A Time to Love

by Al Lacy

  I’ll be glad when the kid is born and this ordeal is over, Janet thought. I hate being fat and ungainly. I want to get on with my life, and this kid has no part in it.

  After lying there a while, Janet carefully rolled off the bed, undressed herself, and slipped into a comfortable nightgown. Her feet and ankles were somewhat swollen, and it felt good to remove her shoes and stockings and wiggle her toes.

  Back on the bed, she plumped up the pillows against the headboard and tried to settle herself comfortably against them. She picked up the book she’d been reading and opened it to a dog-eared page that marked the spot where she’d left off.

  Soon there was a tap on her door, and Linda’s voice said, “Okay if I come in, Janet?”

  “Sure,” Janet called. “Come on in.”

  “How is everything?”

  “Quiet at the moment.”

  “Anything I can get you?”

  “No. I’m fine.”

  “Okay. If you need me, give a holler.”

  Linda stepped into the hall, and Janet listened to her footsteps fading away.

  After reading for a few minutes, her eyes grew heavy. She turned down the corner of a page and laid the book on the nightstand, then slid down under the covers. The lamp on the nightstand was still burning as she slipped into a light sleep.

  Suddenly Janet sat bolt upright in bed, gasping. She grabbed her protruding midsection and emitted a low moan. The pain slowly subsided, and she lay back down.

  All was well for a few minutes. She was about to drift back to sleep when the pain shot through her again. After a series of sharp pains, Janet gingerly worked her way to the side of the bed and swung her feet over the edge. Another pain hit her. She ejected a grunting sound and clutched her midsection. When the pain had passed, she struggled to push herself to a standing position.

  When she was on her feet, she headed for the door, hanging on to pieces of furniture for support. Wrestling the door open, she braced herself on the door frame and weakly called, “Linda!”

  The house was quiet, and the hall was dimly lit by a lamp on a small table near the stairs.

  When there was no response, Janet groped her way along the wall in the direction of the master bedroom and called again, “Linda-a-a!”

  Suddenly the door of the master bedroom came open, and Linda appeared, donning her robe. She rushed to Janet and put an arm around her. “Have you gone into labor?”

  A pain hit as Janet nodded.

  Blake’s voice came from the open door. “Linda … anything I can do?”

  “Yes!” she called over her shoulder. “Go get Dr. Martin! Come on, Janet, let’s get you back in the bed.”

  Because of the pains, it was a slow process to get Janet to her bed-room. They heard Blake pound down the stairs just as Linda placed the pillows under her sister’s head.

  Another spasm shot through Janet, and Linda held her hand and brushed a wet lock of hair from her forehead as she let out a moan.

  “Even though this is your first baby,” Linda said softly, “your contractions are quite close together already. Maybe you’ll have a quick delivery.”

  “I … hope … so,” Janet said through her teeth. “I want … to … get this … over with.”

  Soon the pains were coming one right after the other. Linda was about to prepare herself to be a midwife when she heard male voices downstairs.

  Dr. Martin hurried through the bedroom door and placed his black medical bag on the dresser. “How’s it going, Mrs. Barrett?”

  “There’s hardly any time between pains,” Linda replied. “I think she’s about to deliver.”

  “Anything else I can do?” Blake asked.

  “How about bringing up some hot water?” said Dr. Martin.

  “Hot water coming up!”

  “I’ll get some towels, Doctor,” Linda said, and hurried into the hall.

  Janet was not a cooperative patient, but the kindly doctor did all he could to assure her that everything was fine.

  Linda returned with the towels, and shortly thereafter, Blake came with the hot water. Once it was deposited on the dresser, he quickly disappeared.

  Linda stayed with the doctor to help, and in just under two hours, a healthy, red-faced, beautiful little boy was delivered. Dr. Martin gave him a solid pop on the posterior, and he took in his first breath, followed by a high-pitched wail.

  Linda announced to Janet that it was a boy, but the new mother didn’t respond. Linda quickly cleaned Janet up and put her in a fresh gown while the doctor examined the baby from head to toe.

