by Beth Flynn
He didn’t address my sarcasm, but asked a question instead.
“Why did you wear the bandana?”
A million possible answers flashed through my mind. I could’ve made something up. Tortured him with some ridiculous story. But I decided the truth would hurt the most. And right now I wanted him to hurt.
“It definitely wasn’t my idea. Tommy asked me to wear it. After I told him you were still alive and left a way for me to signal you if I ever needed you, he asked me to wear it so I could make a decision. But I told him it wasn’t necessary. I was with him, and seeing you wouldn’t change that. But he insisted and so I wore it, and Carter sent the signal.” I let out a harsh laugh. “And as you can see, it no longer matters.”
He stared back at me, the hurt in his eyes suddenly replaced with something else, something I couldn’t read.
I stared at him hard. “I’ll ask this only once, and if you have a decent bone left in your body, you’ll tell me the truth. I will absolve you of every lie and half-truth you’ve ever told me or allowed me to believe for twenty-five years. And keep in mind—I’m not the naïve teenager you married in 1975. I’ll know if you’re telling me the truth.”
He never broke eye contact.
“The police caught Tommy’s murderer, and they believe it was random. Did you or they have anything to do with his murder?”
“No.” His voice was even, quiet.
I nodded slowly, believing and accepting his answer. I let out the breath I’d been holding and started to walk past him. I stopped when my shoulder brushed his bicep. I could feel his head turn toward me, although I stared straight ahead at the open doorway.
His arm came up then, and he softly caressed my cheek with the back of his hand. I froze, but his touch sent a jolt I hadn’t expected.
I shook him off and kept walking, calling out over my shoulder, “If you’ll excuse me now, I don’t want to be late for my nail appointment.”
I knew he’d turned to watch me leave, and I stopped in the doorway, turned around to look at him.
“I have to get ready for my date tonight.”
Chapter Forty-Five
Grizz
2001, Fort Lauderdale
The urge to physically stop her from leaving the church was almost his undoing. He tried not to flinch when she said all those things. After all, he deserved them. But knowing she had a right to feel the way she did and actually hearing the words come out of her mouth were two different things.
She’d changed, and she was right. She was no longer the young girl he’d married. She was a woman who’d lost two husbands and was now raising two children on her own. Gone was the vulnerable teenager he’d forced himself on twenty-five years ago. She’d grown into a strong, self-assured, take-charge adult.
And perhaps because of it, he realized he was more drawn to her now than he’d ever been before.
His heart had been in his throat as he’d stood in the doorway of her classroom, watched her without her knowing it. Her youthful figure had been replaced by a fuller, curvier version that had known two full-term pregnancies and childbirth. Having children agreed with her. She was absolutely perfect, and he’d never been more attracted to her.
One thing hadn’t changed. Her big brown eyes. Not even the slight creases at the corners took away from the soulful gaze that had always held him captive. Somewhere deep inside, he’d hoped seeing her would displace all the feelings he’d been tormented by over the years. Hoped she would be someone he’d always care about, but wouldn’t have the same hold on him.
But one look told him he was still utterly, deeply, and completely in love with her. Even more so, now that she displayed a maturity and strength that spoke to the woman she had become.
His woman.
He didn’t have a plan. Yet. But there was no way he’d walk away from her. He would fight for her, and there would be no losing. Because if he didn’t win her back, he would just take what he wanted. He always had, and he was convinced he’d never be able to change that.
But he’d do it the right way, for now. Her way.
**********
The next day he nonchalantly pushed his small cart through the aisles of the grocery store, catching sight of her in his peripheral vision. He knew she’d meant what she’d said the night before. That she was going on a date. He’d immediately called Anthony and was given access to a friend’s privately owned gym. There was a back room used for illegal fighting, and Anthony was more than willing to go a couple of rounds with Grizz, let him take out some frustrations.
“Not the face, fucker,” Anthony had told him. “I’m taking Christy out tonight. If I come home with a bloody face, she’ll be pissed.”
“Not a problem,” Grizz said as he punched Anthony in the stomach.
He wished now that he’d given Anthony the same rule. Grizz was now sporting a bruised and swollen cheek. The pain at first was welcomed. Now he realized the bruises might give Kit—Ginny—the wrong impression.
Anthony’s guy had reported back that she was a creature of habit on Sundays. Church, breakfast at the local pancake house with a few church friends, and then the grocery store. After all those years with him, he thought he’d taught her better.
Now, he just waited for her to come down his aisle and notice him. When she did, she stopped and stared.
“Hmph! I see some things never change,” she hissed almost to herself after seeing his swollen face. “Are you following me?”
He shrugged. “Where are the kids?”
“Thank God they’re not with me.” Her eyes flashed. “Mimi babysat for the Bears last night and slept there, and Jason spent the night with a friend. Are you insane?”
“Not insane. Just hungry,” he said casually, concentrating hard on the box of cereal he clutched.
She looked up and down the aisle. They were alone.
“I cannot believe you had the nerve to show up at my grocery store!” Her voice grew louder. “How dare you follow me?”
