No Bad Days

by J. Sterling

  I glared at him, wishing my eyes had the power to shoot darts so I could pummel him with hundreds of them at once. “I hate you!” I yelled with as much venom as I could muster so he’d believe it, even if I didn’t.

  “I was just fucking around,” he said.

  I set my jaw and glared past him, refusing to meet his stupidly perfect blue eyes. One look in them and they’d soften me, and I refused to be anything but tough in this moment. His fingertips touched the bottom of my chin and tilted it up.

  “Look at me, Jess,” he begged until my eyes finally found his.

  “What? I’m looking,” I said, my tone bitchy and annoyed.

  “I wasn’t being serious. Grand Master Paz is one of my favorite rappers, and I just wanted to talk to him. I’d called a minute before, and they asked me what I wanted to talk to him about. When I told them something stupid, they hung up on me. So I called back with something better. It’s all I could think of that might work.”

  My heart rate slowed its frantic pace as his words sank in. I relaxed a little as my anger faded; I wanted so badly to believe him.

  “Seriously?” I asked cautiously, not wanting to believe him if it wasn’t true.

  “I swear. It was just so I could talk to him. I didn’t mean it.” He shifted his weight. “I mean, unless you wanted to,” he suggested with a slight laugh, and I socked him in the shoulder as hard as I could. He threw his hands up in surrender. “Joking, Jess. Still joking. Stop hitting me.”

  A small smile took over my lips before I could stop it, and I felt myself leaning into him, the comfort of his body no longer something I wanted to resist. I believed him.

  Nick’s arms circled me as he pulled me against him and kissed the top of my head. “You would have known all of this already if you’d answered any of my calls last night. Or read my text messages.”

  “Yeah, well, I was too pissed.”

  “Because you’re stubborn.”

  “Maybe a little.” I had never wondered if I was stubborn or not, but in this moment I knew Nick was right. “But, come on. Put yourself in my shoes.”

  He gave me a big grin. “My girlfriend wants to have a threesome? I’m in.”

  “You’re a pig,” I blurted, pulling away from him.

  “I’m a guy,” he said with a shrug.

  I glanced around at the students still gathered around us, watching us with intense stares.

  Moving my mouth to his ear, I whispered, “All those people heard you last night. And if they didn’t hear you themselves, they heard from their friends. They all know what you said. You made me look like an idiot, and right now they’re all standing there judging me, thinking I’m stupid for forgiving you.”

  I focused on his mouth as I waited for a response, not wanting to see the glares being cast my way by all those who didn’t understand what had happened in the last ninety seconds.

  Nick looked around at the crowd before clearing his throat. “Morning, everyone. I’m sure by now you all heard me on the radio last night.” He paused when a few guys started cheering and hollering, and held a hand in the air for them to stop. “I’ve pretty much worshipped GMP since I was a kid, and I just wanted to talk to him. I didn’t mean what I said, so you can all stop judging Jess right now for still being with me. It was a fucking joke. This is the first and last time I’ll ever address my relationship with any of you, but I wanted to clear the air.” He looked down at me with a sincere smile. “For her sake. Now, leave us the fuck alone.”

  My insides were on fire at the combination of Nick’s declaration and my embarrassment at being the center of attention.

  “All better?” He gripped my waist and pulled me against him before lowering his lips to mine and kissing me in full view of anyone who was still around to watch.

  I groaned against his mouth. “Thanks for that.”

  Nick smirked as he moved away slowly. “Anything for you. What time are you done with class?”

  “Two hours.”

  “I’ll pick you up after.”

  He branded me with his lips one more time before heading in the opposite direction. You’d think I’d be used to him doing things like that by now, but the guy constantly left me dumbfounded and struggling to breathe.

  How could I go from such lows to such extreme highs so quickly? This relationship was exhausting at times, but so worth it.

  Hopeless

  Nick

  Never in all of my twenty-one years had I created the kind of spectacle that I did this morning with Jess. At least, not to my knowledge. And I never would have given that sort of speech for any other girl besides her. My feelings for Jess grew every day. I was finding it harder and harder to keep them in check, but I needed to.

  Falling for someone wasn’t part of the plan. My father would probably go into cardiac arrest if he knew about her. His romantic plans for me had always included the daughter of a wealthy business partner.

  Love didn’t factor into the equation, as he’d told me on more than one occasion. “Love doesn’t pay the bills, son. And it fades. You need a nurturer, someone who wants to take care of you, focuses on you, and gives you everything you need to succeed in business. In the end, it’s what you’ve built that matters, and if you happen to find some sort of love along the way, kudos to you.”

  I was convinced the guy had no heart, that all he cared about was money, and whatever got him more of it was all that drove him. He didn’t care who he hurt in the process, including me. When my father looked at me, all he saw was more ways to grow his empire. I’d never heard him give similar advice to Frank or Ryan when it came to their love lives, but apparently everything was different when it came to me.

  I could tell that Mom hated the way Dad tried to control me, but she never once stood up for me. Instead, she allowed him to set rules, restrictions, and parameters for my life, always sitting on the sidelines with her glass full. No matter how much my mom might end up loving Jess, and I knew she would absolutely adore her, it wouldn’t matter. Jess wasn’t wealthy, didn’t come from a prestigious enough background. She was “unsuitable.”

