The Geeks Shall Inherit the Earth: Popularity, Quirk Theory, and Why Outsiders Thrive After High School

by Alexandra Robbins

  Dustin Hoffman: See People, 1978.

  “horrible”: See, for example, O’Hearn.

  made her more ambitious: Ibid.

  CHAPTER 6

  “One thing that really emphasized”: Interview.

  73 percent of online teens: See Lenhart, Amanda; Purcell, Kristen; Smith, Aaron; and Zickuhr, Kathryn. “Social Media & Mobile Internet Use Among Teens and Young Adults,” Pew Internet & American Life Project, Pew Research Center, 2010.

  in three years: See Lenhart, Amanda; Madden, Mary; Smith, Aaron; and Macgill, Alexandra. “Teens and Social Media,” Pew Internet & American Life Project, Pew Research Center, 2007.

  the cyberclutches of predators: Also, many adults have raised this topic at my lectures. I do not mean to imply that cyber predators aren’t a danger; only that teens are more likely to use SNS to connect with friends than strangers.

  people they already know: See, for example, Nyland; See also Lenhart, 2007: “The vast majority of teens who use social networking sites say they use the sites to maintain their current friendships.” (emphasis theirs)

  more than 90 percent: See Lenhart.

  After World War II: See Boyd, Danah. “Why Youth Social Network Sites: The Role of Networked Publics in Teenage Social Life.” Youth, Identity and Digital Media, Buckingham, David, ed. The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation Series on Digital Media and Learning, Cambridge, MA: The MIT Press, 2008.

  “By allowing youth”: Ibid. See also Nyland, Rob; Marvez, Raquel; and Beck, Jason. “Myspace: Social Networking or Social Isolation.” Paper presented at the AEJMC Midwinter Conference, Reno, Nevada. Feb 23–24, 2007. Note that “This does not mean that face-to-face communication is being displaced,” British psychologist Sonia Livingstone said. “The simple distinction between offline and online no longer captures the complex practices associated with online technologies as they become thoroughly embedded in the routines of everyday life.” See Livingstone, Sonia. “Taking risky opportunities in youthful content creation: teenagers’ use of social networking sites for intimacy, privacy, and self-expression,” New Media & Society, Vol. 10, 2008.

  “far less time”: See Nielsen Report. “How Teens Use Media,” June 2009.

  time with SNS friends in person: Ibid. See also Subrahmanyama, Kaveri; Reich, Stephanie M.; Waechter, Natalia; and Espinoza, Guadalupe. “Online and offline social networks: Use of social networking sites by emerging adults,” Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology, Vol. 29, 2008. The Nielsen report announced, “To teens, social networks are a key source of information and advice in a critical developmental period.” See Nielsen Report, June 2009.

  “whether offline social capital”: See Ellison, N. B.; Steinfield, C.; and Lampe, C. “The benefits of Facebook ‘friends’: Social capital and college students’ use of online social network sites,” Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication, Vol. 12, no. 4, 2007.

  “allows me to learn new facts”: Interview.

  “friend eaters”: Interviews.

  average of 455 Facebook friends: See Sheldon, P. “I’ll poke you. You’ll poke me! Self-disclosure, social attraction, predictability and trust as important predictors of Facebook relationships,” Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace, Vol. 3, no. 2, 2009.

  “In choosing [Top Friends]”: see Boyd, Danah.

  “Pictures on Facebook”: Interview.

  falking, or Facebook stalking: Interviews.

  “It’s like you never really get away”: Interview.

  “Although I love Facebook”: Interview.

  “It’s practically minute-to-minute”: Interview.

  “You’ll hear a conversation”: Interview.

  devoted to insulting a classmate: Interviews.

  a fake Facebook profile: Interview.

  quizzes that publicly ask: Interviews.

  “Facebook can totally ruin”: Interview.

  frequency with which teenagers: See, for example, Valkenburg, P. M.; Peter, J.; and Schouten, A. “Friend networking sites and their relationship to adolescents’ well-being and social self-esteem,” CyberPsychology and Behavior, Vol. 9.

