In Love with the King's Spy (Hidden Identity)

by Colleen French

  He heard the catch in her voice and it reverberated in his own heart. He felt so damned useless. All he wanted to do was take her away, make her his own. But he couldn't, not now, not yet. He was too close to finding the snake. Despite his overwhelming desire to protect and care for Julia, his commitment to His Highness still gripped him. Griffin pressed his lips to hers again. "If you would tell me what's wrong, maybe I could help."

  She turned over on her side to face him and brought her mouth to his. "Hush. We haven't much time before the household awakes, so if you intend to ravish me"—she was already breathing heavier—"do it now."

  Griffin welcomed her hot, wet mouth on his. He'd missed her so badly these last few weeks, wanted her so badly . . . It was all he could do to concentrate on his work. It was all he could do to hear what the king said when he spoke.

  His Majesty had already given him permission to take his leave when this was all over. Once the ring of traitors had been discovered, Griffin would take Julia away from England, somewhere far from here, where no one would know she had a husband. He would take her sister, too.

  "I love you, I love you, I love you," Julia whispered, drawing her lips over his chest.

  Griffin groaned as she caught his nipple between her teeth and tugged. Over the years he'd bedded many women, but no one had touched him like this. No one had ever loved him as his Julia did.

  Griffin reached with both hands to caress her full breasts as she climbed onto his chest, kissing, rubbing, teasing.

  Already he was rock hard. Ready. But they made love so infrequently. He wanted it to last for hours, until dawn, until sunset.

  She must have sensed his urgency because she shifted astride him.

  "Oh, no," he said huskily. "Not yet."

  She ground her groin against his. "You don't care for this, my lord?"

  "Oh, I care for it, but I care for this, too."

  Griffin flipped Julia over onto her back, and she had to cover her mouth with her hand to keep from laughing aloud. She didn't know what had possessed her to come tonight. After what Simeon had said in the hallway, she should have stayed as far from Griffin as possible. But suddenly she felt as if time were running out. She was beginning to fear that either she would not make it out of here alive, or that once she escaped, she'd never see Griffin again. The weight of impending doom had sent her through the darkness of the corridors from her chambers to Griffin's.

  Julia sank back in the warm bed linens and sighed with pleasure as Griffin ran his hands over her breasts and down her rib cage.

  As fingers of pleasure curled around her limbs, she wondered what Griffin would think if she told him she might be with child. He had mentioned children. Surely he would be pleased. But she knew he would also be afraid for her. Knowing she was pregnant might affect his duty to the king. Julia never wanted to feel responsible for taking him from his duty.

  Griffin kissed her navel and she tightened the muscles of her abdomen, feeling the warmth of his touch lower. With a soft groan she threaded her fingers through his silky blond hair.

  But he deserves to know, she thought, drifting with the tide of pleasure. Of all the things I've kept from him, this is the one thing I have no right to keep.

  Griffin's warm mouth met with the soft down of curls at the apex of her thighs, and all reason slipped from her mind. I'll tell him, she thought. Later . . .

  Julia heard Griffin sigh and she relaxed against the pillows, giving herself fully to him. For once she didn't worry about being caught. What if this was the last time?

  The warm tip of his tongue sent a shock through her entire body, and she grasped the knotted bed linens piled around them. Waves of sensation washed over her. He always knew just how to touch her, how fast, how slow . . .

  Julia moaned. She felt his fingers, massaging, delving . . . It was too fast . . . too soon . . .

  She arched her back and surrendered to his touch with a shuddering cry of relief.

  Griffin muffled her groans with his mouth, sharing the taste of their lovemaking. He whispered her name in her ear. He told her he loved her.

  But still Julia wasn't satiated.

  She parted her thighs, lifting up to move against him.

  "Greedy witch," he teased. But he knew what she wanted . . . what she expected.

  As he slipped inside her, she pulled on his neck and brought his mouth down hard against hers. She arched her hips, taking him in fully as she thrust her tongue into his mouth. They kissed until they were both breathless and gasping for air.

  "Julia, Julia," Griffin panted in her ear.

  "Griffin."

