Alpha Farm, Facing Your Demons (Prepper Chicks Series Book 2)

by Annie Berdel

  Now what? She muttered under her breath.

  For now she would stay put at Emma’s farm. Actually, Emma made sure with no doubt that she understood she was more than welcome here. But what about after? Would she continue to stay here? What if things just didn’t get better? Then what? Megan’s demons advanced full force into her mind, overwhelming her with so much emotion that she doubted her own ability to handle all the “what if’s” that her mind generated. Tears started to fall from her eyes as she stared at her small responsibility. This wasn’t his fault but she felt he would pay the cost for all the stupid in the world. She couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him hungry or hurting. What would happen to him if she died?

  Cradling him against her body, she continued to rub his stomach briskly, her chin now resting on the top of his head so he couldn’t see the tears. Letting her left arm fall from holding her head up, her hand met the pillow that she had slept on last night. Turning her hand, she stretched her fingers out and grabbed the softness beneath her palm and squeezed it tightly. The thoughts playing in her head paralyzing her as she let them play out.

  60

  Lauren skimmed over the page of her newsletter. Still needs something, she mumbled to herself. But what?

  Bringing her hands up to her face, she covered her mouth with her fingers and let out a long forceful breath. What can I give people that will help them survive but also teach them what to be looking out for? What do they want versus what they need to know?

  Running the tips of her fingers over her eyes, she gave a gentle massage to try and work out the stress of sitting at her desk for hours. She wanted this newsletter to be awesome. Correction, she needed this newsletter to be awesome. She knew the importance of the communication that needed to get to every household in the countryside. Without electronics, that had to be done the old fashioned way, with paper and pen. Then she had to duplicate the information that she had gathered together. Not so easy. She couldn't just write out several thousand of these. There had to be a simpler way. Making a mental note to talk to her mom later, Lauren was hoping the woman had some information in the thousands of books Emma had in her library.

  Those books! Goodness. Lauren hated those books more than anything. Remembering back to when her mom moved them all to the farm from Indiana to Ohio, Lauren thought her arms were going to fall off from all the boxes of books. And those boxes were also packed first out of everything in the house that Lauren had grown up in. Books. Not clothes, food or fun stuff. It was all about the books with her mom. Lauren smiled as she remember that half of the moving truck was nothing but books. She would admit, she had made fun and was pissed about at the same time but now, she was glad her mom wore the tin foil that she had back then.

  Picking her pen back up, Lauren grabbed a blank piece of paper and started making notes to herself. First she wanted some feedback from her siblings about what they thought a newsletter should contain. Then she wanted to talk to her mom about any information she might have about mass producing the letters. Then she wanted to go into town and look around. As she jotted down the last notation, her stomach twisted. She hadn’t left the farm since everything went haywire. She had heard some things as the others were talking. What Mike and Chloe saw and her mom but this would be the first time for herself and she admitted, it made her a little anxious. She would definitely need a plan as her mom and some of the others would have concerns about her safety. She wasn’t necessarily a gun fanatic like some of the others but right now she wish she had listened. Maybe it was time to do something about that. She should be able to protect herself and just like when she went to Doc Scott’s with her mom, Emma was the only one with a gun. What if something had happened? Making another notation, she would pop in on Uncle Mike and see about a gun training class. Maybe some of the others on the farm would like to attend and Lauren could do a piece for her newsletter on what went on. Heck, Unk might start teaching all over if people want to learn! Feeling like this was a big contribution for the newsletter, the bubble burst though when she realized she had better actually ask her uncle if he would teach the class before she started spreading the news. Being as private as he was, he might not want to. She would save that for conversation over dinner tonight hoping to get some back up on that from everyone else.

  What else?

  Pictures? Were they an option or a waste of valuable paper space? Good question, Lauren congratulated herself. Looking up from her paper, Lauren looked out the window above her desk. Fields of corn stood ready to be picked. How would that happen now that there was no power? So many questions!

