Don't Judge

by A. E. Via

  “I was a coward to run the way I did. I didn’t want to face what was coming with my dad but most of all I realized that I was about to face it alone. I should’ve let you come with me. I was alone and hurt and by the time I realized that it was you I was hurting for the most, I’d already fucked up. I was angry for losing someone very special, the one person that’s been constant in my life and instead of being a man and dealing with it… I lashed out at you. When I knew it wasn’t you’re fault.” Judge puffed a breath of air. “My father always said common sense was love’s arch enemy. Fools fall in love.”

  Michaels kept his back turned, smiling at the old wisdom. He put the roasting pan in the oven and placed a skillet on the range to sauté his fresh green beans in some garlic and butter. He hadn’t turned to face Judge. His will was waning with every word he spoke. How could he stay mad at a man that had reacted badly after hearing he had only hours to say goodbye to someone he love? And that death stirring up ghost that had been laid to rest for years.

  “Honey. I’ve never apologized to anyone. I’ve never begged for anything a day in my life.”

  Michaels tensed. Judge was standing so close behind him now he could feel his warmth, smell the faint traces of his spicy cologne. He knew he couldn’t fight what his heart wanted any longer.

  “But, I’m here begging you for your forgiveness. Wanting another chance. Even if you say no right now. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll ask tomorrow, and the next day and the next until you tell me you want me too. Judge put one large hand on Michaels’ waist and applied just the right amount of pressure and Michaels fell back into the embrace. “I love you Austin and I’m not gonna stop begging until you tell me you love me too.”

  Michaels thought he hadn’t heard right but Judge’s whisky-hewn voice was right there in his ear and he hadn’t mumbled it, he’d said it as clear as day. He loved him. Judge wrapped both muscular arms around Michaels and he welcomed it. Why deny himself any longer? Why wallow in misery? He let Judge turn him around. He stared at Judge, saw the honesty and the sorrow. Knew his apology was genuine. If Judge hurt him again than...

  Michaels squeezed his eyes shut. “You leveled me, Judge. I… I couldn’t even function.”

  Judge nodded his head like he understood. “I know. I know I did. But, I’m asking you to trust me.”

  Michaels’ voice was stern. “One more.”

  Judge smiled at him. “One more chance is all I need.” Judge claimed Michaels’ mouth swallowed any and all possible rejection and savored only his acceptance. The kiss was intense and full of what Judge was promising. When he pulled back, Judge cupped both of Michaels’ scratchy cheeks and whispered into his mouth. “God, you’re beautiful. What the fuck was I thinking?”

  They kissed again, fuller, longer. Michaels held on to him, rubbed every part of him within reach. His breathing was heavy as they broke apart to gulp a breath of air. He rested his forehead against Judge’s, tangling his fingers in his beard. His eyes stung but he refused to cry. His heart wept with joy on the inside and his throat dislodged the lump that had been there for days, just long enough for him to whisper back, “I love you too, Judge. I do.”

  Judge sighed and slumped like someone had lifted the weight of the world off him. “Thank you.” He kissed Michaels’ face, his neck, his forehead, and his tired eyes. “I’ll never run from you again.”

  Michaels tilted his head to the side while Judge licked at his throat, nipped at the course hairs on his cheeks. Judge’s beard tickled the sensitive skin above his rapidly beating pulse. “You better not.”

  Judge chuckled lightly and pulled Michaels’ hair until he was looking up at him.

  Chapter Thirty-eight

  Judge’s heart had been racing during his confession. No one knew that story but his later father and Linda… now Michaels. He trusted him, trusted this man with his heart. He looked at Michaels’ face. Even with the scar, the scratches, the bruising, he was still the most attractive man he’d ever seen. Seeing that he’d been hurt by that asshole only made Judge feel even more guilty but Michaels had forgiven him so he had to forgive himself or it would only cause damage later.

  He smoothed his hand over Michaels’ wet hair. That look was there again, the look of want and adoration in Michaels’ sparkling eyes. Judge thought Michaels would never look at him like that again. “When you look at me like that it almost makes me want to double check that you’re actually looking at me.”

