Fully Involved (Island Fire Book 3)

by Amy Knupp

  “Thanks.” Andie took the drink from him and sipped it.

  “You okay?” he asked, going back to the grill to flip the burgers.

  “Yeah.” Thank God this was Sean, the densest of the dense males who worked at the Shack. Kevin would’ve called an ambulance. “I’m fine now. Just get the food out.”

  Sean shrugged and carried on, and Andie was able to lean against the door. She willed her heart to slow down. Practiced the deep breathing exercises a red-haired new-agey woman had taught her at a hostel a couple years back.

  Finally, she stood and eased herself to the doorway between the kitchen and the main bar.

  “Everything okay tonight?” she asked Kevin when he moved to the drink prep area.

  “Insanely busy but yeah.”

  “Need anything?” She couldn’t help glancing out where she’d seen Trevor.

  “We’re low on a bunch of things, but we’ll make it to closing.”

  She nodded, relieved. “Call me if you need me. Otherwise, see you tomorrow.”

  “See you.”

  Andie made her way slowly to the door, checking for Trevor from the safety of the building before venturing out onto the patio again.

  The table he’d been sitting at was now empty. She searched the area for him but didn’t see him anywhere. Thank God. But then … it was almost worse knowing he was out there somewhere but not knowing where.

  She scanned the parking lot and the shadows, not wanting to lead Trevor to Clay or Payton or the house they all lived in. When she’d convinced herself there was no one hiding in the dark corners, she hurried for the truck, attempting to look like nothing had just scared the shit out of her.

  oOo

  Andie was still rattled at ten forty-five that night. As they’d planned, Clay had waited until Payton fell asleep, and then he’d called Andie to come upstairs. They’d figured Payton would drift off faster if Andie wasn’t around.

  She dug out a hoodie to throw over her tank and jeans, remembering how cold Clay kept his place. Earlier, she’d washed off her makeup and let her hair down. She glanced in the mirror, not really worried about how she looked. This was her, and Clay knew that.

  When he opened his door, she sank into his arms, pushing her ex from her mind and trying only to savor the man who held her. She must’ve held on too long, though, because he asked, “Everything okay?”

  “Fine.” She pulled away and sat on the couch.

  He studied her and she sat up straighter, doing her best to smile.

  “I thought we could go out on the balcony. Enjoy the night. It’s perfect now.”

  “Sure.”

  Clay opened the door for her. He left it open so he could hear if Payton woke up.

  Andie stood at the railing looking down into the dark backyard and into all the yards around them. It hit her how visible they were here.

  “Could we turn the light off?” she asked, gesturing toward the single bulb by the door.

  He switched it off, making it a lot darker, though the lamp in the living room still illuminated them more than Andie wanted. She wanted to believe she was being paranoid, but Trevor had tracked her down from Illinois to the southern tip of Texas. He must have figured out she worked at the Shell Shack, because she’d seen him there twice. It wasn’t a stretch that he might’ve figured out where she was staying.

  Clay came up behind her and slid his arms around her, tucking his chin on her shoulder. She closed her eyes and fought to forget their potential for an audience. She breathed in the smell of him, relishing his strong arms around her. They stayed that way for several minutes, and Andie was almost able to convince herself everything was as it should be.

  Clay nipped and kissed her ear and neck, then turned her around to kiss her lips. That was all it took to get Andie’s full attention. All her thoughts slid away.

  “You know,” he said huskily, “this is a lot of fun but we should probably talk first.”

  His tone was too serious. Talking in situations like this was never a good idea. She tried to distract him by kissing him again, which worked for about thirty seconds.

  “Andie.”

  “Clay.”

  “Today’s been unbelievable. I got custody of Payton; my dad came around. How often does all that happen?”

  She smiled, genuinely thrilled for him on both counts. “Maybe you should buy a lottery ticket.”

  He brushed her hair back from her face and stared into her eyes. “I had a different gamble in mind, and I’m hoping the odds are better.”

  “Yeah?” Her nerves stretched taut as she guessed where he was going next.

  “Yeah.”

  Her heart felt like it might hammer right out of her chest.

  “I love you, Andie. I know you’ve been hurt in the past and you have a hard time trusting people…”

  “Uh-huh,” she said, swallowing hard around the lump in her throat. He loved her. “Clay—”

  “Something’s bothering you, scaring you. You can tell me anything. It won’t change the way I feel about you.”

  “I’m leaving in a couple days.”

  He pressed his forehead to hers. “You could stay. But … you have to let me in completely for this to work. Let yourself get fully involved.”

  Andie wanted to. So badly. Wanted to tell him about Trevor, that he was on the island, that he was fixated on her enough to track her down. But then she’d have to tell him all the other stuff too. Their history. Her stupidity. Naiveté. Gullibility. Whatever you wanted to call it. The fact was she couldn’t talk about it. Couldn’t let anyone else know the parts of her life that still shamed her so completely. Because sharing that would expose her, make her vulnerable. Trusting Clay that much, telling him everything … no. He only thought he loved her enough.

  “It’s not going to work, Clay.” She blinked away tears that had suddenly appeared.

  “Why don’t you trust me?”