“I didn’t follow you, it’s not your grocery store, and I can shop wherever and whenever I want.” He could feel her glare as he continued to stare at the cereal. “So how was your date last night?”
“That is none of your business!”
“Well, I’m glad you’re moving on, Ginny. You deserve to be happy.” He almost choked on his words.
She wanted him to believe she was genuinely happy for him, so maybe he’d just let her think he was genuinely happy for her. Which couldn’t be farther from the truth. He’d never gone to high school, so he didn’t know what kind of games kids played with each other, but he was pretty certain it went something like this. Who knows, maybe he’d enjoy this a little bit.
She huffed off, and he purposely didn’t watch as she finished her shopping, paid, and left the store.
But the wind left his sails after he paid for his groceries and headed for his car.
Was this really how he wanted to play this? It had only been ten minutes, and he was already emotionally exhausted. It only verified in his mind how he’d become the person he was. He never had time for such nonsense, and he sure as hell didn’t have time for it now. As far as taking what he wanted, how the hell was he going to do that when there were children to be considered? Could he see himself being a father to Mimi and Jason?
If he let himself think about it, yes, he thought he could. There was a desire deep inside that kept calling to him, but he hadn’t been able to pinpoint it. He’d always thought it had been Ginny, and yes, she was a major part of that, but he also realized while sitting at Tommy’s funeral that there was something else he yearned for. Something he’d never experienced and wanted to try.
He wanted to be part of a family.
Chapter Forty-Six
Mimi
2001, Fort Lauderdale
She didn’t think it was possible to suffer so much humiliation in one lifetime. She sat in the front seat of Christian Bear’s pickup truck and willed herself to be invisible. She
never wanted to be as far away from South Florida than she did at this very moment. Her life had been feeling all-wrong anyway, and the recent incidents just cemented in her mind what she’d wanted all along.
To go away. To leave.
Of course, it had started to spiral downward at her own hand when she’d agreed to help Leslie. It had gotten worse when her parents separated, and even though she was happy they’d reconciled, her life had seriously tanked when Elliott—Nick, or whatever his real name was—had used her.
She didn’t think it could get worse after that, but it had. Worse than she could’ve ever imagined. Oh, Dad.
She was still mourning her father’s death. Yes, Tommy Dillon would always be her dad, not the guy who’d impregnated her mother. And though she felt she was mourning Tommy in a healthy way, she felt the silent pity from her friends. The unspoken words and whispers. She didn’t know if she was imagining it or not, but something told her some of them knew her parents’ history, and she felt their judgment—and admiration—without anyone actually saying something.
She knew some of their parents had figured out a long time ago her mother had been married to a man who’d been executed. She couldn’t help but wonder if they’d figured out he was also her biological father. She no longer hated Grizz, the man she’d never know, but she hated what his legacy may have left in its wake.
She wanted out.
She’d hoped she would find comfort in someone. She knew she saw Slade Bear in a different light after the night he’d rescued her, and she hoped he’d seen her differently, too. She’d told herself he was so wrapped up in college he just wasn’t getting the hint that she had feelings for him.
She’d been dead wrong. He did know about her feelings, and last night, he’d let her down as gently as possible. Her cheeks burned as she tried to block out the memories, but they came anyway.
He’d shown up the night before at his parents’ house. He’d been stopping in to pick something up and was surprised when he came in the front door and saw her on the couch reading to his little sister, Daisy.
She tried to ask again for some driving lessons. He didn’t answer, instead offering to help tuck Daisy in. Mimi had been thrilled. Slade wanted to be alone with her.
But after Daisy was tucked in, he’d told her in the kindest and nicest way possible: he wasn’t interested. She was one of the sweetest and prettiest girls he knew, but…
There was more than one “but.” Their families went back too far and it would be like dating a younger sister. He was in his first year in college and didn’t want a serious girlfriend. He couldn’t give her the time and attention she deserved.
She wanted to tell him he could stop after the first “but.” She didn’t want to hear any of it. She was going to be sixteen soon. And it was her fault she hadn’t taken the first of several hints. For someone who considered herself to have a decent amount of intelligence, she was the absolute sorriest when it came to matters of the heart.
No, if Slade Bear had even the slightest interest in her, he would’ve shown it. He would’ve made it work. Her humiliation got even worse when she remembered the drugging predicament he’d saved her from. She was grateful he’d rescued her that night, but now she wished it had been anybody but him.
Even Christian would’ve been a better choice. Her mother had been right—they’d been friends when they were younger. If she had maintained that friendship, maybe he would’ve been the friend whose shoulder she would cry on.
And now, she was sitting in Christian’s truck. More mortified than she’d ever been before. If there had been a cliff to jump off, she’d be over the edge by now.
Christy Bear had asked Christian that morning if he wouldn’t mind taking Mimi home. He’d grunted a yes as they headed for his truck.
