Alpha Farm, Facing Your Demons (Prepper Chicks Series Book 2)

by Annie Berdel

  “That’s a long way to haul 140lbs over my shoulder!”

  “I know, but I’ve a plan”

  “A plan aye? You do know your plans always give me pause for alarm?”

  “Whatever” Emma said rolling her eyes

  Settling Dixon back down on his makeshift bed, the three quickly got busy making sure that Jane had enough supplies inside the house for a few weeks. Then a security check around the property and closing off some advantage points put Emma’s mind at ease for Jane staying at the house by herself while Scott was away.

  Scott…. Emma thought. How would he feel about Mike being home, let alone in his house? I’ll need to head that off at the pass when Scott returns. Hopefully he does return…Emma thought

  Walking into a storage room, Emma found what she was looking for. Pulling the heavy metal from inside the containment bag, Emma walked back to the room Dixon was resting in. Laying the frame on the floor, she opened it all the way up.

  “Awesome, an old military cot!” Mike exclaimed as he walked back into the room

  “Ya, thought it might make the job easier of lugging the mutt home”

  Dixon’s high pitched whine gave them all a giggle. Reaching over, Emma cupped the dog’s lower jaw with her hand. “Oh you know I love you, you crazy mutt”

  “OK, let’s think this through though. I’ve been worried about this thing fitting through the tunnel. If we don’t engage it all the way out and just wrap it around Dixon, we should be able to get in width wise but, there are the turns. This thing is long, so we may need to shorten it a bit” Emma, lost in thought didn’t notice that she had inadvertently divulged information that she had wanted to keep quiet.

  “Um, tunnels?” Jane asked

  Emma gave a quick glance from Jane then to Mike before returning her eyes to Jane’s now curious face.

  The wheels turning in Jane’s head, several things became clear. “That’s how you got here with Dixon, isn’t it? I was wondering how you wheeled him over here down all the roads, but that makes much more sense! Let’s see these tunnels!” Jane cried out

  There was no stopping this now, Emma realized.

  Listen Jane, no one knows about these tunnels, not even Scott. So please, you must keep this a secret. Actually, it might be a good thing that you know. I’ve been feeling uneasy about you staying here by yourself so now you can pop over without being seen and come visit and check on Dixon. But, honey” she said as she grabbed Jane by the hand “Listen to me, she cannot risk being seen and someone finding out about this. You must take the utmost care when you do this. Ok?”

  “Of course” Jane replied with a look of concern.

  “I’m going to go out and scout around before we take off” Mike said as he headed out the door

  “Sounds good. Emma, let’s get Dixon ready for travel while he’s gone” Jane said “I want my patient to be as comfortable as possible” she said as she left the room

  Dixon was alone now with his human. Kneeling down beside him, Emma buried her head in his fur. “Oh baby” she whispered “I am so very sorry this happened to you” More memories flooded back to Emma about that night. Over and over the scene played in her mind until her body started to shake. Dixon, sensitive to her emotions, tried to get up. “No, no. Stay right where you are big guy” Emma said sternly looking into Dixons eyes. Dark, piercing eyes that reflected Emma’s soul right back to her. “I am so sorry” she cried gently stroking his face. Dixon had no need for these human frailties, licking up with his big wet, course tongue, he caught Emma right under her nose. “AH DIXON” she shrieked….”That’s just gross” she giggled as she hugged him tightly around his neck. “I love you so very much!”

  21

  Megan watched her children sleeping. Such peaceful sweet faces. Her stomach twisted itself into knots as her thoughts turned dark. How was she going to protect them from this harsh world? She wanted to give them a fighting chance! Doubting her own strength haunted her.

  “Damn you Robert” she cursed under her breath

  Her husband. The man she betrothed herself to and to whom she wanted nothing more than start a family with, was gone. It was lonely not having a spouse. Sure, she had her mother and the children but having a partner, someone who she knew had her back, was there to be a sounding board, was there to carry half the burdens. Now it was just her.

