Alpha Farm, Facing Your Demons (Prepper Chicks Series Book 2)

by Annie Berdel

  “Home?” Tom questioned, the word stuck on his tongue not wanting to be spoken.

  Emma looked at her husband’s puzzled look. She had never thought that he might have amnesia from his injuries but looking at him now, she needed to face the possibilities.

  “Do you remember anything that happened to you?” she asked him

  Laying his head back against his pillow, Tom closed his eyes. Trying to replay the last few days over in his head, he couldn’t bring any memories to his mind. Nothing, except her voice and the feelings it encapsulated.

  Emma watched as his eyes darted back and forth behind his eyelids, searching for whatever was lost. Her heart breaking as she realized the man before her had no recollection of her.

  “Listen, you rest. I’m going to go fix you a light meal so we can get you something in your stomach. We need to go slow though as you haven’t had any real food for a while so a good bone broth is what is needed. I’ll be back in a little bit.” She lifted the glass again and used the water to lightly wet his lips. Readjusting his pillow, she left the room.

  Tom stared after the woman. She was his wife, his sister? Who was she? Why did he have such feelings of dislike towards her then? Why did he want to drink in her loveliness yet stab her in the chest at the same time?

  Emma walked through the door, gently closing it behind her. Leaning her back against it, she lifted her chin towards heaven and closed her eyes as the tears streamed down her face. “God, please” she pleaded once again.

  32

  It was the quietest she had ever seen her children. Glancing from face to face around the table made her stomach twist into knots. She didn’t have the answers to their unspoken questions and that made her feel worthless. She took care of things, everything. It was in her nature to be the caregiver but to see the spirits of her children so broken damn near destroyed her.

  She had to tell them something but they would not settle for anything less than the truth. Could they handle it? Could they handle her laying everything all out on the table between the baked chicken and the salt and pepper shakers like another entree on tonight’s dinner menu?

  Oh hey, by the way, it’s great that your Father is alive but he may never remember you. How does one dress that up and serve it for dessert? There were no justifications to how all their lives had been turned upside down and no resolutions to how they could get those lives back. They had to find a new way and it was going to take all of them working together to get there.

  “Listen, this is going to be hard to talk about and it’s why I asked for the wee ones to not be here but we have to throw everything out here and keep communication open. Trust me, I know this is hard but I have seen all of you step up and help out in your own way. I truly believe we can get through whatever may happen if we stick together. I love you, every part of me wanting to take this from you but I don’t know how.” Emma began.

  “Mom, it’s not your fault” Kevin replied

  “I know but I somehow feel responsible. Like I somehow didn’t yell loud enough to get your attention.”

  “You knew how this was all going down exactly?” Jess asked

  “Well, no. But...”

  “No buts, there was no way you saw what was coming but honestly, because of what you have done beforehand, we are so much better off than most people. I for one am sorry that I doubted you.” Kevin replied

  Lauren dropped her head and stared at her fingers fidgeting in her lap. She had been the hardest when it came to giving her mom crap about prepping and her tin foil hat conspiracies. Lauren had tried to ignore the guilt since it began, but she knew it was time to fess up.

  “Mom, I am truly sorry.” she began. “I look back and see what an ass I have been and now wish beyond high heaven that I had paid better attention to what you were trying to get me to realize.

  Emma stood and walked around behind the others chairs to where her daughter was sitting. The tears started to stream down Lauren’s face as Emma wrapped an arm around her from behind and gave her a squeeze. “No need to apologize, little one.” she said as she gently kissed her daughter on the top of her head. Lauren reached up and clutched onto her mom’s arm.

  What if I lose her too, Lauren thought. Then what? Who would help us stay alive?

  “Mom, I...” she stammered, choking on the tears starting to overwhelm her.

  “Honey, listen to me.” Emma said as she titled her daughters face upwards towards her own. “I love you and I will not let anything happen to you!”

  “You loved dad.” Lauren whimpered

  The silence was back but all eyes were screaming at Emma for answers. How do you respond to that? How do you tell your child that you failed and their father almost died because of it? How do you convince your child that you are not omnipresent nor omnipotent when you let them to believe that all these years you were? How do you convince your child that you are not a god and that they now need to treat you as a human? A human who fails and does not have all the answers. How?

  Emma let go of Lauren and backed away, her heart continuing to break as her world continued to crumble around her.

  “Lauren, that was uncalled for” Kevin sternly spoke towards his sister sliding into an authoritarian role now that his father was not able to oversee his family.

  Lauren shot a glance at her brother and dropped her head. The words had slipped out before she realized it but the words were there taunting at the back of her thoughts.

  “No. It’s okay. We need to talk about this.” Emma replied with a new gentleness in her voice. Her kids were hurting and searching for answers and now was not a time for a debate or unkind words. More than anything, they needed love and understanding.

  “All these years,” Emma began “I have had a feeling or some would say a calling to try and figure out the future. I knew deep in my gut that this world we live in would change and over the years I have seen more and more people with this same feeling being drawn together for whatever reason, to learn, to try and figure out what was possibly going to go down. We weren’t concrete on anything.... just a gut feeling or the voice of God trying to warn me, you can pick but prophetically speaking, things are getting interesting and coincidently follow along with God’s Word.”

