by Willow Rose
Nigel raised a trembling hand.
“Yes, young man?”
“Ddd …does that mean that they are traveling in time?” He stuttered.
Einstein looked at Nigel with great impression.
“Yes, young man. That is exactly what it means.”
“Does that mean that we can travel in time as well?”
“Exactement!” said the professor who stood behind Einstein. He could no longer hide his great enthusiasm.
We all gasped.
“Particles that move faster than light are essentially moving backward in time. Think of it as being shot before the trigger is pulled,” continued Einstein.
“So we are able to fly back in time?” repeated Nigel as if he didn’t get his reply. It was a lot to take in at once. I had to give him that.
“Yes,” answered Einstein. “All of you posses the ability to fly that fast. That doesn’t mean that you will, just that you can.”
No one spoke for a long time when we left the classroom. It was one thing to have been taught by the great Albert Einstein himself, it was another to have overthrown all we claimed to know about physics. It wasn’t the first time we had this feeling, but time travel? That was too far out. But the professor had declared he was going to teach us that this year. The more I thought about it, the more exciting it got. Just think of what a spirit could do!
I hadn’t been with Mick all day and I was happy to float into the hall and see him waiting for me at the table. My classmates had finally started talking again when we sat down.
“I can’t believe we can actually fly faster than the speed of light,” said Nigel with big eyes.
“It is pretty cool,” said Acacia. She licked sparerib sauce off her fingers.
“So I guess you had a visit from Mr. Einstein,” said Mick.
I nodded and picked at a chunk of potato with my fork while pictures of Jason went through my mind.
“No appetite again? What is going on with you today?” he asked with a low voice. “Is everything all right?”
I looked up and met his eyes. Then I forced a smile and tried to seem normal and relaxed. “Yeah. Everything is great. I am just really tired. It has been quite a day. How was yours?” I said trying to change the subject.
“It was great.”
“So could you tell me a little about what you were doing?” I asked.
“Well, it was nothing really. I was helping this man. He had just lost his wife and needed to be comforted.”
“So what did you do?”
“I gave him a dream. It was actually his wife who wanted my help. She needed to contact him and tell him she was doing fine, that he shouldn’t worry, and she was in a good place now, that it was okay for him to let her go. But since she is only in first year, she didn’t know how to use dreams. So she asked me for help the other day and I did. I caught his dream for her.”
“Why did she ask you?”
“Because I helped her when she died. I was the one who brought her here so she feels somehow connected to me. That happens.” He paused and grinned. “Do I detect a little jealousy?”
I didn’t answer his question, since I didn’t want to hurt him. I didn’t feel anything remotely like jealousy, but he didn’t have to know that. “What happened in the dream?”
“She showed herself to him in a place where they used to love being, and she helped him to understand. When he wakes up he will still think it was just a dream, but he will be filled with peace, he will have closure, and can move on.”
“That is really neat. I like that.”
Mick nodded with his mouth full. “That is just some of what makes being a spirit fun.” He paused before he continued. “So are you happy about your assignment?”
“I have no idea.” The potato finally ended on my fork and I put it in my mouth.
“What do you mean?” asked Mick, after drinking from his cup.
“Well, it’s just … really weird.”
“Third-year assignments usually are.”
I laughed, but was then serious. “I guess. Mine is just too easy. I don’t see what part is supposed to be hard.”
“Maybe you just haven’t figured that part out yet. What does it say about your assignment in the folder?”
“That I have to help this woman in her mid-forties get to the other side. I have to help her spirit get on the boat and arrive at the school.”
“When will she die?”
I shook my head. “I don’t know.”
Mick laughed. “Well maybe you should start by finding that out, silly.”
He was right. Why hadn’t I thought about that? At least I needed to know when this woman was about to die, so I could be there and fulfill my job.
“You’ve got a point. How do I do that?”
Mick laughed again. “You of all people should know that!” He looked at me like he was expecting me to have guessed it by now.
“No, I don’t. How?” As the words left my lips, I realized that I did know where I could get that information. I had tried it on the first year. “The book of meant-to-be,” I whispered.
That was the book that showed who was about to die and when. It was the same book that I had accidently peeked in during my first year here and discovered that Jason was about to die. I had decided to help him and had changed his destiny, in the intention of giving him a second chance. But I had ruined his life on earth instead. And now he’s coming anyway, I thought to myself and felt a tickling in my stomach. I looked at Mick with a twisted smile and hoped he didn’t suspect anything.
As I was thinking, I saw Mick’s face become serious, like he knew my thoughts. “How about I check out the date for you. I can go to the book and find the date. You don’t have to do everything yourself.”
“No, it is okay. I can do it.”
“Are you sure, because it is really no problem for me to check it for you. I have to look in the book anyway.”
“It’s okay. I can do it myself. This is my assignment and I want to do it all right.”
Mick became silent and I wondered what went through his mind. By the look on his face it was quite a lot. “It is really no problem.”
