My Only Desire

by Adrianne Byrd

  But when it came to that wonderful time in her dorm room, well, that felt more like a dream—even after all these years. It was just too bad that he hadn’t felt that way, too.

  Because if he had he would’ve stuck around.

  Chapter 15

  A week later, the Lonely Hearts book club crowded into Anna’s living room. All of them seemed ready to bust at the seams with the latest dirt on their struggling love lives. Well, everyone except for Anna. Like always, she was content to just play hostess by making sure that everyone’s coffee cups remained full.

  “First, I’d like to make an announcement—I’m going back into the closet,” Emmadonna said.

  “Well, at least it lasted longer than I thought,” Ivy sniped. “What was that—three months? I gave you three hours.”

  Jade laughed. “I had three minutes.”

  “It might as well have been three minutes,” Emmadonna said. “It’s not like I roped in a girlfriend or anything. I’ve been to one gay bar and, child, it’s a hot mess up in those places, you hear me? How come lesbians aren’t as fashion forward as gay men? Child, what I saw up in there was a crying shame.”

  “So you’re running back to the other team because you didn’t like their clothing?”

  “That…and I just wasn’t feeling it. I need muscles, broad shoulders, thick thighs and a schlong that can rock my butt to sleep. You feel me?”

  A snapshot of Taariq flashed in Anna’s mind and she accidentally burned her tongue on her coffee.

  “Shi—” She glanced up. “Sorry. It’s hot.”

  “Anyway,” Emmadonna continued, “I walked my butt out of that lesbian bar and I ran up on this fine papí down at The Atrium. Girl, now those Columbian men are where it’s at!” She held up her hand and went around the room until everyone gave her a high five.

  “Oh, here she goes.” Jade laughed. “She’s done found herself another nationality.”

  “Shoot. I believe in exploring all my options. Ain’t going to find me sixty-five caring for a bunch of cats.”

  Sasha meowed from her perch on the ottoman.

  “No offense,” Emmadonna tacked on.

  Meow.

  Anna chuckled and tried another sip of coffee.

  “So you guys want to hear what’s going been going on with me and Reece?” Ivy said.

  “Who?” Anna and Jade asked in sync.

  “You know, Reece.” She rolled her hand along. “The Mandingo god I met at Gisella’s wedding.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Three smiles stretched across their faces.

  Ivy rolled her eyes and folded her arms. That was never a good sign. “Well, everything was cool…until his technically still married butt got arrested for owing child support.”

  “What?”

  “Uh-huh, girls. We were just coming out of Piccadilly after meeting my parents.”

  “Whoa,” Anna said. “You actually introduced him to your parents?”

  Ivy shrugged. “Hell, I really thought his broke butt was the one. Turns out he’s got a wife and twin boys stashed in Jamaica that he conveniently forgot to tell me about. Can you believe these brothers out here nowadays?”

  “Yes, I can,” Jade said, rocking her head and crossing her legs. “I finally had to let Harold go when I realized that he had developed quite the habit of leaving his wallet at home every time we went out for dinner. Sometimes I swear all of these men are just looking for a sugar momma. They want us to do everything. There’s no effort anymore.”

  Anna heard her friends talking, but she really wasn’t listening. She was trying to list all the things that she imagined were wrong with Taariq. The main one being that he clearly enjoyed having one-night stands where he crept out of bed before the sun rose. Then there was the possibility of him having a slew of baby mommas and illegitimate children running around all over Atlanta. Hell, he probably didn’t even know about them since he never stuck around to see if he’d knocked someone up.

  “Anna! Anna!” Emmadonna started snapping her fingers in front of Anna’s face.

  “Huh? What?” She blinked out of her reverie to see that everyone was staring at her. “Do you all need a refill?” She started to stand.

  “Nah, girl. We were asking what’s up with you. Have you gone out with that white boy yet? Or is he the reason that you’re zoning out over there?”

  Anna laughed. “No. Actually, Stanley and I haven’t gone out yet. His leg is still in a cast.”

  “What? What happened?” Ivy asked.