  “So all this time, your prepping and all this moving to the farm wasn’t always about the economy or a slower way of life for the kids?” Maria asked

  “Well no, I mean yes. “Emma sighed “It’s a combination of things. I have always been fascinated with Eschatology and out of this study there are certain things that would unfold. So, yes, to get to a one world government, you have to have countries set up correctly to be able to have the people accept that. We here in the United States have been blessed for so long and pretty much have had a huge say in the global economy but if God’s Word was to be fulfilled then we would need to see a decline in our dollar. We would have to see an ability to control the movement of goods and monies. How? Most likely, electronically. “

  “Is that why you talk about Bitcoin and RFID and chips a lot?” Maria asked

  “Yes. I want people to wake up but they need to wake up and come to an informed conclusion on their own. I can deliver the information straight into your lap, but if you don’t want to dig into it there isn’t a lot I can do to convince you that this is our reality.” Emma replied

  Emma glanced over at Lauren who still had her heard down. She was Emma’s biggest challenge. Lauren was the second to the youngest and the artist in the family. Her dream was to move to Chicago and create her own comic book series but there was no way Emma could afford to pay her tuition outright. Lauren had spewed some bitter words towards her mom when Emma told her she would not be using her retirement to pay for her daughter’s college which was not what Lauren had wanted to hear. She expected her mom to do whatever it took to ensure her daughter’s liberal arts degree with no guarantee of employment after and little actual work from Lauren. It was all about sharing the wealth, right?

  “L
isten, for whatever reason I felt led to do what I do, all I know is that you kids are the most import part of my life and the bottom line on why I felt a need to carry all of this through.” Emma explained

  “And dad? How does he fit into all of this?” Jonathan asked

  “Same way he always does. He didn’t want to but I showed him some things and he realized that I may have been right. It didn’t help with the situation in Indianapolis getting worse and worse and wanting to keep all you kids safe. While there was no guarantee that you would follow us, we at least wanted to give you a safe place to come home to if you chose to do so. Promising your father a new gun and a range he could go shooting anytime he wanted went a long way in moving him out here to the farm.” Emma said with a half chuckle remembering how Tom was easily swayed with a new firearm.

  “Okay, let’s say your gut has been right all along and what you think might be unfolding is actually coming true. Now what? Where do we go from here?” Jonathan asked

  “I think the question should more be about how we can help and get everyone through whatever is coming and out the other side alive!” Maria shot back at her husband. Turning her head to speak directly to Emma, Maria continued “Unless you don’t think we can survive whats coming?”

  “I don’t know what to say to make this any easier. While I would like to say, yes, we will all survive, I can’t give you a false hope. I think you need the truth, or the truth as I see it and I think we need a plan.” Emma explained

  “Or two” Kevin quipped

  “Yes, or two, three, whatever it takes.” Emma replied

  Lauren finally lifted her head. “I don’t know where I fit into all of this but I am extremely tired. Can you guys figure all this out and catch me up to speed later. I think I need to go lay down for a bit?”

  “Sure, honey.” Emma said softly

  No one really paid much attention to Lauren leaving the room except Emma. Her eyes followed her daughter as Lauren left the room, catching every movement and burning it into her memory. If there was one child she was concerned about the most, it was Lauren. Emma made a note to talk to Jessica later and see about starting some training classes and having Jess invite her. She figured that she stood a far better chance of getting Lauren to attend with Jess asking then if Emma asked her herself. Lauren had always been a bit defiant if Emma was involved somehow and this was no time to gamble on the outcome.

  Continuing on, the kids took turns asking Emma questions about the uncertain possibilities of what was to come. Giving them as much hope as she could, she made sure that she stressed the importance of having their spiritual life as one of the most important preps that they should be paying attention to. Time would be set aside to come together weekly at the farm to pray together as a family. Since Jess was overseeing the homeschooling of the grandkids, Emma also talked to her about adding additional curriculum concerning the importance of prayer and a few extra first aid classes. They also orchestrated a class on scenario drills to go over with the kids in case they were separated from all adults or ended up in the company of adults that they did not know. The last thing that they discussed was the development of their own family language to be used to communicate without making their plans known to the outside world.

  33

  Mike watched as Chloe bent over and reached under the hen. She was becoming quite the domesticated goddess if he said so himself. With Emma being consumed with nursing her husband back to health, Chloe had really stepped up to helping around Emma’s homestead.

  “Hey, you” Mike chimed out

  “Hey yourself! Chloe sang back. “How’s things going with Tom?”

  “Physically, not bad. He will bounce back quite nicely I think. Mentally though, I’ve no idea. It’s eating Emma alive, I can tell you that.” He replied

  “Understandably so. They seemed tight” Chloe said

  “Love of her life. You could never separate the two of them. Their hearts are joined, their souls. My sister will reach him. If not, I’ve no doubt he will fall in love with her all over again.”