“Mick. I want to do some stuff on my own. I am a third-year student now. I will be graduating soon and I want to accomplish that by my own efforts, not your help. It’s very nice of you, but this is my job to do, okay? I have gotten this assignment to grow somehow, and that is what I intend to do.”
“Oh. Okay,” he said while staring distantly out in the air. “At least let me escort you there.”
“What is it you think will happen to me on my way through the corridors of this school?”
“I don’t know, but last year something did. We still have someone at the castle whom we can’t trust.”
“How do you even know they are still here?”
“I don’t know. I just sense it.”
That made me laugh. Not because it was funny; it was more in an insecure manner to kind of lighten up the conversation. Mick could be so serious sometimes especially about protecting me—and that scared me. I didn’t want to be afraid every day. And the only way I knew to keep fear away was to laugh at it. Either that or ignore it. “Okay. You can escort me. But I will go into the chamber alone. I want to do this by myself, remember? So you wait outside.”
Mick sighed. “I don’t like to leave you alone in there, but if it is the only way you will have it, then all right.”
Mick paused and smiled. The worried expression wasn’t all gone yet. I grabbed his hand and held it tight.
“So how are your feet?” he asked and looked down.
“They are fine. Don’t worry.” I answered.
He chuckled. “No chills?”
I sighed and looked at him. “I am not having cold feet, Mick.”
“I am glad to hear that.”
Knowing his story I knew he really meant that.
Chapter 8
It had been two years since I had last been in the
chamber. Nothing has changed since then, I thought. Except me. I entered and walked toward the huge stone table in the middle. On top of it lay the book of meant-to-be. It contained pictures of people dying and leaving earth. I took in a deep breath while the memories of Jason being beaten to death by his step-dad ran through my head, and I felt my heart race at the very thought.
As always the book was open, turned to the page showing the next person who was about to die and come to this school. The first one wasn’t anyone I knew, so I flipped a couple of pages and then I stopped. My breath caught in my throat. There he was. Once again I saw Jason’s last minutes in this book. This time he was older. He was walking in the street that looked like the area where I used to visit him back when he was a homeless drug addict. What was he doing there again?
He looked much better than the last time I had seen him, I was pleased to see. He wasn’t skinny anymore, but really fit and seemed to have been working out. He had become really handsome. His hazel-nut brown eyes no longer had that tired and worn-out empty look in them. They were so full of life. He looked like he was going somewhere, walking with a lot of strength.
Then suddenly three guys came from behind Jason. The one who appeared to be the leader had most of his face covered with a hood. They stopped Jason and pushed him into an alley. I hadn’t noticed this last time, but there was actually sound on the pictures. It was really low, but just loud enough for me to hear the guy in the hood say, “Didn’t I tell you that if you ever showed your ugly face in this neighborhood again, I would kill you?”
But Jason didn’t seem afraid of these three guys. He tried to force his way through them. “I have somewhere to be right now,” he said and started walking. That was when one of the guys pulled a knife and pressed it against Jason.
“What do you want from me?” he asked.
“You still owe me, man,” the guy in the hood said.
I recognized his voice. He was that drug dealer I had seen Jason with last year.
“I paid you everything,” said Jason. “We’re even.”
The drug dealer shook his head. “No we ain’t. Not until I say so, we ain’t. I helped you big time, now you help me. It’s payback time.”
Jason shook his head. “I am not doing anything for you.”
“Oh yes you are. You do what I tell you to.”
“Or what?”
The drug dealer looked at his friends. “Can you believe this guy?” Then he turned and looked at Jason while he pulled the knife to his throat. “Or I will kill you.”
Tears stung in my eyes and I put my hand to my mouth. I knew how this was going to end, or it wouldn’t be in the book. But still, this was brutal.
“Come on,” Jason said. “Let’s be reasonable. I have paid you what I owe you. I’m out of all this. I don’t do this anymore.”
The drug dealer was in Jason’s face now. “So you think you can just leave and then come waltzing in here on my street, in my ‘hood and think that everything is just a-okay?”
“I’m only passing through, going to visit someone. Just let me go.” Jason’s voice still seemed incredibly calm.
“Just passin’ through, huh?” The drug dealer laughed and looked at his friends. “He’s just passin’ through.” They all laughed.
“You know what? I don’t have any time for this,” Jason said and tried to leave.
The drug dealer stuck the knife under his nose. “If you walk out of here, I will kill you.”
“And if I don’t. If I stay?” Jason asked.
“Then you work for me. You owe me your loyalty. I was good to you once, when you needed it. I gave you drugs, man. You came to me beggin’ for it. Beggin’ for my mercy. I gave you some and you didn’t even pay. Now that is a true friend. And you don’t run out on friends like that. That makes them mad. You hear me?”
“So what you are telling me is that I have to sell drugs for you or you will kill me?”
“You owe me, man.”