  “tend to overestimate”: Ibid.

  Rachel’s Challenge: See rachelschallenge.org.

  Annmarie: Interview. Note: By the time I contacted Annmarie, she was happy and comfortable in a crowd of gamers.

  student gunmen killed twelve students: See, for example, Pevere, Geoff. “Mass murder as performance,” The Toronto Star, April 18, 2009; See also CNN, April 20, 2009.

  wore Goth-like fashion: See, for example, Anderegg.

  “We needed to know”: Ibid.

  “keep them under surveillance”: Brief interview, Elliot Aronson. See also Aronson, Elliot. Nobody left to hate: teaching compassion after Columbine, New York: W. H. Freeman and Company, 2000.

  “the ones you point out”: Interview.

  Blue: Blue and I had enough discussions about this topic that I believed that he was not realistically any danger to himself or others.

  A surprising number answered yes: Interviews.

  “The needs of students”: Interview.

  “robust” and “remarkable”: See Puckett. See also Rose and Swenson. See also LaFontana. See also Andreou, Eleni. “Social Preference, Perceived Popularity and Social Intelligence: Relations to Overt and Relational Aggression,” School Psychology International, Vol. 27, 2006, which states, “Relational aggression may predict increased perceived popularity.”

  the foundation for eventual racism: See, for example, Adler and Adler, 1995.

  his family moved there from Plattsburgh: See, for example, Belluck, Pam and Wilgoren, Jodi. “Shattered Lives—A special report,” The New York Times, June 29, 1999.

  played soccer and Little League: Ibid.

  earned good grades: See, for example, Florio, Gwen; Lelyveld, Nita; and Jones, Richard. “Looking into the Souls of Teens En Route to Ruin,” The Philadelphia Inquirer, April 25, 1999.

  he was popular: See Aronson.

  CHAPTER 7

  “It’s really down to the people”: Interview.

  to prove that they can manage: Interviews.

  “I did it because I wanted”: Interview.

  trying alcohol at younger ages: See, for example, Mays, Darren; Thompson, Nancy; Kushner, Howard I.; Mays II, David F.; Farmer, Derrick; and Windle, Michael. “Sports-specific factors, perceived peer drinking, and alcohol-related behaviors among adolescents participating in school-based sports in Southwest Georgia,” Addictive Behaviors, 35, 2010.

  “On the south side”: Interview.

  “I’m not a Mormon”: Interview.

  a bookworm in Syracuse: Interview.

  “The drinking divide”: Interview.

  declining since 1999: See, for example, “Morbidity and Mortality Weekly Report,” Surveillance Summaries, CDC, June 4, 2010.

  study conducted at a Midwestern high school: See Haines, M. and Christensen, S. “Communities Use a Social Norms Approach to Reduce Teen Alcohol and Tobacco Use: Two Case Studies,” Conference presentation at The National Conference on the Social Norms Model, Boston, MA, July 17, 2003. In addition, people tend to evaluate their participation in high-risk behavior by comparing themselves to other people. So if students believe that classmates are drinking more than they individually are, they tend to underestimate their personal risk. See, for example, Sessa, Frances M. “Peer Crowds in a Commuter College Sample: The Relation Between Self-Reported Alcohol Use and Perceived Peer Crowd Norms,” The Journal of Psychology, Vol. 141, No. 3, 2007.

  college students wildly overestimate: See, for example, Pedersen, Eric R.; LaBrie, Joseph W.; and Lac, Andrew. “Assessment of perceived and actual alcohol norms in varying contexts: Exploring Social Impact Theory among college students,” Addictive Behaviors, Vol. 33, 2008.

  the more anxious a student is: See, for example, Neighbors, Clayton; Fossos, Nicole; Woods, Briana A.; Fabiano, Patricia; Sledge, Michael; and Frost, Deborah. “Social Anxiety as a Moder
ator of the Relationship Between Perceived Norms and Drinking,” Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, January 2007.

  a student’s normative beliefs: See, for example, “Does Prevention Work?” FCD Educational Services.

