Pepped Up

by Ali Dean

  “You should go home to get ready for school.” Even though I’m quite comfortable, I know this shouldn’t be happening.

  “Five more minutes.” He inhales.

  “Are you smelling me?” I ask him.

  “Yeah. You smell like the ocean or something. I missed it.”

  “I’ve never even been to the ocean,” I remind him.

  “What kind of shampoo do you use?” He pulls me closer to him.

  “Jace!” I squeal and jump away from him when I feel him hard against my bottom. I must have taken my sweats off some time in the middle of the night because we’re both in our underwear. “Is it always like that! Jeez!”

  Jace chuckles. “It’s called a morning wood. Sorry.” But he doesn’t seem the least bit sorry. He glances down at it. “He’s waking up. Stretching, if you will.”

  I sit and cross legs. “Ryan’s picking me up in 30 minutes. And Gran’s going to freak when she sees you. We need to get up.” Jace sighs and rolls over onto his back, his erection proudly pushing up from black boxer briefs. He catches me staring and grins.

  “Are they all like that?” I ask him. I should let it go, but my fascination gets the better of me.

  “Like what?” He knows what I mean, but he wants me to say it.

  “That . . . big!” I cover my face with hands, mortified. It just seems so huge, and I don’t understand how it can fit inside anyone. Jace pries my fingers away from my eyes.

  “Don’t be embarrassed. No, they aren’t all the same size. You must know that, at least.”

  I nod. Duh. “But do you know where yours is, like, size-wise?”

  He raises his eyebrows. “What do you think?”

  It’s big. He knows it. Of course. He has all the other goods, why wouldn’t he have that as well? I push him hard, trying to roll him off the bed but he doesn’t budge.

  He starts laughing and I smile. It’s good to have Jace back. The cocky, care free, Jace. Maybe it will all be okay after all.

  There’s a loud knock on my door. “Jace Vernon Wilder! I know you’re in there!” Gran screams. It’s not a scream I recognize. Is she mad? It’s hard to know with Gran. Jace and I look at each other with quizzical expressions.

  “Coming!” Jace yells back. He pulls on his jeans and quickly answers the door. Gran eyes his shirtless chest before moving her gaze to me. I’m sitting in bed. At least the covers are hiding my bare legs.

  “Would one of ya like to tell me what is goin’ on here?” She asks calmly. Too calmly.

  “It’s not what it looks like, Gran,” I tell her. “You know I went to Wes’s last night? Well, then we met up with Jace and he just decided to sleep here.” I try to be as honest as possible. Not that drugs and orgies would necessarily shock Gran, but still.

  “Hmph,” Gran growls out.

  “I assure you, Buns, there were no shenanigans.” Jace sounds contrite.

  Gran crosses her arms and looks back and forth between us. The mis-matching pajama set and piglet slippers diminish the impact of her piercing gaze, but only slightly. Apparently she’s satisfied by her assessment because she turns to go back to the kitchen.

  As soon as Jace looks back at me we break into another fit of giggles. It’s like we’re little kids again, and we know we’re up to no good. Jace’s six pack clenches as he laughs, and the temperature in the room increases. I clutch my stomach and roll back onto the bed to avoid thinking thoughts that I shouldn’t.

  “Okay, get outta here. I need to get dressed,” I shoo him away.

  Jace throws on his tee shirt and leans against the door frame. “So, does this mean you’re not shutting me out anymore?” He asks.

  I stare at the ceiling, avoiding his gaze. Does Jace need me? Do I have bargaining power? “Will you stop doing drugs?”

  Jace takes a moment to answer. “Yeah. Okay.”

  Sheesh. That was easy. I push my luck. “Will you stop dealing drugs?” I say it quietly, just in case Gran is eavesdropping.

  “Yes.”

  Definitely too easy. All I had to do was ask? I have a hard time believing him.

  “You should go. Ryan’s picking me up soon and I need to get ready.”