  Life had changed so much in the last couple years that sometimes it left her head spinning. Robert dying with the horrific car accident; she had nightmares about the pain he had to be in before he finally died. The details haunted her for months after the news had broadcast how his car had caught on fire and no one would help him. Later she found out that he had been drinking. It did nothing to relieve her anguish knowing that he may not have felt much due to the severity of his intoxication, but finding out that he had company with him cut her to her soul. According to the reports, the woman was a local prostitute who specialized in high profile clients. How could he betray not only his marriage but risk destroying his family? He would never know how Megan had tried the best she could to pick up the pieces of their lives.

  Within the last seven days, she allowed two strangers to take her and what was left of her family across the country in an R.V. to a farm in Ohio. What was she thinking? She felt the knot in her stomach squeeze even tighter to the point of nausea. Taking a gulp of air, she swallowed deeply. Chloe and Mike had been nothing but nice to her and her family, but did she once again act out of haste? She didn’t have a good track record for decision making, she felt. Was this a mistake too, like her marriage, like what happened to her son? Closing her eyes, she fought back the need to vomit.

  Was this farm in Ohio the answer to a lot of late night prayers? She needed help, not only with dealing with Robbie but she needed help fighting whatever was dissolving the last bits of saneness she had stored up within herself. She had tried to explain her feelings to her mother, but she felt she couldn’t reveal her true emotions without alarming her parent.

  Looking at little Robbie, his dark long lashes like his fathers; she felt a tug on her heart. So many obstacles are in his way, she thought. How could she ever forgive herself for what she allowed to happen to him? Autism was tough enough but giving your son autism because you allowed yourself to be manipulated into believing that all the vaccinations were necessary, was inexcusable. If only she had done the damn research. She had brushed off the warnings posted on Facebook and some of her mom clubs without giving them a second thought. Now, there was no turning back time or she would have done it already. How was this child going to grow up in this new world? Could she care for his needs properly without the networking afforded with the internet? What if he got worse, then what?

  In an instant, the thought pierced her psyche so profoundly that she caught her breath. Taking a step back and turning, her eyes wide in horror at the thought that now taunted her. Darting left and right, her eyes looked for an unseen answer. Anything to lead her out of the unfathomable evil that had quickly habituated her thoughts.

  Could she? She couldn’t even speak. Could she kill her own child if she needed to? To save him from the terrors that were knocking on his future? Would she be able to find the strength to stop the pain that beckoned to his small, frail soul like a long lost lover?

  Shaking her head wildly, she screamed internally for what felt like hours. Feelings of betrayal for even allowing the thoughts to manifest themselves left tears in her eyes. No, her child would be given a fighting chance. Somehow. Someway.

  Startled by Robbie stirring, Megan turned to find him sitting up on the bed staring at her. Guilt drove deep into her soul. He knew. She just knew that he picked up on her thoughts.

  This is crazy, Megan whispered to herself.

  Walking over to the bed, she tucked a hand beneath his head and grasped his feet, laying his back at the same time pulling him towards her at the edge of the bed. “Good Morning my sweet prince” she cooed. Robbie popped a chubby fist into his mouth and used
the other hand to grab playfully at his mother’s hair hanging down now that she was bent over him. Zipping down his sleeper, Megan popped his plump little legs out of the pajamas and slid the plastic diaper cover down and off his legs. Unclipping the pins on each side of his diaper, she lifted his little bottom and slid the soft, white cloth from beneath his buttocks. Quickly sliding another in its place, she repeated the same steps in reverse until she was sliding the zipper on the pajamas up towards his chin. Reaching down and grasping him beneath his arms, Megan picked the toddler up and held him in her arms. Gently hugging him close to her, she silently asked for forgiveness for the iniquitous thoughts she had allowed access to her mind.

  I’ve got to get stronger

  Lord help me, I’ve got to get stronger.

  22

  “Where the hell have you both been?” Johnisse asked as Emma and Mike walked through the front door. Just as she was about to give another scolding, Dixon brushed past their legs and rambled into the living room. Climbing into the chair that Emma had spent the night in, he sat there with his tongue hanging out like Lord of the Manner.

