A Time to Love

by Al Lacy

  Linda’s heart was banging against her ribs. Lewis Carter had every right to take Billy from them.

  Billy complied by holding his arms toward Lewis and saying, “Unca Woois ho’d Billy.”

  Lewis took him in his arms and rose to his feet, holding him close. There were tears in his eyes as he laid his head next to Billy’s.

  Blake and Linda looked on, heartsick.

  As he set Billy on his feet, an openly emotional Lewis said, “I’ve got to think this situation over. I want to thank both of you for what you’ve done for my son. You’ve been wonderful to him. I’m sorry Janet turned out to be such a horrible mother. I … I’ll be going now.”

  Linda stayed with Billy while Blake walked Lewis to the door.

  Lewis stepped out on the porch and said, “Blake, I really mean it. I’m so grateful for what you and Linda have done for Billy. I’ll never forget it.” With that, he walked off the porch and headed up the lane toward the road.

  When Blake returned to the parlor, Linda was on the sofa with Billy in her arms. Tears were streaming down her cheeks. “Mommy cwy,” said Billy. “Mommy cwy.”

  Blake sat down beside them and said, “Honey, only the Lord will be able to keep Lewis from taking Billy with him when he leaves here. Pray with me about it.”

  They both put their hands on Billy as they bowed their heads.

  “Lord,” said Blake, “You know our hearts, and You know what’s going on in them right now. You also know what Lewis is feeling. We both want what’s right for Billy, Lord. And as far as Linda and I can see, this precious child would be far better off with us than with Lewis as things stand right now. Billy needs a mother. We would love to see Lewis find Janet, and we’d love to see her saved. But unless that happens, Janet isn’t going to be a fit mother … ever.

  “We can’t wish Billy to be with her the way she is. And if Lewis is even able to find Janet, what about Billy during the time he’s trying to get her saved? And if Janet never gets saved, then what? Lord Jesus, it isn’t right that this little guy has to grow up without a mother’s love and care. Please keep Your hand on Billy. We don’t want to be selfish, but we do want what’s best for him.”

  Suddenly, Linda burst into sobs. This startled Billy, and he began to cry. She quickly stifled the sobs, not wanting to frighten him.

  He whimpered for a moment anyway, but soothing words from both Blake and Linda caused him to stop crying.

  “Honey,” Blake said, “we’ve got to trust the Lord in this. When I was in prison and you were married to Haman, it all looked pretty bad. But the God who put Romans 8:28 in the Bible got me out of prison and let us be together. We must trust Him in this crisis, too.”

  “I know, darling,” she said, wrapping the little boy tighter in her arms. “I know.”

  That night, Linda lay awake after Blake had fallen asleep. Moving her lips soundlessly, she said, “Dear Lord, would You give us this precious child only to take him away from us? I don’t think I can bear the pain of it.”

  Even as she prayed, Linda felt the physical pain that heartache brings.

  The next day, Linda was doing some light yard work while Billy played on the lawn nearby. She heard the familiar rattle of the mail delivery wagon and watched it roll down the lane.

  She walked to where the mailbox stood and smiled at the driver, who had only been her mail delivery man for a few weeks. “Hello, Mr. Forbes. How are you today?”

  “Just fine, ma’am,” said the elderly gentleman, tipping his hat. “And how’s that husky boy of yours?”

  “Billy’s doing wonderfully.”

  “That’s what I like to hear.”

  Forbes reached into a wooden box next to him and lifted up a small bundle of mail tied with a string. “Here you go, ma’am. Didn’t you tell me you’re originally from Boston, Massachusetts?”

  “Yes, I did,” Linda said, accepting the bundle.

  “There’s a letter in there from Boston, in case you’d like to start with it. You’ll notice I put it right on top.”

  Linda glanced down at the return address. Looking back at Forbes, she said, “Thank you. The Forrests are my parents.”

  “Oh. Well, I’m sure you’re eager to read the letter, so I’ll be on my way. Good day to you.”

  “Same to you, Mr. Forbes.”

  The old gentleman waved at the little boy. “Bye, Billy! Take good care of your pretty mother!” With that, he snapped the reins and drove away.