  He sensed her burning need and drove deeper, faster.

  She wanted it to last forever, but it was over in seconds. Julia rose and fell over the precipice, taking Griffin with her.

  When they had both caught their breaths, he rolled off her and onto his side.

  Little bursts of pleasure still exploded inside her as she rolled onto her side and snuggled her buttocks against his groin. Griffin wrapped his arms around her waist, his hand on one breast, and pulled her even closer.

  "I'll get you out of this, and we'll be together," he promised softly. "Soon. You just have to be patient with me."

  "How soon?" she whispered when she could find her voice.

  "Very soon." He kissed a damp spot behind her ear and pushed up on one elbow. "Why? Simeon hasn't shown up in your bedchamber, has he? I know I said I wouldn't kill him in cold blood, but if he—"

  "No. He avoids my bedchamber as if it were plagued. Only . . ." She hesitated to go on. She wanted to tell him about the baby. She wanted to tell him about her premonition of doom. She wanted to tell him she was afraid not just for herself, but for all of them.

  "He doesn't suspect?" Griffin rolled her onto her back.

  In the darkness she could only make out the outline of his face. His breath was warm on her lips. Should she tell him what Simeon had said? Why worry him? She could do enough fretting for the both of them. "I don't think so. But there's something else. Something more pressing."

  He still held her in his arms. "Yes?"

  "Perhaps . . ." She lowered her lashes, suddenly feeling shy. "Perhaps I'm with child."

  The moment she waited for his reaction seemed an eternity. But then, even in the darkness, she saw his smile. "A child?" he breathed, as if it were a miracle.

  "Surely you knew it was possible." She smiled back. "This is how you make babies, my lord."

  "Oh, Julia, that's wonderful. A bit earlier than planned, but wonderful." He released her suddenly and sat up. "But I have to get you out of here. If Simeon discovers—"

  "How would he discover anything? Drusilla is the only one who could possibly suspect, and she'd never tell." She caught his hand and pulled him down beside her again. Suddenly she felt it was her place to reassure him. To comfort him. "We have time."

  He grimaced. "I don't like it. I need to get you out of here. Today."

  "I'm not going."

  She couldn't see the crease in his forehead, but she knew from the tone of his voice that he was frowning. "What do you mean you're not going? I've been meaning to talk to you about this. It's the right thing to do. I should have done it sooner. I'll find a safe haven, and join you when my work here is done."

  "I'm afraid to take Lizzy anywhere right now. She's still so fragile. She wouldn't fare well traveling by ship or coach. She laid in bed so long that it tires her to walk the length of our sitting room."

  "And you won't leave without her." His deflated words were a statement, not a question, because Griffin knew Julia too well.

  "A few weeks, and she'll be better, stronger. That will give us time to make arrangements."

  He laid back on the pillow and tucked one arm beneath his head. With the other arm, he drew her close. "That was what you wanted the money for. You were going to try to escape—without my help. Without telling me."

  "I would have told you, but I thought it would be better if I did it myself. I w
on't come between you and the king. He needs you."

  He squeezed her arm. "You need me," he said heavily.

  "And there'll be time enough for both." She spoke with such confidence that she was nearly able to convince herself. Julia understood Griffin's sense of responsibility. He needed to see his duty through with the king. She didn't want Griffin to ever have any regrets.

  He hesitated. "I don't know." He ran one hand through his tumbling hair. "I don't like it."

  "Like it or not, it's the best we can do. The safest for all of us." Julia kissed his cheek and climbed out of his warm bed into the chilly morning air. Gooseflesh covered her skin as she reached for her night rail on the floor. "I have to go. Tonight's the big birthday ball. We have to keep up appearances until the very end."

  Julia froze at the light tap on the door. Lena was not here. It wasn't her this time. Then Julia realized the knock had come not from the outside door that led to the main corridor, but from an inside door that led to a dressing room.

  "It's all right, it's Jabar," he soothed. He sat up in bed. "Come in."

  Jabar entered the dark bedchamber, carrying a candle.

  Julia squinted as her eyes adjusted to the light. "Good morning, Jabar." He was an odd man, but she liked him. She liked him because Griffin did, and because she knew he protected Griffin.

