by Mary Wine
The blood drained from Janette’s face. For the first time in her life, she felt like collapsing into a faint to escape the horror.
“Well, now, I see the morning milk is gone sour,” Lykos said as he strode into the room. He looked at Galene. “It would be kind of you to recall the lengths we went to, to recover your granddaughter before you make us out as villains.”
Janette’s hands had gone cold; she only noticed when Darius shifted his attention to the way she was rubbing them. For a moment, regret flickered in his eyes.
“Janette has the right to know,” Galene insisted.
“Agreed,” Darius said. “Just as she has the right to know leaving with you would be exactly what Dr. Nerval would expect.”
“Which is why I told the lot of you that I intend to challenge that exam. Today.”
Everyone turned to stare at her.
“Don’t be foolish, Janette. You will need time to prepare,” Darius said.
“You do not know everything about me, Mr. Lawley.” Janette enjoyed the way her formal address made him draw in a stiff breath. “The fact is, my mother may never have told me of my heritage because she promised my father she wouldn’t, but that didn’t stop her from directing my education. She snuck in more than one tutor under the disguise of scripture teacher.”
Surprise appeared on Darius’s face.
“Yes. You see, Sophia is one of my only friends because she is the only one who can hold a decent conversation.”
And suddenly everything made sense. The insistence of her mother that she could master higher mathematics when all the girls she met at parties were told it was for men. The special tutors arriving to teach her about the cosmos when only Sophia had any notion who Galileo was. In her secretive way, her mother had taught her everything.
“I am ready.”
Galene beamed, but it was the way Darius’s eyes darkened that fascinated her. She’d only glimpsed fragments of passion before. Now it was there, in full blaze while he did nothing to hide his interest. It would seem she had finally impressed the man.
At least so long as she didn’t give him a reason to kill her.
***
“Fate has a twisted sense of humor, my boys,” Professor Yulric declared jubilantly. He rubbed his hands again, but Darius wasn’t sure if the man had ever stopped. It was a good thing he was wearing leather gloves, or he’d be risking blisters.
“Look how intent she is…”
On the other side of the window, Janette sat in his office with the pages of the entrance exam in front of her. She dipped her quill again and again as she worked her way through the questions. Color didn’t brighten her cheeks to betray uncertainty, which left him with a growing sense of satisfaction coupled with dread because his gut told him she was going to pass, and then what? A hard hand landed on his shoulder.
“It does appear our little adventurer is going to be placed under your stewardship,” Lykos said. “How splendid.”
“It is indeed!” the Professor answered, proving that the only frailty the man had was in his aging flesh. He might be balding and his face spouting white whiskers, but his wits remained sharp. “A Pure Spirit…at last.”
“But the daughter of a traitor,” Darius muttered.
The Professor’s joy faded, but only for a moment. “Her mother was never convicted.”
“Only because she fled. Janette will have to shoulder the burden of being the offspring of a coward.”
“Yes, yes…well, we all must make our way through the more difficult tasks in our lives,” the Professor replied. “Besides, the woman has clearly had her daughter educated well. Just look at the way she is moving through the exam! I dare say she belongs here and her mother has done her duty in making sure it would happen.”
Darius caught himself grinning. She had spirit, and he admired it. He smoothed out his expression when Lykos looked his way. It was an opinion he needed to keep to himself. Janette was going to be in his charge, which meant anything personal would be out of the question.
Duty before preference. Always.
***
“You passed!” Galene beamed and kissed her on both cheeks. Tears shimmered in her eyes as Janette felt her muscles easing for the first time in hours.
Had she truly only been playing with Sophia’s scandalous fashions a few days ago?
“Just as you said you would,” Galene continued. “My daughter did well.” The old lady faltered, her voice cracking with emotion.
“Your daughter would have done better to return and face the accusations leveled against her,” Darius stated.
Janette wanted to snap at him—he was ruining her moment of triumph. But there was a warning in his eyes that made her hesitate. Alienating the man when she intended to live among his brethren wasn’t the wisest course of action, even if it was tempting. She would just wait to speak her mind when they were alone.
Eager to be alone with him, are you?
Her impulses were going to be the death of her. She shook off the thoughts that tried to take control of her attention—hushed rumors of the Illuminist ways, which included being allowed lovers. Intimacies were not considered a duty but a pleasure members might indulge in as their right, something she’d been raised to believe was wrong.
Or maybe not. For certain her mother had warned her what their neighbors thought of the Illuminist ways, but that wasn’t the same as being told her body was sinful. More than one young lady she’d known during her childhood had been reared to believe any enjoyment of intimacies was low-bred and dirty. A lady only endured such things to conceive. A true gentleman took his baser needs to a mistress once his wife was expecting.
Her gaze focused on Darius. His kisses were definitely an indulgence—a wicked one.
“I will be pinning that on her, Mr. Lawley, if you please.”
Galene held one gloved hand out for something Darius held. It was a lapel pin, cast with the symbols of the Illuminist Order but made of silver instead of gold.
