Desperate Times 2 Gun Control

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  “Homey spent his first day in the kitchen,” Bill said, smiling at Jimmy. “The dude is cool, bro.”

  Jimmy wanted to scream. This was not Bill, not the Bill that he had known for so many years. He bit his tongue and returned the smile. “That’s me,” he said, “one cool dude.”

  “Right on,” Bill said, giving Jimmy the double thumbs-up.

  “He’d better be,” Big Al said. “We got a good gig here, and I don’t want anyone screwing it up for us. Billy-Boy here says you don’t like our policy against guns. Tough shit; that’s the way it is, and if you don’t like it, lump it. Right, boys?”

  Wart wheeled past them. “Lump it, lump it,” he whistled. He then dropped lightly to his feet and artfully scooped up the unicycle. “No guns, Mr. Bond. But we got plenty of hot chicks to choose from.”

  Jimmy turned on Bill, and Bill withered again. He suddenly understood that whatever he told Bill would be shared with anyone who chose to listen.

  “That’s right,” Big Al said. “There’s twenty to one out there. Can you dig it?”

  “Not many ugly ones,” said Wart, who was still smiling. He set down the unicycle, walked over to the workbench and picked up a pack of cigarettes. “Care for a smoke, man?” he said, offering the pack to Jimmy.

  Again, Jimmy stared at Bill. The Camel cigarettes looked all too familiar, and it only took a second for Jimmy to make the connection. He took the pack and shook himself out one. Wart stuck the lighter into Jimmy’s face, and Jimmy lit up. “Thanks,” he said. “So what else has Bill said about me?”

  “Says you’re a chick magnet,” Wart said, slyly. “Says you have to beat them off with a stick, daddy-o. I’ll bet you do.”

  “Yeah?” asked Jimmy. “Well, Bill says a lot of things.”

  “Let’s get some chow,” said Big Al, waving at Jimmy to follow him. “You want some toaster waffles? We were just eating. I’ve got the best maple syrup you’ve ever tasted.”

  “Righteous,” said Bill.

  They sat together drinking hot coffee and eating four boxes of syrup-drenched waffles. Jimmy found that Wart did most of the talking. The little man explained how things worked down at the shop. They worked at their own pace; no one understood what they were doing, and sometimes they just wanted to drink beer and play games. The shop was off limits to everyone except the mechanics and the Equals. The Equals avoided the place like the plague. They were well rewarded for performing their mechanical miracles and near the top of the food chain. The dingy shop had its own kitchen, complete with a stocked freezer and loads of canned foods. The shop also had its own sleeping quarters, laundry room, and one of the largest flat-screen televisions that Jimmy had ever seen. Jimmy couldn’t help wonder how much better the shop would look if it were cleaned. He then wondered how many days it would take to accomplish that.

  Chapter 16

  Wart gradually grew on Jimmy, as did Big Al. They were very odd, but they seemed to accept him into their fold, and that meant something to him. They had a live and let live philosophy; both men had lost everything they had ever had, and they were only trying to make the best of the world they now lived in. Jimmy understood that, and it gave them all a common ground. He caught himself using the words “man” and “dude,” which was a little disturbing. By the time they finished breakfast, Jimmy had pretty much forgiven them all, even Bill.

  “I’m going to lay down,” yawned Big Al, stretching his arms wide. “Wake me up for lunch, dude.”

  “Me too,” said Bill, perfectly imitating Big Al’s motions.

  Wart stood from the table. “I’m going to go work on the drains in the women’s shower. You want to tag along?” he asked Jimmy.

  “No,” he said. “I’m going to pass this time. Go ahead. I think I’m going to clean this place up a little bit. You dudes don’t mind, do you?”

  Big Al studied Jimmy for a moment. “Hell, no,” he said. “I’ve been after these two slobs to pick up after themselves like forever. Thanks, man.”

  Wart shrugged his shoulders. “Whatever,” he said. “You’re going to miss the show.”

