Love Restored

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  Graham frowned. “I don’t now if she’s my woman anymore, Owen.”

  His brother reached out and squeezed his shoulder. “Maybe she should be. And by the way, that Rowan? She’s a kick in the pants. Don’t…just don’t push her away because you’re thinking about Cynthia. Okay?”

  Graham closed his eyes tightly, let out a breath. “I’m not going to treat the kid like shit.” But he’d already treated Blake like shit because of it. He wasn’t the ogre he threatened to be when things went to hell, but he was damn close.

  “Just…be, okay?” Owen’s voice was so serious that Graham opened his eyes, startled. “We don’t get to just be often. Jake missed out on Maya and Border for freaking years because he kept missing chances. Murphy is only now starting to live like he has time left, rather than waiting for the shoe to drop. As for you… Hell, Graham, it was good to see you reacting over a woman, even if you did it in that growly asshole way of yours. I know that Blake having a kid was a shock, but you can roll with it if you need to. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

  Graham looked at his younger brother, a new sense of respect settling over his skin. “What about you, Owen? Why aren’t you being?”

  His brother met his gaze, his eyes going through a thousand different emotions before settling on bleak. “Just worry about yourself now, okay? That’s all I ask.”

  Owen’s phone rang, saving him from any more questions Graham might have thought to ask, and he turned away. Knowing his brothers all had their own secrets, he let Owen be for now. But soon, he’d figure it out because he’d be damned if he let his brothers live only half a life because of missed opportunities and pain. Of course, that was just the pot calling the kettle black at this point.

  With a sigh, he took out his phone and dialed Blake, hoping he wasn’t making yet another mistake by getting too close.

  “Hey, everything okay?” she asked when she picked up.

  The sound of her voice settled him even as it revved him up, and he knew he’d made the right decision even if it scared him. “We had a slight accident at the site.” At her gasp, he quickly continued. “Gary, one of our subcontractors, is hurt, but he’ll be okay. Everyone else is fine, but we’re taking the rest of the day off to deal with the aftermath.” He paused, not sure how to continue, then feeling silly about it. “Have you and Rowan eaten yet? Want to grab something?”

  She was silent for so long, he was afraid he’d been cut off or had said something wrong. “We were just thinking about what to get for lunch. Do you want to meet at the burger place near my apartment? Rowan’s been talking about you all day.” She whispered the last part, and he knew it was because she was scared to mention her daughter to him. The fact that she felt that way killed him because it was his fault in the first place. He would have to change that, make sure Rowan never felt unwanted by any single person in her life. And as for his feelings for Blake? He’d have to figure those out as well because he didn’t like the hesitation and pain in her voice either.

  When Graham pulled up to the burger place after he’d washed up a bit in the trailer at the site, Blake and Rowan were already there, though still in the car. He let out another breath and turned off the engine.

  “Now or never,” he mumbled to himself and got out of the car. Since he’d parked only a couple of cars down from Blake when he closed the door, her head shot up, and she met his gaze. The look of relief and…need on her face overwhelmed him. Had it only been a week or so since he’d last had her in his arms, in his bed? It seemed like yesterday, and yet years ago all at the same time.

  Rowan got out of the car first, Blake right behind, and Graham braced himself. The little girl looked nothing like Cynthia and yet reminded him so much of her it hurt. While Cynthia had had black, straight hair and wide, blue eyes, Rowan had brown curls going out in all directions and brown eyes that seemed to see everything. Her eyes, mouth, and nose were all Blake, though, that much he could see.

  “Hi, Mr. Graham,” Rowan said as she skipped toward him. “Mom said you were hungry for burgers like us. I’m glad because I didn’t really want the peanut butter and banana sandwich I would have had at home. Today, we had only a half-day at school so I didn’t get to learn as much as I wanted, but since I missed part of school yesterday, I still had to take my spelling test today when the others had a free day. That’s okay because I passed it with flying colors. Mom says I’m really smart, and I think so, too, but that’s because she’s smarter and teaches me everything. I’m better at math than I am at spelling, but I don’t think Mom likes math. She always gets a little line between her eyebrows when we do math.” Rowan put her finger over the spot on her own face and smiled. “See? Right here. But don’t worry, I’ll make sure I help Mom like math like I do. Math is fun.”