  When the baby was all bundled up in a tiny blanket, Dr. Martin stood over Janet, smiling. “Here’s your little son, Mrs. Carter. I know you want to hold him.”

  Shaking her head, Janet said, “Not right now, Doctor. I … I’m very tired. I need to go to sleep.”

  Dr. Martin turned his shocked face to Linda. He had never experienced a mother who wasn’t eager to hold her newborn.

  Linda shrugged, displayed open hands, and took the baby from the doctor. She moved about the room, baby in arms, and immediately lost her heart to the precious bundle of love. She caressed his fat little cheek and smiled as he reached up a tiny fist and tried to put it in his mouth, making a loud sucking sound.

  “Well, goodness, little one,” she said, tracing a fingertip across his brow, “are you hungry already? Auntie Linda will wake your mommy up if that’s the case.”

  Dr. Martin let a grin curve his mouth. “I’d say he’s probably more tired than hungry, Mrs. Barrett. It’s pretty taxing on a little fella to come into the world.”

  “All right,” Linda said. “Let’s see if I can get him to sleep.”

  While the doctor checked the sleeping Janet one more time, and cleaned up his instruments and put them away, Linda gently rocked the baby in her arms and crooned to him. Soon he was asleep. She laid him in his cradle, covered him with another blanket, and stood looking down at him with tender eyes.

  Blake appeared at the door. “Everything all right?” he asked.

  “Just fine,” said the doctor. “There’s a new little boy in the world.”

  “A boy! So that will make him William Nolan Carter, if Janet sticks to what she said she’d name the baby if it was a boy.”

  “I think she will,” said Linda, leaving the cradle to go to her husband. “Since I suggested he be named after his maternal grandfather.”

  Dr. Martin had been brought to the Barrett house by Blake. He closed his medical bag and said, “Well, if my ride is ready, I’ll let you take me home, Mr. Barrett.”

  Blake glanced toward the cradle, then looked at Linda. “Can I take a look at him?”

  “He’s asleep, darling,” she said. “You take Dr. Martin home first. The little guy will be awake after a while, then you can get a good look at him.”

  When Blake returned, Linda met him in the kitchen.

  “Is he awake yet?” Blake asked.

  “No, but let’s go up so we’ll be there when he does wake up. He’ll be hungry, so you can get a look at him; then I’ll wake Janet up to feed him.”

  Blake and Linda quietly entered Janet’s room. The mother was still asleep. Linda took her husband’s hand and led him to the cradle. At that moment, the baby began to fuss.

  “See?” Linda said, reaching down to pick him up. “I told you he’d be hungry.”

  A big smile lit up Blake’s face as he got a close view of the wee one. “He’s a dandy boy, isn’t he?”

  “That he is.” Linda reached inside the blanket. “He … ah … he’s wet. I’ll have to change him.”

  Janet rolled her head on the pillows and moaned.

  “I think she’s waking up,” said Linda.

  “It’s time for me to vacate the room,” Blake whispered, heading for the door. “I’ll see you later.”

  Linda smiled as she watched her husband leave the room, then laid the baby on the side of the bed. While she changed his diaper, he wiggled and thrashed his arms and legs ab
out. His little gown was also wet. When she’d changed it and he was dry again, she rewrapped him in his blanket.

  Suddenly the baby let out a lusty yell, and Janet moaned again as she opened one eye to see what was happening.

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, Janet,” Linda said, “but I think your son is hungry. You’re the only one who can handle that.”

  Janet gave the baby a grudging look and said, “I guess you’re right about that.” She took the baby and pulled him close but didn’t even look at him as she nursed. Instead she stared around the room and periodically closed her eyes.

  In the quietness of the moment, Linda sat down on a chair next to the bed and said, “So, are you going to give him the name I suggested?”

  Janet set dull eyes on her sister. “What was it?”

  “You know, William Nolan, after Daddy.”

  “I don’t care.”

  “He’s your son, Janet,” said Linda. “You ought to care!”

