Bitter Truth

by Heather Hildenbrand

  I could’ve argued. I should’ve. But I didn’t.

  Instead, I let him kiss me again.

  Chapter Twelve

  Charlie

  The moment I stepped off the dais, I was caught up in a swarm of bodies. At first, I thought they meant to surround Regan in a show of support, but they stopped when they reached me. Voices swirled together with words like “great job” and “we knew you could do it.” Ha!

  There were more vampires than members of my pack but even so, it was a shock to finally feel as if people were rooting for me. My hand was shaken, smiles were handed out, “Congratulations” given. All the while, my head spun with the hum of their pleasantries and the shock of my victory.

  I won the test.

  Not Regan. Me. Charlie Vuk.

  I actually had a shot at alpha. At being with Owen openly.

  Through a break in the crowd, I caught sight of Regan as she slipped away from the stage and into the trees. She was alone. A quick glance told me no one had even noticed her going. Even our father seemed caught up in my win. He was locked in low conversation with Mr. Rossi, but he kept catching my eye and nodding appreciatively—the most show of excitement I’d ever seen from him. I couldn’t see Regan’s expression as she left but if the set of her shoulders was any indication, I didn’t need to.

  I found Carter not far behind me. I jerked my head in Regan’s direction. His eyes flitted and scanned. I knew the moment he spotted her. His expression completely shifted and it made me pause. I knew they were friends, but the way he was looking at Regan’s retreating back … It was the same expression I imagined on my face when I looked at Owen. Was there more between them? Apparently, there was for Carter. He broke away from his dad and elbowed his way out of the crowd. I watched him follow her away and wondered if Regan knew the way he looked at her.

  The crowd slowly dissipated and I found myself with enough room in front of me to move toward the sidelines and a possible exit. The moment the last well-wisher drifted away, I stepped off the faux grass carpeting that marked the tent’s edge and hurried into the trees.

  I hadn’t gone far when I heard voices. One male, one female. They were low, as if they were afraid of people hearing or they were standing very close together. Curious, I slowed and picked my way carefully over the narrow trail. When I got close, I recognized the back of Regan’s honey-brown hair falling over her shoulders. Carter was standing in front of her and they were talking. She seemed less tense. Good, maybe he’d said something to make her feel better.

  I took a step toward them. I wanted to talk to Regan, make sure she knew she wasn’t a failure. I’d seen the look in her eyes enough times already to know she carried the weight of any sort of loss heavier than most people did.

  I took another step and then froze.

  Carter was no longer speaking to Regan. He was kissing her! I held my breath and waited for Regan to react. To pull away and kick him or yell or something Reganish. But she didn’t move. After a moment, she leaned in and her hands landed on Carter’s chest, sliding slowly upward to caress his shoulders.

  Ohmygod, Regan was kissing Carter!

  “It’s not nice to spy.”

  The words were so unexpected that although they were whispered, I jumped. I whirled and found Owen behind me, a small smile playing at the edges of his mouth. His familiar scent, not-quite-human, not-quite-alive, reached me just as he did.

  “It’s not nice to sneak up on people either,” I said.

  He planted a kiss on my cheek, his eyes wide with mock innocence. “You must not be using all of your senses again.”

  I swatted at him and he dodged it, light on his feet as always. I scowled and swung again. This time, he caught my wrist in his hand and held it still. I brought my other arm up but he was too quick and again, held my wrist firm in his grasp.

  “Owen, let go,” I said, laughing.

  “Nope. Not until I get a victory kiss.”

  “Um, the victory was mine.”

  “Have it your way then,” he purred. “I’ll kiss you.”

  Still holding my wrists, he closed the distance between us and caught my mouth with his. I leaned into the kiss, happy to be held in such a delicious trap.

  “What the hell? Are you trying to rub it in or what?”

  At Regan’s shrieking, I yanked away and almost lost my footing. The only thing that held me up were Owen’s hands still clamped around my wrists.