  "My lady," Jabar said in his satiny voice. "A message, my master." He offered a small silver tray with a sealed note upon it. "Just arrived."

  Griffin accepted the missive and waited for Jabar to light the candles beside his bed. "The lady wishes to return to her chambers unseen. See her there."

  "Yes, my master."

  Julia heard Griffin break the wax seal of the message as she turned to go. As he took a deep breath, she turned around. "What is it? What's wrong?"

  He stared at the note in his hand, his face suddenly pale despite the shadow of a beard. "Lena," he said.

  Julia started back for the bed. "What? Lena's ill?"

  His hand fell to his side. "Dying. Her heart."

  "Oh no, not Lena." Julia felt an overwhelming sense of sadness. Lena meant so much to Griffin. Julia hated to see him hurt.

  "It was sent in the middle of the night. She may already be dead."

  "But perhaps not." Julia grabbed the bed linens and threw them back. "You have to go to her—now."

  He crumpled the message in his hand, in obvious mental agony. "But I can't leave you here. Not knowing . . ."

  "Don't be ridiculous. I've known for weeks. Nothing has changed except that now you know. You have to go to her, Griffin. Lena needs you. She's your wife, for heaven's sake."

  He sighed heavily. "Not really my wife, but—"

  "Really your wife. You love each other far more than most of the married couples in London. Lena is who is important now. I'll be fine. I told you, we've months before there's anything to fear." She turned to his manservant. "Jabar, get him traveling clothes and something to eat. Call for his horse. You go with him. He shouldn't be traveling alone."

  Jabar moved without waiting for Griffin's approval.

  "Griffin, you haven't time to waste feeling sorry for any of us." Julia tugged at Griffin's hand and stood him up. "Lena needs you."

  "I don't want to leave you."

  "What harm can he do me today? It's his blessed birthday!" She wrapped her arms tightly around his waist and hugged him.

  Griffin slowly tightened his grip and hugged back. "I'll be back as soon as I can. I swear it."

  "Give her my love." She kissed him, wiping a single tear that trickled from the corner of her eye. She knew it seemed preposterous that she should be sad that her lover's wife was dying. But these were preposterous circumstances, weren't they?

  Charlie curled around her bare ankles and then Griffin's.

  "Oh, the cat," he said, exasperated. "I may be gone a couple of days. Who's going to feed the damned cat?"

  "I'll take him." Julia lifted the black cat into her arms and headed for the door. "I have to go. It will be daylight soon. If a messenger has come, someone's awake in the household already."

  "I'll see you as soon as I return." Griffin walked her to his door.

  She lifted up on her tiptoes, the cat cradled in her arms, and kissed Griffin lightly on the lips. She hated to see him distraught with worry. It made him look so much older. "It's going to be all right," Julia whispered on her way out the door that Jabar held open for her. "We're going to be all right."

  She only wished she felt as confident as she sounded.

  Jabar saw Julia safely to her chambers. She closed the door behind her and released the cat into the semidark sitting room off her sleeping chamber; it sprang to the floor and disappeared beneath a chair.

  Lizzy appeared sleepily in the doorway. The sun was just beginning to rise, illuminating the bedroom, but still leaving the inner sitting room in darkness. Lizzy looked like a blond angel with the first rays of golden light behind her. "Are you all right, Julia?"

  Julia lifted her hands to her cheeks, wondering if she was flushed. "I'm fine. Just couldn't sleep."

  Lizzy rubbed her still sleepy eyes. "Is the Baron Archer well? He's not sick or hurt is he?"

  Julia stared at her sister. "Why do you ask?"

  Lizzy shrugged her shoulders as she walked toward the fireplace, the hem of her white sleeping gown trailing behind her. She lit a lamp on the mantel with a straw. "You came from his room. You look worried. You've looked worried a lot lately."

  That was the most Julia had heard Lizzy say in two months. "How . . . How did you know that's where I've been?" There was no need denying it. Lizzy apparently already knew the truth and didn't seem alarmed.