  “Can I start picking you up again? And dinner?” I glance at him standing in the door. He looks young and lost again, like he did last night. I so rarely see him like that, and it’s impossible to resist.

  “Yeah.” I heave out a loud sigh, and I’m rewarded with Jace’s heart-stopping smile. Just shoot me.

  I hear Gran lecturing Jace while I pull on a pair of dark skinny jeans and a knit sweater.

  “Young man, I don’t know what you’re up to but it’s messin’ with my granddaughter so you better clean up your act. You know I’m here for you, but you gotta wisen’ up. Getting into a little trouble is healthy and you always were a bit of a trouble maker. But now I’m thinking you’ve been getting into some bad trouble. So get your shit together Jace Wilder.”

  “Yes, ma’am,” Jace says. “I know what you’re sayin’.”

  “Good.”

  They say a few more things to each other that I can’t hear before the front door closes. A few minutes later, I’m brushing my teeth when I hear Ryan chatting with Gran in the kitchen. I haven’t fully recovered from Jace being here. Ryan’s newfound familiarity in our kitchen, so close to when Jace was here, is unnerving.

  Gran hands me my lunch box and a cream cheese bagel for breakfast.

  “I thought I saw Jace walking down the sidewalk when I pulled in,” Ryan says when we’re in his car.

  “Oh, yeah. He was at our house.” Shoot. I know this isn’t going to sound good. “It’s a long story.” I take a bite of bagel to give myself a second to gather my thoughts.

  “Oh?” Ryan prompts.

  “Don’t freak out, okay? Jace was kind of fucked up last night and I didn’t want to leave him alone so he crashed at our house.”

  I peek at Ryan, and the hurt look on his face is like a kick in the gut. “I thought you guys weren’t really talking right now?”

  “We weren’t. But I think I need to be there for him. Nothing happened between us though, okay?” Yet, I feel guilty.

  Ryan pauses before he asks the question I know he doesn’t want to ask, and I don’t want to answer. “Where did he sleep?”

  “We don’t have a spare room, but we just slept.”

  “In your bed?” Ryan cringes, like it’s painful for him to ask.

  “Ryan, something is happening between us. With you and me, I mean.” I quickly amend, knowing he could easily jump to the wrong conclusion. “And I hope it can keep happening, even though I know it was easier when Jace and I weren’t speaking. But Jace is going to start being around again. Driving me to school, and dinner and stuff.”

  I don’t want Ryan to give up on us yet. I’ve already formed a strong attachment to him and it scares me how much I hate the idea of Ryan moving on to Lisa, or someone else.

  Ryan pulls into the senior parking lot. The radio is playing softly, and he sighs when he looks at me. His warm brown eyes harden with resolve. “Can I kiss you right now?” He asks.

  I don’t respond, but lean over the center console and gently brush my lips against his. He places his hands on either side of my face and softly kisses me back. He moves his head to the side, letting our lips slowly run along each other. His breath is warm against my skin. Ryan’s thumbs skims back and forth along my cheekbones, and I sigh into him, letting my head drop to his shoulder.

  “I’m going to be doing that a lot more, if that’s okay with you,” Ryan tells me.

  “Permission granted.”

  Chapter 16

  Even though the fainting episode is all over the Internet, none of my friends talk about it in the days leading up to Regionals. In fact, I think everyone must have decided not to get me worked about qualifying for Nationals because my friends seem to avoid any mention of the race. I appreciate the sentiment, and surprisingly, it does help keep me from obsessing about the race.


  After school each day, it’s just me, Ryan and Coach Tom at practice. Charlie offered to help pace me at workouts, but I could tell he was enjoying his afternoons off with Zoe so I told him not to worry about it. Ryan and I are enjoying are the extra time together too. The transition from friends to more-than-friends is surprisingly easy. It’s a natural development, and there aren’t any complications, aside from Lisa giving me dirty looks in the hallways.

  I can’t help but contemplate what a transition to more-than-friends would be like with Jace. There’s no question that it would come with a boatload of complications. Our different social circles being at the top of the list. Ryan’s hybrid social status - as a runner and a popular senior - makes being together easy.