“This is your novice pin.” Galene gently pinned it to the collar of her dress. “Before you may be awarded a gold one, you shall have to memorize our laws and take the Oath of Allegiance to uphold them. You shall be a novice for an entire year.”
Galene patted the pin once it was secured, and tears trickled down her cheeks. She hugged her tightly before Darius cleared his throat, and she sighed.
“Yes, I understand. You are correct, Mr. Lawley.” Galene stepped back and drew herself up stiffly. “You shall begin your novitiate here, and I must leave or risk drawing the Helikeians to you. Promise me you shall telephone often.”
“Telephone?”
Galene nodded. “You’ll be allowed to use one if you ask. I will call you often, though not too often, for you will have a full schedule on your way to your first degree.”
“I see…” Actually she didn’t, but Janette maintained her composure while she battled to keep her uncertainty from showing. Of course there were levels inside the Illuminist Order. She was a fool to believe a new member wouldn’t have to work to achieve respect. Earning it would be a pleasure, because for the first time in a very long time she would be judged on things that mattered instead of social niceties. Knowledge and learning—all of it was now at her fingertips.
“I am looking forward to the challenge,” she declared, much to Professor Yulric’s delight.
The door opened, and Lykos stood there wearing his overcoat. Behind him, another Illuminist Guardian held Galene’s cloak, his message clear. Her grandmother lifted a hand and waved.
“Study well…”
The doors closed behind her grandmother, and Janette felt a pinch of loneliness. It surprised her because Galene was almost a stranger to her, but at the moment, the old lady was the only family she still had contact with.
“Since you have joined us, I will escort you to your quarters in the women’s section.” Darius pressed on his ear device and extended his arm toward the door, which opened. She heard the tiny hum
of the crystals. “All new members—”
“Stay in the dormitory for their first year. Yes, I know.” She was interrupting but needed to feel as though she knew what to expect from her life, or maybe what she needed was to make sure Darius didn’t see her as a lost child in need of comforting. A sense of uncertainty was threatening to eat through her fragile confidence and leave her vulnerable to despair. Well, she would just have to muster up some courage. The year of living inside the dormitory was yet another reason many people suspected the Illuminist Order of strange and grotesque dealings. Why else would new members need to be separated from their families?
“I used to come to Sophia’s to buy a circular outside.” She followed Darius from the room. “My father was very displeased when he found them, but I am glad I have some knowledge of life inside your Order.”
“Our Order.”
“Yes…of course…”
His eyes narrowed slightly in response to the hesitation in her tone. Janette diverted her attention to the décor of the hallways they were passing through.
She was simply overstimulated.
You certainly were this morning…
She shook her head and felt another look from Darius as heat suffused her cheeks.
The man read her emotions too well. She reached up to finger the Illuminist pin, seeking proof she wasn’t dreaming. It was cool beneath her fingertips
Darius didn’t stop to comment but took her farther into the secret world she’d only read about. The Solitary Chamber was much larger than it had appeared from the street. They went down wide corridors before going through a gate. She heard the hum of the crystals but her pin didn’t have any secured in it.
“Novices need permission to leave their dormitory wing because our secrets could leak out with them before they take their Oaths,” Darius informed her. He turned to face two large doors and pressed his earpiece. “The first gate is enough deterrent for other novices.”
The doors opened to reveal another long corridor, and two men standing guard on the other side of the doors.
“But I’m a Pure Spirit and can cross the gate without a gold pin.” Knowing the facts didn’t stop her heart from accelerating when Darius pulled her to a stop and the two guards studied her face.
He raised an eyebrow. “Misgivings already, Miss Aston?”
“Your arrogance is ugly, Mr. Lawley.” She stepped away from him. “Is it so hard for you to understand that my tolerance for being placed under lock and key might be strained today? Well, I do assure you, I shall weather the conditions necessary for me to make my place here.”
He reached out to capture her arm. To be sure, her pride didn’t care to know she liked the way he imposed his will on her, but there was a part of her that enjoyed feeling his strength and recognizing that it was greater than her own. He was arrogant, but that fact seemed to give her satisfaction. Part of her found it attractive.
Foolish…
She needed to focus on beginning a life for herself, not on the way Darius Lawley made her feel. Her father was correct about one thing: emotions would lead her astray.
“Your door to your rooms will not be locked, unless you do it yourself.” He guided her down the hallway to the very end and reached for his earpiece.
“But you have the power to open any door here, don’t you?” she asked, distracting herself from the guards. It was becoming jumbled inside her mind, and she needed to keep yesterday’s experience at the clinic far away from the adventure she was on today.
Yes, that was it. Adventure. Such a marvelous opportunity.
He glanced down at her as the door opened. “I am a Guardian and the head one here. Don’t mistake our Order, Janette. There are laws that are ironclad, and we will protect our knowledge. Treason is punishable by death. I escort every new novice to their chamber when they arrive.”