  “Of course I’m looking at you.” Michaels draped both arms over Judge’s shoulders.

  Judge gave Michaels a chaste kiss. Another one that started out innocently but morphed into something carnal and full of desire. “I need you right now.” Judge hissed, feeling his erection pushing against his dark jeans.

  Michaels smiled against the side of his face, nuzzling him affectionately. “I want you too, but I want something else first.” He purred.

  Judge growled. “Mmmm. What do you want first? My mouth all over you. Hmmm? My tongue deep inside you.”

  Michaels nibbled at Judge’s jaw, making his cock throb heavily against that hard thigh pushing back into him. “Actually. I want to eat my trout that it took all day to catch.”

  Judge squeezed Michaels to him and laughed. “Is there enough for me?”

  “I might be tempted to share my dinner with you.”

  Judge’s smile fell slowly. “Are you willing to share anything else with me?” He said carefully. Looking into Michaels’ eyes, searching for more honesty.

  “Yes. Plenty more. So much more.”

  Judge had washed up while Michaels finished dinner. The whole time he’d showered there was a large smile on his face. It was such a unique feeling. But all was right in the world now… at least for him. He didn’t know what to expect when he’d got to the cabin today and saw Michaels out there on that lake, looking exactly how Judge felt. He’d thought that Michaels was going to make him get on his knees and beg until dawn, kiss his pinky ring and swear his allegiance, do something outrageous to prove his loyalty. But, no. Michaels was a class act, not a drama queen. He’d listened to what Judge had to say and accepted it for the truth it was. If he wasn’t going to take him back, then Michaels would’ve sent him packing fast, he wouldn’t have been vengeful. That’s just another reason why Judge loved him. He was so glad he’d listened to Duke. Listened to his father. They’d both said the same thing. ‘You won’t know if he never wants to see you again, unless you ask. Apologize for your wrong… and simply ask.’

  Damn if they hadn’t been right.

  Now he’d honor his father’s last wish. To not live a lonely loveless existence and die miserable and alone. It looked like Michaels wanted the same thing. Someone to listen to your rants when you had a hard day at work, someone to hold while you watched a movie, someone to eat dinner with instead of an overcooked microwave meal in front of the TV.

  Judge put on a loose pair of sweats and a black tank top. Michaels was just setting both their plates down when Judge came back into the large eat-in kitchen. The food looked like something you’d find in a five-star restaurant. The fish was broiled to perfection, the green beans had the perfect blend of butter and garlic and some type of salad with a wonderfully tart dressing. “What kind of sauce is this on the salad?” Judge shoved in another fork full.

  Michaels’ cheeks turned just a hint of rose when he responded. “It’s a raspberry vinaigrette.”

  “I love it. Sure is better than that thick ranch shit that I always pour on with a shovel.” Judge winked.

  “Well, it’s Day’s recipe.” Michaels shrugged. “Just one of the many I’ve stole from him.”

  Judge pfftd’ at the mention of Day’s name. One day he’d tell Michaels how his boss had stuck up for him…but not tonight. He also knew the clock was ticking on him. He needed to bring Michaels back to Atlanta the day after tomorrow. For now though… he was all his.

  “I think its badass that you can cook like this. Its wicked sexy.”

 
; “It is?”

  “Hell yes. I can’t wait to come home and find you in the kitchen in nothing but a leather apron, cooking me dinner.” Judge was laughing, but when he looked up and saw Michaels bright blue eyes zeroed in on him, he backtracked to see if he’d said something wrong. “What? What’s the matter? Okay not leather, clothe is fine.”

  “You said when you come home you want to find me in the kitchen.” Michaels tilted his head in question.

  Judge tried to cover by putting a huge forkful of white tender trout in his mouth. He chewed it slowly and Michaels continued to stare at him in amusement.

  “Should we go tomorrow to pick out the China to eat those dinners on, babe?”

  Very cute. “I was just saying.” Judge shrugged embarrassingly.