  Jesus! She exclaimed. I may need to borrow some of my mom’s tin foil after all. And this talking to myself? Is this how people lived before electricity was invented? Funny thing was, she was actually enjoying the time away from Facebook and her cell. Yes, she missed catching up with her friends and what was going on at work kinda scared her once things came back around, but she was happier, calmer, definitely less stressed even with all the challenges ahead. She might not feel the same way if she was still at her apartment in town, but being out here on the farm with her family definitely had its advantages and rewards. She was getting to spend some sweet time with her nieces and nephews and she was seeing her mom in a whole new light. She wasn’t just her mom anymore but an intelligent adult who really cared about other people and spent the time to help them. Growing up, Lauren had felt distanced sometimes from her mom who was always so busy. Now, she was starting to actually understand the dynamics of the woman’s life.

  OK, I really need to get a move on besides sitting here just talking to myself.

  Why yes, yes you do Lauren! Lauren said in a predominate mimic. Lauren gave a chuckle. It was one thing to talk to oneself, but to answer yourself back brought a whole new dynamic to the conversation.

  Walking into the kitchen, Lauren was surprised to find Jessica and Megan there fixing lunch instead of her mom.

  “Hey, what are you two doing here?” she asked.

  “Emma had to go with Uncle Mike so we volunteered to put the grub together. Go figure!” Megan explained

  “It’s nice to give her a break once in a while.” Jessica continued “Besides, I can show you my mad cooking skills!”

  “I’m not sure I’m up for all that. I was just going to grab an apple and head into town.” Lauren said nonchalantly

  Jessica caught the foul ball in Lauren’s comment but it flew right over Megan’s head. “You’re going to town, huh? Your mom know about that?” Jessica asked

  “Is there a reason why she needs to know? I’m just going in to get a few things from my apartment and snoop around town a bit.” Lauren responded as Megan started to pay attention to the conversation.

  “You have an apartment in town?” Megan asked looking at Lauren.

  “Yes, she does.” Jessica responded before Lauren could get a word in “But mom convinced her to move right after the power went down.”

  “Yes, I have a rather nice apartment in town.” Lauren agreed giving her sister-in-law a sideways glance. “I’ve been thinking about heading back in and picking a few things up that I think will be useful for my newsletter. Besides, I want to talk to some neighbors and see what’s been going on. We have been so isolated out here and I need first-hand knowledge of things if I am going to put together a credible newspaper.”

  “Mom’s not going to let you go by yourself!” Jessica shot back

  “Well, first off, Mom can’t stop me!” Lauren replied now obviously annoyed.

  “Ask Uncle Mike, maybe he will go along to keep an eye on your back?” Jessica suggested

  “Nah, he’s too busy here on the farm and keeping an eye on Miss Chloe.” Lauren said with a wink

  “All I know is Emma will be beyond pissed if you go into town by yourself.” Jessica replied

  “How long are you planning on being gone?” Megan asked

  “Not long, maybe a couple hours at most. I just want to grab a few things and see for mysel
f what’s going on out in the world. We’re pretty sheltered out here on mom’s farm.” Lauren explained.

  “Take me.” Megan said

  “Oh now wait...”Jessica started to voice her objection.

  “Emma is keeping the kids for a few hours. We will be back before she even knows and I will keep an eye on our resident journalist here and make sure she sticks to the plan. Grab some things and we are out of there. Besides, I need an adventure to break this mind bend I’ve been on. Please Jess, you don’t even have to tell her because we will be back long before she even realizes we are gone!” Megan begged

  “Oh my god! And if you’re not? My ass is grass right along with you two! I don’t want to piss that woman off! Are you insane?” Jessica squealed knowing she didn’t stand a chance against the two girls in front of her, but equally scared of the wrath her mother-in-law would rain down if she found out. “Okay. Two hours. Get there and get back. Understood?”

  “It’s a solid forty five minute jog there!” Lauren exclaimed “That doesn’t give us enough time!”

