Kiss Her Goodbye

by Allan Guthrie

"Find out what?" Joe said.

  "No fucking way. Poor guy, you'd just suffered a bereavement and there's Ruth wanting to rub salt in your wounds. Why the fuck are you two so cruel to each other? Don't know if you remember, but I asked you once why you stayed together. You just said, fuck it, she's Gemma's mum. We're married, got a kid together. It's got to mean something. Nothing else does.

  "Then you'd go and bang that whore next to you. Why do you do that, Joe? She gives good head, you tell me. You think that's a good enough reason?

  "Anyway, I never wanted to get you into trouble. That was the whole point. Me," — he banged the butt of the gun against his chest — "trying to protect you." He waved the gun at Joe. "You know that. But what choice did I have? It was either that, or have you find out…

  "I'm running ahead of myself. I haven't slept much since this all kicked off. Maybe an hour at a time. When I nod off, I dream about Gemma. Believe that? I haven't once dreamed about Ruth. Sign of a clear conscience, eh?

  "So, that night, I drove across town to your flat. Ruth was in a state. She was so far gone, actually, that she asked me to leave. Claimed she didn't want to see me. Didn't want me touching her. A pile of emotional stuff like that. I waited for her to calm down. I just stood there. Motionless. Like I was on a job. She didn't respond too well. She kicked me, in fact. Bruise is still there. On the shin. Same leg you've fucking smashed up. She called me all sorts of unrepeatable names.

  "Well, I was under pressure, you have to understand, and I snapped."

  He let out a long breath. The silence stretched. Joe heard himself breathing.

  Cooper said, "I hit her once. To get her to shut up. She dropped. Must have been out before she struck the floor. Back of her head bounced. Looked a bit nasty. No way she was going to get up for a while. I checked her out. No blood. Start of a swelling, though. She was breathing. I thought she'd be well pissed off when she woke up. And then she'd definitely tell you everything.

  "I wasn't thinking too clearly, I suppose. Sat down at the table. Poured myself some vodka. Knocked it back. I've always found alcohol highly inspirational. I called Mr. Park here. Left a message. Had another vodka. Drank it slower. Ruth didn't move. She looked peaceful, bless her.

  "Mr. Park phoned me back within five minutes and I explained the situation. He had a handle on the whole concept before the words came out of my mouth. It was like talking to God, I swear."

  Park raised his eyebrows.

  Joe said, "What was it you didn't want me to know?"

  "Fucking patience is a fucking virtue, Joe." Cooper stabbed the air with his gun. "All right?" After a long silence he lowered the gun and held it by his side. "As I was saying, if I can get on with my story, I'd finished off the vodka by the time Mr. Park arrived. He went on ahead to check the coast was clear. I followed him downstairs with Ruth slung over my shoulder. I'd found your car keys in her handbag. Nobody saw us inside the building and if anybody saw us outside, they haven't told the police. Anyway, I was dragging her alongside me, you know, with her arm draped over my shoulder. Probably looked like she'd drunk too much."

  "When did you realize she was dead?" Joe said.

  "Oh, I knew she wasn't dead," Cooper said. "She was breathing. Actually, she woke up just before we reached the car. Could have been a problem. Luckily I spotted your baseball bat and had an idea."

  "Jesus help you," Adam said.

  Cooper pointed the gun at Adam. "Interrupt me again and I'll arrange for you to put in a good word for me first. I'm just getting to the good part."

  Joe placed his hands on the floor. Park moved towards him.

  Cooper swung his arm towards Joe. "Stay where you are."

  Joe presented his palms to Cooper and leaned backwards.

  "I'm fed up telling you, Joe. Don't you want to hear the rest?"

  Joe said nothing.

  "Well?"

  He nodded.

  "Say it."

  "I want to hear the rest."

  "Ask nicely."

  "Please."

  "Okay," Cooper said. "Just keep fucking quiet and stay still. That too much to ask? You don't hear me whining and I've got a fucked up leg that hurts like a bitch and an elbow that isn't much better."

  "I'll be quiet."

  "Right. Mr. Park, myself and Ruth got in your car. Mr. Park said he knew somewhere suitable. Somewhere we could dispose of Ruth. No security cameras. She moaned a bit. She was concussed, I think. Didn't know much about what was happening. We drove to a small industrial estate. Nicely secluded. No cameras. We checked to make sure. Dragged Ruth out of the car. She couldn't stand on her own. Mr. Park tried holding her up, but I couldn't get a proper swing. In the end, we let her drop to the ground and I walloped her a couple of dozen times with your baseball bat. Really put my back into it. When we were sure she was dead, we put her in the boot and drove your car back home."

  The silence in the little church was total. Nobody moved a muscle. Even Adam had stopped shaking. If Cooper wanted stillness, he'd got it.

  Joe said quietly, "What was it you didn't want her to tell me?"