  Linda went to the porch, untied the string, and laid the rest of the mail down. She tore open the envelope and began reading her mother’s handwriting:

  July 14, 1882

  Dearest Linda and Blake,

  I hope this letter finds you and Billy well and happy.

  I wish there weren’t any bad news in the world, but then it would be heaven, wouldn’t it?

  Daddy and I just learned that Janet is dead. She was working as a saloon girl in a place on the Barbary Coast in San Francisco. Two men were arguing over her, and a gun was drawn. There was a struggle, and the gun went off. The bullet hit your sister in the stomach.

  She was taken to a hospital and lived long enough to give a nurse our name and address.

  Daddy and I were so upset when the news came, but the Lord has eased our pain and given us peace in our hearts in spite of it, as I know He’ll do the same for you.

  Hope little Billy is doing well. Give him a big hug and kiss from Grandma and Grandpa.

  Write soon.

  Love,

  Mom

  Linda made her way to a chair on the porch, sat down, and wept. There was no question that Janet had died without Christ.

  As she thought of her sister, her mind went to Lewis. Would knowledge of Janet’s death cause Lewis to be drawn even more to Billy? If so, he might decide to take the boy with him when he left Stockton. She asked for the Lord’s will to be done, then put her attention on Billy, who was now at the porch steps and starting to climb.

  Blake stood in the kitchen that evening and read the letter. “Well, she’s beyond our prayers now,” he said, shaking his head.

  “Janet had every chance to be saved, darling,” Linda said. “She stubbornly chose to go the wrong way.”

  “Mm-hmmm. Like a multitude of other people in this world.”

  “What I fear now is that when we tell Lewis Janet is dead, he’ll want all the more to take Billy with him.”

  Blake nodded. “Could be. But Janet was his wife, Linda. He has a right to know. It would be wrong to withhold it from him.”

  Linda closed her eyes and sighed. “You’re right. We have to tell him. But let’s pray hard about it before we do.”

  At bedtime—after little Billy was fast asleep—Blake and Linda knelt beside their bed.

  “You go first, honey,” he said.

  With their arms about each other, they bowed their heads.

  “Dear Lord,” Linda prayed, “You have been pressing 1 Peter 5:7 to my heart ever since that letter came this morning. ‘Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.’ Blake and I know You care for us, Lord Jesus. You went to the cross for us. You suffered, bled, and died for us. You allowed both of us to hear Your gospel, and because we believed and obeyed Your gospel, we’re saved. Such love is beyond our understanding, but we praise You for it. Help us both to cast all our care upon You in this trial through which we’re passing.

  “Help us not to stand in the way of Your working it out for our good and for Your glory. Please do what is best for little Billy, who has come to mean so much to both of us.”

  At this point, Linda was weeping so hard she couldn’t continue. Blake hugged her close to his side and took up the prayer. As with Linda, he asked for God’s will to be done and for God to get the glory in whatever way He saw fit to handle the delicate situation concerning Billy and his real father.

  When Blake said amen, he turned to Linda and saw a smile of perfect peace beaming from her face.

  “Blake, darling,” she said, �
��it’s in God’s capable hands. May His will be done.”

  The next day was Saturday. Blake was at the hayloft, forking hay into the feed trough for the horses, when he heard the animals nicker. He looked down to see Lewis come through the barn door.

  Blake paused with the pitchfork in hand and looked over the edge of the loft.

  “Hi, Blake,” said Lewis. “The ol’ pest is back.”

  “You’re not a pest,” Blake said amiably

  “I saw the barn door open and figured you’d be out here.”

  “I’ll be done in just a minute, Lewis.”

  “Okay. I’ll wait.”

  While Blake finished forking the hay down, Lewis said, “Billy all right?”

  “Just fine.”

  Blake didn’t know if Lewis had come to a decision about Billy, but one thing he was sure of, the news of Janet’s death was going to hit him hard.

  Moments later, the two men headed for the house.

  “We got a letter from Linda’s folks yesterday,” Blake said.

  “Everything all right back there?”