  Regan broke away from Carter, who tried to snatch her wrist but missed as she marched toward Owen. “Are you trying to test the limits of my patience?” Regan demanded, rounding the tree like a storm cloud cresting a mountain. “Because today is not the best day for that.” As proof, her form shook and shimmered at the edges. Her face was red with either temper or the exertion of not shifting. Or both.

  “Regan, I didn’t mean—”

  She cut me off and leaned at Owen. “And why are you holding her down? Is that how vampires treat their women? Or just you?”

  “Obviously not.” His lips curled into an impish smile. “Although I’m open to new things.”

  This was so not the time to tease. I glared at him, hoping my murderous expression was clear. He stopped talking.

  “Regan, calm down,” I said. “We’re all on the same side, remember?”

  Regan snorted, but there was no humor as she glared back at me. “No, you and Owen are on a team, that much is clear. But obviously you weren’t on the same stage I was. You and I are not on the same team.”

  I felt her words like a slap. Especially after last night and everything we’d laid out, promising to help each other. Clearly, I’d overestimated our sibling bond. “Regan, I…”

  “That’s enough,” Owen said.

  Carter walked over and cut in before Regan could spew whatever had been on the tip of her tongue. “Regan’s not used to losing. Or seeing … this,” Carter explained, gesturing to Owen and me.

  “Carter, don’t manage me,” Regan snapped and he jerked back. That got her attention. She blinked and her shoulders sagged as she turned to him. “Sorry,” she said quietly and then to me, “Knowing you’re together is one thing. Seeing it … that’s another. You don’t have to rub it in my face.”

  I could feel my patience waning. I took a deep breath, trying again, this time with less temper. “Regan, I didn’t mean for you to see us. I was looking for you and then Owen found me. And as far as public displays go, yours wasn’t any better than mine.”

  I looked pointedly at Carter. For a moment, his irritation disappeared and his eyes sparkled. He pressed his lips together as if fighting a smile, but then, he glanced at Regan and just as quickly as it’d lifted, the stony expression returned.

  Regan’s face reddened further—something I didn’t think was possible. She opened her mouth, closed it again. It gave me a stab of satisfaction to see her at a loss for words.

  “Looks like we’re even,” I said.

  Regan shook her head, angry all over again. “Even? You think because you won today it gives you a chance against me. It doesn’t. We’re not even. We’re not equal. I am meant to be alpha, not you.” She bit out every word, all but spitting at me.

  “Really? And why is that?” I shot back, hurt and angry at the way she was treating me. “Because you can hunt deer with your teeth?”

  “No. Because duty will always come before desire,” she said. Her cheeks were spotted with red but her eyes were filled with tears. I knew then she wasn’t angry at me—she was angry at what she thought was expected of her. In the back of my mind, I felt sorry, but I couldn’t quite reach pity through the anger.

  Regan was hooking up with Carter, and I had won the second alpha test. My skin might as well have been armored. Nothing she said could hurt me now.

  “Duty before desire, huh?” I asked, letting Owen pull me against his side and giving Regan a smug smile. “Looks like I’m going to have both.”

  Regan’s jaw dropped open with shock. She wasn’t used to having
me stand up to her. She needed to get used to it. We were on even footing now. The contest was tied. I could just as easily win this thing as her. In fact, I intended to.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Regan

  The mood as we drove home from vampire-land was subdued. Despite being with Carter earlier, I wrestled between anger and shame the entire trip. Carter sat next to me and Sylvia next to him. Both of them were quiet.

  In the seat across from us, my dad faced me while somehow not looking at me at all. I wondered if he’d rather have ridden with Charlie. But she was in the car behind us with Sheridan and Carter’s dad.

  At least I didn’t have to deal with Sheridan too. My dad’s silent disappointment was enough. Her condescending frown would’ve only pushed me further. As it was, I wanted to yell—or hit something. Maybe I should’ve fought with Carter instead of kissing him. The memory of our kiss washed over me and I felt my cheeks heat as I became aware of the way our thighs brushed on the seat of the car. Suddenly, it felt intimate to be touching him this way.