  "I haven't finished my story. Next day, I arranged for Mr. Park to follow you. When he told me you were at the airport, I drove out to meet him. I still had Ruth's keys. Mr. Park had the bright idea of getting one of the airport staff to write down your flight number. I popped the scrap of paper in your glove compartment. Took your car for a spin and left it somewhere conspicuous with the boot open. Found a phone box and told the police about the car with the boot open and the body in it and hung up. Then Mr. Park drove me home. You know, I haven't had a good night's sleep since."

  "That's a shame," Tina said. "I really feel for you."

  "What was it you didn't want me to know?" Joe said.

  "Two things, actually, Joe," Cooper said. "First of all, me and Ruth have been fucking each other's brains out on a regular basis since university."

  Steel fingers pressed hard against Joe's temples. But he was amazed at how little surprise he felt. "And the other thing?"

  "Ah," Cooper said. "That's going to really hurt." He smiled. "You ready?"

  "Tell me. Can't be that bad."

  "But it is, Joe. It's very fucking bad."

  "Tell me."

  Cooper screwed his face up as he shifted his weight from one buttock to the other. "You really fucked my leg up, Joe. That wasn't nice."

  "You going to tell me?" Joe said. "Or are you just going to whinge about your leg?"

  Cooper nodded slowly. "It's about Gemma," he said. "She's not your daughter." He paused. "She's mine."

  Joe sprang forward.

  "Stay there," Cooper said, arm fully extended, gun inches from Joe's forehead.

  Joe stared at the man in front of him. He didn't recognize him at all.

  "You thought you had nothing to lose," Cooper said. "How wrong were you?" He chuckled. "Okay, Joe. Time to get down to business. You have a preference for which kneecap goes first?"

  Joe heard a roar from his right and saw Adam swinging the baseball bat. Cooper turned. A shot rang out, halting Adam's forward momentum. The bat fell out of his grasp and Joe lunged for it, catching it on the bounce. In the same movement he swivelled on his knee, bringing the bat round in a curve. Cooper's eyes registered disbelief a split second before the bat struck him on the side of the face with enough power to knock him onto the floor. The gun fell out of his hand. As Park stooped to pick it up, Tina kicked him under the chin. His head snapped back and blood sprayed out of his mouth. Tina kicked the gun towards Joe. Then she booted Park in the face again.

  One hand on the bench, Cooper tried to pick himself up.

  Joe bent over him and hit him on the back of the head. Joe's side exploded with pain.

  Cooper slumped.

  Park's eyes darted from side to side. His hands were cupped over his mouth, blood dripping between his fingers. Tina kicked him again and his nose crunched.

  Gingerly, Joe stooped to pick up the gun. He pointed it at Park. "Tie him up
," he said to Tina. She used the strip of blanket that had acted as Sally's gag to bind Park's hands behind his back.

  Joe turned to Cooper. "Give me one good reason not to kill you."

  Cooper said nothing.

  On his back, fingers spread over a widening red circle at top of his thigh, Adam said, "He's lying."

  Joe nudged Cooper with his foot. "Are you?"

  Cooper's voice sounded like he'd drunk an entire bottle of Bunnahabhain. "Every word I told you is true. Deal with it, Joe."

  Deal with it? Joe looked at the gun in his hand. He lifted it towards his face. Smelled burnt gunpowder. Wondered how it would taste.

  "Don't you fucking dare," Tina said.

  "Don't believe him, Joe," Adam said. "You can get a DNA test."

  Joe knelt down and shoved the gun into Cooper's mouth. Cooper clamped his jaws together. Joe pulled the gun out, then rammed it back in again. He heard something snap. He grabbed the back of Cooper's head and shoved again. After only a few seconds of sustained pressure, Cooper's mouth jerked wide open and he wailed. As the gun slid between his parted lips, he closed his eyes and started to whimper.

  Joe wondered if he should make a speech. He didn't think Cooper deserved it. Pull the trigger. Get it over with. Blow a hole clean through the fucker's head. Pull the trigger. What was he waiting for? His finger tightened.

  From outside, a voice cut through the silence. "Put down your weapons and come out with your hands up." Sounded like that policeman, Grove. How had he got here so quickly? Ah, well. It scarcely mattered any more.

  The foyer door sprang open and Ronald Brewer said, "Drop the gun, Joe. For God's sake, drop it."

  Joe wondered about this. Some people didn't seem to want him to kill Cooper. What difference could it make to them? What did they expect him to do? Let Cooper hang around here on this shithole planet for a while yet? Maybe have another kid with Sally? Maybe she'd sleep with someone else. Maybe Cooper would sleep with his kid. Maybe his kid would turn out to be someone else's.

  Adam said, "Gemma knew who her father was. You ought to know who your daughter was."

  Joe's vision was blurry. Come on. All he had to do was squeeze. Exert a little pressure. Bang.

