Southern Sass (Southern Desires Series Book 6)

by Jeannette Winters

  He leaned back in his chair and changed the subject. “Since you found my childhood dream to be so amusing, how about you share yours?”

  Sissie didn’t respond, so he gave her a nudge with his shoulder. Whatever it was it piqued his interest. She was so outgoing that his mind ran wild with different professions she might have chosen.

  “Don’t you laugh,” Sissie ordered.

  Ryan sat tight-lipped.

  “I wanted to be a nun.”

  “What! No way. You’re pulling my leg.” Sissie’s expression said she wasn’t joking. “Why a nun?”

  “My favorite movie was The Sound of Music. She wanted to be a nun, but before she took her final vows she found true love.”

  A nun? His mind couldn’t accept that.

  “Don’t you think I’d make a good nun?” Before he could answer, she gave him a playful punch in the arm. “I can’t believe it. You really thought I wanted to be a nun?”

  Oh, you little vixen. “Let’s just say you had me thanking God you weren’t one. So out with it. What did you want to be? The truth this time.”

  “I wanted to be a criminal profiler.”

  She meant it this time. “Why didn’t you pursue it?”

  “I did.”

  “Really? Is there something you’re not telling me?” Like do you work for Collins or the government?

  “I have my college degree, but I don’t want to use it.”

  “You went to college?” He didn’t mean to sound so surprised, but he was.

  He could see he offended her. “Yes, I went to college. For your information, I have a master’s degree.”

  Ryan reached out his hand and touched her leg. “I didn’t mean to sound like a—”

  “Arrogant ass?”

  He nodded. “That too. So why are you here? I mean in Honeywell?”

  “Because this is my home. Where I’m happy.”

  “But you can’t practice it here. The worse thing anyone does is litter, and I’m sure someone is right behind them picking it up.”

  “Exactly. When I did my internship with the FBI, I saw things I never wanted to see again. So I came back to where life is . . . peaceful. Happy. I know you can’t understand that, Ryan. You’re all big business. You chase money. I thrive on joy. We really have nothing in common.”

  Not on the outside. Before he could respond their alone time came to an end.

  “Well, well, what do we have here?” Donna asked as she walked onto the porch.

  Sissie stirred but Ryan wasn’t about to let her go. They’d spent the entire night talking and holding each other. Ryan put his arm around Sissie’s shoulder as he responded. “We’ve been talking.”

  “Oh, is that what you call it?” Donna teased.

  Although it was nice having a more playful conversation with Donna, this wasn’t the time. Just like he’d done with Sissie last night, he and Donna needed to clear the air and put all the lies and secrets behind them. It wasn’t easy doing that with Sissie, and they didn’t see eye to eye on many things. There was one thing they did agree on. I have to tell Donna the truth about her mother. Ryan knew the smile on her face wasn’t going to be there long.

  Sissie patted Ryan on his thigh and said, “I think I should give you two some time to catch up.”

  It was time, and Sissie was giving him the privacy to do what needed to be done. Ryan wished she’d stay. He knew Donna was going to need her. God knows I do. Reluctantly he removed his arm so she could get up. As she passed him, he grabbed her hand and brought it to his lips. “Thank you.”

  Sissie nodded and headed inside the Sass. Donna stayed standing, but her expression wasn’t quite so relaxed. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

  “You didn’t. Now come and sit. We need to talk.”

  Donna didn’t move. “You don’t need my permission to date Sissie, Dad. She’s an amazing woman. I like her. I’m glad you found someone so . . . nice. I don’t want you spending your life alone.”

  He was glad Donna felt that way because he really liked Sissie. They connected on a level he couldn’t explain. It was something he planned on exploring with Sissie when they had time to do so. Maybe take her away from here where we can actually be alone.

  “Donna, sit. Now.”

  She did as he requested this time. He needed to start the conversation. Without making her hate me. That’s where it was going to be tricky. He’d always said he’d never lie to her, and now he had to admit he’d broke that promise. Not with something small either.