  “It will if we take the horses.” Megan stated matter-of-factly

  “Oh! Now you’re stealing Emma’s horses too! Sweet Jesus in heaven, if either of you screws this up....”

  “Nah! We got this.” Lauren said with a grin, appreciating the quick thinking on Megan’s part. “Let’s get saddled up!”

  The ride into town was uneventful until they road past Lauren’s Aunt and Uncles house. Emma had told the kids what she had found on the way into see the Sherriff but it didn’t make it any easier to see the house burnt to the ground.

  “Think they felt anything?” Megan asked as she pulled the horse she was riding up alongside Lauren’s.

  “Mom said they were already gone so I doubt it. I’m looking at it like more of an on-the-spot cremation.” Lauren explained

  “Or a Viking funeral for a farmer.” Megan said, her voice barely above a whisper.

  “What?” Lauren said with a half laugh.

  “You know, Vikings? They put them on a boat and send them out on the water. Once they are out in the middle, someone shoots an arrow and lights them on fire. Very heroic.”

  “Indeed” Lauren said as she reigned her horse around. “We better get going.” She didn’t want Megan to see the tears about to bust out over her eyelashes. Megan hit a nerve when she said it was heroic to die in a blaze of fire. It made Lauren angry that her aunt and uncle had to die this way. They deserved to be around family and friends, not burnt up like a chicken on a bar-b-que grill.

  The closer they got to town, the more Lauren was feeling nervous. Most of the scattered houses along the way were boarded up with any vehicles shoved in front of the houses as an extra barricade. There was none of the familiar, kids laughing as they sailed down the sliding board on their swing-set, laundry hanging outside on the clothesline, neatly mowed lawns with manicured flower beds or any decorations on the homes showing signs of the upcoming holidays. It was at that moment that Lauren realized she didn’t even know what day it was anymore. Could be Thursday but was it November yet? Was Thanksgiving coming soon? What happened to Halloween? Did anyone get dressed up and go trick or treating. Lauren looked over at Megan riding a bit of a distance from her. Megan’s kids were losing a huge part of their childhood. The newsletter could help fix some of that if Lauren could get it up and running. Making a mental note to figure out the date and keep better track, Lauren also wanted to talk to her mom when she got home about celebrating some of these just to keep some kind of normalcy for everyone.

  Reigning her horse in, Lauren closed the gap between herself and Megan. She was excited about getting back home. She would put together an impromptu Halloween party for the kids to get some excitement going. After all, Lauren had many fond memories of the holiday herself. Why not help contribute to her nieces and nephews social development with some ghost stories and apple bobbing contests?

  “Hey Megan, what do you think about throwing the kids a party when we get back home?” Lauren asked her companion.

  “I think they would love it! What kind of party are you thinking of?” Megan asked

  “Maybe a Halloween party? I’m not even sure what the date is anymore but I know it;s about that time of year. Whether it’s actually October thirty first or not, we can still have a party and have some fun.” Lauren explained. “The kids could use it.”

  “I could use it! Are you kidding me? I don’t know which way is up anymore and this could definitely take my mind off everything for a while. Think we could put some costumes together when we get home?” Megan caught herself. Home. Home used to be with her husband and kids out west. Funny how she didn’t even hesitate to call Emma’s farm her home now.

  “I’m sure mom can figure something out. I’ve seen her make paint before so why not face paint? Besides, if she doesn’t know, I’m sure she has a book for that!” Lauren giggled

  “Ya, your mom loves her books, doesn’t she?” Megan agreed

  “Yep, sometimes I think she loved them more than us.” Lauren responded not thinking.

  “What? No way! It’s obvious how much your mom loves all you guys. I only wish I had that growing up.”

  “It wasn’t always what you see now. Her work and her prepping stuff took up a lot of her time. None of us kids played sports or anything because no one was able to get us there. It sucked.” Lauren tried to explain.