  The look on Johnisse’ face was without question one of utter astonishment.

  “How?” she stammered lifting to point a finger from Dixon to the kitchen and back to the saintly canine now dripping drool from the corner of his snout.

  “Let me get him settled then I want to see this package you have. Mike said you all left it on the back porch all rolled up. I have a feeling I know what’s inside” Emma said “But right now, this big guy needs a rest” she fussed at her friend as she scratched the dog’s ears making him moan.

  “I would expect some hungry guests for breakfast” Mike said looking at Johnisse

  Lifting her hands quickly into the air, her fingers spread in a desperate sign of helplessness, Johnisse let out a feeble cry. “Someone needs to light that damn stove of yours first.”

  Giving a chuckle, Mike motioned for her to precede him into the kitchen while Emma went about getting Dixon settled down for a nap. A good fire in the fireplace should do the trick, she thought as she pulled her knife and Ferro rod from her pocket. Grabbing it tightly, she glanced at the pictures on the mantel. “Where are you Tommy?”

  “What the hell just happened?” Johnisse asked Mike once they were out of earshot of Emma.

  “I’m not a hundred percent sure myself, but Emma seems to think she knows.” Mike explained.

  “If that’s Dixon in there with her, what the hell was hanging in the kitchen here?” she asked.

  “Your guess is as good as mine. I saw it just the same as you and I think we both were thinking the same thing. Where’s Chloe and Tiff?” he asked looking around.

  “I think Tiffany is still primping upstairs but I have yet to see Chloe this morning” she replied “You might want to go round ‘em both up so we can try and put some grub on.”

  Mike sniggered “You been here what, a week and already talkin like you were born here.”

  “Whatever” she gruffed back “Go find the girls” she said with a wink.

  Mike took off towards the stairs, passing Tiffany half way up. “Miss Tiffany” he said giving a slight lilt to his dusty blonde head “Mr. Mike” Tiffany responded with a grin. “Johnisse is waiting for you in the kitchen. You see Chloe?” He asked. “Nope, sure haven’t but you might want to give a knock on her door.” She replied “I’m just gonna head on down to the kitchen.” She sang out loudly as Mike hurried on his way “You know, downstairs where everyone else is.” She continued with a glint in her eyes “Mmm Huh, yes, downstairs I go”

  Mike gave a light rasp on Chloe’s door expecting a reply but heard nothing. Leaning in, he tried to get as close to the door as he could without actually toughing it. He knocked a little louder this time which again, was met with silence. Was she already downstairs somewhere? No, Johnisse said she hadn’t seen her. Maybe she had gone outside? Mike rapped harder.

  Grabbing the door handle, he gave a quick turn to feel for resistance. Nothing, the door wasn’t locked. “Couldn’t hurt to take a quick peek to see if she was even in there, could it?” The answer hadn’t even formulated in his head when he caught himself glancing around the edge of the door.

  The room was still dark as the curtains were closed. Squinting, he took a step around the door. Listening as his eyes adjusted to the dimness, Mike could hear a faint whistling noise. Cocking his head, he stopped breathing long enough to try and hear better. It was definitely a whistle, he thought. Reaching back, he slowly opened the door wider to allow a little more light into the room.

  He noticed her calf first, snowy white and smooth as silk. His eyes lowed to where her foot was sticking out of the blanket, revealing bright red polish on her toenails. Traveling upward, he took in the contrast between her pale thigh and the deep green sheet, covering her leg only at the last inch. Quickly skimming over the rest of the sheet covering her body, his eyes fell on the softness of her neck where it met her shoulder, secretly encouraging him to discover its pleasures. Shuddering, he knew he could devour her right then and there.

  Slowly backing out of the room, he closed the door trying not to disturb her. Resting his head back against the door, he trained his mind on the least sexy, most morbid thought he could to try and reduce the swelling starting in his crotch. Taking a deep breath, he headed back down to the kitchen leaving Chloe to sleep for a while yet.