  Lizzy lit another oil lamp and then began to stoke the fire. "I sleep with you, Sister. You think I don't know when you get up in the middle of the night and come back in the morning?" She rolled her eyes, then giggled. "I certainly didn't think you were going to the earl's bed."

  Despite her better sense, Julia laughed aloud. Her sister's revelation wasn't funny. If Lizzy knew, Drusilla knew. She prayed it stopped there. On one hand she was concerned that Lizzy knew her secret. How long could she keep it? On the other hand, she was relieved to see Lizzy acting like herself again.

  "Let's not talk about this right now." She picked up a silver-handled hairbrush Lizzy had left on the chair last night, and began to brush her hair. "I'm not ready to talk about Griffin."

  "Just tell me when you want to." Lizzy swung a pot of water for tea on a spider over the stoked coals. "I understand about loving a man you're not supposed to love."

  Lizzy sounded so innocent, so childlike in one way, and yet so experienced and all-knowing in another. In a way, it was a shock for Julia. Suddenly she was beginning to see her in a different light. "I'm so glad you're talking again, Lizzy. I'm glad to have you back."

  "I'm not sad anymore," she said triumphantly.

  "No?"

  Lizzy shook her head, grinning. "No."

  "Can I ask why?"

  Lizzy looked up from beneath a veil of blond lashes. "Can I ask how the baron is beneath the sheets?"

  Shocked, Julia's eyes widened. "Lizzy! Indeed not! That's personal, and certainly not something young ladies discuss."

  Lizzy sashayed away. "Then you can't ask why I'm not sad." She headed through the doorway, back toward their bedchamber. "But you'll know soon."

  Flabbergasted, Julia shook her head. She didn't have time for Lizzy's nonsense now, but sooner or later she'd get to the bottom of this. She just prayed her sister's happiness didn't involve another man. She wasn't sure either of them could survive it.

  "Lizzy, we've a lot to do today to prepare for the earl's ball. Guests will be arriving by noonday." She followed her into their sleeping chamber, still running the brush through her hair. It had gotten so tangled when she and Griffin were making love. "I could really use your help if you feel up to it, but I want you to rest so you can attend the ball. Drusilla's already picked out the prettiest gown. Perhaps
you'll even catch the eye of a gentleman." She didn't think any lord would serious consider courting Lizzy, but the idea might interest her. She winked. "You never know."

  Lizzy made no response, but pulled back the brocade drapes that partially covered the window. She leaned on the sill, as deep as Bassett Hall's three-foot-thick stone walls. "There he goes."

  "Who?"

  "Baron Archer and his black man." Lizzy waved. "They're going somewhere on their horses fast. Will the baron be back in time for the ball? Everyone likes it when the baron comes. He's funny. And his clothes are so funny." She giggled into her palm.

  Julia pulled the brush through her hair, unable to resist a smile at the thought of Griffin. Maybe everything really was going to be all right. He was happy about the possibility of a baby. He wanted to take her and Lizzy away from here, to be with her forever. Even if they could never be legally wed, they could be together far from Bassett Hall and St. Martin. Maybe they would go to the Caribbean islands, or even the American Colonies.

  "No, I don't think he'll be back tonight. His wife is very ill."

  "I'm sorry." Lizzy hung on the sill. "But if she dies, it will be easier to wed the baron." Matter-of-factly, she flipped back one of her thick blond braids over her shoulder. "Soon as you get rid of you-know-who."

  Julia didn't know where Lizzy was getting her ideas. But it was quickly becoming apparent that Lizzy knew more than Julia gave her credit for. And she certainly paid closer attention to the world around her than Julia realized.

  "Come out of the window," Julia said, hoping once again to change the subject. She wasn't ready to talk about the possibilities for the future, not even with her sister. Not yet. "It's drafty. Let's dress and get to our tasks. I told you, we've a lot to do if we're to be ready for the birthday ball tonight."

  Lizzy swung around away from the window, and her eyes were suddenly wide and frightened.

  Julia halted the hairbrush in mid-stroke. Someone was behind her . . .

  She turned, her heart sinking to her knees. She already knew who it was. How could she not? There was no mistaking the overpowering stench of garlic.