  “I know. I’m just hawking on you.” Michaels drank a sip of his wine. “Where do you live anyway? Are we gonna do a long distance thing?”

  “I can’t do long distance.”

  Michaels looked taken aback.

  “I live in Atlanta.”

  “Atlanta!” Michaels shock was evident. “No shit.”

  “No shit. Right off of DeMooney Lake. I bought a fixer-upper a few years ago, but I’m not home often to get a lot done. It’s livable though. The roof and floors are done. But still plenty left to do.”

  Michaels wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his empty plate to the side. “Could you use some help?”

  Judge couldn’t stop the grin. “You any good with wood?”

  Michaels paused for a moment before he tossed his head back and a deep genuine laugh escaped his perfect mouth. Judge laughed with him. It felt damn good. Felt like it could be like this forever. Prayed it would.

  “I think I’m real good with wood.” Michaels purred back.

  “Prove it.” Judge said, easing up from his chair.

  Michaels stood and collided with Judge’s large frame. Enough small talk, it was time to make up for their lost time. Michaels let Judge control his mouth, control his hips. Let his push his tongue in as far as he wanted and fuck his mouth with that thick appendage until he was satisfied. Judge’s hands skimmed down his back to his ass and squeezed both cheeks roughly, pulling him roughly into his erection. When Judge put on the brakes, Michaels whispered against the base of his throat. “Come here. I wanna’ show you something.”

  Judge let Michaels take his hand and lead him through the kitchen, past the back patio doors and through the spacious living room. Back into Michaels’ bedroom that looked like a small apartment, Michaels dropped his hand and flicked on a switch that was next to a set of double doors. When his man opened them Judge was floored. He was a typical man, interior design didn’t exactly make him swoon, but Michaels’’ private deck was a thing of sexual beauty. It was a raised bed, draped in sheer white canopy, completely made up with silky white sheets and about ten various sized pillows. Lavender and lilies were in large pots on each step of the deck that led down to the spacious backyard. Dim lights were lit up in the corners, but the half crescent moon cast just the right amount of illumination on them. The sounds of the lake and the crackle of the forest could be heard from where they stood. The smell of nature overwhelmed him. Michaels stood back and waited while Judge took it all in.

  “It’s you honey.”

  “What’s me?”

  “This.” Judge pointed around him. “It’s fucking gorgeous… it’s you.”

  Michaels took off his t-shirt and tossed it on the polished wood deck. His thin lounging pants soon followed. Judge watched him like a hawk. Tracked every move. Michaels tossed a few pillows to the side, parted the canopy and climbed on the raised bed. Judge couldn’t believe how lucky he was. He was inside of one of Michaels’ romance novels. This scene couldn’t be described any other way. The stars and darkness conspiring to make one sexual evening. A handsome man lying naked beneath the moonlight, his perfect body shadowed by the sheer white linen of the canopy. When Michaels started to teasingly stroke his persistently hardening length, Judge began to do exactly what Michaels had. He tossed his shirt and pants and stalked around the bed. Michaels aroused leer never left his own. He parted the curtains and climbed inside, stalking up Michaels’ muscular thighs, stopping every couple inches to kiss or lick. Familiarizing himself with Michaels’ unique flavor.

  His man gazed down at him, that gaze tender, like he’d missed him so much. Judge let Michaels caress the sides of his face, paused while he gently tucked a long strand of black hair behind his ear. Judge was in love. Michaels smelled so good, inhaled his arousal, breathed in the intoxicating smell of his desire. His thick cock was right there next to his cheek, evidence of his longing leaving a sticky trail in his beard. Judge breathed on him for a while, let him know he was there, let him know pleasure was knocking at his door. He gave Michaels just the tip of his tongue first. Then a little more. Drug the flat of his tongue along the thick veins in his shaft.

  “Come on, Judge. Don’t make me beg.” Michaels moaned, flexing his hips upwards, seeking out Judge’s mouth. His fingers were stimulating his own nipples, flicking and pinching them until they were hard nubs. Judge loved it when he did that. Sexy.

