Blaze: Devil's Nightmare MC: Book 11

by Lena Bourne

  “Get dressed,” the man right in front of the door says. His black eyes are pure fire as they land on me, and the look in them is as sharp as a knife. “You’re coming with us.”

  “No!” I choke out and climb out of bed, ready to stand between Blaze and these dark men.

  No one will take him from me. I only just found him.

  “Stay back, Misti,” Blaze says, but it’s the look in his eyes and not his words that stop me. “It’ll be fine.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure, Blaze,” another man says, earning his own sharp look from the man with the black eyes.

  “Blaze?” I say in a pleading voice, asking for guidance because I’m unsure what to do, what to say, what to think. Or what to feel. This scene is tearing my heart apart in fear and sadness because I’m sure I’ll never see him again and I can’t bear that thought.

  Blaze puts on his boots and grabs the jacket off the chair by the door.

  “I’m on my way home,” he tells the man with the black eyes. “I didn’t mean no harm to anyone.”

  “We’re not doing this here,” the man barks and makes a hand gesture, which sends another man into the room to grab Blaze’s arm and pull him outside. I wish I could run more than I ever wished I could. But instead, the door seems miles away as I sort of lurch towards it, the best I can do.

  “Don’t take him,” I yell pleadingly, but they’re already leading him away across the blinding sun-scorched parking lot. He’s looking back at me, but I can’t see his eyes because the sun is too bright.

  And then even that final look is obscured by a dark shadow filling the doorway.

  “Out of my way, I’m going too,” I tell the man and try to squeeze past him.

  “No, Misti,” Ace says. “You’re staying right here. Your sister is coming to get you.”

  I look up into his face, unsure whether I’m dreaming or it really is my sister’s man blocking my path. Not just my sister’s man, but Blaze’s MC brother. What is going on?

  “Where are they taking him?” I ask.

  He just shakes his head.

  “What’s going to happen to Blaze?” I ask, the words reluctant to leave my mouth.

  He shrugs. “That’s not for me to decide. But he shouldn’t have just left.”

  “He didn't want to, I made him take me on this road trip, it’s not his fault,” I blurt out. “Take me with you and I’ll tell them all that.”

  “You just go back into the room and wait for Stormi. She’ll be here soon.”

  “I want to go with you,” I protest.

  “No more of that, Misti,” he says sternly. “You’ve caused your sister enough worry as it is. Blaze knew what he was doing when he left, and he’s gotta face the music now. And so do you.”

  He takes a step back from the door and pulls it closed behind him. And I very much want to grab the knob and prevent him from doing it while knowing full well I have no chance of doing that.

  I’m absolutely certain he just closed the door on my one and only chance at happiness and adventure. And love. He did that just as surely as he shut out the bright, hot sun and left me in dimness, not unlike the dimness that was my everyday before Blaze came and lit it up. And I don’t want to know that.

  Blaze

  It was Rook, our Sergeant at Arms himself, who dragged me out of the motel room and then shoved me into the back of a waiting white van that smells of blood, sweat, and fear. My eyes were seared by the bright sunshine on that short trip across the parking lot, and now I see nothing but darkness. That’s not entirely true. I also see Misti’s round face and even rounder, fear-filled eyes. What the fuck did I do to her?

  What the fuck did I do to myself?

  I had no delusions that death didn’t wait for me at the end of our short road trip, but I didn’t expect to die before I got there.

  Especially not at the hands of my brothers, the men I’ve grown closer to than I ever was to my own family.

  You don’t leave your family. How many times do I gotta make that mistake, before I finally learn that? If I wasn’t such a fucking hot-headed idiot, I’d have learned it the first time.

  And you especially don’t just walk away from Devil’s Nightmare MC. I should’ve known that above all else.

  The van lit out of the parking lot and continued going fast over a bumpy road, but it’s already slowing. I have no illusions that I’ll ever see another sunset. And my only real regret is that I didn’t get a chance to say a better goodbye to Misti. Even in the darkness of the windowless cab of this van, her memory shines brighter than all the stars over the desert.