  No, my parents would both force me to end things. And it was the last thing I wanted to do.

  But right now, while I still had time before I graduated and started working for my old man, I planned to enjoy every second with Jess. I knew she thought that I’d grow tired of her the way I did all the other girls, but she had no idea how different she was from them. She was so normal, so fun.

  The girls I’d dated in the past reminded me too much of what my future was supposed to hold for me, all spoiled, entitled females who were used to being treated like princesses, or girls who never got enough attention from their daddy and were desperately aching to fill that void. It took me a few years to notice the pattern I had been setting for myself subconsciously, but once I realized what I was doing, I’d stopped.

  Which was why I was single when I did meet Jess. And why she made me feel things I’d never felt in my life, never been allowed to feel. It was also why I’d do anything for the girl, including apologizing on her behalf to the whole damn student body if I needed to. I’d make a fool of myself if it meant she’d forgive me.

  I started laughing when I thought about Jess slapping me. No girl had ever hit me before. I deserved it, for sure, but it had been worth it. Talking to Grand Master Paz was one of the greatest fucking moments in my life, and I’d do it all over again.

  Apology Accepted

  Jess

  Nick was waiting for me in the parking lot as I walked through it heading toward my apartment. I spotted him sitting in his black truck before he noticed me. When I knocked on the driver’s side window, he startled before opening the door.

  “Scared the shit out of me, Michaelson.”

  “Parking lots are super dangerous in the daytime,” I teased.

  He smacked my butt as I walked away. “I’m starving. Please tell me you’re hungry.”

  I glanced back at him. “I could definite
ly eat.”

  After turning the handle and finding it locked, I fished my keys from the bottom of my bag. I unlocked the door and tossed my stuff on the counter as Rachel came out of her room.

  “You’re home?”

  She looked around. “Obviously.”

  Laughing, I said, “The door was locked, so I just assumed you weren’t here.”

  Rachel sat on the couch as I passed by her.

  “I’ll be right back,” I said to both my roommate and my boyfriend before running into my room to change clothes.

  “So, Nick,” I heard Rachel say. “I heard all about your epic speech today. Addressing the crowd? Nice touch.”

  I tossed on a clean top and headed back out as Rachel gave me a wink followed by a pointed look that said she needed to hear all the details.

  Nick wrapped an arm around my waist. “Yeah, well. Didn’t want people thinking Jess was a—” He turned me around so that I faced him. “What’d you say, babe? An idiot?”

  I laughed, nodding in agreement.

  “Yeah. I didn’t want anyone to think Jess was an idiot for staying with me. But she got a good hit in there first,” he said, rubbing his cheek.

  “I heard about that too. The slap heard around campus.” Rachel covered her open mouth with a hand dramatically. “I’m shocked at your unladylike behavior, Jess.”

  I shrugged. “Hey, I never claimed to be a lady.”

  “I’ll say,” Nick said, still rubbing his cheek.

  I shoved at him. “All right, we’re going to get something to eat, and then I’ll be back. I think.” I glanced at Nick, not knowing what he had planned.

  “She’ll be back later. Much later.” He smiled before moving to give Rachel a quick hug good-bye.

  “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do,” she shouted as we neared the door.

  “That’s not very limiting, Rach,” I shouted back as I stepped outside.

  When we pulled into the nearly full parking lot of a local Italian restaurant known for having the best pizza and pasta in town, Nick glanced at me. “You like Italian, yeah?”

  I smiled. “What if I said no?”

  “I think part of me might die. Jess, this place is the best.”

  “I know it is. I love it here. The gnocchi.” I moaned like I was in heaven before kissing my fingertips and lifting them toward the sky.

  “Don’t moan like that unless I’m underneath you. Or on top of you. Or kissing you. Or touching you,” he said, his gaze lingering on my mouth.

  “I can’t help what good gnocchi does to me.” I licked my lips.

  “You’re trying to kill me,” he said before hopping out of his truck.

  When I turned to get out, he said, “Stay put,” so I stopped and waited as he opened my door and extended a hand to help me down.

  Such a simple thing, but it meant a lot to me. Guys didn’t do that kind of thing anymore. Those small gestures mattered; they truly did.

  We held hands as we entered through the red-and-white-checkered door, and once we were seated in a booth, it was as if no one else existed but the two of us. Nick had a way of making you feel like you were the most important person in the room. When his attention was focused on you, you felt invincible, larger than life, and important.

  “I’m really sorry again about last night,” he said.

  I cringed a little, wanting to forget the radio bit that I’d heard. “I know. God, I was so pissed.”

  “I know.” He pointed at his cheek. “Aren’t you going to apologize for striking me?”

  I laughed. “Striking you? No. You deserved it.”

  His jaw fell open. “Deserved it?” He started to say something else, but then stopped and shrugged one shoulder. “You’re right.”

  “I’m sorry, what did you say?” I smiled and leaned toward him, cupping my ear. “Could you repeat that, please?”