  He blinked, trying to soak in everything that had come out of Rowan’s mouth in that short period of time. So short, in fact, he didn’t think she’d taken a single breath. For a split second, he thought of what Cynthia would have been like after a day of school. Would she have talked a mile a minute like Rowan? Or hold it all in like he did? Or perhaps, something in between?

  He pushed those thoughts from his mind, knowing it wouldn’t do any good to wonder about what would never happen and that he should, instead, focus on the little girl in front of him.

  “That sounds like a lot of good days all rolled into one. I like math, though not as much as my brothers, Owen and Murphy. Our other brother Jake hates math, though I think he liked English more than we did.” Graham didn’t quite remember as it had been a while ago, and they’d all settled into their lives beyond taking classes years ago, but he still liked thinking about how things had changed.

  “Really? You have another brother?” She batted her eyes. “Is he as pretty as you and Owen and Murphy?”

  Damned if he didn’t blush right then.

  Blake threw her head back and laughed. “She just likes your beards. And, yeah, Rowan, Jake is pretty, too.”

  Graham narrowed her eyes. “Jake is taken. As are you.”

  She raised a brow. “Am I?”

  Now or never, Gallagher. “Yeah, you are.”

  “It’s not just his beard, Mom,” Rowan said with an eye roll. “Mr. Graham has pretty eyes, too. I want a burger. Can we get lunch now?”

  Graham smiled at Blake despite the fact that his mind and heart were still going a thousand different directions, and he didn’t think twice when he held out his hand for Rowan. “Let’s start our date, shall we?”

  Rowan smiled up at him, her eyes bright and happy as she slid her small hand into his. “Yes!”

  Blake took Rowan’s other hand, met Graham’s gaze, and nodded, her eyes bright, as well.

  He hoped to hell he hadn’t made another mistake that would end with him curled in a ball on the floor, but for now, he’d take one step at a time. And if that step included taking a little girl and her mother to lunch so they could have one moment of peace before the storm hit, then he’d do it.

  And when the pieces fell around him, he’d pick them up.

  It was what he was good at, after all.

  Restoring what was once lost, what could never be perfectly whole again.

  13

  “I can’t believe I let you talk me into this,” Blake said as she adjusted her skirt once again. Why had she worn such a short one, knowing she would be sitting in a car next to Graham for half an hour before their date? It kept riding up her thighs as she moved in her seat, and Graham would take one look at her and groan. This was not the best outfit to keep things calm and peaceful between them.

  “It’s been four weeks since you got the papers, baby.” Graham kissed her palm, and she about melted right there on the spot. He was forever doing things like that, though she still wasn’t sure where they stood. “They haven’t filed anything else, and you have a lawyer who is going to fight for you. You need to take a breath, and I will be damned if I let you wear yourself down because of all of this.”


  In those four weeks, Graham had been her rock. He’d gotten to know her more, the real her, gotten to know her daughter. He’d helped her find a lawyer and even offered to help financially. That was one thing she wouldn’t allow. She’d saved up for something like this, and hopefully, wouldn’t have to use everything she’d put away.

  It had been four weeks of work, school, stress, worry, fear, and the constant source of peace and angst that was Graham.

  And in those four weeks, she hadn’t had sex with the man.

  Her vagina was on strike, apparently, and she was afraid it would never forgive her for keeping away from Graham as long as she had, even though he’d been so damn close. And from the way Graham always looked so…pent up…she had a feeling his dick wasn’t happy either.

  Graham tangled his fingers with hers as he continued the drive, and she tried not to let her mind wander. So, of course, she did the exact opposite.