  “I don’t trust anyone.” She lowered her gaze to the floor when she said it.

  He let go of her and turned away, obviously frustrated.

  “I’m sorry, Clay. I … care about you. A lot.” She couldn’t say love. Whether she did or not — and maybe she did — it didn’t matter. Because she couldn’t trust. Wouldn’t let herself.

  Abruptly he went inside and began picking up the sizable pile of crayons Payton had left on the floor. One by one, he threw them into the box, his back to Andie.

  She sat on the arm of the couch. “I never wanted this to happen. It’s why I tried to scare you off that first night, when you kissed me.”

  He didn’t say anything, just kept throwing crayons. When the mess was cleaned up, he set the box on the stairs to Payton’s room. Slowly he turned to stare at her.

  “You’re scared,” he said in a quiet, measured voice. “I understand that. But at some point you have to take a chance on somebody, Andie. Otherwise you’re going to be alone.”

  “That’s my plan,” she said. “It may suck to be alone, but it beats the hell out of being hurt.”

  “I’d never hurt you. I’m not the guy who hit you.”

  “I know that, Clay. I don’t mean you would hurt me physically. Maybe you wouldn’t hurt me at all … but I can’t take that chance.”

  He studied her for several more seconds. “Then I guess there’s nothing else to say.”

  Andie nodded, struggling to keep every hint of emotion off her face. She took in a shaky breath, turned, and walked out the door.

  oOo

  Clay fell into the beanbag chair in front of the TV and turned on a video game. His jaw was clenched so tight it throbbed. He settled back with the most mindless, violent game he owned.

  He was in the mood to kill things.

  He’d known Andie would be tough to crack. Had known from the beginning, thanks to her frankness, that she had layers of issues to overcome before she could be in a relationship.

  He was an idiot, plain and simple. He’d thought it was good enough between them
that she’d want to try.

  Obviously, he’d been a thousand percent wrong. She’d told him he needed to learn to trust himself. Well, he’d proven he was better off not.

  He should be happy, over the fucking moon, because today had been an incredible day. His daughter. His dad.

  But he wanted more.

  He wanted it all.

  Two out of three was damn hard to swallow.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  The moment Andie had been dreading for four years came at 9:47 p.m. Friday.

  She’d stumbled through the past twenty-four hours in the funk to beat all funks. Missing Clay. Feeling terrible when she recalled the hurt in his eyes before she’d walked out. Suffering the worst kind of regret that she wasn’t the woman for him, wasn’t able to be what he wanted.

  Her shift was almost over … the last shift she was scheduled to work. Macey and Derek would be back in town tomorrow. Then Andie would be free.

  She’d gone into the back room to open a box of napkins when her cell phone rang in her purse. Her first mistake was answering it, but if she was honest, some part of her had hoped it was Clay. He had no reason to call her, but that’s what went through her head. That’s what made her stop what she was doing and dig out her phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Andie.” The rough male voice was familiar.

  A chill went through her even though it’d topped one hundred degrees outside today. She made a beeline for the door, away from Sean, who was at the grill, away from the crowd, out into the muggy evening.

  “Hello? I know you’re there, angel.”

  Bile burned her throat at the pet name he’d always called her.

  “What do you want, Trevor?” she choked out, walking blindly away from the bar and everything that might give her comfort. This was her hell and she’d handle it by herself.

  “After all this time, that’s the greeting I get?”

  She could hear a smile in his voice. She picked up a rock and nailed the side of the hotel’s dumpster with it. Her hand shook — actually, her whole body shook.

  “Get to your point or I’m hanging up.”

  “I need to see you.”

  Andie could swear her heart stopped. She fell to her knees in the sand.

  “Andie? I didn’t scare you off, did I?”

  She couldn’t let him know how much he scared her. “No.”

  “We have unfinished business.” He paused and she squeezed her eyes shut. “Please.”

  “We don’t have any business, Trevor. Ancient history.”

  That wasn’t altogether true though. She had to face up to him one last time. Had to show herself she could do it. If she didn’t, he’d keep bothering her. She’d have to keep eluding him.

  “I won’t hurt you, Andie. We can meet in public.”

  She bent forward over her knees, resting her head on the ground.

  “You still there?”

  “I’m here,” she said, her voice hoarse. “When and where?”

  “Tomorrow. Noon. There’s an outdoor bar at the Casa Del Mar.”

  “Fine.” She ended the call and sat up, staring off at the foamy white outline of the waves in the moonlight. Fighting the nausea by taking in long, cleansing breaths.

  By the time she’d stopped shaking and thought she could hide the tempest inside her, it was after ten and her shift was over. She made her way back to the Shack to tell Sean and Kevin good-bye. After she met with Trevor tomorrow, she was leaving.

  For the first time in her life, she didn’t yet have at least a vague idea of where she’d be going.

  oOo

  Twelve hours later, Andie hadn’t been home yet. She hadn’t slept or eaten. Couldn’t have done either if she’d tried.

  What she had done was walk. Miles. Down the beach all the way to the jetty. Around to the bay side. Up past the bridge to the mainland. All the way north on the island to Turtle Town.