  Ryan’s parents invite me over for a pasta dinner the night before Regionals. I’m bringing a plate of meatballs out to the dining room table when Kevin joins me.

  “So you’re Ryan’s girlfriend now, huh?” He asks.

  “Sort of. How do you feel about that?” I don’t know what else to say and it seems like he brought it up to give me his opinion anyway.

  “It’s cool. I like you way better than Katie. That was his girlfriend in California.”

  “Oh. Okay, well, that’s good I guess.” I’m not sure I want to know anything else about Katie. It’s enough that Ryan was with her for almost three years.

  “She was really mad they broke up,” Kevin says in a loud whisper. “My room was next to Ry’s and I could hear her sobbing and being all hysterical. It was funny.”

  “Kevin! That’s not funny. That’s sad. What if I cry and get hysterical if Ryan breaks up with me? I’d feel even worse knowing you would be laughing.”

  Kevin smirks. “It probably wouldn’t be funny if it was you. She was just a drama queen so it was different.” He shrugs. “Anyway, Ry would be an idiot if he broke up with you. But if he does, I’m happy to console you.” Kevin grins widely and I laugh. He’s pretty ballsy for a fourteen-year-old. I was under the impression he was shy, but I clearly pegged him wrong.

  On the way back to my apartment later that night, I tell Ryan, “Your brother told me he’ll console me if you ever break up with me. Looks like you’ve got some competition.” I nudge him lightly in the ribs.

  “And why would I break up with you?” Ryan asks.

  I shrug. “He said your old girlfriend didn’t take it well.”

  “Yeah, she really didn’t,” he says tiredly. “I think she thought we’d stay together when she went to college and then go on to get married.”

  “Does she still think that?” After all, it hasn’t been so long since they broke up.

  “I doubt it.” But he doesn’t sound so sure. “I’m sure she’s met tons of guys in college.”

  I can’t tell if I’m just being paranoid but I think I detect a note of regret in his voice.

  ***

  The sky is filled with dark clouds when we arrive at the course the next morning. It’s at a park south of Denver and I’ve never raced here before. I recognize a few of the girls from Colorado, but most of the people warming up are from other states. We are the furthest west state in the Midwest Region, and people flew in from places like Chicago, Cleveland, and Milwaukee. Some drove long distances from the Dakotas or Kansas. I almost feel guilty that Ryan and I got to sleep in our own beds and drove just one hour.

  Not to mention the advantage we have from living at altitude. Denver is the mile high city, and people traveling from sea level won’t be used to the oxygen deprivation.

  I inhale the cool air, and think about the course I just walked through. It’s incredibly hilly, and I like hills. The ominous clouds look like they’ll break at any moment, and I love to run in the rain. Everything seems to be in my favor.

  I adjust Jace’s friendship bracelet that I tied onto my wrist last night. No point in being stubborn about it. I’ll take any luck I can get.

  The storm doesn’t start gently. The boys race first and seconds after the gun goes off, a gust of wind blows across the course, bring with it sheets of rain. I jog over to Gran’s car, and we huddle inside with the heat cranked up. I wish I could cheer for Ryan, but it’s more important to stay dry and warm before my race.

  “The course is going to be completely torn up for my race,” I tell Gran.

  “That’ll be fun! You can get all muddy. Think of it like an obstacle course,” she says excitedly.

  “That’s actually pretty good advice for someone who has never run a mile in her life.” We exchange grins.

  I huddle under a tree a few minutes before the race starts. Coach finds me and tells me to triple knot my shoes. “Once they get wet, they’ll slide right off. I just saw a guy run by in nothing but his socks.”

  “Thanks, Coach.”

  “I’d give you a hug for luck Pep, but I’m drenched, and you’re still pretty dry.”