  “Good enough.”

  “William Nolan Carter?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Okay. Daddy will like that. So we’ll call him Billy, okay?”

  Janet nodded silently.

  “Janet, you haven’t even looked at little Billy. He’s a beautiful boy.”

  “I’m tired,” Janet said.

  Linda couldn’t believe the lack of enthusiasm her sister was showing toward the child she’d carried under her heart for nine months. Rising from the chair, she said, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  Some twenty minutes had passed when Linda returned to Janet’s room. She was shocked to see Janet lying on her side with her back to the baby. She picked up a contented Billy and said, “Do you want me to take him to our room?”

  Janet shrugged. “Do as you like.”

  Linda had to bite her tongue to keep from lighting into her sister. She placed her little nephew in the cradle, picked it up, and headed for the door, pausing to say, “I’ll have to wake you when he’s hungry again.”

  Janet made a muffled grunt and rolled onto her other side.

  When Linda reached the master bedroom, she gave the partially open door a shove with her foot, and it swung open.

  Blake looked up from the book he was reading and laid it aside, hurrying to take the cradle from Linda’s arms.

  “I almost had to pry it out of her, Blake, but he’s William Nolan Carter—Billy for short.”

  “What do you mean, ‘pry it out of her’?”

  “Just that. She doesn’t care one bit for this precious baby. I asked her if she was going to take my suggestion for his name, and she couldn’t even remember what it was. When I reminded her, she said she didn’t care. Blake, I’ve never seen a mother so uncaring about her child. She wouldn’t even look at him when she was nursing him. I don’t know what’s wrong with her.”

  “She’s a strange one, I’ll say that. Hard to believe she’s your sister.”

  As he spoke, Blake leaned over the cradle and took a small fist loosely in his own large hand. The baby wiggled his fist out of Blake’s palm and wrapped his tiny fingers around his thumb.

  “Would you look at this, Linda? He’s already got a strong grip.”

  “Of course he has,” she said, picking the baby up. “He’s Auntie Linda’s big strong boy.” She looked toward a small table in the corner. “Darling, would you hand me that towel over there by the washbowl?”

  “Sure.” As Blake picked up the towel, he said, “What are you doing?”

  “I’m going to burp him. I’m sure Janet didn’t bother to do it.”

  She raised Billy up to her shoulder and gently rubbed and patted his back until the required burp was forthcoming.

  Blake chuckled. “He even belches like a he-man.”

  Linda giggled. She held the baby close to her breast and began rocking him in her arms while moving about the floor.

  Blake eyed her with admiration, thinking, She’d make a wonderful mother!

  As Linda continued to walk and rock Billy, Blake went back to his book. Soon the baby’s blue eyes grew heavy and eventually closed. Linda kissed his downy head and laid him in his cradle. Turning to Blake, she said, “Bedtime, Uncle Blake.”

  Soon the lamp was extinguished, and Linda released a long sigh as Blake crawled in beside her.

  Blake took her in his arms in the darkness and said, “You want to talk about it?”

  “About what?”

  “That big sigh. What’s behind it?”

  She swallowed hard. “Oh, Blake … it’s just that I don’t understand why God would give Janet that precious baby when she doesn’t even want him. And yet He’s withheld a child from us, and we so desperately want one. Poor little Billy isn’t going to be raised in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, but if he was our little boy he would. Why, Blake? I don’t mean to be critical of the Lord. I just don’t understand.”

  Blake kissed her ear in the dark and said, “Sweetheart, some questions just don’t have answers this side of heaven. Our loving heavenly Father knows our hearts and how we would love to have our very own children. He also has a plan for our lives, and He knows what’s best for us. In His holy wisdom, and in His own time, He will give us what’s best.”

  “I know He will,” she said in a whisper. “I don’t mean to question His wisdom. I guess the weak, human side of me takes over sometimes.” She was quiet for a moment, then said, “I’m already in love with that little boy, and I’m dreading the day Janet packs him up and takes him away. I have a strong notion she isn’t going to stay in Stockton.”