  Walking into the room, all eyes were on him. “What?” he asked sharply

  “Oh nothing” Tiffany responded exchanging glances and a smirk with Johnisse.

  “You want to light this damn thing” Johnisse grinned at Mike “Unless you got something better to do.”

  Mike, try as he might, met the edge of the kitchen table with his thigh trying to get to the wood stove. “If that doesn’t take my urge away, I don’t know what else will, he thought as he rubbed his leg not even bothering to look at the two women watching him.

  23

  It was dark in the room. The strong scent of rubbing alcohol danced with the sour aroma of urine from the bedpan on the chair next to where she was propped up. Shelby was so damn uncomfortable she could scream. After talking with Ridley, she had little hope. She was an experiment. The only thing she could hold onto was that she knew Ridley would do her best, but Shelby still had little faith in what was coming. Without the proper instruments, how was this young, very young girl going to get her up and walking again.

  Torture couldn’t have been any sweeter than having to lie in bed listening to the sounds of life going on without you. The big blue ball just doesn’t stop, doesn’t even slow down long enough to be able to catch your breath to jump off. These sounds came from her family and they still pissed her off. The women in her house using her things like it belonged to them clawed at her inner resolve. These items were hard earned or given personally to her, not to them. They had no right and damnit if she could remember anyone coming in and asking permission to use her cast iron. Would they even know how to take care of it? Would they even care? They could be ruining them this very minute and then just leave and go home! She would have no idea since she couldn’t get off this god-forsaken bed!

  Her face feeling flush, Shelby took a deep breath. “Girl, you are losing it.” She mumbled to herself. Reaching over, she could barely grasp the water pitcher and glass that Ridley had placed on the nightstand. Trying not to turn or twist her leg, she braced one hand on her hip as she tried to bend a bit backwards and reach out. Feeling the rough edge of the tumbler with her fingers, she slowly arched her finger tips to try and slide the inside the lip of the glass towards her. “Come on girly girl, just a bit more” she whispered

  The sound of breaking glass made her shoulders bow up to try and cover her ears. “Damnit!” she yelled out louder then she intended not realizing the shattering itself was enough to summon her Mountain Man.

  Opening the door, a trail of light lit part of the room where the shards were spread out on the wooden floor. “Wait
!” Shelby yelled

  The silhouette in the doorway halted briefly upon command and then slowly persisted on opening the door further.

  “Shelby? You ok?” came his thundering voice. She caught the trepidation in his tone. “He must be tired of dealing with this” Shelby thought to herself. I’m not worth anything anymore, just lying on this bed. I can’t cook his meals, clean his clothes or take care of the house he built. How much longer before he decides to get another better woman? The thoughts entered her mind and pushed her usual dominant thoughts right out her ears. “Where did that come from?”

  “Shelby?” his voice broke through the darkness

  “Ya, I’m fine. Just knocked the glass off the table. I’m sorry.” She whimpered

  “It’s ok my love. I’ll get another and get this cleaned up. Be right back”

  He was gone before she could respond; the room dark again. Staring at the darkness, the thoughts teased her, poking at her resolved. What happens if she wasn’t able to walk again even after Ridley’s “miracle” surgery? How was she going to take care of the children? She would never be a burden on anyone! The faces of her babies flashed before her. One by one the thought of someone else taking care of them slapped her heart hard. These were her babies, no one else’s. It was her responsibility to raise them as kind caring people, to teach them about life.

  “Life” she murmured. Tears streamed down her hot cheeks cutting through the soft flesh like molten lava.

  Flinging the door open, Mountain Man’s giant figure advanced into the room with a thud. “Sorry” he said

  Shelby hurriedly flipped the coverlet up over her face and dried the tears before her husband could see them.

  Crunching glass as he walked to the side of the bed, he set the glass down and filled it with water. “Here ya go” he said as he handed it to her. “You getting hungry yet?” He asked

  “A little but don’t make nothing special, I can eat when everyone else eats.” She replied