  He’d apologized for the things he’d said to her when he’d first found out about Rowan. And he’d kept apologizing until she’d asked him to stop. Though she’d been angry with him about it at first, she also couldn’t blame him for being upset that she’d hidden things from him.

  Because, well, she had.

  Every since Chris’s family had filed for custody, Graham had turned into the man he was before he’d learned the truth about her daughter. He was still gruff and grumpy a lot of the time, but she liked that part of him. He wasn’t perfect, and she was happy for that since she sure as hell wasn’t perfect either.

  When they pulled into the parking lot of the pub, Graham squeezed her hand before letting go to turn off the engine.

  “You ready for nachos?” he said with a smile.

  She turned to him and held back a sigh. If she weren’t careful, she’d fall in love with this man. Only, she was afraid she already had.

  She’d told herself she could be strong on her own, that she could do as she always had. Yet she’d broken a bit when she’d been away from Graham, and when he’d rushed to her side when she needed him most, she’d fallen even more.

  She couldn’t love him. What if he thought being with her would be too hard because of Rowan? When the crisis abated, and things were settled, would he still want to be with her?

  She’d already broken a bit for him, and now, she was afraid she’d do it again.

  It should have worried her more than it did, and yet, she knew she’d fallen.

  She was in love with Graham Gallagher and had no idea what to do about that.

  He cupped her face and stared into her eyes. “You’re thinking too hard right now, Blake. Tonight is supposed to be about us, about you. Let go of your worries, if only for a moment. Maya, Jake, and Border have Rowan tonight. They’re practicing the whole parent thing until the baby comes, and that means it’s just you and me. I know you’re never going to not worry, but at least worry a little less tonight.”

  He leaned down after his words and brushed a soft kiss to her mouth. She sighed into him, deepening the kiss before she’d even realized she was doing it. He let out a soft growl before pulling back and resting his forehead on hers.

  “Let’s get inside and eat a bit and maybe play a game of pool or two,” he said gruffly. “I want you so fucking bad, Blake, and keeping my hands off of you for the past month has killed me.”

  She pulled back, her eyes wide. “Then why did you do it? Or rather, why haven’t you done me?”

  He chuckled and shook his head. “You have such a way with words.”

  She smacked his arm. “Hey, I’m serious. Why haven’t you made a move on me in the past month? I mean, we’ve been kind of together this whole time, but not really, you know? I don’t know where we stand, and that’s kind of freaking me out since I want to know that more than anything.” She shook her head. “No, not more than anything, but it’s well up on my top ten list of wants at the moment. So, yeah, where are we, Graham? Are we friends that make out but not have sex? Are we together? Or what? Because you ran to my side when I needed you, and I will always be grateful for that, but then we took two steps back to before everything happened, and I’m so freaking confused.”

  Blake squeezed her eyes shut. “And now I sound like some crazy woman asking where our relationship is going, but hell, I don’t know where we’re at, let alone what happens after this. I spent so freaking long trying to figure out what to wear tonight because I didn’t know if this was between friends or something more. Then you kept touching me and growling at me, and I figured the skirt was a good idea, but then you said that we needed to go inside or something like that… I’m so freaking confused.”

  She opened her eyes to see Graham staring at her. He ran a hand over his beard and nodded. “You sound confused as hell, and Blake? I’m confused, too. We didn’t really talk about us after our fight, just kept going anyway. So, yeah, I’m a little lost, too. But not so lost as to think that I don’t want you.”

  “You’re not making any sense.”

  He cupped her face. “I want you, Blake. In my life and in my bed.”

  “But I have a daughter,” she whispered, ignoring the way his words brought warmth to her chest that she’d been missing.

  “Yeah, and I like your kid. She’s a hoot, and makes you smile, so yeah, I like her. I don’t know what’s going to happen in the future, or how I’m going to react when things get more serious, but I’m here now. Is that enough?”