He pointed into the open chamber. There was a small entry room, with a table in the center of it. A lamp cast white light down onto an open book placed neatly on the table’s surface. “Read the laws first, Janette. You can still walk away. The Guardians at the gate will allow you to leave today if you decide you do not want to follow our ways. You’ve proven you have a fine mind and can grasp more knowledge but we share our learning only with those willing to protect our secrets. You will not be allowed into our most important classes until you complete your Novice year and take the Oath of Allegiance. Only then will you be a full member of this Order.”
She lifted her chin and quashed the urge to shrug off his grasp. Let the man see how little he frightened her.
“I will read the laws, but do not waste your time waiting about for me to bolt like some frightened rabbit.” She turned and walked away from him. He released her, but she felt his gaze on her. Her father would have been proud of her poise; it lacked not a bit of formality as she covered the distance to the table. She picked up the book and turned to look back at him.
“I know you are not a rabbit, Janette.” His voice was edged with frustration, and it touched a similar feeling inside her. “But I do wonder if you aren’t wearing that badge because you believe you have nowhere else to go.”
“Maybe I wonder if you’re bringing up such a thing because it will remind me that you offered me marriage this morning as an alternative.”
An alternative she needed to ignore…or risk thinking about his kisses again. She blushed, as both options left her the possibility of taking him for her lover. That knowledge was too much; she wasn’t even sure how to think about it. The topic had been so forbidden until an hour ago.
Now it wasn’t…
“But I am wearing it,” she continued. “So there is no reason to discuss the matter further.”
Her pride came to her rescue, insisting she not begin her life among the Illuminists with rumors she’d gained entrance by becoming the head Guardian’s lover. Maybe among the Order it wasn’t as frowned upon as in high society, but she still wanted to be seen standing on her own. She drew a deep breath.
“Since you claim my privacy will be respected here, kindly leave me to begin my life as a member of the Illuminist Order, Mr. Lawley. We should avoid being overly familiar with each other while I am a novice. Since you claim to escort all newcomers to their chambers, it’s best I do not appear unique. Such would undermine your position.”
“You make an interesting point, Janette.”
She turned back to face him and regretted giving into temptation. His expression was dark, but not with anger. The man was battling the same urges as she. She didn’t need to see him contemplating her lips, couldn’t stop herself from licking them because they were suddenly dry. His eyes narrowed instantly.
“I believe addressing me so familiarly is unwise,” she sputtered, searching her mind for all the lessons her mother had given her on keeping men at arm’s length—something she’d failed to do with Darius. What foul luck she had with this man. There was something about him that unraveled her composure.
“At least, it’s wiser. Surely you can see that,” she implored him. Every bit of poise she had seemed misplaced between them. What chafed was the way she noticed how dishonest she was being. She did not want him at arm’s length.
“Because of my position?” He chuckled, but the sound was far from pleasant.
She heard only a faint sound of his feet hitting the floor before the man was looming over her. He left only a scant inch between them, grasping her arms to pull her close.
“Yes…you’re—”
“I know who I am, Janette.” His breath teased her lips. “I do not need you to protect my good name.”
“Well, you needn’t be so cross.”
He shook his head. “And you needn’t be so mesmerizing.”
His eyes darkened, hypnotizing her. He growled softly before his lips claimed hers. It wasn’t a kind kiss; it was an assault, one designed to break through her defenses. What surprised her was the way she curled her fingers into his vest to pull him against her. Delight speared throu
gh her, hard and sweet. Need pulsed inside her, and she turned her head so their kiss might be even harder. She wanted to know everything about him—his taste, his scent, and the feel of his demands.
“Enough, Janette. I should have listened to you and left.”
He put her away from him, but she felt his hands shaking. Just the hint of a tremor, one his eyes never betrayed. Instead, she witnessed the flare of lust in those dark orbs and understood exactly what it was…because it was the same thing gnawing at her insides.
“Then leave me. But don’t you forget that I am not a frightened child anymore.”
His lips rose into a mocking grin.
“Yet neither are you completely a woman.” The door began to open in response to a press on his ear device. Heat rose to her cheeks at his comment. How dare the man call her immature after kissing her so passionately!
“If I am not up to your standards, Mr. Lawley, kindly stop kissing me.”
He stopped and offered her a half bow. “But my dear Miss Aston, you are the one who was so determined to enter my world. How could I fail to welcome you to it…personally?” His eyes flashed a promise at her before the door closed.
Welcome, indeed. More like a warning. Or a promise…
She felt the need inside her twisting and biting now that he was gone. Her skin was too sensitive, both her nipples drawn into hard points behind her corset, and hidden between the folds of her sex there was a point that throbbed bitterly with frustration.
Janette laughed. She forced the sound out of her body, denying the urge to sink into longing. Smoothing her fingers over the Illuminist pin, she laughed again, this time lower and rich with satisfaction. She turned and picked up the book, placing a soft kiss against its binding. Her life, her future was in her hands. Something she’d only dared to fantasize about in the darkest hours of the night. It had seemed such a far-fetched idea, one she’d doubted she had the courage to pursue. Maybe she’d always hoped her father would find her science circulars. If so, she was a bit of a coward for not being able to step past the threshold of her comfortable home and seek out what she wanted.