  Jimmy didn’t think Julie would approve of him inside the women’s shower, no matter what the reason. He eyeballed the mess around him and wondered if he hadn’t spoken too soon. He didn’t have long to think about it. Wart dressed, slung a tool belt around his narrow hips and headed out the door without another word. Bill and Big Al retired a moment later, and Jimmy found himself alone.

  What Jimmy couldn’t understand was how three grown men could live in such a pigsty. He found an unopened box of lawn and leaf trash bags, and within an hour he had filled close to a dozen bags. He stacked them by the overhead door, wondering where they needed to be taken. He swept the floor and wiped down benches, tables, and countertops. He attacked the bathroom like a man on fire, wearing rubber gloves and using pure bleach. He tried to organize things the best he could, but with so many unfinished projects laying around in various states of disrepair, it wasn’t easy.

  Still, Jimmy found that he was quietly enjoying himself. He was in a shop again, and he was making a difference. He thought about taking a break, but he wanted to get as much done as he could before Wart returned. He thought about Wart and chuckled. He had never met anyone as outlandish as the little man. He wondered what Jon would have made of him. He could hear both Bill and Big Al snoring from behind the closed doors of the two small bedrooms. They seemed like twins separated at birth. Jimmy found a scrub mop, and he mopped both the kitchen and bathroom floors. He was sweating, picking up speed as the minutes slipped away.

  The bleach began to irritate his eyes and his lungs, and Jimmy decided to step outside to catch some air. He nearly collided with a group of young women who were standing outside the door. Three of the girls were blonde, and two of them were probably sisters, thought Jimmy. He guessed them to be in their mid-twenties and perhaps members of the same track team. They were all tall and lean, and their smiles were infectious. Jimmy found that he couldn’t wipe the smile from his own face.

  “We’ve been talking about you,” the tallest of the three blondes said as she stopped jogging just a few feet from where he stood. “Heather thinks you’re cute.”

  “He is cute,” giggled one of the other girls.

  They suddenly circled him and began to pepper him with questions. Where did he come from? Did he think the soldiers would come back and visit them? Did he have a girlfriend? Jimmy fought to keep their names straight. Heather was the brunette; that was easy. The blondes were Marie, Ashley, and Samantha. Marie had been the first to speak, and Ashley and Samantha were indeed sisters. They spun him around, firing questions at him and laughing at his answers. All four of the girls seemed to be staring straight into his eyes, and Jimmy found himself blushing.

  “Doesn’t he have the cutest dimples?”

  “Sorry, my sister doesn’t get out much,” Ashley said. “Besides, there aren’t any good-looking boys here.”

  “You mean there weren’t any good-looking boys here,” said Marie, slyly.

  “I’m a boy,” Bill nearly shouted from behind Jimmy.

  “Eww,” groaned one of the girls.

  Jimmy turned to see Bill, Big Al, and Wart, all wearing their matching overalls and smiling dreamily at Jimmy’s new friends.

  “We’ll see you around, Jimmy,” Marie said, with a flash of smile and a wink. “Come on, girls. I think it’s safe to shower now.”

  “Bye, Jimmy,” cooed another of the girls.

  Jimmy was smiling and turned to say good-bye. That was when he saw Julie standing with her arms crossed, not ten feet away, halfway behind a towering white pine. Her face was red, and her eyes were blazing.

  “Yes, sir,” said Big Al, slapping Jimmy on the back. “You can stay, Jimmy. You’re a regular chick magnet!”

  “You’re my hero,” whistled Wart.

  “Umph!” whooshed Julie as she turned on her heels.

  “Oh-oh,” said Bill. “This isn’t good.”

&n
bsp; Jimmy was already chasing after Julie, trying to remember if he had said anything really bad to any of the girls. He knew that he hadn’t. The problem was what he hadn’t said to them. He hadn’t told them about Julie.

