Found: A Mother for His Son

by Dianne Drake

  “Good move,” he said, kicking a little water at her as she dodged him and turned downstream.

  “There’s more where that came from,” she called back over her shoulder, not steady enough to both turn around to see where he was while keeping her footing. She chose steady footing, laughing so hard as she slipped and slid over the smooth river rocks that she wasn’t paying much attention to where she was going.

  “I think I like your moves,” he called back. “They’ve gotten better over the years. More seductive.”

  “You think I’m trying to seduce you?” she called back, then paused for a second to hear his response. That’s when he grabbed her from behind, then, in the blink of an eye, they were locked in a kiss so hard, so swift, it threatened to rob her of breath. There was so much urgency in the way his mouth claimed hers, in the way his tongue explored places no one else had ever explored. No one but Dermott.

  “It’s too cold here for this,” she finally managed to say. “I think we should…” Before the rest of her words were out, she was in his arms and he was carrying her back to their picnic spot then lowering her to the blanket next to the fire he’d built earlier. And this time there were no barriers. No cold water. No slippery rocks. Only the crackling of the warm fire, and a soft blanket to protect them from the rough pine needles and twigs on the ground. Her perfect fantasy, once-upon-a-time.

  He was beautiful, in the orange glow cast off by the firelight. As he stood over her pulling first his jacket over his head, then his shirt, all she could do was stare. It was a body she knew so well, one she’d explored so thoroughly, yet it was new to her again. There was a different hardness in the muscles of his abdomen, his shoulders were broader. And his hips, as his jeans slid down over them, were tighter. “Are you sure?” he asked, as his jeans rode down over the bulge of his erection.

  Of many things, no. Of this…“You remembered my birthday, didn’t you?”

  He grinned. “And if I said yes?”

  “Then I’d say yes.”

  “And if I said no?”

  “I’d still say yes.”

  “Yes,” he whispered. “I remembered.”

  “Yes,” she whispered back. “I’m sure.”

  Three simple words, and Dermott dropped to his knees above her, straddling her. Then he bent to kiss her again, but this time more tenderly. “I remembered so many other things,” he said, his voice hoarse with desire. “Didn’t want to, but I did.”

  “So did I. Like, this.” She entwined her fingers around his neck and pulled him closer to her, and parted his lips with her tongue to enjoy the taste of him. Pure ambrosia. He’d always tasted of pure ambrosia, and nothing had changed. Their kiss turned urgent again, but this time from her urgency more than his.

  “I’m wet,” she finally whispered, to which he responded with a moan.

  “Not like that, Dermott. My clothes are…soaked.”

  He pushed off her for a moment, then grinned. “Is that an invitation?”

  “More like a demand. I’m freezing.”

  It didn’t take him but two seconds to strip away everything she wore, and it didn’t take him but another two seconds to cover her right breast with his hand while his lips sought the nipple on her left. His tongue flicked back and forth as she literally bit down on her lower lip to keep from crying out. Not that anybody out here would have heard her. But she didn’t want to cry out yet, didn’t want to do anything to cause him to stop what he was doing, even if stopping meant he would move on to something even more pleasurable. She wanted time to stand still at this place and time, so she could enjoy Dermott’s every nuance. It had been so long, and she’d had so many fantasies about his lips on her…exploring her, tasting her, giving her so much pleasure…

  Still, she couldn’t help the moan that did pass through her lips. It escaped as he left her breast and began his journey down…down…“Dermott,” she gasped. That was all she had to say. In the next instant, he had nudged in between her legs but…What was he doing? He was moving, but not with her. More like he was struggling against her. “What?” she asked, so aroused even this unusual movement of his naked body on hers felt good.

  He chuckled low and deep. “You’ll see.” And she did. In one swift motion, he rolled her over, twice, and they were literally wrapped in a cocoon inside the blanket—wrapped so tightly together nothing could have come between them.

  It was odd…stimulating…feeling him literally bound to her. Feeling the total press of him to her, inch to inch, breath to breath.