  “You’ll never have to beg me.” Judge promised right before he engulfed all of that cock. He watched what it did to his lover. Saw him fist the sheets, his legs moving restlessly along the smooth fabric. Judge’s rhythm was slow and methodic. Deep throating his man, cherishing every inch of soft skin on that hard cock. He went down to the root… stopped, flexed his throat… pulled up… sucked hard on that crying head. Licked every salty tear that fell, then dug inside that slit for more… drove back down again… stopped, swallowed. Did it over and over until Michaels was twitching and spasms wracked his glistening body. Pulled up and sucked so hard on the head that when he pulled off there was a loud pop. He stroked his fiery detective a few times in his fist. Then Judge pulled the skin tight around the base of Michaels’ dick and drove down again. Kept up that pattern until Michaels was cursing Mother Nature.

  Judge reached up and fed Michaels his fingers. Pushed his middle one past those thick lips. Drug it in and out. Michaels sucked his fingers the same way Judge was sucking his cock.

  “Fuck, Judge.”

  Judge growled and pulled his fingers from Michaels’ mouth. They were coated with saliva and Judge wasted no time sliding his middle finger deep inside Michaels’ warmth. Damn, there was no place like home, and oh how he missed it. Inside his man… that was home. Judge felt the way Michaels’ back bowed off the soft mattress when he hooked his finger and teased that special spot.

  “Deep. Go deeper, Judge. Harder.”

  Judge pulled out and pushed back in with two fingers. Fucked him hard with them, just like he asked. With his other hand he pushed one of Michaels’ thighs outward so he could lick around his stretched hole. Judge hummed as Michaels’ spirit exploded on his tongue. He firmly massaged at the tightness, using his teeth to to give Michaels that hint of pain he knew he craved.

  “Awww. Jesus. Fuck yeah.” Michaels moaned. He pushed at Judge’s shoulders. “Wait. Let me get -”

  Judge stopped his licking but when Michaels turned and leaned over the edge of the bed and pulled out a drawer underneath it, Judge kept twisting and turning his fingers inside him. Michaels back muscles flinched and strained while he retrieved what he was looking for. He placed the bottle of lube on the mattress and a couple condoms. Judge took one and tore at the wrapper. Michaels sat up quickly and rested his hand over his, stopping him. The look in those penetrating blues stole Judge’s breath away. Go bare. Damn. He hadn’t did that since he was with Brent. There was silent communication between them. A silent monogamous pact.

  Judge tossed the condom to the side and grabbed the lube, coating his cock good. When he added more inside Michaels’ hot channel, his eyes fluttered with excitement. No barrier this time. This was his man, his partner, his lover. Judge dropped down on Michaels’ chest, again putting his full weight on him. He went in for a kiss, co
axed Michaels’ wine-tasting tongue inside of his mouth, moved slowly at first, until it soon became out of control. With his mouth still connected, Judge lined his cock up with Michaels’ waiting hole and gently thrust forward. Michaels’ mouth opened wider with his gasp, Judge made sure every part of them was touching, and their eyes were locked on each other when he pushed all way in on one long drive.

  Michaels cried a beautiful sound into his face and Judge had to fight the feeling burning at his spine. “Fuckin’ love it when you cry for me like that.” His man tremored beneath him, writhed and squirmed with Judge’s cock deep inside him.

  “Yes. That’s it. More.” Michaels brought his long legs up and placed his feet flat on the bed and pushed up, urging Judge to move. Regardless, he couldn’t’ hold back anymore. Judge slid out half way and slammed back in, the pleasure stealing his sanity. It was so goddamn hot inside his lover, a heat he’ll never get tired of. A heat that sparked the fire to a full-on blaze. Judge hooked the back of both of Michael’ legs, his palms flat on the bed. Michaels was splayed open for him ready for the taken. Judge lost his mind. Powered into his man like a fool in love. Fucked him hard, fucked him until it was brutal. Michaels yelled his appreciation into the night. The truest mating call.