  I wish she could’ve guided me—guided us—to a better life. But there was never any hope of that in the first place. You can’t ever escape your fate. You can’t even outrun it for long. She knows that. I just hope she’ll accept that one day.

  18

  Misti

  After they all left, I sat on the hard-backed wooden chair by the window, staring out across the nearly empty parking lot. The pavement looked white in the scorching sunlight that only got brighter as the day progressed. They took his bike too. But left all his belongings. Including his saddlebags and his phone.

  And they made plans for me to be gone soon too.

  They don’t plan on releasing him.

  And every time knowing that gets too painful, I stare directly at the brightness until the pain of it drowns all my other thoughts.

  When Stormi, driving mom’s grey hatchback, finally pulls into the parking lot, I’m as empty as the cracked cocoon the butterfly leaves behind after it hatches and flies away to enjoy its beauty in the sun.

  That’s me. I flew away with Blaze.

  But this is also me. The sad girl dying by the window. Only I’m not dying from a malformed heart now. I’m dying from a broken one.

  Stormi sees me in the window the moment she steps out of the car. She looked for me by the window, because she knew that’s where she’d find me. I spent my whole life by my bedroom window. Or the living room window. Or a hospital window. Or just any window. Looking out at the world I was never actually a part of. The first time I was truly part of the world was on the road with Blaze. Getting kissed by Blaze. Making love to Blaze.

  “Open the door, Misti,” Stormi says, not unkindly, her voice coming loud and clear through the flimsy door.

  “It’s not locked,” I tell her. The fake leather cushion on it has stuck to the back of my bare thighs and the pain as I turn to face her feels like getting skinned alive. It barely registers against the pain in my heart.

  “Will they kill him?” I ask her as soon as she steps inside.

  Her face is very tight, but her eyes are liquid, as though she’s holding back tears.

  “I don’t know,” she says and closes the door behind her. “He shouldn’t have left. That’s all Ace told me.”

  “That’s all he told me too,” I say. “So the answer has to be, yes.”

  “Oh, Misti,” she sighs more than says and strides towards me. I back away from her hand as she tries to caress my face, and stand up.

  “He was going home to die. He as much as told me that. I thought I had time to convince him not to do it, but now this…”

  A cold tear trickles from my eye. I haven’t cried in a long time and I don’t think I’m going to now. I lost the ability to because if I gave in to it, I’d never stop.

  Stormi sighs again and takes my hand. This time I don’t pull away as she hugs me tightly.

  “You always try to help, even when it’s impossible,” she says, her voice muffled because her face is pressed against my shoulder.

  I push away from her. “What are you talking about? Of course I can help him. I think I’m the only one who can.”

  She nods sadly. “He’s the only one who can help himself. Blaze is a man, perfectly capable of making his own choices. He’s not a stray, abandoned kitten.”

  I pry her arms off, because I suddenly can’t stand being touched by her. “I know that! What? You thin
k I’ve mistaken him for a cat? What kind of thing to say is that?”

  I’m wheezing by the time I finish speaking and the world isn’t quite as vividly bright as it was. My heart is fluttering in my chest like a drowning person.

  “Calm down, Misti, that’s not what I meant,” Stormi says. “Come on, sit down.”

  She takes my arm and guides me to the bed, helping me sit and I let her.

  “I think I’m in love with him,” I mutter before she can lay it on any thicker.

  The pity in her eyes must be very evident, because I feel it as she looks at me without even meeting her eyes. Or maybe it was just all there in that sad, loud sigh that was her first reaction to my words.

  She sits down next to me and rubs my back gently. “It’ll all work out, you’ll see.”

  “I don’t think it will,” I say and move a little to signal I’m done hugging.

  She lets me go and takes a step back, her eyes searching my face intently.

  “How is your heart?” she asks after a while.