  “Yeah, me too. The little guy has already crawled down into my heart. We’ll just have to trust the Lord to give us strength when Janet takes him away from here.”

  Linda sniffed.

  “Aw, honey,” Blake said, pulling her closer, “you’re crying.”

  “Blake, you know I love the Lord with all my heart … and I trust Him to do what’s right and best for us.”

  “I know you do, darlin’. Let’s talk to Him about it right now.” Blake led them in prayer, asking the Lord for grace, guidance, and encouragement.

  When he finished, Linda kissed him and said, “You’re the most wonderful man in this world, Blake Barrett.”

  “I fall a long way short of that, my love,” he said, “but as long as you think so, what else matters?” Mr. and Mrs. Blake Barrett snuggled close together, and the Lord of heaven gave them peace and sweet rest.

  In the days that followed, Janet Carter feigned illness so she wouldn’t have to do more than feed her little son. Dr. Martin came to the house, and Janet convinced him she was weak and dizzy. He prescribed total bed rest for at least two weeks.

  Linda waited on her sister hand and foot, while also taking care of her little nephew. One day, when Janet awakened after a long nap, Linda told her she’d written to their parents to let them know of Billy’s birth, and of the name he’d been given.

  Janet angrily told Linda she shouldn’t have done that without asking her.

  Shocked at Janet’s reaction, Linda told her that Billy’s grandparents had a right to know he was born.

  Janet sulked for a day or so, but finally let it go.

  When the two-week period was over, Janet still feigned weakness and dizzy spells. Dr. Martin was again consulted, and he told Janet she would have to rest for a couple of months before she could get a job.

  Blake and Linda accepted the doctor’s word, and because of their love for Billy and their desire to keep him under their roof as long as possible, they assured Janet she could stay until she felt up to getting a job and finding her own place.

  Little Billy was a very good baby and seldom cried. His bright blue eyes were focusing better, and he stared with contentment at Blake and Linda when they held him, played with him, and talked to him.

  He began to put on weight, and his fat little cheeks resembled rosy apples. He was the picture of health.

  Linda kept encouraging Janet to hold Billy and care for him, but it was
quite evident that apart from feeding her son, she wanted nothing to do with him.

  Both Barretts lavished their love and attention on Billy, and once in a while an errant thought would push its way into Linda’s mind. I love him so much … why can’t he be mine? She would quickly ask the Lord to forgive her, and to help her wait on Him to provide their adoptive child. So far, there had been no word from any of the doctors.

  One day when Blake was at work and Linda was outside doing yard work, Janet sat down in the master bedroom where the cradle was kept, to feed the baby.

  Billy was crying as she picked him up. “That’s enough of that bawling,” Janet said curtly. “C’mon. Let’s get you fed.”

  The baby had hardly started to nurse when he began to fuss.

  “Cut out the bawling, kid!” Janet snapped. “Go on! Eat!”

  Billy’s normally happy little face turned red as he cried, and he repeatedly kicked and drew up his legs. His little hands were curled into fists as he thrashed them around.

  Finally Janet had all she was going to take. She jumped up and stomped to the cradle, saying, “All right, young man, if you’re gonna act like that, you can just go hungry!” and put him in the crib none too gently.

  Billy wailed and cried at the top of his voice.

  Outside, Linda could hear Billy. When he had been crying for nearly half an hour, she laid down her yard tools and went into the house. Inside, she could hear that Billy’s crying had a different tone than usual, and she hurried up the stairs and practically ran down the hall to the master bedroom.

  As she picked up the baby and held him close, she could feel his little legs drawing up and kicking. “What’s the matter, honey?” she said. “Your tummy hurt? Where’s your mother?”

  “Janet!” she called as she went down the hall toward Janet’s room. The door was closed.

  “Yeah?” came a muffled reply.

  Linda opened the door to find Janet sitting in her overstuffed chair, reading. Moving into the room, Linda blurted out, “Have you fed him?”

  “I tried. All he did was bawl and fuss, so I put him back in his cradle.”