  She was sprinting now, running away from him with reckless abandon across the new-fallen snow and into the woods. She was wearing a red ski jacket over a pair of blue jeans. Jimmy could hear her up ahead of him, and she was crying. She suddenly cried out in pain and fell face first into the snow. There was the sound of crunching glass, and the snow around Julie’s face began to turn red. She didn’t move.

  Chapter 17

  “Worst fractures I’ve ever treated on a woman,” Doc told Jimmy. “I’m afraid there isn’t much I could do to set them. She’s going to take it hard. You damn well better be there for her. If you so much as look at another woman, I’ll have you bounced out of here so fast, it’ll make your head spin. Do you understand me?”

  Jimmy nodded. They had just left Julie’s cabin, and he had seen Julie’s ruined face. Broken nose, broken cheekbone, and perhaps a cracked orbital socket; Doc wasn’t quite sure. She had tripped face first into a small pile of discarded engine parts that had been buried under the snow. Jimmy saw her as having just gone twelve rounds against the champ. Doc had completely sedated her once they reached Julie’s cabin. She was holding her face, moaning, and sobbing into her cupped hands. When Doc finally got her to pull them away, both he and Jimmy gasped. Julie began to wail, and Doc jammed her with something that put her down in under two minutes.

  “Boil me a pot of water, now!” Doc had shouted.

  Jimmy didn’t hesitate. He ran to the kitchen and found a saucepan, set it on the stove and dumped bottled water into the pan. When he returned, Jimmy saw that Doc had his tools sitting on the nightstand next to Julie’s bed. They were stainless steel, and to Jimmy they looked ancient and painful.

  Doc rummaged in his bag and pulled out a pair of scissors. “Come on,” he said to Jimmy. “I’ll hold her up while you cut. Her hair has got to go.”

  “I can’t do it.”

  “You damn well can and you will!”

  “She’s going to hate me.”

  “Just do it,” growled Doc.

  Jimmy took the scissors and moved next to Julie. He didn’t know where to start, and he couldn’t stand to stare into her ruined face. Her cheeks were black, and her nose looked like a smashed plum.

  “Just start chopping. We don’t have all day!”

  And Jimmy chopped. Tears ran down his cheeks as he began to lop off her beautiful thick, black hair, in great hunks and clumps. “I’m sorry, baby,” he whispered as he cut. “I’m so damn sorry.”

  After what seemed like an eternity, Jimmy had Julie looking like a new Marine. Doc gestured for Jimmy to get up, and he gently laid Julie back down on her bed. He then walked past Jimmy out into the kitchen.

  Doc came back into the room holding the saucepan with a pair of mismatched oven mitts. He set the pan next to the bed and asked Jimmy to close the door and wait in the other room. He whispered that he was going to have to set the bones without the help of an x-ray and that she may cry out in pain. He told Jimmy not to worry about that.

  The next two hours were the longest of Jimmy’s life.

  A half hour into his wait, a solid-looking woman came to the outside door and knocked. Jimmy wiped his eyes and slowly went to the door. He took a deep breath and opened it.

  “How is she?” asked the dark-skinned woman with a slight Jamaican accent as she pushed past him.

  “Doc is with her now. You can’t go in there.”

  “Do you know me?”

  Jimmy gave her a puzzled look. She wore a colorful dress that she filled out with a big-boned frame. Her black hair hung in dreadlocks, and she wore a pair of John Lennon sunglasses that she didn’t bother to remove once she was inside. She was a formidable woman, and Jimmy knew without asking that this was Venus.

  “That’s right,” she said, removing her large boots. “Now tell me something. Who is in there with the doctor?”

  “Julie is in there.”

  “Idiot! Who is in there assisting the doctor?”

  Jimmy quickly turned away from her intense glare. “No one,” he hissed.

  “Men!” she cried, disgustedly. She quickly spun on her heels and charged into Julie’s bedroom. She closed the door firmly behind her, and Jimmy could hear a hushed argument ensue from behind that door. The argument lasted only seconds, and soon all Jimmy heard were Julie’s painful groans and whimpers.