  “significantly higher levels”: See Mays.

  they actually drink more: See, for example, Lewis, Todd F. “An explanatory model of student-athlete drinking: the role of team leadership, social norms, perceptions of risk, and coaches’ attitudes toward alcohol consumption,” College Student Journal, Vol. 42, Issue 3, September 2008.

  Sports teams develop: See, for example, Mays. See also Martens, Matthew P.; Dams-O’Connor, Kristen; and Duffy-Paiement, Christy. “Comparing Off-Season with In-Season Alcohol Consumption Among Intercollegiate Athletes,” Journal of Sport & Exercise Psychology, Vol. 28, 2006.

  FCD Educational Services: Interview, Renee Soulis.

  social norms: While most social norms programs are geared toward preventing substance abuse, schools also have used the approach to tackle seat-belt use and sexual assault prevention. Social norms marketing is also the strategy that hotels recently began using to convince guests to reuse towels. Powerhouse social psychologist Robert Cialdini, an Arizona State University professor, conducted a study in several hotels in which he displayed different versions of the “Reuse your towels” message in the bathroom. One placard asked guests to “Help save the environment.” A sign explaining that the majority of hotel guests reuse their towels was 26 percent more effective than the first. A placard stating that the majority of guests in that room, specifically, had reused their towels was nearly 30 percent more effective.

  “In every single school”: Ibid.

  “an enormously high success rate”: Ibid.

  “The middle schoolers”: Ibid. Parent surveys reveal statistics such as the number of parents who are talking to their children about these issues or allowing them to drink at home.

  Straight Edge: Note: Some Straight Edge kids also avoid promiscuity and animal products and others debate whether caffeine consumption also qualifies as “breaking edge.” See, for example, Guzowski, Stephanie. “Rutgers students share reasons for becoming Straight Edge,” Daily Targum, November 15, 2006. See also Bartlett, Thomas. “Studying Rock’s Clean, Mean Movement,” The Chronicle of Higher Education, September 29, 2006.

  a movement among punks: See, for example, Valenzuela, Beatriz. “Straight edge: ‘Stay punk, stay clean’ is the anthem they live by,” Daily Press, June 1, 2008.

  the group’s symbol: See, for example, Carroll, Ed. “Straight edge lifestyle helps some achieve goals,” The Independent Collegian, January 18, 2007.

  school outside of Seattle: These conversations occurred after a lecture I gave based on The Overachievers.

  “All parents want their kids”: See Bauman, Lawrence. Ten Most Troublesome Teenage Problems and How to Solve Them, New York: Kensington, 1997.

  “When you try to identify”: See Anderegg, David. Nerds, New York: Tarcher, 2007.

  “if everyone’s drinking”: Interview.

  parents who have negative attitudes: See, for example, Nash, Susan G.; McQueen, A.; and Bray, J. “Pathways to adolescent alcohol use: Family, environment, peer influence, and parental expectations,” Journal of Adolescent Health, Vol. 37, 2005.

  “The permissiveness of parents”: See Califano, Joseph Jr. High Society: How Substance Abuse Ravages America and What to Do About It, New York: PublicAffairs, 2007.

  “High school kids drink”: See Balko, Radley. “Zero Tolerance Makes Zero Sense,” The Washington Post, August 9, 2005.

  underage drinking is harmful: See, for example, Van der Vorst, Haske; Engels, Rutger C. M. E.; and Burk, William J. “Do parents and best friends influence the normative increase in adolescents’ alcohol use at home and outside the home?”, Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, January 1, 2010. See also Fergusson, David M.; Lynskey, Michael T.; and Horwood, L. John. “Childhood exposure to alcohol and adolescent drinking patterns,” Addiction, 1994, 89.

  children whose parents allow them to drink: See, for example, Esau, Cecelia A. and Hutchinson, Delyse. “Alcohol Use, Abuse, and Dependence,” Adolescent Addiction: Epidemiology, Assessment and Treatment, Esau, Cecelia A., ed. Burlington, MA, 2008. See also Komro, K. A.; Maldonado-Molina, M. M.; Tobler, A. L.; Bonds, J. R.; and Muller, K. E. “Effects of home access and availability of alcohol on young adolescents’ alcohol use,” Addiction, 2007, 102.