  Anna shrugged while the image of Taariq’s hard tackle flashed in her mind. Those legs. Those muscles.

  “Anna?” Jade probed.

  “Oh, um. He and his boys were playing football and he got tackled pretty hard.”

  “Huh. I would have never thought of Stanley as the athletic type,” Emmadonna commented, nonchalantly.

  Anna had to laugh. “He isn’t. I think he was trying to impress me.”

  “Aww. That’s sweet.” Jade rubbed her shoulder. “I can’t remember the last time a man tried to impress me—other than my daddy.”

  There was a circle of agreement.

  “You’re still going to go out once he gets better, right?”

  “Yeah, sure.” Anna shrugged. “I don’t see why not.”

  “You better,” Emmadonna warned. “A lady never turns down a free meal.”

  “And neither do some of these brothers out here,” Jade chirped.

  The women laughed just as the doorbell rang.

  “Be right back.” Anna hopped up and rushed toward the door. “Gisella? What are you doing here?”

  “Would you believe that I was just in the neighborhood?” She plopped a kiss on her sister’s cheek and then entered the apartment. At the sound of the Lonely Hearts laughing in the living room she made a beeline to go join them.

  “Ah, Gisella!” All the women jumped to their feet to give her a hug.

  “Where’s that adorable baby of yours?” Jade asked.

  “He’s at the barbershop with his father,” Gisella answered.

  “Isn’t it a little early for a haircut?” Anna laughed, coming up behind her.

  “Yes. But you know that Herman’s is Charlie’s hangout spot and he wanted the fellahs to meet his son. Male bonding is what I think he’s calling it.”

  “Well, look at you,” Emmadonna said, holding Gisella’s arms out. “Your little body just snapped right back into shape. You can’t even tell that you were pregnant. You make me sick,” she said with a smile.

  “Sorry, babe.”

  While Gisella said her hellos, Anna went into the kitchen and made her sister a cup of coffee, just the way she liked it. “Here you go,” she said, returning to the living room.

  “Thanks.” Gisella accepted her cup of coffee and then took a spot on the sofa next to Ivy.

  “Soooo. Are you just here for a visit or are you looking to rejoin our little group?”

  “Not unless you guys are actually going to start reading books.”

  The girls all looked at each other and then chorused, “Naaaah.” They erupted into another round of laughter.

  “I didn’t think so.” Gisella rolled her eyes and then focused her attention on Anna. “You know that ski trip is coming up.”

  The sudden change in topic jarred Anna for a moment. “Ski trip?”

  “Yeah. Remember I told you that Charlie and I wanted to plan a vacation trip that could include family and friends?”

  “Oh, yeah. That sounds nice. You guys will probably have a good time.”

  “You guys? You’re coming, too.”

  “Me?” Anna frowned. “I thought you said that this was like a couple’s thing? I’m not dating anyone right now and I definitely don’t want to be that one pathetic odd girl out while everyone is being all lovey-dovey with each other.” She shook her head. “Nah. I’ll pass.”

  “Pass? Why? You’re not going to be doing anything—and it’s not just going to be couples. There will be other single people there.
”

  Anna’s hackles rose. “Like who?”

  Gisella hesitated. “Like people. What does it matter? I want you to come with me.”

  That explanation did nothing to alleviate her suspicion. “Gisella, I don’t know. You know that I have a lot of—”

  “Don’t tell me that you have to work. You have vacation time. You’re coming.”

  Anna could be just as stubborn as her sister, especially since Charlie’s friends included Taariq. “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “I just…I don’t want to,” she insisted.

  “Does this have something to do with Taariq?” Gisella asked.

  The other girls’ ears perked up.

  “What? No,” Anna lied. “Why would I care about Taariq going? This has nothing to do with him.” Her face grew warm because she suspected that everyone knew that she was lying.

  “Well, good. ’Cause he’s not going,” Gisella said. “I think that he has other plans with some…body.”

  “With who?” Anna asked before she could stop herself.

