Desperate Times 2 Gun Control

by Nicholas Antinozzi

  “You will leave now!” Venus ordered, taking her feet and jabbing a thick finger at Myron.

  Myron looked thunderstruck. “Oh, I see it all now,” he hissed in a lilting voice, thick with emotion. He turned on his heels and bolted to the door. “Just remember, I was only doing what you asked me to do. This is on you. This is on you!” He walked out and slammed the door behind him.

  The long room wasn’t very large, and the slamming door echoed off the knotty pine walls. Jimmy shook his head, wondering exactly what the loud mouth was warning them about. Tony Clerk looked at Jimmy uneasily.

  “Your friend has a very big mouth,” said Venus. “The next time he opens it like that, I will walk him to the gate. You make sure he knows that.”

  “I will, I will,” said Tony. “I just want you to know that Myron is a righteous dude. Please don’t come down too hard on him. He’s very emotional. He found his entire family gunned down inside their church. He’s a little messed up.”

  Jimmy and Burt exchanged a sorry look.

  “We all know about what happened to his family, just as we all have our own story,” said Pluto. He turned to Burt. “Look man, this is my place. My rule is no guns, and I have a thousand reasons why if you ever care to debate me, but that one is set in stone.”

  “I am a cop and you know that,” plead Burt. “Here you are,” he said, setting the big rifle down on the table. He then unzipped his jacket and removed his two .38’s from his matching shoulder holsters. “There you go. Are you happy now?”

  Mars shook his head. “How do we know that he’s telling the truth? Dude could still be packing. Tony, pat him down.”

  Venus again stuck her finger out, and this time she pointed to Mars. “Nobody is going to pat this proud man down, no sir! She was holding Burt’s wallet up to her eyes, and she slapped it on the table. “Why, as I live and breathe, Burt Sharpen.”

  Burt smiled, but it was obvious that he had no idea who Venus was.

  “No,” Venus said. “You would not remember me, Burt Sharpen. But I never forget a name or a face. Do you remember a young man named Scoot Hoover?”

  Burt scratched his bald head and scrunched his nose. “That was a long time ago. Bullet wound to the chest? Cashier at Mutt’s Liquors—that Scoot Hoover?”

  “That was my nephew.”

  “I nailed the two punks that did that.”

  “I know you did. Thank you. He was an angel.”

  There was a moment of silence as Burt and Venus exchanged a sad look. Jimmy thought about how the world was really a small place, full of strange intersections.

  “Fair enough,” said Pluto. “Burt, as long as we have your word on it. You are not carrying any other firearms?”

  “I am not,” said Burt.

  “That’s good enough for me,” said Pluto. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to go have a cup of tea. Mars, would you care to join me?”

  Mars shook his head. Jimmy could tell that he was still stinging from Venus’ rebuke and by Pluto’s siding with her.

  “I wasn’t asking,” Pluto said with half a smile.

  “Can I go now?” Tony asked. “We don’t have anyone at the gate. I don’t think Myron will be back today, and I’m going to need a new partner.”

  Mars jumped on it. “Burt, say hello to your new partner. Tony, this is Burt. There, done. Let’s split.”

  A minute later Burt, Jimmy, and Venus stood talking in the empty conference room. Jimmy was shocked at how soon things heated up.

  “You can tell me,” Venus cooed. “You’re still armed, aren’t you?”

  “I’ll never tell,” replied Burt with a grin.

  “I could search you, myself.”

  “Only, if you let me search you first.”

  “Aren’t you the frisky one?” Venus gushed.

  The door opened, and Tony Clerk stuck his head in. “Are you ready, Burt?” he asked.

  “No, he’s certainly not ready!” Venus shot back.

  “But… I don’t want to do it alone,” stammered Tony.

  All three of them turned to face the door. “Are you afraid to be alone?” Venus asked with a warm chuckle.

  Tony looked down and nodded.

  “What do you need me to do?” Burt asked. “Stand at the gate with you?”

  Again, Tony nodded.

  “That sounds like cop work to me. Let me get my stuff on. Got any donuts?”

  “Leaving me just like that?” Venus asked. “We were just getting to know each other. I know all about men like you.”

  Burt turned and suddenly took Venus’ chocolate hand and he lifted it to his lips. He then softly kissed it. “That’s where you’re wrong, sister,” he said softly. “You’ve never met anyone like me, and you never will.” He then bowed and followed Tony out the door.

  “Oh, my,” exclaimed Venus after a long moment. “Why didn’t you tell me that your friend was Burt Sharpen?”

  Jimmy smiled at Venus. She was holding both hands to her chest and staring at the door with such passion that Jimmy thought she would run the men down. “He’s a good man,” Jimmy said. “No, I take that back,” he said, scratching his chin. “He’s a great man.”

  “I can tell, Jimmy. Oh, yes, I can surely see it in those bright eyes of his.”

  To avoid congestion in the mess hall, dinner was served between five and seven, and Jimmy knew Tony Clerk was usually first in line. That day was no exception, and Jimmy met them at the door at five o’clock sharp.

  “Hey, guys,” Jimmy said with a smile. “How did it go down at the gate?”