  “Ah, that’s sweet! You love your sister very much, don’t you? It shows.”

  “Ya, it’s just the two of us left. She has my back. “

  Handing Mike the egg she had stolen from its owner, she walked over to her next victim. Sliding her hand under the back end of the next hen, she let out a shriek. Her hand reappearing with a very squishy oval object. “What the?” she started to say

  “It didn’t form completely. She might be low in calcium or she might be new to this whole egg laying form of employment. “Mike explained

  “I’ve still a lot to learn, don’t I? I’ve read about it in books, what Emma does, but actually doing it, man! It’s a whole other world out here then I’m used to.” She said nonchalantly

  “What kinda world are you used to?” Mike asked

  She slipped. She let her guard down just enough and he tried to get his foot in the door.

  Damn it Chloe! She scolded herself.

  Laugh it off, laugh it off

  “Oh, just typical working girl stuff. Being someone’s bitch. Do this, do that. Work hard, party hard. Nothing glamorous. Oh look!” She pulled a blue egg out of the next nest. “How do they change colors? I mean, how do you know what color chickens lay what color eggs?”

  “Their ears” Mike replied amused

  Looking at the chickens quickly, a shocked look on Chloe’s face

  “Ears?” Chloe said looking back at Mike “Nuh-uh! Chickens don’t have ears!” She said looking back at the chickens

  “Yes, actually they do. Here” he said pointing at the small flap on the side of the hens head. “See this white earlobe, probably white eggs” he said as he reached his hand under the hen, pulling out a white egg “Red earlobes are going to probably be brownish colored eggs”

  “That’s cool!” Chloe exclaimed “Wait, how did I get a blue egg?”

  “Those are Easter Eggers. They lay all kinds of shades between green and blue even though they don’t have those colored earlobes. Silkies” he said pointing at the fluffy white chicken, “actually do have blue earlobes but lay a really light brown or almost white egg. I guess it all comes down to knowing your flock.” Mike explained

  Chloe laughed. “Why do I find this all so fascinating? A chicken with blue ears! Who would have thought it?”

  “You’re gorgeous when you laugh.” Mike said without thinking

  Chloe could feel the color rise up through her cheeks. Here she was, a high priced prostitute who was used to men telling her such things and now, this one guy, had the power to make her blush.

  “Thank you” she said quietly

  “I want to know everything about you” Mike said

  Panic now reached its way into Chloe’s heart stealing away the moment of innocence. Chloe looked at the man standing before her. She studied his face, the chiseled cheekbones beneath the steel blue eyes.

  Damn it! Her heart screamed. He could never find out.

  Lifting a finger up to stroke the side of her face, Mike watched for any sign that would help him read her expression. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. Well, it’s just weird you putting the moves on me here in a chicken coop”

  “Oh really?” he asked as he moved in closer to her

  “Ya really” she said, her panic starting to subside

  Pushing her back against the wall, Mike placed both of his hands on her hips and pulled her up against him. Chloe dropped the basket full of eggs that she had collected, spilling the bounty onto the straw laden floor.

  Mike devoured Chloe’s bottom lip as he slid his hands around to her back. His tongue slid between her teeth and a tango ensued between the two of them. Gasping for air, Chloe slid her hands around his neck and entangled her fingers in his hair above the collar of his shirt. Over and over their tongues danced back and forth, their arms pulling them together tightly until there was no distance between them.

  “Er-a-Er –a Err
r!”

  Chloe shrieked as she tore her lips from Mike, nearly climbing onto his shoulders from fright!

  “WHAT THE FUCK?” She yelled

  Mike doubled over in laughter “Oh my god, it’s just a rooster!”

  “Why are you laughing? What is going on?” She said still terrified

  Mike set her down on the floor, gasping for air as he tried to contain his amusement

  “It’s a rooster crowing. Probably because he thought we were a threat to his ladies!” Mike chuckled

  “A rooster?” Chloe said clutching her chest “A fricking rooster”

  “Ya, they do that occasionally.”

  “I thought they only did that when the sun was coming up?”

  “No, actually there are a multitude of reasons why. Sometimes a bright light makes them crow. Sometimes if they feel threatened. Kinda like a pimp warning his hos!” Mike explained

  The comment struck Chloe right in the heart. She felt the blood drain from her face as the reality of her life caught up to her standing in a chicken house.

  “Hey, you ok?” Mike asked concerned

  “I think I need to go in. I’m feeling kinda of dizzy.” Chloe responded

  “Here, let me help you.” Mike said extending an elbow

  Chloe was out the door and headed towards the house before Mike had a chance to see the tears welling up in her eyes. Following after her, the basket of eggs now lay forgotten on the floor of the coop.

  34

  Ridley watched the two out in the yard with fascination as she drank her tea. Rubbing her stomach, she thought of how fickle love was. Here she was, carrying a small life within her watching a couple with envy at their blossoming relationship. It’s like they were all part of one equation.

  “Ah baby, maybe one day we will find that kind of love” she said softly