Bitter Truth

by Heather Hildenbrand

  It wasn’t enough.

  Two against three. Carter and I couldn’t hold it.

  Sweat burned my eyes. My throat began to close around the dust in my mouth. With a final yank that sent my shoulders rattling in the socket, I lurched forward. I knew the second Carter’s paw crossed the center line. The crowd went wild. Chaos reigned in their shouts and clapping and then as if by some invisible cue, Regan’s name emerged as a single chant.

  “Regan. Regan. Regan.”

  The roar was deafening. The one word became two syllables as they drew it out, celebrating her victory. I saw her out of the corner of my eye, already human again. Head lifted, eyes clear, shoulders back; every bit the leader they proclaimed her to be.

  I was … nothing.

  Future beta.

  But second to them meant last.

  I didn’t wait for my cue before shifting back to two legs and heading for the small door stage right.

  “Hey.” I turned at the sound of Carter’s voice. He stared back at me with dark eyes, liquid and depthless. “I’m sorry. I should’ve … I tried. I hope you know that.”

  “I do,” I managed. His apology, the fact that he even felt a little badly, made a lump rise in my throat. “Doesn’t matter. I was finished the moment they told us to pick teams.”

  He didn’t respond, but it wouldn’t have mattered if he did; Brent was already gone. Back to the stands to high five the others. Carter looked past me, silent. I shook my head. We both knew Brent had been a prop.

  I left Carter standing there and walked away without looking back. I didn’t allow myself to think of Owen somewhere in the crowd. If I did, I knew I’d picture the disappointment on his face. Or worse, pity.

  I shoved the wooden door shut with my shoulder and, for once, the smallness of the room didn’t bother me. Not if it meant the solitude I needed to compose myself.

  It was the smell that alerted me. Acrid and sweet, like metal. It permeated the small space and seeped through my nostrils, down my throat, until I tasted it over the dust that coated my tongue. My head came up, my eyes scanning.

  The room was empty. Nothing but wood walls and a dirt floor.

  Something wet fell onto my nose. I shook it off, startled, and looked up. A dagger hung upside down from the wood-planked ceiling, its tip buried deep in the splintered bark. Something wet and dripping clung to the knife blade, impaled by it. I cocked my head to the side, staring, trying to understand. Another drop fell. It hit the dust floor, two inches from my foot. I jerked back and stared. My nose twitched as my brain finally identified the scent. I’d only been this close to it one other time. The day I’d hunted in the woods. With Regan.

  Blood.

  I backed into the corner of the room, shifting back to my wolf before I’d even realized it. My eyes had gone wide and the fear in me, the human-like terror, warred with the wolf’s anger and confusion. Unable to open the door with my paws, I huddled into the far corner. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t scream. I opened my mouth. The sound that came out was a howl.

  Chapter Five

  Regan

  My blood ran cold. The howl was unmistakable—at least for me.

  Charlie.

  I shoved bodies aside, ignored their well-wishes, and ran for the stage. The sound had come from Charlie’s room backstage. I couldn’t explain how I knew it had been her. I just did.

  “What was that?” Another set of feet pounded at my heels. Carter.

  “Charlie,” was all I had time for before I hit the door. I knocked it aside with my shoulder and it swung hard. I had to shove forward to keep it from slamming shut again. Charlie was backed against the far corner, her wolf eyes wild. The set of her shoulders, the way she huddled instead of crouched, made her look manic, caged.

  “What is it?” I asked.

  Her gaze flickered upward.

  I followed it as a drop of some dark liquid fell from the ceiling and hit the dirt floor at my feet. “What the…?” I couldn’t finish. Carter crowded in next to me, wedging himself between my hip and the doorframe. The contact barely registered.

  “What the hell is that?” he asked.

  Charlie whimpered. I stared.

  “Shit. I think it’s a … a heart,” Carter said when I didn’t answer.

  I tried to swallow but it got stuck. Another drip hit the floor.

  “Huh,” Carter grunted. He seemed to be considering it, examining the red blob stuck to the ceiling by what looked like a fancy hunting knife.