  “Not well,” I say and chuckle coldly.

  Her eyes grow wide in fear, the whiteness accentuated by a blood-red outline. She looks like she’s been crying and is about to start again.

  “You shouldn’t have gone on this road trip,” she says. “It’s made your condition worse.”

  I shake my head. “This road trip was the best thing I could’ve done. And I wish it wasn’t over yet.”

  “But it’s too strenuous,” she says.

  “I’ve had a few episodes, and each time I thought they’d floor me for good, but after a rest, I felt fine, like nothing had happened,” I tell her. “I think the operation worked, Stormi. I think my heart is going to be just fine. Unless Blaze ends up dead. Then I don’t know…”

  I can’t finish the sentence. It’s too much to think about it happening, let alone think about facing it.

  “Misti, I’m sorry this happened,” she says. “I really am. But he knew what he was doing and by the sound of things so did you.”

  “I wish we at least hugged and kissed before he was dragged away,” I say and just the look in her eyes tells me she knows exactly how I feel.

  How many times, while we were growing up, was I rushed to the hospital in the middle of the night and she stayed home, wishing this exact same thing, fearing she’d never see me again? That’s the fear I triggered in her by running away with Blaze. That’s why she’s been so worried and why she’s so happy she’s found me now. “Let’s go home,” she says. “We can do some sightseeing on the way.”

  She averts her eyes from my pointed gaze. I wish I could be glad her fears are now appeased and she has me back. But I started something with Blaze and it’s not finished yet. I hope.

  “I’m staying right here,” I say. “He might be back soon.”

  I can just see her struggle with finding the right thing to say. My sister never could keep anything hidden from me, no matter how hard she tried. I could keep things from her just fine. But only for her own good.

  “Alright, we’ll wait,” she says. “But let’s get some coffee and breakfast.”

  She smiles as I nod. For the moment I’ll ignore the tight look in her eyes as she checks her phone for calls. I bet she knew I wouldn’t just leave with her right away. She probably has a deal with Ace to tell her exactly when waiting for Blaze becomes pointless.

  I’m sick to my stomach from the thought as I dress hastily, take my pills and follow her into the bright sunshine outside.

  I hope her phone never rings and that’s just about the only thought I can stand to think right now.

  Blaze

  It never ceases to amaze me just how many safe houses and derelict, abandoned places Devil’s Nightmare MC has to conduct business in across the country. The place they brought me to was once a farm, as far as I can tell. The odor of cattle still permeates the squat, rough concrete structure Rook dragged me into, and patches of hay are still on the ground. There’s no actual cow shit, even though the whole place smells like it, and I’m glad for that.

  Rook shoved me into one of the stalls and shut a gleaming new metal door behind me, leaving me in complete darkness. He didn’t take his bandana off and he didn’t answer any of my questions. Not that I asked many. Most of them were about what’s gonna happen with Misti. There’s nothing much else to ask. I fucked up and now I’m gonna pay the price.

  Time has no meaning for me. The only way I can relatively reliably tell some has passed is that the stench of animals isn’t as sharp anymore. All I still see is Misti, her pale skin glowing in the moonlight, her long bare legs washed in the pale orange light of the fire. She looked like some otherworldly goddess as she stripped for me last night and let me have her. Maybe giving me that gift was the sum total of her role in my life. One last taste of wonder, of beauty before it’s all over.

  At least I got to taste her before she was taken away. And she tasted like the cleanest, freshest, coolest water. Clean and sharp and so invigorating I forgot I was a man marked for death.

  It’s almost fitting I’ll now die in this stinking barn, which is the exact opposite of that.

  The door opens and even the little light that comes in blinds me. Another sign I’ve been in here for quite some time. But the light is quickly obscured by Scar’s towering bulk. He never wears a bandana on jobs like the rest of us do, since that nasty scar on his face is legendary and sends a clear message to whoever sees it that it’s the last thing they’ll see. Probably after a great deal of pain. Scar is also in charge of torturing people we need information from.