  “That was a complete waste of time, and I felt like someone should have painted a target on my back,” grumbled Burt. “But that’s just my opinion.”

  “Guns kill people,” Tony said, sticking his hands on his hips.

  Burt struck the same pose. “People kill people, you moron! You libs, you really crack me up. What planet are you from? I’ve been working homicide for twenty years, and I have yet to meet a gun that pulled its own trigger.”

  Tony visibly bristled and struck a sidelong stance. Jimmy thought it looked very feminine. Jimmy looked at Burt, but he wasn’t giving Tony an inch. He looked like an offensive tackle, twenty years out of the game. He returned Tony’s glare with a hard stare of his own. Jimmy wondered what had happened down at the gate. He had obviously walked straight into an argument, and he knew he had to try to stop it.

  “I don’t want you down at the gate tomorrow, man,” stammered Tony. “I’d rather stand guard by myself.”

  “Good!”

  That was easy, Jimmy thought as Tony spun around and rushed inside the mess hall. “What was that all about?” he asked, frowning at Burt and showing his disappointment. “Haven’t you ever heard of blending in?”

  “Look at me, Jimmy,” Burt said, tapping his own chest with his fingers. “I haven’t been able to blend in since I was six years old. Besides, from what I’ve seen, I’m the only brother in this whole compound.”

  “Let’s get inside and eat. We can sit at the other end of the room from Tony.”

  “Well, am I?”

  “Are you what?”

  “Am I the only brother in camp?”

  Jimmy nodded as he thought about it. “Yeah, I guess you are.”

  “Venus is single, isn’t she?”

  Jimmy saw where this was headed. “As far as I know,” he said, opening the door for his friend.

  Burt smiled. “I was hoping you’d say that. So your buddy Bill came down to the fence and filled me in on everything. Poor Julie, I’m really sorry. She’s still not talking to you? That’s bad…”

  Jimmy’s muscles began to twitch, and he felt his face begin to turn red. He followed Burt inside and directed him to the short line at the kitchen window where the meals were served cafeteria style. They each grabbed a tray and some silverware and got in line.

  “Smells good,” said Burt. “I sure am hungry.”

  “What else did Bill say?” Jimmy asked, trying to be
casual about it.

  “Oh, I don’t know,” said Burt, stepping up to the window. “He was down there for almost two hours. He said an awful lot.”

  “I’ll bet he did.”

  They were handed steaming plates of spaghetti, and they found a table as far away from the sulking guard as possible. Jimmy saw Tony steal a look at them with something very close to loathing. The lines of tables could easily seat three hundred at a time, but there were only about twenty souls inside the big redwood room. A fire glowed in the fireplace, and the mess hall smelled of garlic and wood smoke.

  Burt dug into his food with vigor. He had helped himself to six pieces of garlic bread and had finished two before Jimmy had even begun to eat. Jimmy was furious with Bill, and he knew he had to warn Burt about him. Bill was a blabbermouth of the highest order.

  Burt drank deeply from his water glass and smiled. “What time does she eat?” he asked, setting his glass down. “I can sit here all night.”

  Jimmy shook his head and smiled. He was happy for both Burt and Venus, for it seemed almost serendipitous that the two should be together. A few minutes later, Burt suddenly smiled.

  “There she is,” he said. “Do you think she’ll sit down with us?”

  Jimmy shrugged. “Slow down, buddy. She’s not going anywhere. You’ve got to be cool, man.”

  Burt gave Jimmy a strange look. “You sound just like one of these hippies. Don’t forget who you are, Jimmy. Look, maybe when you get to be my age you’ll understand this. I’m all done wasting time. I’m done pussyfooting around, and I’m done hiding how I feel. I want to spend the rest of my life with that woman.”

  “You don’t even know her.”

  “I know enough. Look, she’s sitting down all alone,” Burt said, rising to his feet and picking up his tray. “I’m goin’ in.”

  Jimmy laughed as he watched over his shoulder. Burt moved in like a man on a mission, and the people between him and Venus were forced to scatter to avoid being run over.

  “Excuse me?” asked a soft voice. “Would you mind if I sit here?”

  “Not at all,” Jimmy replied absentmindedly, watching as Burt set his tray down and sat down across from a smiling Venus.

  “Thank you,” replied the voice.

  Jimmy shook his head and turned around, and he found himself staring straight into the eyes of his admirer, Jasmine. He felt his heart skip a beat. “Hi,” he said, thinking he had to get out of there.

  “Please, will you sit with me while I eat? I don’t know anyone here, and I hate eating alone.”

  “Huh?” said Jimmy, feeling tongue-tied. “I mean, sure.”

  Jasmine smiled coyly, and she spun her fork in her spaghetti, then set it down and took a sip of water. “My name is Jasmine Ling, and I’m thirty-two years old. I have lost everyone I ever had in this world. I like old movies, long walks, good tequila, and anything by the Black Eyed Peas.”

  Jimmy didn’t know how to respond to that, and he could feel his mouth hanging open. Jasmine Ling was smiling now, her brown eyes never leaving his.

  “This is the part where you tell me your name. You do have a name, don’t you?”