  I wait under the tree until the last possible second to toe the line. It’s a bit silly, since I’ll get drenched immediately. My teammates drove down to cheer for us, and I’m glad they had the foresight to dress appropriately. I hardly recognize them all bundled up in rain gear when they approach me.

  “Ryan won!” Omar exclaims.

  I grin. No one says anything about what place I need to get (top ten, I’m all too aware) to qualify for Nationals so I can go to San Diego with Ryan. But they wish me luck.

  “You love running in the rain, Pepper. Just do your thing!” Zoe encourages me.

  “Have fun out there,” Charlie tells me.

  “I will,” I say with a smile.

  “Hurry up already or you’ll miss the start!” Claire cries nervously.

  I laugh and wave to my friends before heading to the starting line. Not surprisingly, I feel like I’ve jumped in a pool with my clothes on before the race has even begun.

  Embrace it.

  I’m nearly taken out right at the start line. When the gun goes off, I dig my spiked cross shoes into the mud, but find that it’s hard to get a grip. There aren’t as many girls in the race as Districts or State, but with all the slipping and sliding, I still have to keep my elbows out to prevent getting knocked over. We spread out after a few hundred yards, but I’m wary that I could find myself on the ground this time around for a completely different reason.

  Just do your thing. I remember Zoe’s words as I settle in with the lead group. Coach and I didn’t really talk about a plan for this race, but I know what to do. Stay in the lead group as long as possible, and kick it up a notch at the end. We don’t know exactly where I’ll stand against the out of state girls, since I’ve never competed against them before.

  The pace isn’t too uncomfortable, but I can hardly make out the course in front of me, and I’m afraid I could trip at any minute. The mile markers aren’t visible through the pounding rain, and the noisy winds prevents me from hearing anyone on the sidelines call out splits.

  I’m guessing we’re at about a mile when my foot lands in a deep puddle. I sink into mud up to my knee, and when I pull my foot out, I’ve lost a shoe.

  The triple knots didn’t work.

  I don’t even consider stopping to put it back on. Who knows if I could even fish it out of the mud puddle? It might be lost forever. There’s no time to spare, and besides, I still have one shoe to help me maintain some traction.

  The grassy part of the course that I walked through an hour ago is now like a slip n’ slide. Charlie’s voice bounces through my head. Have fun out there.

  The rain soaks through my jersey so it clings to me like a second skin. I try not to let the sliding sock on my right foot mess with my balance as we wind down a hill. Leaning forward, the momentum helps me fly ahead of the pack with little effort.

  Two girls won’t let me take the lead, and when they pull in front of me at the bottom of the hill, I tuck in behind them. Their bodies protect me from the gusts of wind that threaten to knock us over. My ponytail whips around me head, and I focus on steadily moving forward and keeping my bal
ance.

  We’ve reached the last hill before the final stretch. I can just make out my teammates through the pounding rain. They are lined up along the steep incline, screaming my name.

  At that moment, the sliding sock on my right foot catch on a root, or something on the ground. I pitch forward face first, with no time to brace myself. I swallow a mouthful of mud, and I’m sure I’m completely covered in it. I scramble up quickly.

  The two girls have started up the hill, but I can still catch them. One is in a yellow uniform, and the other in red. The sock on my right foot has now come off, and I’m completely barefoot on my right foot. It’s actually easier to grip the ground now.

  Think of it like an obstacle course. Gran’s full of good advice. She’s probably freezing her butt off at the finish line, waiting for me to run by.

  I dig my feet into the mud and embrace the burning in my quads. The harder I push, the deeper the pain in my legs and my lungs. But I’m closing the gap with the two girls in front of me, and that makes it worth it.

  Just before reaching the top, the girl in the yellow uniform pitches forward and hits the ground. She’s back on her feet already when I pass her, but she’s lost her momentum. It’s not easy to regain on this terrain.

  I’m shoulder to shoulder with the girl in the red uniform when we hit the top of the climb. It’s a straight 100 meters to the finish. I can barely make out the finish line through my mud caked lashes, but it doesn’t matter. I’m not easing up.