  “You heard me the first time, woman.” He leaned away from me, his eyes narrowed playfully.

  “No, I don’t think I did.”

  “I said you were right,” he mumbled, looking toward the floor as I laughed.

  The waiter greeted us, took our drink orders, and informed us of the specials that evening. Every word he spoke made me want to drool, but somehow I refrained. I loved food, and Italian was my weakness.

  After dinner, Nick reached across the table to cup my cheek. My eyes closed automatically at his touch. I tilted my face against his fingers, loving the strength and warmth they brought.

  “Let’s get out of here,” he whispered.

  My eyes flew open. “Your place or mine?”

  “Mine.”

  His response was quick, too quick, which caused me to panic. Nick lived in a fraternity house, where anything any of them did quickly became public knowledge. I didn’t want whatever was about to happen to be something that a bunch of guys I didn’t know talked about behind my back.

  “But you live at a frat house,” I said, trying to backpedal. “With like a hundred guys.”

  He barked out a laugh. “And?”

  “It’s embarrassing,” I admitted.

  “What is?” He cocked his head to the side, his blue eyes boring into mine.

  “There’s not really any privacy.”

  “Jess, I have my own room. No one will be around. And I’ll hurt anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable.”

  Nerves shot through me. I knew what this meant, going to his room, to his house. We hadn’t gone that far yet, but after all the emotions and stupid things we’d been through already, I couldn’t say that I wasn’t amped up, or unwilling to solidify our connection.

  Nick’s room had a back entrance, so no one even saw us going in, aside from the two guys who were playing some sort of drinking game on the front lawn. I’d been in Nick’s room before, but never with the silent anticipation of what was to come. We both knew it, but neither of us addressed it.

  Then he shocked me by pulling out two candles from somewhere in his closet, and lighting them. I couldn’t help but wonder how often he’d done that for a girl.

  “Stop, Jess,” he said, interrupting my thoughts.

  “What?” I sat gingerly on the edge of his bed as he placed one candle on his dresser and the other on the nightstand near me.

  “Stop thinking about who else has been in this room, or who else I’ve been with. Your emotions are written all over your face.”

  How the hell did he read me so well? Was I that transparent?

  “It was just the candles. They’re a nice touch,” I admitted.

  “I bought them the other day. For you. For us. I don’t pull them out for every girl who comes along, okay?”

  My breathing hitched. “Okay,” was all I could find the strength to say in response.

  “Do you believe me?”

  “Yes,” I answered without hesitation.

  I wanted to rush, my need and want for him overtaking every single one of my senses. In all my fantasies, Nick and I had ripped each other’s clothes off and scattered them on the floor in our haste to taste each other as quickly as possible. But the reality was so much better than anything my mind could cook up.

  Where I was inexperienced, he was more skilled. He refused to let me do anything without his help. And he implored me to take my time, all the while constantly reminding me to slow down.

  My clothes left my body a single item at a time, as did his. Neither of us removed anything without the other’s help. And each time a piece of my clothing was dropped to the floor, his eyes lit up like he’d never seen anything like me before. He stared in awe and appreciation. I’d never felt that way naked with a guy before. It was empowering.

  “You’re beautiful, so fucking beautiful. Do you know that?”

  As he kissed my exposed skin, I wondered how he’d gotten so good at this. Having sex was one thing, but being romantic about it was altogether different. The mere touch of his fingertips across my stomach sent flutters shooting through every nerve ending in my body. I’d had sex wit
h other guys before, but they were nothing compared to this. They seemed so immature, such a waste of time. Because this, this was something I’d been missing out on.

  Once we were both naked, Nick pulled me onto the bed and settled next to me. His fingers tangled in my hair as he kissed me slow and deep as if he didn’t want to stop. Each time our tongues touched, both chills and heat raced down my body. It was a blissful contradiction, all the feelings crashing into one another. I never wanted it to end.

  He positioned himself above me, our skin touching in all the places the clothes had just covered. When I felt the tip of him near my entrance, I stopped him, closing my mouth to end our kiss.

  “I’m not on the pill.”

  “That’s why I put this on,” he said, motioning toward the condom covering him.

  “When did you do that?” I asked, shocked that I had absolutely no idea when the hell he’d slipped that on.

  “Two seconds ago.” He smiled and leaned back down to kiss me. “Can I continue?”

  Nervous, I smiled back. “Yes.”

  I braced for him, not knowing at all how he would feel inside me. But like with everything else this evening, he took his time, clearly savoring every moment between us. He pushed inside me with care, moving inch by inch before giving one last thrust.

  I threw my head back, a moan escaping my lips at the feel of him. No longer concerned with how many guys were in the house or if they could hear me, my only thoughts were of Nick and this moment. The way he felt when he was inside me, I’d shout it from the rooftops when we finished.

  His hips moved back and forth and I rocked against him, trying to find our rhythm. The way our bodies moved together was like a perfectly timed slow dance. In the past, sex had been awkward—I had been uncomfortable and self-conscious, worried that I wasn’t good enough or pretty enough, but not with Nick. Nick made me feel sexy, made me feel wanted, and the way our bodies fit together felt right.