  It was ridiculous that such a small amount of contact was enough to distract me from my otherwise consuming thoughts. Remembering how it felt to have Carter’s mouth against mine made my stomach jump. My palms itched. I glanced over at his hands folded in his lap. I wanted to hold one in mine.

  I shook myself. This was crazy. Carter was ... Carter. I didn’t have actual feelings for him ... did I? His fingers twitched and I looked up and found him looking at me. He smiled. I looked away. Yes. I had feelings for Carter. Deep, impossible feelings. With nothing else to do about them but hope they went away.

  For the briefest moment I allowed myself to wonder what it would be like if Charlie won. If she became alpha, married Owen, and I became her beta. I would be free to act on my feelings for Carter. We could be ... a couple. He could kiss me again, whenever we wanted. Openly. Dad might even be happy about it.

  After the way Charlie had stood up to me in the forest—oh, man, she saw me kissing Carter—I almost believed that future could come about. For the first time, I really thought there was a chance I could lose.

  But then I pictured my father’s face when he learned I’d lost. The disappointment. The shame. And the rest of the pack. Bevin. Lane. Carter.

  They all expected me to win. Needed me to win.

  I thought of my mother. I had no idea if marrying my father had been her choice. I’d always assumed it was, but now, after meeting Valentino, I wasn’t so sure. The way he spoke about her, it was clear he’d loved her. And I could only assume she’d felt the same. She’d have to care about him a lot to risk so much in order to spend time with him.

  Regardless, my mother had put duty first. She could’ve run off, left my dad and me, chosen Valentino. But she stayed and led her pack. I know she’d expect the same of me if she were here.

  I couldn’t turn my back on my pack, my family. My sister.

  Charlie didn’t know the first thing about leading. She couldn’t even hunt. And she might think she had real feelings for Owen, but when it came down to it, he was a vampire. His kind was dangerous, unpredictable. I couldn’t allow her to marry him. Just because she had stood up to me didn’t mean she was ready to stand up in front of the joined kingdoms. They’d eat her alive.

  What if something happened to her? It would be my fault and I’d have to live with that forever. No, I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be that selfish. No matter how much I wished for the ability to make my own choices, to build my own future, I’d meant what I said to Charlie, though I knew I’d been a little harsh with the delivery. Duty would always come before desire. The choice—though it’d never been a choice, not really—felt like closing the flap on a particularly sad book. One where you hoped for a last-minute plot twist but still it gave you the inevitable bitter ending you saw coming.

  On top of that, guilt pricked at me for the way I’d spoken to Charlie in the woods. I’d torn down everything we’d built and destroyed what little relationship we’d forged. If I was honest, I’d lashed out at her because I couldn’t say how I felt to Dad or the council of elders. I couldn’t tell them I just wanted to be with Carter, to be free of the pressure. So I’d taken it out on Charlie.

  Tears stung the corners of my eyes. I blinked, staring out the window without really seeing. Now was not the time to get caught up in self-pity over a lost future. Plenty of time for that after. Especially since, according to Charlie’s answer in the last test, marriage to a vampire was forever. No divorce. No changing your mind. For all time, she’d said.

  That was too long to imagine. Especially married to a guy I couldn’t stand. What did they call a girl who married and then killed her husband? A black widow?

  Sylvia moved in her seat, causing Carter’s arm and hip to press harder against me. It left me feeling strangely empty after the direction of my thoughts the past few minutes. I leaned away. I needed out of this car.

  Tires crunched over gravel as the borrowed car pulled onto the one-lane drive that led up the hill I called home. I watched as we passed through the familiar pines, their trunks extending too far up to see the tops. The ground was littered with pine cones and needles, softening the crunch of the wheels over the packed rock. Then the trees gave way and the rock turned to dirt and the house came into view.