  Gisella shrugged with a soft smile. “Who knows? You know how the Kappa men are. And I doubt that Stanley’s going to be able to go because of his leg.”

  Anna had stopped listening after Gisella had said that Taariq was going to be spending time with some mystery chick. Who was she? Was it serious? What did serious mean to Taariq?

  “Anna! Anna!” Gisella snapped her fingers in front of Anna’s face.

  “Huh? What?”

  Gisella frowned. “What’s with you?”

  “Actually, she’s been doing that a lot lately,” Emmadonna said.

  “I was just…thinking.”

  “So you’ll go?” Gisella said. “We haven’t been on a vacation together since we were little.”

  Anna sucked in a long breath. “All right. I’ll go.”

  “Great!” Gisella jumped up then gave her sister a tight hug. “You’re not going to regret this. I promise.”

  Anna returned the hug, but in her mind, she still wondered who Taariq was seeing.

  The moment Charlie strolled into Herman’s Barbershop with his little mini-me nestled in a baby carrier against his chest all the men who’d had their faces glued to SportsCenter hopped up to check out the latest member of their boys’ club.

  “Oh, he looks like his momma,” Herman said. “Thank God.”

  The brothers got a good laugh at that.

  “Check it out. Check it out.” J.T. reached into his mobile merchandise coat and pulled out a gold chain. “I got something for little man.”

  Charlie pulled away. “J.T., don’t give my son none of that cheap junk. That stuff may be liable to turn green and poison him.”

  “Nah. Nah. This is the real deal. I got this from a friend of a friend’s cousin that swears this stuff is legit.”

  “Man, if you don’t get on with that mess…” Charlie moved past the brother and headed over to one of the available chairs. No sooner had he sat down did Derrick, Hylan and Taariq stroll in. They received their rounds of celebratory greetings before heading to their seats.

  “Well, well, well. If it ain’t Charlie and his little shadow,” Taariq said, strutting over. “Looks like you have this whole papa thing down.” He held up his fist for his usual knuckle bump, and then tweaked the baby’s cheek. “It looks like your momma’s good looks saved you.”

  Charlie rolled his eyes. “There’s a joke that never gets old.”

  Taariq chuckled and then took his place in Bobby’s chair.

  “You’re a good role model,” Derrick said. “I hope I turn out half as good as you. Right now I’m just trying to survive Isabella’s mood swings. She’s all sweet and cuddly one minute and the next she’s all weepy and crying because I painted the baby room banana-yellow instead of sunshine-yellow.”

  Hylan chuckled. “I think I’m ahead of the game because my wife was arguably insane before I married her so I haven’t detected any real mood swings.”

  The boys chuckled.

  “I always thought that it would take a special kind of crazy to put up with you,” Derrick added.

  “I’d second that.” Charlie laughed.

  “Ha. Ha. Nikki is wonderful and she’s going to make a great mother.”

  “How’s her play coming along?” Charlie asked.

  “So far, so good. She found a director and they’ll be doing casting soon. Hopefully everything will come together by the spring. If the play does well here in Atlanta, then she’ll look at touring and eventually landing on Broadway—at least closer to Broadway than the last time. By the way, thank you all for investing. It really means a lot to me.”

  “It’s no problem, dog. Now that Masters Holdings has climbed out of debt, I’m glad to do what I can. Speaking of which, are you guys still going to be able to go on the ski trip?”

  “Actually, I’ve been meaning to get back with you on that,” Derrick said. “We’re going to have to back out. The whole skiing while pregnant doesn’t exactly sound like a wise thing to be doing.”

  “Same here,” Hylan said. “Maybe we can do it next year?”

  Charlie bobbed his head and before turning his attention to Taariq. “What about you? You can’t ski while pregnant, too?”

  “Very funny. I don’t have any babies here or on the way.”

  “So you’re coming?”

  He hesitated.

  “C’mon, man. You don’t have anything else to do and since you landed our man Stanley on some crutches, it’s not like he’s going to be able to go. I’d hate for it to be just the three of us.”

  “You’re taking the baby?”