As they made the forty-five-minute drive to her house, she’d tried to break the uncomfortable silence by engaging him in casual conversation, and he seemed to lighten up. She watched his profile as they drove. He really was quite handsome. He favored his father, Anthony, who was a full-blooded Native American. Christian’s intense blue eyes were the only thing he’d inherited from his mother, and they stood out in stark contrast to his dark tan skin and long black hair that almost reached his waist. He certainly hadn’t inherited Christy’s sweet disposition. Christian had a wildness that scared her, though she had to admit to herself she might’ve found him attractive if she hadn’t been so swallowed up by Slade’s rejection the night before.
She started to get an uncomfortable yet recognizable feeling then. No! This isn’t happening. Not now. Not in Christian’s truck! She squirmed slightly in the seat and realized with horror that, yes, it had happened. She had just felt her period come on in a rush, and it was now soaking through her shorts.
She wanted to die. How would she ever get out of the truck without him noticing? Worse yet, she was certain she was staining the seat beneath her.
He sensed she was upset, looked over at her. “You okay?” She thought she sensed genuine concern.
She hemmed and hawed, not sure how to tell him she had just gotten her period and she was sure it was now on his truck seat. She couldn’t think of anything that would gross a guy out more than menstrual blood all over his nice leather. Especially a guy like Christian Bear.
He looked at her questioningly. She gritted her teeth. What have I got to lose? I embarrassed myself with Slade last night, might as well just top it off and pray I never see another Bear for the rest of my life.
“Christian, I don’t know how to tell you this, but I’m pretty sure I just got my period.” Her cheeks burned. “I’m just so sorry. I can feel that it’s soaked through my panties and shorts, and I know it’s on your seat. I just want to die. I’ll pay for any damage.”
His expression was unreadable. “No problem. Let’s get you home. It’ll wipe off. Don’t sweat it, Mimi.”
Christian had been trying to work up the nerve to see if she wanted to maybe go out with him sometime, but her admission stopped his train of thought. All he could think about was putting her at ease. Besides, he was Christian Bear. Blood was the least of his hang-ups.
“You don’t know how embarrassing this is,” she said as she kept dialing a number and sending texts.
He shrugged. “It’s normal girl shit, and I don’t know a lot about normal girl shit, but I’m pretty sure this happens. Like I said, it’ll clean up.”
Mimi looked frantic now. “Uh, my mom’s not home yet, and she’s not answering my texts, and I don’t have my key. She’s either at the pancake house or grocery store. They’re both on the way home. Can you run me by and we’ll see if we can find her?”
He asked her which restaurant and which grocery store. When they came to a red light, he wordlessly reached in front of her and opened the glove box. He took out a hand towel and indicated for her to lift her butt up off the seat. He swiped at the leather.
“See? Came right off.” He reached behind her into the backseat and pulled out a lightweight jacket. “You can wrap this around you. Tie it in the front. It’ll cover your ass, and the sleeves are long enough to hang down in front of you.”
Mimi accepted it wordlessly.
Ginny wasn’t at the pancake house and still wasn’t answering their home phone or replying to her texts. They pulled into the grocery store parking lot.
“She’s here!” Mimi yelled when she spotted her mother’s car in the lot. “Thank God—she’s here.”
“You want me to wait with you until she comes out?”
“That won’t be necessary. You’ve done enough, and I don’t know how long she’ll be. She might’ve just started shopping. I’ll just go in and find her.”
“I don’t mind, Mimi. Really. If you want to get your house key from her, I’ll wait and drive you home.”
Mimi had already started to get out of the truck and was reaching for her overnight bag that had been sitting on the floor in front of her. She knew that, as kind as Christian had been, she was sti
ll embarrassed it had gone this far. Worst twelve hours ever. No. She’d find her mother, rush her through her shopping, and go home.
“You’ve done more than enough, Christian. I’ll get your jacket back to you. Thank you.”
She managed a smile.
He nodded a goodbye, and she slammed the truck door shut and went inside to look for her mother.
She made a quick pit stop in the ladies’ room and changed into the used panties and shorts she’d worn to the Bears’ the previous day. The grocery store restroom didn’t have a machine that sold feminine hygiene products, so she loaded up her underwear with paper towels. They would do until she got home. Then she went to look for her mother.
But after walking up and down each aisle, she ran to the front of the store just in time to see her driving away. She must’ve been paying when I was walking in—I should’ve looked in the checkout lines first. Now what?
She went outside and sat on a bench. She would wait the five minutes it took for Ginny to get home, and she would call the house and ask her mother to come back.
She’d started to text Christian to thank him again for being so understanding when a movement to her left caught her eye. She saw a man she shouldn’t recognize, but somehow did.
Maybe it was instinct. Maybe it was something spiritual. Maybe it was neither. Maybe she was wrong.
But her gut told her she wasn’t.
She watched as he walked to a white Chevelle with a black stripe running down the middle of it. Super bad-looking dude in a super bad-looking car.
She didn’t know how she knew it, but she did. She was looking at the evil sperm donor.
Grizz.
She was looking at her biological father.
Chapter Forty-Seven
Grizz
2001, Fort Lauderdale
He had just loaded up his groceries and was getting ready to climb into his car when he heard her.