  teenagers who don’t drink at home: See, for example, Van der Vorst. See also Abar, Caitlin; Abar, Beau; and Turrisi, Rob. “The impact of parental modeling and permissibility on alcohol use and experienced negative drinking consequences in college,” Addictive Behaviors, Vol. 34, 2009.

  much more tolerant of substance abuse: See Luthar, Suniya S. and Goldstein, Adam S. “Substance use and related behaviors among suburban late adolescents: The importance of perceived parent containment,” Development and Psychopathology, Vol. 20, 2008.

  three times more likely to binge drink: See Long Foley, K.; Altman, D.; and Durant, R. H. “Adults’ approval and adolescents’ alcohol use,” Journal of Adolescent Health, Vol. 35, 2004.

  “the greater number of drinks”: The quote is from an interview the study’s lead author gave Science Daily: “Relaxed Attitudes Toward Alcohol and Youth May Increase Risk Of Binge Drinking in College,” Science Daily, June 11, 2009. For the study, see Abar.

  parents strongly disapprove: See, for example, Walls, Theodore A.; Fairlie, Anne M.; and Wood, Mark D. “Parents do matter: a longitudinal two-part mixed model of early college alcohol participation and intensity,” Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, November 1, 2009.

  far worse problems: An Ivy League president told Califano that “during his tenure of more than a decade, every case of rape and date rape at his university involved alcohol abuse.” See Califano.

  Note: The majority of states and hundreds of town councils have passed laws that hold parents civilly and criminally liable when they serve alcohol to minors, or when they know that someone else has served alcohol to minors in their home. See, for example Tilghman, Andrew. “When kids bend elbows, parents break the rules,” The Times Union, March 24, 2002.

  “she believed I had been”: Interview.

  CHAPTER 8

  social psychologist Henri Tajfel: See Tajfel, H.; Billig, M. G.; and Bundy, R. P. “Social categorization and intergroup behavior,” European Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 1, no. 2, 1971. See also Baumeister and Leary.

  flip of a coin: See Tajfel; see also Bettencourt, B. A.; Dorr, N; Charlton, K.; and Hume, D. L. “Status Differences and In-Group Bias: A Meta-Analytic Examination of the Effects of Status Stability, Status Legitimacy, and Group Permeability,” Psychological Bulletin, Vol. 127, July 2002, 4; see also LaFontana.

  split people into groups by lottery: See Locksley, A.; Ortiz, V.; and Hepburn, C. “Social categorization and discriminatory behavior: Extinguishing the minimal intergroup discrimination effect,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Vol. 39, 1980.

  The need to belong: See, for example, Baumeister and Leary.

  survival and reproductive advantages: See, for example, Bukowski, William M. and Sippola, Lorrie K. “Groups, Individuals, and Victimization: A View of the Peer System.”

  Group membership improves odds: See, for example, Baumeister, et al.

  members of social categories: See, for example, Tajfel and Turner. See also Mlicki, Pawel and Ellemers, Naomi. “Being different or being better? National stereotypes and identifications of Polish and Dutch students,” European Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 26, 1996.

  children intuitively understand: See, for example, Gavin.

  children typically have split: See, for example, Xie.

  tall, friendly, good at sports: Interview, Dominic Abrams. See also Abrams, Dominic and Rutland, Adam. “The Development of Subjective Group Dynamics,” Intergroup Attitudes and Relations in Childhood Through Adulthood.

  to reach a cookie
jar: Interview, Abrams.

  By fourth grade: See, for example, Xie.

  play favorites with their own group: See Tajfel; See also, for example, Baumeister.

  “in-group bias”: See Turner, J. C.; Tajfel, H.; and Brown, R. H. “Social comparison and group interest in ingroup favoritism,” European Journal of Social Psychology, Vol. 9, 1979.