  “Nah. My mother will be watching my little man here. So far it’s looking like it’s going to be just me, Gisella and Anna.”

  Taariq’s eyebrows sprung up. “Anna is going?”

  “Yep. Gisella is determined to get her out and about. She’s afraid that she’s working too hard and not enjoying life.” Charlie shrugged. “I’m starting to agree with her.”

  Taariq shifted in his chair. Maybe he could get Anna off alone somewhere so that he could find out once and for all why she hated him so much. He was tired of trying to figure it out on his own. He wasn’t used to getting such vitriol from women. They usually loved him.

  “Taariq! Taariq!” Charlie snapped his fingers in front of his boy’s face.

  “Huh? What?” Taariq snapped out of his reverie. “What were we talking about?”

  “The trip. Are you in or are you out, man?”

  Chapter 16

  By the first of the year, Anna had studied everything she could on backcountry skiing. Last time she’d gone skiing she was sixteen. Her father thought it would be a good idea for his daughters to bond on a trip to Austria. They did. Anna picked up the sport rather easily, but now it had been so long she felt like she needed a refresher course. As with everything that she did, she wanted to be knowledgeable about anything and everything she tried to do. Not only did she study everything that she could get her hands on, she must’ve bought over half the items in the sporting goods store. She didn’t want to get caught not having something.

  Of course, the look on Charlie’s face when he and her sister showed up at her condo to load up the SUV was comical.

  “I…don’t think that we’re going to be able to take all of this.” He walked around the pile in the living room, scratching his head. “You know that we’re just going for the weekend, right?”

  Anna nodded and tried to imagine what in her four-foot pile of luggage and equipment she could leave behind. “I’m sure that you can get it to fit.”

  “But what is all of this stuff? Backpack, sleeping bags…and what is this?” He reached for something that looked like it had handlebars.

  Anna leaned over. “Oh. That’s a snow bike.”

  Charlie cocked his head at her. “What the hell do you need a snow bike for?”

  “Well…I had read on the internet—”

  “Stop. Stop.” He
held up his hand. “It stays,” he announced.

  Anna opened her mouth to protest, but her brother-in-law gave her a stern look that made it clear that he wasn’t playing. “In fact, why don’t you and Gisella go on down to the car and I’ll weed out what can go and what will stay?”

  “But—”

  Gisella grabbed her sister’s arm. “Let’s go, Anna. Let him figure this out. Trust me.” Gisella laughed. “Let him figure it out before you give him a heart attack.”

  Anna finally allowed her sister to push her out of the condo. An hour later, Charlie had the SUV loaded to the max before he climbed in behind the wheel.

  “All righty. Let’s get this show on the road,” Charlie said, flashing Anna a mini-smile through the rearview mirror. Then they were off. They made it to the airport in record time and when Charlie started loading up his private plane, Anna looked around.

  “So where is everybody?”

  “Hmm?”

  It was a strange reaction since Anna was looking dead at Gisella when she asked the question. “I asked where is everybody?”

  “Oh. Um. Isabella and Nikki aren’t going to be able to make it. The whole pregnancy thing.”

  “I thought that was a little odd, but then I thought they were just going to hang around the lodge and sip cocoa.”

  “That would’ve been nice, but the whole high-altitude and everything… Next time, we’re going to have to pick something that doesn’t involve a whole lot of physical activity since we’ll never know who will be pregnant at any given time.”

  Anna’s eyebrows stretched at the hidden implication. “Does that mean that you guys are planning on more children soon?”

  Gisella’s face lit up. “Maybe. We’ll see.”

  Laughing, the women climbed aboard the airplane. Once in the air, Gisella went on about how fabulous married life had turned out and bragged about how well Sinful Chocolate was doing even during the deep recession. Again, Anna felt happy for her sister, but recognized the growing hole in her life. The hole she kept filling with work and episodes of CSI: Miami. After a while, she doubted Gisella even noticed that she had stopped commenting on all the cute little things she and Charlie did to keep the romance alive in their marriage. Gisella was content with just her smiles and constant nodding.