  The last time home had looked this inviting Mom had been alive and Dad had smiled more. I had my door open and my feet pointed toward the ground before the car had come to a full stop.

  “Goodness, Regan, where’s the fire?” Sylvia called from inside the car.

  I didn’t answer. Or look back. Or stop.

  The woods were calling. My wolf needed to run.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Charlie

  My newfound confidence waned the moment Regan stomped away. Reality started to set in as soon as Owen kissed me goodbye at the edge of the trees, leaving me to approach the waiting motorcade without the comfort of his touch. I stopped in front of the open door to the vehicle and turned to look at the house I was leaving behind.

  As brief as the visit had been, the vampires had been kind to me. Much kinder than anyone in the pack, if I was going to be honest with myself. They made me feel like I belonged with them, despite the fact that vampires were such a cold, aristocratic race. Or maybe I was confusing my feelings of belonging with Owen.

  Either way, I didn’t want to leave the house. The idea of having to return to our neighborhood and face Paradise made my confidence waver like a candle flame in front of an open window. When I realized that Sheridan was going to get in the same limousine as me the flame guttered out completely. In the wake of my argument with Regan, I’d forgotten all about my suspicions and hadn’t mentioned it to Owen or the others. Now, at the thought of being stuck in the car with her all the way home, I couldn’t even make myself return her smile.

  Sheridan gestured to the open limousine. “Age before beauty,” she said lightly. I couldn’t tell if she was joking or not.

  I slipped onto the cool leather seats beside Carter’s dad. Sheridan took the bench across from me and slammed the door. The limo’s windows were tinted so dark that Sheridan seemed to sink into shadow when she sat back against the bench, arms draped over the seats, legs crossed at the knees. The position was somewhere between predatory and inviting. Like she was saying, Welcome to my lair, little lamb.

  “You must be eager to return home,” Sheridan said.

  The car stirred to motion, making me twitch. I dug my fingernails into my knee caps. “Yeah,” I said. “Eager.”

  “You performed an impressive upset at the second test. You’re doing well.”

  “Thanks,” I said, although she hadn’t really made it sound like a compliment.

  “You seem to be familiarizing yourself with vampires well, too.” Her voice was silken danger, but I forced myself to relax. I didn’t want to react to what she said and give away my relationship with Owen, so I looked out the window instead, as if I cared about the road sliding past. C
ould she know about us? Would Regan have told her?

  Recalling what Owen had once told me, I said, “Knowledge is a weapon.”

  Sheridan leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her legs. Dim light spilled over her face as the limousine turned. It highlighted the deep lines on her face. “That it is, dear Charlotte,” she said.

  I ignored her use of my formal name, certain she only wanted a rise out of me. I cocked my head to the side. “There’s something I’ve been curious about ever since the question was given by Mr. Rossi.”

  “Which question is that?” she asked, lacing her fingers together.

  “The one about there being a cure for a werewolf ingesting bitterroot. I thought there was no cure, but that was apparently incorrect.”

  Sheridan’s mouth tightened fractionally, the only change in her features to give away her discomfort on the subject. Guess I shouldn’t be surprised that werewolves were touchy about one of the few things that could kill them.

  She sat back, letting her upper body fall into shadow again. “That question and subsequent answer were not unanimously voted on for inclusion.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It means there is no cure for bitterroot. Not now. Not ever. Remember that.” Sheridan’s tone made it clear the conversation was over.

  Maybe that was what she thought, but I felt a stirring of my earlier confidence rise up within me again. I had to push it. I needed to know. “If the answer wasn’t unanimous, then what did Mr. Rossi think was correct?”

  “Tell me, girl,” Sheridan said, her words turning sharp. “If you were quizzed on the color of the sky and told you were wrong for answering ‘blue,’ would you entertain the possibility that the sky might be red?” She snorted. “It’s a waste of time.”

  “So the vampires think there’s a cure for bitterroot?” I asked, too confused to be intimidated or insulted by her obvious irritation.