  “It’s a heart,” I confirmed. I forced a swallow even though it was dry. Then I looked at Charlie. “A deer’s heart,” I murmured, thinking of our hunting day a couple of weeks back.

  Outside in the arena, the crowd was still celebrating at full volume.

  I moved quickly.

  If I slowed down for even a second, the reality would hit me. The vampire from earlier—he’d clearly been telling the truth about my kind being out to get us. No way a vampire had gotten back here unnoticed—which only left one of my own people. Doubt threatened to overtake me. I couldn’t let that happen. Not with everyone’s eyes on me. Not with Charlie falling apart like this.

  “Carter, go get my dad. And any other council members still here.”

  “Are you sure it’s a—”

  “Now, Carter!”

  He slid out. I took a deep breath.

  “Charlie?” She was still staring at the ceiling, at the heart. Another drip fell. I averted my eyes. “Charlie,” I repeated, this time more firm. “Look at me.”

  Slowly, she dragged her gaze downward. Her eyes met mine. I drew on what little mental energy I could muster. There wasn’t much left after the long day. “Come outside and talk to me,” I said. I kept my voice gentle. Partly for Charlie’s benefit, partly because it was all I had in me. I needed out of this room.

  She whimpered again.

  “Come on. I’m right here.”

  She shook her head. Her eyes had gone glassy. Shit. I couldn’t let her go into shock. Not with Dad on his way over. She couldn’t afford to look any weaker.

  “Look, you’re going to shift back. Then you can take my hand and we’ll go outside. Backstage, not into the arena. We’ll take a walk. Sound good?”

  She didn’t respond.

  Another drop fell.

  I considered walking over and dragging her out with my hands. Or shifting back to my wolf and using my teeth to do it. Before I could do either, her ribs expanded with a heavy breath and she closed her eyes. The air rippled and shook then settled again. Her form lengthened and she straightened, shooting up from the ground like Alice in Wonderland after the cake. Her hair blocked her face, but even in this form I could smell the fear.

  “Come on,” I said. I held out my hand. She hesitated. Her eyes flitted toward the floor as another drop fell. “Don’t.” I hardened my voice, willing her to obey. Dad would be here any minute. “Don’t look. Come with me now.”

  She reached for my hand and I led her out. Carter and Dad appeared at the door behind us. Al and Sylvia were close on their heels.

  “We’re going to take a walk,” I said. I gave Carter a pointed look. He nodded. Dad and the others were already staring at the ceiling in confusion.

  “Don’t go far,” Dad said, still staring upward. I pulled Charlie out and headed away from the room. As soon as we were clear, Dad cursed loudly. Charlie shivered.

  I led us farther away, into the backstage area before more specifics could reach Charlie’s ears. We found a space where the wall arched, creating a pocket where we could huddle without being trampled. More and more people were flooding toward Charlie’s room. Sheridan’s shrill voice could be heard above the hum of male voices, demanding someone fetch a plastic bag and gloves.

  “Who do you think left it?” Charlie asked. “The heart, I mean.” Her voice sounded small, barely above a whisper.

  “I don’t know.”

  “They left it for me on purpose. It means something.” I ignored the look in her eyes
that suggested we both already knew what that something was. Our hunting trip—the deer I’d pretended Charlie had killed—had been found out.

  “It means someone’s crazy,” I said.

  She didn’t say anything. We both knew it meant more than that. Carter appeared from the stage door. I waved at him from our shadowy alcove. He switched his gaze from me to Charlie as he approached. She stared up at him, nervous energy rolling off her in waves.

  “Do they know who it was?” she asked.

  “Not yet. It’ll take some time to figure out who had access to this area,” he said. He shot me a look and I knew what we were both thinking. Everyone had access—everyone from our pack, at least. The only ones who didn’t were the vampires. Which made every single werewolf here a suspect. I wondered if Dad thought that too, or if he knew the stuff my vampire visitor had told me this morning. “How are you?” Carter asked Charlie, leaning toward her.