Then Jason did something I had never expected. He laughed. He laughed out loud in their faces. “I am not afraid of you,” he said. “I am not afraid of dying. Do you know why? Because I know I am going to a much better place. So if my time is up, then it is up. There isn’t anything I can do about it. I have someone whom I love waiting for me on the other side. I haven’t seen her in years and I really miss her. So go ahead. I’m not falling for your tricks again. I’m not bringing other people into misfortune again. I’m clean and so is my consciousness.”
My heart stopped beating. Could he be talking about me? Did he finally remember me? I was in shock and had to hold onto the stone table. Had he been waiting for me to come back all these years?
“You ain’t leaving, I am telling you,” the drug dealer said. “I don’t buy all that Heaven-is-for-real-bull-shit you just pulled on me.”
“Well, I guess it’s up to you then,” said Jason. “I’m leaving now. I have somewhere to be.”
I knew it was coming, of course I did, but it still tore me apart from the inside to see it with my own eyes. The knife disappeared into Jason’s stomach and a shiver shot through me. I felt the tears piling up as I saw him fall to his knees while putting his hands to his abdomen. Then the drug dealer took out the knife and stabbed it into Jason’s chest. With a loud groan, Jason pitched forward and landed on his face on the wet ground.
“Let’s get out of here,” yelled the drug dealer. He and his friends disappeared as I watched the life run out of Jason.
The date written underneath the picture was four weeks from now.
It took a while for me to be able to let go of Jason’s page. It restarted and I almost came to the part where they stabbed him again before I flipped the page. I couldn’t bear to see it all again. But I did wait until he had spoken about me again. I had heard everything right. He couldn’t be talking about anyone else but me, could he?
I flipped through hundreds of pages until I reached to the woman from my folder. Rosey’s brown hair was a frizzy mess and looked like it had been neglected for years, just like in the photo I had seen in the folder. This day she had it pulled back in a ponytail. She wore a huge worn-out bathrobe, but her collarbones were showing, revealing a very thin body underneath. She walked slowly down a corridor, like she was sleepwalking. She had one hand in the pocket of the bathrobe. She walked into a small room with only a bed, a chest of drawers next to it, one chair, and a plastic flower arrangement in the window. Nothing on the walls except a small wooden cross above the door. I noticed the windows all had bars on them. Everything was very white: the walls, the floors, the furniture and even the door. She closed it behind her. Out of the pocket in the bathrobe she pulled a bottle of pills. She opened it and quickly swallowed all of the pills, while tears ran like a waterfall down her cheeks. Then she drank some water from a plastic cup next to her bed. When she was done she sat down on the bed with a sigh. From the top drawer she took a framed picture and looked at it intensely. Then more tears appeared while she hugged the photo. I felt my heart drop as she got into the bed and pulled up the covers and fell asleep with the picture between her hands. Slowly and peacefully, life oozed out of her.
I looked at the date. It wasn’t until this spring just before my graduation that this would happen. I had plenty of time to prepare for this assignment. I was supposed to go and get her after she had swallowed those pills, I guessed, while wondering who had been in the picture. Was it someone she loved? Someone she was leaving behind?
Heavy in my heart from all this, I left the chamber. Mick was waiting outside.
“So …?”
I sighed. “I don’t want to talk about it.” I threw myself in his arms and held him tight.
“Was it that bad? Will she die in a brutal death?”
I smelled Mick’s scent and tried to keep out that nagging feeling of guilt. “Who? … No, no, it is not that bad at all. She commits suicide and dies in her sleep. It is a very quiet death. Not messy at all,” I answered.
“So why
don’t you want to talk about it then?” asked Mick as we started floating back toward my dormitory. It was late and I really just wanted to get to bed. The pictures of Jason being stabbed flickered in my mind. I just couldn’t escape them. Neither could I escape what he had said. The fact that he might remember me changed everything. I looked at Mick who was trying so nicely to figure out why I was upset. He was always so sweet to me. I felt my stomach crumble. I had no idea what to do now.
“So when was it?” asked Mick.
I looked at him confused. “When was what?”
He grabbed my shoulder and made me turn my face toward him. “Hey. Where are your thoughts? You seem like you are in a totally different place.”
“I’m sorry. Seeing people die is just still really hard on me,” I said with a thick voice. I felt the tears piling up inside of me and I tried really hard to hold them back.
“Are you crying?” Asked Mick.
“No,” I said. I wasn’t but my eyes were moist.
“Why are you crying?”
“I am not. I really am not!” I said. Not that I didn’t want to cry in front of him, but I couldn’t tell him why I was caught up in my emotions. It wasn’t because I had seen Jason die or even the woman. It was out of confusion. I knew I either had to hurt Mick so badly I could never forgive myself, or I had to bury my feelings for Jason once and for all and not listen to my heart. I didn’t even know if that was possible. Could I marry Mick when I knew that Jason was coming here, expecting to find me? There would always be a what if? What if I didn’t marry Mick and instead waited for Jason? Could we have a future? Was I really meant to be with Jason? Was I making a huge mistake by marrying Mick?