  “Dad, what’s wrong?”

  “I need to talk to you about your mother.”

  “She’d be okay with this too. Heck, Dad, I knew things weren’t all peaches and cream when she was alive. You were both trying to make things look like we were one big happy family, but I knew the truth.”

  “And what truth did you think you knew?” Ryan didn’t want to drift off topic, but he wanted to hear this. Not for him, but for how she perceived their family.

  “That you both loved me and cared for each other.”

  “You’re right.”

  “And I’m also right when I say I knew you two really didn’t belong together.”

  “Why would you say that?”

  “Dad, I have eyes. I know you don’t think I noticed, but you two lived together, but still apart. Not like what you see in the movies. Or read in a book.”

  Although he didn’t believe in all that romance crap, Donna hit the mark. He wanted to tell her she was wrong. Lies are over.

  “That’s not what I wanted to talk about. It’s about how your mother died.” He was wracking his brain, looking for the right words. It wasn’t easy when he told her the first time, and that was a lie. The truth was so much more difficult.

  “Dad, it was a long time ago. I wish she wasn’t out driving late at night like that, but accidents happen. You can’t blame yourself.”

  Oh, he did. If he’d been more involved in her life, her research, he might have seen some warning signs she’d missed. Their marriage would’ve probably ended, but at least, Donna would have her mother.

  “This isn’t about blame. It’s about the accident. There wasn’t one.”

  “Dad, of course there was. You told me yourself. She hit a deer, went off the road, and was killed instantly. Can’t get more of an accident than that.”

  He could see she didn’t want to talk about the details around Janet’s death. He understood why. No matter what, Janet was her mother, and she never got to say goodbye. Talking about it now only relived that painful time.

  The difference was they had to speak. If anything went down he needed Donna to understand why he’d done everything the way he had. I can’t risk something happening to me, and she never know the truth.

  “There wasn’t a car accident.”

  “You mean it wasn’t a deer?”

  “No I mean she didn’t . . . die the way I told you she had.” He could see the panic and confusion in her eyes. “But I need you to listen to everything I have to say. It’s very important and . . . not easy to hear.”

  Donna nodded, her eyes wide open and her hands trembling. “Just say it, Dad. I need to know.”

  “She was murdered.”

  Her eyes welled up. “Murdered? Who? Why?”

  Ryan took his daughter’s hands into his. “I don’t know all the details on who. I’m not exactly sure on why either. What I can tell you was she was working on something top secret, and because of what they thought she knew, she was killed.”

  “How did she really die?”

  Ryan closed his eyes as her pleading voice ripped through him. The battle of how much to tell raged within him. Thinking your mother didn’t suffer was so much easier. And not even close to the truth. He knew she needed to hear it, but she’d never be the same after.

  “She was infected with a virus that there was no cure for.”

  “She got sick and died. How does that equate to mur . . . murder?”

  He couldn’t belie
ve it himself when he watched Janet go through it. It seemed impossible that someone would do such a thing. Yet, there she was, fighting for her life until she couldn’t anymore. “Donna, she didn’t get the influenza, or anything that common. She was intentionally infected with something physicians hadn’t seen before. Your mother tried everything to find something to stop it, but it was too late.”

  “You mean like a biological weapon of some kind?”

  “Not exactly sure. They’re looking into that right now.” Hopefully, Janet didn’t die for nothing, and what she left behind saves someone else.

  Donna pulled away from him and bolted for the door. Ryan got up to follow her. He needed her to hear him out. This was a shock, and he understood that, but there was more that needed to be said.

  Before he could reach her, Sissie stepped onto the porch. Donna ran right into her open arms. Ryan stopped dead in his tracks and gave them space. It wasn’t easy, but Donna needed someone right now, and it wasn’t him. It hasn’t been me for a long time now.

  Everything he did was for her, even though his actions didn’t reflect that, unless you knew the entire story. I hate that she’s in pain, but I still know I had to come clean. She deserves truth, especially from me.