  Her eyes flitted right and left. “I’m … all right, I guess.”

  He frowned. “Good, because your dad wants to talk to you.”

  “Give her five minutes,” I said.

  “He said now,” Carter replied apologetically.

  “It’s all right,” Charlie said to me, straightening.

  “Are you sure? Dad’s not going to go easy on you.”

  “I’ll go with her.” Carter offered her his arm.

  Something twisted in my gut. It was more than worry for Charlie. It was the same ugly feeling I’d had when I’d seen him step up to be on her team earlier. “We’ll both go,” I said.

  Dad waited with an entire entourage outside the door to Charlie’s ready room. Sheridan’s voice came from inside the room, still giving orders. Wolves patrolled the perimeter of the arena and the now empty bleachers, their noses to the ground and their ears pricking back and forth.

  “Charlie,” Dad said when we got close. His expression was all business. You’d never know by looking at him that he’d just walked in on a heart stuck to a ceiling, dripping with fresh blood. “Tell me what happened.”

  “I went back to my room after the tug of war and I didn’t see it right away. The dripping … it was the dripping that made me realize … And then I saw the knife. It was dark. I didn’t know what it held at first …” Her voice sounded unsure but clearer than when I’d first gotten to her. I breathed in relief.

  Dad frowned, studying her. “You all right?” he asked. His voice was gruff but I could see the gentleness in his eyes and, for once, I was grateful for the way he always seemed nicer to Charlie.

  “I’m fine,” she said.

  I bit back a smile at the way she jutted out her chin when she said it. The gesture was so much like Dad.

  “Good. They’ll get the heart out for analyzing and figure out what sort of creature it belongs to. The fact that someone left it for you is a clear message. One I don’t like. You’ll have to be careful about being alone until we can get this sorted out.”

  “Of course,” she agreed.

  “Regan, you get with Carter. Make a schedule and get it to me by end of day. Use the junior members, too, so it’s flexible and the word is out that she’s not an easy mark.”

  Charlie’s shoulders stiffened. “What do you mean ‘make a schedule’?”

  “For protection. You think I’m going to leave you alone so some nutcase can do to your heart what he did to that one?” Dad said.

  “But, I don’t want—”

  “It’s already decided. Regan, you and Carter get her home. I’ll meet you there after we finish up.”

  “What about the dinner?” I asked. I remembered there was supposed to be a celebratory dinner after each test day, to honor the victor.

  “We’ll reschedule. Everyone’s being sent home or put on patrols. Get going. Sheridan!” He walked away before I could argue. At least it meant he’d get rid of the vamps.

  Charlie didn’t say a word on the walk home. Carter fell back a few paces to guard our flank. My eyes darted side to side, my senses widened to catch even the smallest movement, but there was nothing.

  “Guarding me isn’t going to help,” Charlie said as we climbed the hill toward our porch.

  “Why not?” I asked, surprised at how her words echoed my thoughts.

  “Because.” She sighed. “No way a vampire would’ve gotten in there unnoticed. Which means …” She shot me a glance and her cheeks reddened. “Never mind,” she mumbled.

  I stopped her with a hand on her arm. “You don’t have to be afraid to say it,” I told her. “I agree with you.”

  “You do?” Her brows knitted as she studied me.

  “I’m going to make sure everyone on the schedule has a partner. No one guards alone. Even if the guilty party is on the rotation, they won’t have an opportunity to get to you.”

  I left Charlie in her room, told her to try and sleep. She sat on the bed as I shut the door, her expression far away, somewhere I knew I couldn’t follow. Guilt gnawed at me. I wanted to help, but I had no idea what to say, how to begin. Part of it was my fault anyway; stabbed heart aside, she’d lost today. To me. I couldn’t be the one to console her about it.

  Carter waited in the study. I pressed my lips together, ignoring him as I went to the desk to make up a schedule. Even after everything with the bloody heart, I was still irritated he’d helped Charlie in the tug of war. At how concerned he’d been after the heart had been discovered.