  "Gemma was your daughter," Tina said. "Whatever the result of a DNA test."

  Joe's cheeks were wet. The gun rattled against Cooper's teeth. His daughter? Was she?

  Cooper's eyes were blinking rapidly. Blood trickled out the side of his mouth. He was shivering like a naked man in the snow.

  "Panic flicker," Joe said. "Think you can be still, Cooper? Stop that shaking? Think you can deal with it?"

  Adam said, "Take the gun out of his mouth, Joe."

  Joe looked at Ronald and the lawyer nodded.

  "One," Joe said. Cooper let out a pitiful moan. "Two," Joe said. A putrid smell hit his nostrils. Cooper's left hand clawed at his trousers. "What's the matter Cooper? You want to say something? No, I think we've heard enough from you already." Cooper screwed his eyes shut. "I promise you, Cooper, it won't hurt at all."

  Joe thought how easy it would be to pull the trigger. It wouldn't be like killing somebody. This grovelling, stinking thing at his feet wasn't fit to be called human. Pulling the trigger would be doing the world a favor. Joe's hand trembled. His finger twitched.

  He eased the gun out of Cooper's mouth. The barrel was covered in spit and blood. Cooper collapsed in a heap, spitting out bits of teeth. Joe said, "Where have you been, Ronald? Adam needs an ambulance."

  FORTY-TWO

  An attractive young woman was sitting by Adam's bedside, holding his hand. Joe guessed she was Dotty. Adam had mentioned her often enough when they were waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

  She was a little bit shy, he'd said. Would Joe tell her he loved her?

  "Tell her yourself," Joe had said.

  Joe turned and headed back down the corridor. He didn't want to embarrass her.

  Adam had pulled through. Lost a lot of blood, but he was going to be okay. Joe had wanted to stop by and say thanks, that was all. He wanted to thank Adam for saving his life. If Adam hadn't taken a bullet there might be no Joe Hope.

  But for the grace of God and a fat bloke from Orkney...

  Outside, he sauntered over to Ronald Brewer's car.

  "How is he?" the lawyer asked.

  "Seems okay."

  After Ronald had stormed into the church last night, a handful of policemen arrived. Two of them Joe already knew. Adjusting his glasses, Grove wandered in as if he was about to attend Sunday service. Monkman was right behind, tugging the sleeves of his jacket.

  Joe said to Ronald, "You knew all along, didn't you?"

  "I spoke to Grove about it. He'd admitted off the record that he didn't think you were guilty."

  "He knew about Monkman's involvement?"

  "All done with Grove's full support." Ronald turned to face Joe. "Monkman isn't even a member of the local police force. No way would he have been able to get hold of a bodywire at such short notice. Grove trusted you'd come up with the goods. They were after a confession and we thought you'd get it."

  "But you didn't know I wasn't going to turn up."

  "I was sitting in Grove's car, listening to the conversation between Tina and Cooper. When the sound went dead, I realized we had a problem. Grove had had the foresight to park in the same street as Cooper, so when Cooper appeared with Tina, we tucked in behind their car and relayed their whereabouts to Monkman. We tailed Cooper to the church. Parked some distance away. Gave them a few minutes to get inside, then followed. We hunkered down outside, beneath the church's broken windows and listened to what was happening inside.

  "Park's arrival caught us by surprise. He must have driven up very quietly and was heading for the church before any of us knew he was there. Monkman saw him coming up the path and we flung ourselves flat on the ground. He didn't see us, but it must have been pretty close. When the gun went off, Grove immediately radioed for the armed response unit. But by the time they arrived, it was all over."

  "A very stupid thing you did, running in like that," Joe said. "You could have been killed."

  "I trusted you."

  "You're a young fool, then."

  "Maybe I just know who to trust."

  "Best not to trust anyone."

  "You're not a killer, Joe."

  Joe said, "That's something I may spend the rest of my life regretting."

  "Cooper's not worth it," Ronald said. "Concentrate on what's important to you."

  "I need to buy some clothes," Joe said, after a moment. A black outfit for tomorrow. He'd finally get to say goodbye to his daughter.

  ***

  About the author

  Allan Guthrie is an award-winning Scottish crime writer and co-founder of digital publisher, Blasted Heath. His debut novel, TWO-WAY SPLIT, was shortlisted for the CWA Debut Dagger award and went on to win the Theakston's Crime Novel Of The Year. He is the author of four other novels: KISS HER GOODBYE (nominated for an Edgar), HARD MAN, SAVAGE NIGHT and SLAMMER and three novellas: KILL CLOCK , KILLING MUM and BYE BYE BABY, a Top Ten Kindle Bestseller. When he's not writing and publishing, he's a literary agent with Jenny Brown Associates.

  Visit Allan's website at:

  http://www.allanguthrie.co.uk

  Visit Criminal-E, Allan's ebook crime fiction blog, at:

  http://criminal-e.blogspot.com