  She pressed her lips together. That wasn’t enough, but she wasn’t sure what to say about that. “I guess it’ll have to be.”

  He closed his eyes. “Blake…I care about you, and I want to be with you. Let’s just take it one step at a time.”

  He cared about her. Well, wasn’t that just grand. She hated that she was upset at the idea that he merely cared for her while she was falling in love with him. While she’d fallen in love with him. And that was why she protected her heart, and in the end, would protect Rowan.

  Graham had never stayed the night at her house, and she hadn’t stayed at his. They’d held hands in front of Rowan, and had kissed each other’s temples and cheeks, but they hadn’t proclaimed themselves. Rowan was curious, of course, but it wasn’t like she understood what was going on. Blake barely knew what was going on. So she’d be selfish and let Graham in just a little and let him care for her.

  And when he left—because he would—when it got to be too much, she’d keep her daughter safe from a broken heart. Rowan might love talking to Graham and his brothers, but Blake would do all she could to ensure that Rowan didn’t become attached.

  Blake had already lost that bet for herself, but in the end, the only thing that mattered was her daughter.

  Aware that Graham was still looking at her, she pasted on a smile and leaned into him, pressing a kiss to his lips. “I want nachos. How does that sound to you?”

  Graham smiled at her, but it didn’t reach his eyes. She couldn’t blame herself for that, though, she had to protect what was left of her heart and keep her daughter from the dangers of what lurked after her…and the hazards that came with Blake falling in love.

  They ate nachos, drank a beer each, and finished off with soda and pool. She was on a sugar high and hadn’t eaten that much grease since the last time they’d come to the pub, but she felt a bit lighter nonetheless. She’d enjoy herself because she hadn’t been able to do anything like that in so long.

  She’d continue working at Montgomery Ink. Graham would finish working on the estate before working on the next big project. She’d keep her daughter safe as she always had, and she’d use her new lawyer to make sure Chris’s parents didn’t have a chance to take Rowan from her.

  Only, things never worked out as they should, and Blake was afraid if she didn’t keep trying, didn’t keep running, everything would fall apart around her once again.

  Graham took her hand and squeezed as they made their way from the car to his house. “You’re thinking too hard again.”

  She let out a shaky br
eath. “I’m scared.”

  He let them inside before closing the door behind them and cupping her face. “What are you scared about?”

  Him. The world. Her daughter.

  Everything.

  “What if they take Rowan away from me?” She blinked back tears, annoyed that yet again she’d let her emotions get away from her. “I don’t know what I’d do without her, but more importantly, Rowan doesn’t want to live with them. They’ve never even met her. They didn’t even try until they figured they could take her away from me to punish me. They don’t love her, they don’t even know her. They just blame me for their son’s death, and want to punish me. And this is the only way they can think to do it.”

  Graham wiped away her tears and kissed her lips, one soft brush, then another. “Breathe, baby.”

  She did, though it didn’t help.

  “They have no leg to stand on. You’re a good mom. Your kid is doing phenomenal in school. You have a roof over your head, a job with benefits, and one that will allow you to take time off to care for your kid. You have a support system here, even if we’re new. We’re not going to let these people take Rowan. The courts will see that. Will see that you’re so fucking strong, and a fucking amazing mom. Now, kiss me, babe. Kiss me and let me kiss you. Just be for a bit. Just be with me tonight. Can you do that? Can you let me take care of you? Because seeing you like this kills me, and the only thing I can think of tonight is making sure you know, making sure you feel that you’re cared for, that you’re with me.”

  She melted into his arms. “I think…I think that sounds wonderful.”

  “Do you want it slow?” he asked, his hand trailing down her back to cup her ass. “Or fast? Maybe a little of both?”

  Her head tilted back, and she sighed. “Yes, please.”

  He smiled before he took her mouth. When she moaned into him, he gripped her ass with both hands and lifted her up into his arms as she wrapped her legs around his waist. His hands massaged her as they kissed, their tongues colliding, their breaths coming in pants.