  “Jimmy… Jimmy Logan.”

  “Jimmy Logan,” Jasmine said, rolling his name off the tip of her tongue. “I like that name. Tell me Jimmy. Why is it that you always look so sad?”

  Jimmy was desperately searching for a way out. He knew it was only a matter of time before Bill showed up to eat, and he didn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea. “I’m not sad,” he said. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind, that’s all.”

  “Nice try,” she whispered across the table. “Will you let me take your blues away, Jimmy?”

  “What?”

  “You’re not making this easy. Look, I don’t want to be your girlfriend, and I don’t want to have your children. There. Is that better?”

  Jimmy smiled and nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “I was a little worried there for a minute.”

  Jasmine frowned and shook her head. “Maybe you can try reading between the lines here, okay? I can’t believe I’m doing this. Let me spell this out for you. I am drug and disease free, and I work out two hours each and every day. I’m also one of the most spontaneous women you’ve ever met.”

  Jimmy’s eyebrows raised and he reached for his tray. “Whoa,” he said.

  “I want to have a physical relationship with you.”

  “No, that’s probably a bad idea,” Jimmy muttered. “Let’s forget you said that.”

  “You can trust me, Jimmy. I’ll never tell anyone. I know all about Julie and her accident and how she won’t see you. Go ahead and tell me that you’re not lonely. Tell me that you find me unattractive. Tell me that you don’t find me desirable. I’ve caught you looking at me. I just want to show you that the feeling is mutual.”

  Jimmy was sweating now, and his eyes were darting around the room as it slowly began to fill up. Jasmine continued to stare at him seductively, and he suddenly felt the toe of her shoe run up the inside if his calf.

  “Mars would have me, but I really don’t want to go there with him. He’s been with nearly every girl in the camp. That’s why I want you, Jimmy. No strings attached, I promise.”

  As Jimmy struggled to find the words to say to Jasmine, Mars approached the table at great speed. His feathered hair flew behind his ears, and his blue eyes were as cold as stones. “My, isn’t this cozy?” Mars asked, barely concealing his distaste. “Jimmy, what’s going on here?”

  Jimmy was about to stand and excuse himself from the weirdness, but for some reason he wasn’t moving. He sat back in his chair and eyed his rival. “Mars,” he said. “I believe you’ve met Jasmine. I promised her that I’d sit with her while she eats.”

  “How noble of you,” replied Mars, with plenty of smug in his silky voice. “I think it’s time for a shift change. Jasmine and I are good friends, and I have something I want to talk to her about.”

  “Talk to me later, Mars,” Jasmine said, picking up her fork. “I’m trying to make friends here.”

  Mars seemed taken aback by her comment. He studied Jimmy for a minute, and his gaze gradually grew into a glare. “Take a hike, Jimmy.”

  Jimmy knew he should follow that advice—knew it with every fiber in his body. Still, he didn’t move a muscle. Mars was challenging his manhood, and Jimmy wasn’t having any of it. “I think I’ll wait until she’s finished her dinner, thanks,” Jimmy said.

  Mars grew red in the face, and he looked back and forth between the two with pure contempt. “Fine,” he said. “If that’s the way you want to play it. Jasmine, I’ll be talking to you after dinner.” He then turned his back on them and walked away.

  “You are my knight in shining armor,” gushed Jasmine. “Thank you.”

  Jimmy had turned in his seat and was watching Mars leave the mess hall. He knew he should have listened to him and that he had somehow created more trouble for himself.

  “Who’s a knight in shining armor?” asked a familiar voice. “Jimmy?”

  Jimmy spun around and found Bill sitting down next to him. His tray held a triple portion of spaghetti and nearly a dozen hunks of garlic bread. Wart was hot on his heels, and he sat next to Jasmine. “Hello, beautiful,” he said, and he winked at Jimmy. “Do you mind if I sit here?”

  Jasmine smiled and rose from the table. “I’m sorry. I was just getting up to go. Jimmy, it was very nice meeting you, and I hope you’ll think about what I said.”

  Jimmy nodded and quickly wished he hadn’t.

  “Enjoy your dinner, dudes,” Jasmine said with a bright smile. “I’ll be seeing you around.”

  This last comment had been directed to Jimmy, and Bill looked back and forth between the two of them with his cheeks stuffed full of half-chewed spaghetti. He watched Jasmine walk away with all the subtlety of a fox watching a stray chicken. “She’s so damn hot,” Bill managed to say as he stuffed some garlic bread into his open mouth.

  “I’ll say,” said Wart. “
She’s four-alarm fire hot. Jimmy, you dog!”

  “There is nothing going on!”

  Bill and Wart studied him for a moment, and they both began to chuckle. Jimmy wanted to scream as he wondered how everything could have gone so wrong in such a short amount of time. He shook his head. “Believe what you want,” he said, picking up his tray and rising to his feet. “I’m going back to the shop.”

  Wart and Bill both began to speak at once, but Jimmy didn’t hear a word of it. He knew where he had to go, and nobody was going to stop him. This foolishness had to end. Julie was going to see him whether she liked it or not. He slipped on his jacket and breezed out the door into the frigid night air.