  “And all those kids that did get to play sports are probably wishing they had your mom about right now.” Megan said

  “I know. I’ve been thinking a lot about that lately. I gave mom such a hard time back then. She tries, in her own way but her way isn’t something I know how to handle. I’ve always wanted that cookie cutter mom and she isn’t even close to being that.”

  “I know, but she is awesome even if she doesn’t fit into your perfect mold. You ever get the impression she wanted you to be different?” Megan asked Lauren

  “Actually no, not even during my EMO stage. I remember coming home with hair shaved around the sides and dyed pitch black. I was waiting for her to bitch but nope, all she did was tell me she loved me. She even went with me when I got my first tattoo. It was a birthday present from her.” Lauren said remembering it all too well.

  “Maybe it’s time to cut her some slack like she did for you?” Megan asked.

  “Ya, maybe.” The guilt had gotten to Lauren hard and fast. It hit her right in the middle of her stomach. She had an overwhelming need to go home and give her mom a big hug and tell her how much she loved her. “Let’s get going so we can get home.”

  His hands were on the bridle of the horse before either girl knew what was going on. “Woah!” he commanded as he tried to steer Lauren’s horse away from Megan’s.

  “What the fuck!” Lauren screamed as she kneed the gelding, trying to get him away from the stranger. “Let go of my horse!”

  The horse, confused on what command to follow, started to bounce his head in defiance.

  “Megan?” Lauren screamed.

  “I’m here!” Megan responded as she rode around to the other side of Lauren. She guided her horse in to try and get close enough to kick at the man.

  “Stop it! Let go!” Lauren was now getting highly agitated. Where did this guy come from?

  Megan gave the hijacker a swift kick in his back, sending him straight to the ground. “Come on! Let’s get out of here!” she screamed as she kneed her pony hard. Lauren looked down at the man as he was trying to get back on his feet.

  “Josh?” she said, stunned.

  “Give me your damn horse!” he yelled up at her as he reached for her stirrup

  “Lauren! Let’s go! Now!” Megan shrieked

  Lauren walked her horse off away from the man and looked back, pity written across her face. Turning the horses head towards Megan, Lauren clicked her tongue and road off silently, her mind in a whirlwind as memories flooded in of the boy who asked her out on her first date.

  “No, I was born close
to here. My youngest brother was born just south of Cleveland. We moved from here to Indianapolis when I was like, I don’t know, maybe twelve?” Lauren was saying to Megan

  “Then how was he your first date?” Megan confused

  “My grandparents still lived here, when they were alive. When I would come back to visit for the summer, I didn’t exactly stick around their place. Josh was a neighbor kid back then and we hung out a lot together before my grands died.” Lauren explained

  “Oh! Makes sense now” Megan “I can’t believe he acted like a crazed lunatic with you though if you knew him! That’s just nuts!”

  “We probably better start paying better attention now that we are getting closer to town. There’s a couple more houses and then we hit the city limit. I’ll be honest, Megs. I’m kinda concerned on what we will find but I need to get to my apartment. We will be safer there.” Lauren continued

  “If you think so. I know one thing. We get into trouble and your mom is going to kill us.”

  The two road in silence as they neared the town’s outskirts. They had ridden past a few abandoned cars but now that they were entering town, the streets had been cleared. The residents had pushed them across the main entrance to block anyone traveling. Men and woman were stationed at the outpost as the two road up, naive to the sites locked on their positions.

  “Ladies!” the big burley man yelled out from behind the Ford LTD “What brings you out this fine day?”

  “I...I used to live in town here. “Lauren stammered, fear setting in as she surveyed the scene before her. Never before in her life had she ever had a gun pointed at her. “Have an apartment up on Hickory St. Was wanting to get back in so I could pick up some of my stuff.”

  “Sorry ma’am. All abandoned properties have been confiscated by the Sherriff.”

  “Ben?” Lauren asked confused

  “You know Sherriff Olan?” the man, now a bit interested in who this visitor was.