  As Sissie consoled Donna, her eyes met his. Ryan could tell that she empathized with their situation. If he hadn’t discussed this with Sissie only hours earlier, Sissie would be shooting daggers with those beautiful brown eyes of hers.

  Ryan mouthed the words thank you to Sissie for being there for Donna. Sissie was saying something softly to Donna. Whatever it was Donna nodded and responded to her. He knew Sissie cared about his daughter. But it would be so easy for her to walk away. None of this was her problem, yet here she was standing by them both. You’re something else, Sissie. What am I going to do with you? Whatever it was, it had to wait. He’d already asked too much of her.

  It seemed like Donna wasn’t ever going to come back and talk to him again. Patience wasn’t a virtue of his. Neither was trust, but he was putting his in Sissie. Hopefully she was encouraging Donna. I can’t picture what she could say to make Donna want to speak to me. I lied to her. Not a small one either. Ryan knew if the shoe was on the other foot, he’d be enraged.

  Sissie’s arms finally dropped from around Donna. Ryan held his breath. He knew it could go either way. She’d either storm into the Sass or come back to talk to him. Thankfully the latter happened.

  As she approached, he could see the hurt written all over her face. All he could do was answer whatever questions she had. He resisted the urge to grab her and hold her until she forgave him. Some things I can’t control.

  She passed him, and he waited until she sat back down. Only then did he sit again near her. She didn’t speak right away as she was still very emotional. Seeing Donna in such a state and knowing it was his doing caused more pain than he’d experienced before. Sorry baby girl. I never meant to hurt you.

  He turned toward Sissie. It was hard to tell from that distance, but she seemed to be crying too. Ryan was a hard-ass man who’d never shed a tear, but right now, he was fighting them back himself. His next actions and words might determine what he and Donna had going forward. Ryan knew he’d do anything to earn her trust back. Thanks to Sissie, he was given that opportunity. She gave him a brief nod then disappeared back inside the saloon.

  Between sniffs, Donna said, “I’m confused Dad. I’m angry and sad and hurt and afraid all at the same time.”

  “I know. I’ll try to help you any way I can.” He sat there not touching her again. Ryan needed to let her drive the conversation this time.

  “Dad, I should’ve been there for her, and I wasn’t. You took that away from me.” Tears rolled down Donna’s face.

  “I did what I needed to do at the time, Donna.” He still wasn’t sure if what he’d done was right or not. There was no going back and changing it now. Janet made her decision, and he’d made his. Unfortunately, Donna was the one who suffered along with them without a say. He was ashamed that Donna had been more astute than he’d figured. She had been hurting all along, and he blinded himself to that fact. He’d made so many mistakes in expressing his feelings, and he was thankful she hadn’t followed in his footsteps and shut down emotionally. Somehow through it all, Donna saw through all the bullshit and knew her mother and father loved her very much. A small silver lining.

  “I wasn’t a child, Dad. I could’ve handled it. But you took that away from me, and I don’t know why you did that. Why didn’t you tell me the truth?” Donna pleaded with him.

  “Because your mother knew whoever did this to her, might hurt you as well. She made me promise to protect you at all cost.” Even if you hate me for it.

  “If that’s the case why are you telling me the truth now?”

  “Because the threat has returned, and I need to make sure you do everything I tell you, so I don’t lose you too.”

  “Is that what this has been about? Your coming here to Honeywell had nothing to do with spending time with me or seeing Sissie. It’s all about—”

  “Protecting you.” Spending time with them both was the bonus. “I’ll do anything to keep you safe.” Me and Collins.

  “Dad, none of this makes any sense. Mom wasn’t into anything that would’ve gotten her killed. And I’m . . . I’m a nobody.”