  I stand up to face him, because while his presence does fill me with fear, I’m not about to go out like a coward.

  “It’s my fault the explosions happened, but I didn’t set the bombs,” I say. “I’ll still take my punishment for them.”

  “That’s good to hear,” Cross says harshly as he follows Scar into the room. Hawk is right behind him. “But I have a couple of questions first.”

  Even in the dim light filtering in through the open door, his eyes are glowing. Like two patches of dark water in moonlight—just as deep and just as dead.

  “The men who set the bombs were friends of yours,” Cross says. “Did you know why they were coming? Did you help them set it up?”

  I shake my head. “Absolutely not. I knew they were coming, but I had no intention of meeting them when they did. They’re not my friends anymore. Most of them never were.”

  I don’t know why I’m talking like I still expect to survive this conversation. But despite being totally ready to meet my maker, I don’t want to go out knowing Cross thinks I’ve betrayed him. I haven’t. I never would.

  “Why did you run if you had nothing to do with it?” he asks harshly.

  Here it is, the moment of truth.

  “They’d never have come to do this thing, if I wasn’t with you,” I say. “I take full responsibility for that. These men, the members of Snakeskins MC have been after me and my family since before I was born. I was an idiot for thinking they wouldn’t follow me somehow, some way wherever I went. Our brothers’ deaths are on my head. Even though I didn’t set the bombs, I might as well have.”

  I’m kinda repeating myself, but I need them to know this before they kill me. Hawk and Scar both gasped as I said what I said, but Cross didn’t even flinch.

  “I’m not looking for the morally guilty men here, just the ones who actually attacked us,” Cross snaps. “You were told to stay in Vegas. Why did you leave?”

  “Because I’m going back home to get as much revenge on the Snakeskins as I can before I die,” I say. “Which I don’t expect to take very long. They killed my uncle while I was away and now they killed six of my MC brothers, in addition to the two blood brothers I lost before I ever joined you. I should’ve taken my revenge a long time ago, and I’m doing it now.”

  “Eight brothers,” Scar says in a gruff voice. “Eight are now dead.”

  “It’s the same story Colt told
,” Hawk says. “I don’t think he left because of a guilty conscience. Plus, he took that sick girl with him—”

  “Where’s Misti? She can’t get back home on her own,” I say.

  “Someone’s picking her up,” Cross says. “You just worry about yourself for now. You shouldn’t have. Those rules are clear.”

  I know what he’s saying, and I’m not ready to die. That knowledge hits me like a bolt of lightning, electrifying and hotter than hell. The fire that always burns in my chest, that same fire that’s let me go on even after all the death I’ve seen is burning so bright I have trouble breathing because of it.

  “I’m ready, Cross,” I say anyway, because it’s time to be a man. “I know I did wrong by you and the MC and I’ll answer for it. But betraying you, any of you, was never what I wanted and I want you to know that. I was born cursed, just like every other member of my family. I was an idiot for trying to escape it and I’ve brought good men down with me. I’ll answer for that. And I’ll answer for running away like a hot-headed boy. I’m ready.”

  Even Cross isn’t looking at me quite as sharply as he was after all that spills from my mouth. I don’t even know where it’s coming from. I guess it’s the closest to a confession I’ll ever get to make.

  My grandmother didn’t believe in any one God, but she did believe you must unburden yourself before you draw your last breath. She told me this often. I hope Reggie got his chance to do it before he died. I’m not sure my brothers did.

  And I hope they all get avenged. But I’m clearly not gonna be the one to do it, and it’s OK. The feud will live on. Eventually, it’s gonna avenge us both and more besides.

  Cross just stares at me, so deeply I feel his gaze burning holes straight into my brain. Why does he even need a torturer if he can read minds like this?

  “I’ll give you another chance,” he finally says. “You’ve proven your worth to the MC in the past and I don’t want to believe you betrayed us. But you do exactly as I order from now on.”