  “How is she?” he asked. I scowled before I could bury the reaction. Carter’s eyes narrowed. “What?” he asked.

  “Nothing,” I muttered. I waited but he let it pass.

  We made the schedule pretty quickly. While none of the pack had a particular fondness for Charlie, none wanted to be sidelined if there was any action to be had. I was fairly certain from the comments I’d overheard that most of the pack assumed we were dealing with a vampire. I didn’t correct them, but I made sure to mix it up, senior patrollers with juniors, just as my dad had asked. And everyone had a buddy.

  “I’m going to get a copy of this to Sheridan so she can post it for everyone,” Carter said when we were done. I remained silent. He rose, but made no move to leave. “Regan,” he spoke quietly. I hated the way my skin pricked at the way my name sounded coming from his lips.

  I dragged my gaze to his. “What?”

  “Are you going to tell me why you’re mad at me? Or make me guess?”

  I hesitated. His tone didn’t have the punch of defensiveness it usually did when he knew I was angry with him. Usually, he’d be just as short with me before he even knew the reason for my anger. Usually he didn’t look like it hurt.

  When I still didn’t answer he took a step toward where I sat in the chair, his face angled down toward mine. The closeness distracted me. I struggled to stay angry while my heart beat faster. The memory of our kiss in the woods replayed over and over, blotting out my irritation, making the reason fuzzy.

  When he placed his hands on the armrests and bent down, his face blocking out all else, I swallowed. “You helped her.”

  “Who?”

  His cluelessness reignited my temper. “Don’t act stupid. Charlie. You helped Charlie. With the tug of war and picking her team. You’re supposed to be on my side, my beta, and you helped her.”

  He blinked and straightened. “I am on your side, but this is your pack, Regan. She doesn’t have anybody.”

  “Now she has you.” I snorted, full of temper now. “Smart of you to keep your options open for that beta position. You know, in case something happens to me in the end. I know how badly you want it,” I snapped. The minute the words were out, I regretted them.

  Carter took a step back, his jaw slack for a beat. Finally, he shook his head. “I don’t want it bad enough to purposely hurt Charlie. Or you.” His voice had gone quiet again. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I was used to the harsh words, the quick comebacks, but not this.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you.” I sighed. “I get it. You were being
nice. I just…” I bit my cheek to keep my expression neutral but all I could think about was that damn vampire in my bedroom and his accusations. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to spill everything to Carter. But the house felt so … exposed. I couldn’t. Not here.

  “The heart,” I whispered, my eyes burning with hot tears.

  Carter closed the distance, pulled me to my feet, and his arms came around me. That did it. The tears spilled over onto my cheeks. I gave in to the urge to let the wall down, even if only for a moment, and buried my face in his shoulder. I used the fabric of his shirt to dry my face. He didn’t move or loosen his hold until I pulled away. I wiped my cheeks with my palms, feeling embarrassed. I hated crying—especially in front of people. This was the second time I’d done it in front of Carter in the space of a few days.

  “We’re going to find who did it,” Carter said. I met his eyes. They were filled not with pity or sadness but with determination and hunger for justice. It was everything I needed to pull it together.

  “Thank you,” I told him.

  “You should get some sleep,” he said. “It’s been a long day.”

  “I’m going to check on Charlie one more time and then I will,” I said, walking him to the door. I tensed for a moment when he paused in the opening to look back at me. I thought he might kiss me, but he only smiled and slipped out. Disappointment pricked at me, surprising me.

  Had I wanted him to kiss me? Carter, the boy I’d known—and fought with—my whole life. The boy who had started a rumor that I picked my nose in second grade. The boy I’d wrestled with and gotten mad at and competed against. The boy I’d gone out of my way to avoid unless I needed a good wrestling match.

  I had feelings for him, I realized. Feelings that involved hugs and kisses and sappy staring from across the room. Feelings that made me want a future that held something more than alpha and beta. A flutter ran though me at the thought—hope soaring inside me—but it crashed quickly.