  One of the turtle caretakers had pulled up at seven a.m. and found Andie at the fence, peering in at the viewing windows of the biggest outdoor turtle tanks.

  The workers all knew Andie by name from when her bike was in the shop. Yolanda had let her come in this morning and help with the chores. Feeding the turtles was calming. Watching them swim around their tanks, soothing.

  But after helping for two and a half hours, she figured she better leave before anyone started wondering why she was hanging out for so long.

  With every step she took away from Turtle Town, her fear came back in nauseating Technicolor.

  She absolutely had to face Trevor. But she didn’t have to face him alone. Did she?

  It wasn’t that she was afraid he would hurt her physically. As he’d said, they were meeting in public, and Andie knew enough self-defense now that he would never overpower her like he had in the past. That and she’d have her gun with her. Loaded.

  While she was confident of her physical capabilities though, she was terrified he would cut through her mental ones. Why had she ever stayed with him after the first time he’d knocked her around? She’d loved him once. Would seeing him again negate all the progress she’d made toward getting her confidence and her self-esteem back?

  She’d concluded at some point in the night that she couldn’t see him alone. Clay was the only one besides Jonas who knew anything about Trevor. Of course, he was the last person she wanted to ask, and he’d probably tell her exactly where she could go.

  When she returned to the duplex, she packed her bags and got everything ready to go. The last thing she did was load her gun and put it into the small backpack she used instead of a purse. Then she went upstairs, empty-handed.

  She knocked on the door, heart pounding.

  No one answered and her nerve slipped a little.

  She knocked again. Two times. A third. Tried the doorknob but it was locked.

  Now what? She didn’t have a plan B yet.

  She went down both sets of stairs toward her bike, not sure where she was heading or where to look for Clay but not ready to concede yet that he wouldn’t accompany her. Her shoulders sagged.

  As she went to the garage for her Harley, noting the truck parked there and wondering where Clay and Payton could’ve gone on foot, she heard a noise in the distance. Another Harley coming down the main road. Turning onto Seagull. Toward her. She turned to see what it was that approached — something older than hers but bigger, she could tell by the sound.

  A bright blue Fat Boy came around the corner, carrying two people. It looked maybe ten years old but was in good condition. The sound of the engine was like a lullaby.

  Belatedly, she took note of the riders. A man and a girl, both wearing helmets. Her hope soared as she realized who it was.

  Clay pulled up on the driveway and stopped close to the garage, on the opposite side from her.

  “Miss Andie!” Payton squealed. “Look at us!” She yelled it over the sound of the engine before Clay turned it off.

  “Hey, Pay.” She let her eyes roam over the motorcycle. “You got a bike,” she said stupidly, now focusing more on the people than the machine.

  Clay nodded, eyebrows raised, clearly wondering what she wanted.

  “I didn’t even know you could ride.”

  “Part of my dark and troubled past,” he said.

  Payton squirmed to get down and Andie helped her off. The little girl took her helmet off and ran to the garage to put it on a shelf.

  “Do you have a minute?” she asked, scuffing her feet on the driveway.

  He took several seconds to answer. “I suppose I do. What do you need?”

  His tone toward her was different now. Less personal. Colder. Even though she’d been the one to walk away, it made her sad.

  “Do you want to go upstairs?” She looked down the street, feeling exposed out here.

  Clay shrugged. “Payton’s getting the sidewalk chalk. Down here’s fine.” He climbed off the bike and ambled to the back of the truck. He released the tailgate and sat on it. An
die wouldn’t let herself watch the way he moved or remember how that body felt. She’d given that up, and thinking about it now would crush her at the soul level.

  oOo

  Clay stole a careful look at Andie while she studied the ground. She looked like hell. Black jeans, the usual boots, black body-hugging T-shirt, and the same gray hoodie she’d been wearing the other night tied around her waist. Her hair looked stringy and tangled. Shadows under her eyes told him she’d slept about like he had last night and, hell, the night before too.

  She could roll through the dirt and get in a fist fight and he’d still want nothing more than to pull her to him and never let her go.

  Dammit.

  “What do you want, Andie?”

  She looked up at him, startled.

  “Is something wrong?”

  She hesitated, then leaned against the tailgate. “You know the ex I told you about?”

  He made sure Payton was far enough she wouldn’t overhear this conversation. “The bastard who hurt you?”

  “That’s the one.” Andie folded her arms across her chest. “He’s on the island. I’m supposed to meet him today.”

  “What the hell for?” He clenched his hands into fists.

  “No idea. But I need to do it. For … closure, or something.”

  Nothing good could come of that, but he didn’t air his opinion. It was no longer his right. Hadn’t ever been, come to think of it.

  “So I decided to do it, but I don’t want to go alone.” She rushed through the last words so that he could barely make out what she said.

  “If you’re looking for my opinion, you should take a SWAT team and have them take him out. Do the world a favor.”

  The corner of her lips that he could see from this angle curved upward slightly.

  “No one else knows about him here.”

  “You haven’t told Macey and Selena?”

  She shook her head. “It’s embarrassing.”

  He didn’t want to care about her, didn’t want to worry about her, but he did and he would. He couldn’t just shut that off. “I’ll go with you.”