  “You like?” he asked.

  “I like. But how are we going to—?”

  Apparently, Dermott knew the answer to her question, as he plunged deep inside her…not in a big, explosive way, but in such an intimate, close way where they never parted, not even for a fraction of a second. It was like nothing she’d ever felt before and she could have stayed there, just like that, forever. Their lovemaking, constrained by the blankets, wasn’t fast, neither was it urgent. But it was so intense that when they could no longer hold off their release, Jenna was almost sad. Happy, yet sad. And satisfied in a way she hadn’t known possible. Not even with Dermott all those years ago.

  Afterwards, in no hurry to go anywhere or do anything, they stayed cocooned in their blanket, exchanging gentle kisses, relishing the feel of spent passion and warm fire and total connection.

  “You OK?” he finally asked a little while later. “Warm enough?”

  “Fine,” she said, almost purring like a kitten.

  “Is this something we need to talk about, or act on?”

  “You mean like should we have done what we just did?”

  “I meant you still naked under that blanket, me still naked under the blanket…”

  “Is that why you brought me out here, Dermott? To seduce me?”

  “Maybe.”

  “Well, all I can say is that I’ve always thought in terms of the perfect seduction as something with silk sheets and champagne. But fleecy cotton and river water certainly have an appeal.” This was nice—innocent flirting leading to something much nicer again. And it was leading them right back. They were side-by-side now, still in their blanket, although the cocoon was rather loose, and she tucked her head into his chest and nuzzled closer. “It doesn’t always have to be so complicated, does it? I mean, why not enjoy the moment without overthinking it?”

  Dermott laughed. “You, not overthink? When has that ever happened?”

  “A little while ago, when the blanket was tight and there was nothing but us…” She sighed, then snuggled a little more. “I’ll bet you never had anything like this in mind when you came up here as a little boy.”

  He ducked his head and whispered in her ear. “Want to see what the big boy has on his mind…again?”

  “Definitely,” she whispered back. “And quickly, before I start to overthink.”

  “You didn’t happen to bring marshmallows to roast over the fire, did you?”

  They’d stayed wrapped in that blanket another hour, talking, making love, talking some more. It was only when the chill of the night overtook them that they had to resign themselves to clothes made warm by the fire and jackets and a spot for the blanket much closer to the fire so they could stay warm.

  “What’s a bonfire without marshmallows?” And seduction. Damn, what had he been thinking? What they’d done…he didn’t take it lightly. Right now he wanted, no, he needed their working relationship to succeed. What he wanted was something entirely different, something that came with more blankets and marshmallows and moments by the fire. But he couldn’t have it, couldn’t give it either. Even if he could, Jenna deserved more than what he had here for her. She was like a sparrow on the end of the branch, always on the verge of taking flight. He knew that. Knew that when he’d first met her, knew that over the years when he’d asked various colleagues what they’d heard about Jenna Lawson and they’d told him she’d moved on again.

  And here he was, trying to hold onto something th
at didn’t want to be caught. Not that he wanted to catch it so much as he simply wanted that connection between them again. It had been nice then, and so much nicer now. Yet jumping into any kind of a relationship with anyone, especially Jenna, was just plain irresponsible at this point in his life. He knew that as well as he knew he was holding onto a bag of marshmallows, overthinking. Overthinking, damn it! Overthinking, just like Jenna did.

  Still, his heart was telling him that Jenna wasn’t a mistake when in every possible way Jenna herself was telling him she was. So would the bigger fool ignore his heart, or would he ignore the clear warnings from the woman he’d lost his heart to all those years ago and, it seemed, never gotten over? “Yep, I’ve got the marshmallows, and you get to go find the sticks,” he said, tossing them at her.

  “You think of everything,” Jenna said, running off to a nearby thicket to look for a couple of sticks for the toasting.

  “That’s the problem,” he muttered to himself, as he plunked down by the fire. “I think I probably do.”