  Julie’s beautiful face was set in a thick, white plaster cast. Two impossibly small holes allowed her to see, while two others allowed access to her nose and mouth. The cast went all the way to her shoulders. She was out cold, and Venus had covered her up to her neck with a quilt.

  Jimmy looked down and stared into the face of a mummy. Somehow, he knew he was to blame.

  Venus made him go back to the shop, promising that she would send for him when it came time for him to watch over her. “This is a terrible thing,” she said. “And I feel sorry for you, Jimmy. Now it is time to act like a real man. Do you know how to do that, young Jimmy? She is gonna need a real man.”

  Jimmy nodded.

  “You stay away from all of those little tarts, you hear me, boy? You don’t want to mess with me and my friends. Don’t you dare stray on that poor girl. I would have to hurt you.” Jimmy looked into Venus’ face, and he never doubted her for a second. She then broke into a warm smile. “I was kidding. I just want you to know that I’m going to be watching you. Your friend Bill Huggins told me all about you. I know your kind. Oh, yes, I surely do. You best steer clear of temptation. This place has too many young women, and they’re all lonely. You stay away from them.”

  Jimmy nodded again, but this time he was starting to get angry. He had heard enough, and he set his chin and began to reply to her blunt accusations.

  She shut him down with a bellowing laugh. “That’s being a man,” she said. “That’s what Julie needs. Go now. I will call for you.”

  Jimmy turned up his collar and walked back to the shop with his head down. A stiff breeze had kicked up, and he was peppered with sleet as he walked. The tears had begun again after he had walked out of the cabin. This was certainly all his fault. He should have walked away from those girls, right away, and if he had done so, none of this would have happened. Jimmy was sure of it. He couldn’t get the picture of bald-headed Julie and her Halloween face out of his mind. He knew he was going to have to try. The shop loomed ahead, and he didn’t want the guys to see him crying.

  He walked in the same door he had come out of when they heard the choppers. The garbage bags still sat where he had left them which immediately stuck in his craw. There was life on the other end of the shop, and smoke hung in the air. Jimmy could see three forms huddled around something—a blue flame sizzled, and hot red sparks sprayed to his freshly swept floor. He was done cleaning, and they obviously didn’t appreciate it. Jimmy made his way around the ping pong table and saw that it was once again littered with nuts and bolts and a new-looking snowmobile ski. Jimmy stopped and stared at the object of the mechanic’s attention. He saw them hacking away at what he was sure to be the skeleton of his beloved Polaris. Anger turned to rage.

  Wart saw him first and stood defiantly between Jimmy and his counterparts. “What the hell are you guys doing?” screamed Jimmy. “You have no right to do that!”

  Big Al and Bill stopped what they were doing and turned to face him. And that was when Jimmy noticed the fourth man standing in the shadows. “That’s where you’re wrong, man,” the man said. “I ordered them to do it. Have you ever heard of global warming?”

  “What?” Jimmy shrieked. “Who the hell are you?”

  “I am called Pluto,” he said. “And you’re about two seconds away from walking out of here—forever. Can you dig it?”

  Jimmy quickly reassessed the situation and decided that it was time to try another tactic. “I’m sorry
,” he said, scratching his chin. “I’ve had a bad day.”

  The man studied him for a long moment. He was tall and thin with long gray hair and a beard to match. He made Jimmy think of what George Harrison would have looked like at seventy. Pluto wore strings of love beads over a faded flannel shirt. His blue jeans were ripped in the knees and tucked into a pair of moon boots. He stood at an angle with his hands on his hips. He dropped his arm and waved Jimmy to follow him over to the kitchen. “Come on, I’m going to brew us a pot of tea. We need to rap.”

  Jimmy’s new coworkers went back to savaging his Polaris, and he followed Pluto into the semi-clean kitchen. The old hippie seemed to know his way around the kitchen, and he quickly filled a tea kettle and set it on the stove. “Bummer about your old lady,” Pluto said.