  “Well … yes. Both of them are fine.”

  “I don’t suppose they’ve heard from Janet.”

  “They didn’t hear from Janet, but they did get word about her.”

  “Oh? What was that?”

  “Linda’s planning on letting you read the letter. She’s doing some housecleaning upstairs. Let’s go find her.”

  When they topped the stairs, Blake called out, “Sweetheart, Lewis is here! Where are you?”

  “In Billy’s room!” came her reply.

  Before they reached the door to Billy’s room, Linda stepped into the hall and headed for the master bedroom. “Hello, Lewis,” she said. “I have something to show you.”

  “The letter from your folks?” he asked. “Or something in addition to that?”

  Linda stopped abruptly and looked at Blake with wide eyes.

  “I only mentioned the letter, honey. I thought it best that he read it for himself.”

  “Oh. All right,” she said. “Blake, would you bring Billy, please? I think it would be best if we sit down in the parlor. I’ll get the letter and meet you down there in a couple of minutes.” She then disappeared into the master bedroom.

  The men had just reached the parlor when they heard Linda’s footsteps on the stairs. When she entered the room, Billy was in Lewis’s arms. She handed the letter to Lewis and said, “I’ll take Billy. It’s best that you sit down.”

  Lewis gave her a quizzical look. To Blake he said, “Is this some kind of bad news?”

  “I’m afraid so. Please sit down.”

  When Lewis was seated in an overstuffed chair facing the couch, Blake took his place beside Linda and Billy.

  The Barretts watched with heavy hearts as Lewis removed the letter from the envelope. He glanced at them apprehensively, then began reading. All of a sudden his features turned white, then took on the hue of old stone. “Oh, no!” he cried. “She’s dead! My Janet’s dead!”

  He bent over and buried his face in his hands and mumbled some words Blake and Linda couldn’t understand, but they were able to distinguish the grief he felt.

  Billy stared at his Uncle Lewis, wondering what was wrong with him.

  Blake’s firm hand was on Lewis’s shoulder when Lewis brought his emotions under control. Sniffing, he looked up and said, “Thank you for the strength of that hand, Blake. Thank you.”

  “Nothing else I could do for you, my friend. Linda and I have prayed for you, I guarantee you that.”

  “I’m sure you have. And I appreciate your concern.” Then to Linda he said, “You’ve got to be hurting, too. She was your sister, and I know that in spite of all she did, you still loved her.”

  Linda nodded. “I was deeply hurt when the two of you ran off together, and I was very bitter toward both of you. I tried to hate you, but I couldn’t. I never stopped loving Janet. And the thing that hurts the most is that she won’t be in heaven. I’ll never see her again.”

  Lewis sighed and put the letter back in the envelope, then stood up. Laying the envelope on the coffee table, he said, “I’d better be going. I’ve got a lot to think about.”

  “Will you be going back east, Lewis?” Linda asked.

  “Probably … that’s home. I’ve got to consider Billy in all of this.”

  Linda’s pulse quickened, but she immediately told herself to calm down. She and Blake had placed Billy in God’s hands, and she must leave him there.

  During the next few days, Lewis went through his own private agony as he diligently sought God’s will concerning Billy. He went by the Barrett home every evening to see Billy and spend time with him.

  With each visit, tension mounted for Blake and Linda. Every night they prayed hard, asking God to do what was right for Billy, even if it meant giving him up. If the Lord would choose to let Lewis take Billy with him, they knew they would need the comfort and strength of the Holy Spirit in great measure.

  Lewis’s emotions were up and down as he prayed about Billy. Sometimes he became so upset that he actually felt ill.

  By Friday night, after wrestling with the matter all week, he fell on his knees beside his bed. After some two hours of soul-searching prayer, he had the answer.

  He rose to his feet and said, “All right, Lord. I’ve come to love little Billy so very much in these past weeks. It’s going to be the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but he’s my son, and what’s best for him must come first. I’ll do what You’ve told me to do.”

  24

  THE NEXT DAY, A SATURDAY, Lewis Carter arrived at the Barrett house midmorning. When he came into the house, Blake and Linda could tell he was under a great deal of emotional strain.