  “I, um…I came by to thank the doc for his house call the other night. And you too. I know I should have done this sooner but we’ve been driving back and forth to Edmonton so much, and with Alisa being upset the way she has been…”

  Ron Charney looked uncomfortable standing in the doorway, unsure whether to come all the way in or speak his piece and leave. For a moment, Jenna wondered if his wife had come with him, but when she thought further about it, she knew better.

  “We’ve been calling to check on Joshua, and the reports are excellent. He’s doing better than expected.” Stiff conversation, but what else was there? “Would you like to speak with Dermott?”

  The man shook his head. “I’ve got to get going. Alisa and I are going back down to the hospital today, and it’s a long drive. But I wanted to do the right thing here. And I’m sorry for…” He swallowed hard. “For everything. The doc deserved better.”

  He did, but it wouldn’t do any good to make Ron feel any worse about the situation than he already did. The man looked totally torn up by this. Probably a combination of his wife’s reactions and what might have happened to his son if she’d gotten her way, and his worry over his son. That, coupled with exhaustion from the long drives back and forth caused Jenna to worry about him. He was pale. Looked stressed. “Are you feeling well, Mr. Charney? Would you like Dr. Callahan to have a look at you?”

  “I’m a little tired. But it’ll get better when we get Joshua home in a few days. Maybe when things settle down I’ll stop by for a physical…if you think he’ll see me.”

  “Of course he’ll see you! He does understand your wife’s feelings, and he won’t hold that against you if you need him.”

  “Feelings that could have killed my son.” He shook his head. “Sorry, that’s not your problem.”

  But it was a big one the Charneys would have to face sooner or later, and she felt sorry for them. “Well, to make things easier for your wife, when you get Joshua home, we’ve made arrangements to have one of the doctors over in Muledeer take over his care. It’s still a long drive, but not nearly as long as going to Edmonton, and under the circumstances we thought it would be in Joshua’s best interests to make that change. But in the mean time, if you need anything, we’re available here, for any of you. And that includes Joshua’s care when he’s home, if Alisa changes her mind.”

  “I appreciate that, ma’am, but I don’t think…” Pausing, he shook his head. “With things being the way they are, I don’t think Alisa will let the doc near Joshua again, but I do appreciate what you’ve done. And like I said, I don’t have those same feelings so I’ll be calling for an appointment soon.”

  “You do that. Or just stop by whenever you want to. And get some rest, Mr. Charney. You need to take care of yourself.”

  “One more thing. Joshua would like to see Max. Maybe when my boy’s home and settled in, Frank or Irene can bring Max by. If the doc is agreeable.”

  “I’ll mention it to him.”

  Ron nodded, and smiled. But the smile was forced and painful. “I love my wife, Miss Lawson. She’s a good woman and she loves our boy more than you can imagine. But she blames herself, for not seeing…It is what it is with her, and I don’t think it’s going to change for a long time, if ever.”

  “I’m sorry for her pain,” Jenna replied, then turned and walked back to the exam rooms after Ron had left.

  “I’m sorry,” Dermott said. He was sitting at his desk, making notes in a patient chart, when she walked by the door.

  “You heard?”

  “I heard.”

  “She’s wrong, but how can you fight someone who’s experiencing so much pain?”

  “You can’t, which is why Dr. Anderson will look after Joshua. Alisa is entitled to her opinions and forcing the issue in any way just hurts more people…people who don’t need the pain,” he said.

  “Will you let Max go and see Joshua?”

  He shrugged, but didn’t answer, and Jenna didn’t know if that near-refusal, which was what it was, had more to do with Dermott’s need to keep Max close, or his fear that Alisa would say something. The thing was, if Alisa had loved Nancy like a sister, she wouldn’t hurt Nancy’s son. And Dermott did have over-protection issues going on. But decisions regarding Max were none of her business even if, in her opinion, allowing the boys some time together would be good for both of them.

  “Well, if you decide to do it, I can make the arrangements, if you want.”