  He hated her talking about herself like that. She was beautiful and brilliant. Yet, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d told her either of those things. He was so busy being her protector he’d forgotten about being her father. The distance between them was because he’d put it there. Donna had tried reaching out to him so many times and he’d pushed her away. Damn, I really fucked this all up. He knew it wasn’t too late. It was time for him to say what she’d been waiting to hear for years. I won’t blame you if it falls on deaf ears.

  In a firm tone, he said, “You’re far from no one. You’re a wonderful daughter.”

  The smallest curl of Donna’s lips gave him hope for their future. This was the beginning of a different phase of their life.

  “Donna, I’m sorry. I should’ve told you that long ago. Hell, I should’ve said it every night before I tucked you into bed. You’re a bit too big for that now, but hopefully not too old to hear your old man tell you he loves you.”

  Donna’s smile shined through her eyes and touched his heart. “I’ll never be too old for that, Dad.” Leaning her head on his shoulder she added, “I love you too.”

  He wished their conversation could end on those three words. But he knew it was far from over.

  “Dad, I’m no one the bad guys would have any interest in. I’m not even employed anymore, thanks to you.”

  It was a fact, one he’d never shared with her, but at least one she already knew.

  “That’s another thing you’re wrong about. When you worked for FEMA and gave Casey the file showing your boss JT falsified documents, you proved you’re more like your mother than you know. And, in doing so, you showed them you’re not afraid to take them on.”

  “Them? Who are they and what does JT have to do with any of this?” Donna asked.

  “He’s a piece to an ugly puzzle. One that if you hadn’t done what you did, he might be alive today, destroying even more lives.”

  “So it’s over. If he’s dead, he can’t hurt me. Hurt any of us,” Donna said, her voice filled with false hope.

  “Unfortunately, he had a son who’s out to pick up where his father left off. Mark Collins is doing everything he can to find and shut down his operation.” Hopefully, before they find you.

  Donna wiped her cheeks, and he saw the strength in her reappear. “If I’m at risk, that means Casey is too. We need to warn her.”

  He knew she was a fighter and wouldn’t just sit back and take what she’d learned and crawl under a blanket and hide. He was also incredibly proud that her first concern was for her friend. That didn’t change the fact that he needed her to stay down. If she became involved again, it’d be li
ke waving a red flag in front of a bull. He couldn’t allow it to happen. He trusted Collins and his own team to do what they needed to do, but it was his responsibility to make sure his daughter remained safe. Alive. “Collins has people watching her. She’s safe. So is the rest of the family. My concern is you.”

  “And Sissie. You can’t forget her, Dad,” Donna said in a demanding tone. One he wasn’t used to hearing.

  Ryan hadn’t planned on the need to do that when he first contacted Sissie, but yes, he was going to do everything in his power to protect her as well. If Collins was right and those jerks were monitoring everything and anyone he had been in contact with, he hoped his actions hadn’t brought a target to her back too. That’s not what I want to bring into her life.

  “If I can.”

  “Dad, you have to. She acts like she doesn’t need anyone. I’ve been staying with her for a few days now, and I’m telling you, she’s haunted at night by nightmares. I heard her call, begging for help. When I went to her room, she was fast asleep but crying. Does that sound like someone who doesn’t need you? Besides, if you care about her, and I know you do, you’ll do everything you can to keep her safe. Just like you did for me all these years.”

  Crying? Why didn’t she tell me? Although he and Sissie had talked all night last night, she’d left a wall up around her. One I should’ve seen through. If he hadn’t been so darn captivated by her, he would’ve. She had a way of distracting him. It was a blessing, but something neither of them could afford. He’d finally found someone he cared so much for. Yet just like his late wife, Janet, she didn’t seem to need him either. If she couldn’t open up, lean on him when she was hurting, what was the point of pursuing this? It would be no different than what he had when he was married. Two people sharing a name only. Ryan wanted something different with Sissie. He found himself actually concerned more about her than himself. What is troubling you, Sissie? I need to know if I’m going to help.

  He knew Sissie intentionally hid something from him. Yet, he didn’t think Sissie was sharing that with Donna either. “Did you ask her what was wrong?”