  Lewis asked if he could play with Billy on the lawn for a while, and the Barretts sat on the front porch, watching the two of them together.

  When Lewis first started romping on the grass with his little son, he felt his resolve weakening. “Help me, Lord,” he prayed in his heart. “I can do all things through You. This is the toughest chore I’ve ever faced in my life. This precious child is my own flesh and blood, but I know I can’t give him the home and family the Barretts can. Lord, You helped me make this most difficult decision … please give me the grace and strength to see it through.”

  As Blake and Linda watched Lewis, Linda said, “Blake, do you suppose he’s made up his mind?”

  “I don’t know, honey, but he looks like he hasn’t slept too well.”

  They had to smile when they saw Lewis down on all fours playing horsey, with Billy on his back giggling and squealing for joy.

  After about an hour of romping with his two-year-old son, Lewis carried him up to the porch, puffing from exertion, and said, “Whew! This little bronco rider will wear a fella out in a hurry!”

  Linda had brought some lemonade from the kitchen, and she handed Lewis a cool glass and said, “Maybe this will help.”

  He put Billy down and drank the lemonade in a few gulps.

  Linda sat down and pulled Billy onto her lap.

  While Billy drank lemonade from a small glass, Lewis said, “I’ve come to a decision.”

  He sat down in his usual front porch chair, facing them. “I’ve been thinking and praying a lot about Billy and what’s best for him.”

  “We have too,” said Blake.

  Lewis ran his gaze between Linda and Blake, cleared his throat gently, and said, “What I’ve decided is that you dear people should keep Billy and raise him as your own son.”

  Linda felt a hot lump rise in her throat, and tears flooded her eyes.

  Blake could hardly believe his ears. Fighting his own tears he said, “If you’re really sure.

  “Positive,” Lewis cut in. “I could never give the boy the kind of home or the kind of life you and Linda have given him. You’ll want to adopt him, won’t you?”

  “Why, yes, of course,” said Blake, blinking against the tears that had gathered in his eyes.

&
nbsp; “I knew you would, so I went by Judge Leonard Holman’s house before coming here. I delivered some lumber to his house a couple of weeks ago and got to know him a little bit. I gave him the information he needed to have the adoption papers drawn up on Monday.

  “I’m booked on the Sacramento stage Tuesday morning, which leaves at ten o’clock. Our appointment is set with Judge Holman an hour ahead of my departure. I’ll sign Billy over to you, so you can adopt him legally. It’ll all be done right there in the judge’s chambers in the courthouse.”

  Linda’s lips quivered as she said, “Oh, Lewis, thank you!”

  “Yes, thank you!” Blake said. “You’ve made us the happiest people in the whole world!”

  Weeping freely, Lewis said, “I’m thanking you. I can leave Stockton with peace in my heart, knowing that my son will have the best home and family possible. This is God’s will for Billy.”

  Blake stood up and wiped tears from his cheeks, then stepped toward Lewis and wrapped his arms around him, trying to express his gratitude.

  Lewis pounded him on the back and told him it was the hardest decision he’d ever had to make, but the Lord had given him the grace and strength to do what was right.

  Linda placed Billy on Blake’s chair, and when the two men let go of each other, she embraced Lewis and said, “I’m so glad you got saved, Lewis. And I’m so glad you were willing to listen to the Lord about Billy. Be assured, we will raise him according to the Word of God.”

  All the weeping had little Billy puzzled. As he sat in Blake’s chair, he looked from one weeping adult to the other and screwed up his face to cry, although he wasn’t sure why.

  Immediately Linda picked him up and broke the tension. All three adults spoke to Billy, assuring him everything was all right. Then Linda pointed to some toys on the porch and told him to go play with them. When he was fully occupied, she turned back to the men, who were discussing the particulars of the adoption.

  Lewis explained what the judge had told him. All it entailed was the signing of papers. The whole thing wouldn’t take more than a few minutes.

  When they all sat down again, Lewis said, “Would it be all right if I write from time to time to see how Billy is doing?”