  “Aren’t you going to say something, Jenna? Offer your opinion, tell me what I’m doing wrong? Isn’t this where you’re suppose to tell me that I’m doing what’s best for me and not what’s best for Max?”

  Well, the wonderful feelings from last night were definitely over, weren’t they? They’d lingered by the fire until it had died out, talking, laughing, reminiscing, then returned home, finished that bottle of wine together, and parted company in a nice mellow glow in the wee hours. A lovely evening. She’d enjoyed it more than she’d enjoyed anything since she couldn’t remember when. But here they were, back to normal again. It was like the instant they returned to the clinic, the weight of all the problems came crashing back. She felt it, and it showed on Dermott too. “I wasn’t going to say anything,” she said dispiritedly. “Not a word because it’s none of my business. But if you want my opinion—”

  “I already know your opinion,” he snapped, then his tone changed immediately. “And I respect it, JJ. But I don’t know if letting him go is the right thing to do.”

  “You’ll figure it out, Dermott. And you’ll do what’s right.”

  “Sometimes it would be nice not doing what’s right, but what I really want to do.”

  “You mean like you and Max running off to somewhere like Costa Rica and never looking back?”

  “I’m that transparent?”

  “Not really, but that’s the way I would think, and I just took a wild guess.” She laughed. “I hope I’m not rubbing off on you.”

  “I hope you are, JJ.”

  Before she could react, or respond to that, the bell over the door jingled the entrance of another patient, and so it went for the rest of the day. Several patients came in, nothing serious. And another few called to schedule appointments. Then the day ended, and this time there was no invitation to a picnic in the woods, for which she was totally grateful if not a little disappointed. But after they’d closed the clinic she did agree to ride along with Dermott when he went to bring Max home, promising herself that she’d stay in the truck.

  Irene invited her in, however, and actually had a plate set at the dinner table for her. Which made her feel ill at ease. This was the house in which Dermott’s wife had grown up, and here she was being welcomed into it, almost like she was part of the family. It didn’t feel right. “You told me we’d just run out and go back,” she whispered to Dermott as Irene carried huge platters of potatoes and corn to the table. “I don’t want to have dinner here, Dermott. A peanut butter s
andwich at the table outside is one thing, but this is a family situation and I don’t feel good about it.”

  “I didn’t know they were going to do this, or I wouldn’t have suggested you ride out with me. I know it’s uncomfortable for you. Hell, it’s not always comfortable for me either.”

  That surprised her. “Could you make my excuses, and thank them for the invitation?”

  “And you’ll do what?”

  “Walk back. It’s not that far. Just a couple of kilometers, and it’s a nice evening. I can stop in the diner along the way and have a salad.” And try to reconcile herself to the fact that this was the way it was going to be. The only way it could be.

  “They have great burgers,” he said, the hint of a smile creeping to his lips.

  “Then I’ll have a burger.”

  “And french fries. Oh, and you’ve got to have a chocolate milkshake.”

  “If I wanted a milkshake, it would be vanilla. Or strawberry.”

  He shook his head. “Has to be chocolate. That’s the only thing that goes with a burger and fries, unless you’d prefer a root beer.”

  “Actually, I love root beer.”

  “Then it’s a date.” He looked over at the table, at Max settling into his usual spot there, and sighed heavily. “Look, folks, I appreciate the offer of dinner, but I told you earlier not to fix anything for us, that Max and I had other plans.”

  Irene looked up, a frown crossing her face. “But you always say that, dear. Then you sit down and have dinner with us anyway.”

  “Because I have a pathetically boring life,” he said under his breath.

  Jenna laughed, then whispered, “Let’s see how you’re going to get yourself out of this one. She’s fixed enough food for an army and there’s no gracious way for you to walk away from it.” Even though that’s what she still intended on doing.

  “And I need an army right now.” He sucked in a deep breath and headed back to the table, but Jenna followed him only to the dining room doorway, then stopped.