Sanctuary Among Strangers

by Josie Finch

  But just as the fear and anxiety peaked, it melted away. Joseph knew he would have never known all those answers for certain until he died anyway. The matter right in front of him—Warren and the baby—felt much more important than even the matters of Heaven. The questions disappeared and he focused on the warm fire and the easy feeling of Warren sitting next to him.

  The tin cup was now empty so Joseph filled it with what was left in the pot next to the fire. With the fresh cup in hand, Joseph changed the course of the conversation.

  “Will you tell me about your sisters?”

  Warren’s face instantly lit up with a smile. “They’re amazing. We grew up in White Spring and they’re still my best friends. Clara is my older sister and Lettie is the youngest of the three of us. They are both very talented. Shortly after our parents died, my sisters left to fight in the war.”

  Joseph let the steam from the tea warm his face. “Why did they wait? Did your parents not want them to go?”

  Warren shook his head. “They were just too young. My mother died when I was nineteen and my father a year later. Of heartbreak, I honestly believe. We were just grown by then and able to make our own decisions. My parents would have been proud of my sisters.”

  Joseph handed the hot drink once again to Warren. “I think they would be proud of you, too. For helping your sister have the baby.”

  “I know. My parents also wanted to plant the seeds for the future here on earth. They believed it was important. Some angels believe humans are the missing piece. That there will be a unity between Fallen angels and humans so strong that the final battle for Heaven will be won only when we rise together.”

  Joseph felt his heartbeat hitch into faster pace. “Is that what you believe?”

  “Yes,” Warren answered. “But I also believe it will take a very long time. Many generations. I don’t believe our grandchildren or our great-grandchildren will live to see it. Maybe sometime after that. The thought alone makes some feel like there’s no point in even trying. But I truly believe we are planting the seeds for a better future—for both angels and humans.”

  Joseph nodded, then asked, “Do you still see your sisters?”

  “Yeah, they pop in every once in a while,” Warren answered. “To check in or give me an update. Or just to rest knowing it is safe from the Righteous here.”

  Joseph wanted Warren to be safe. The idea he could leave not just the state or the county but the entire world for another made that new possessive instinct coil tight in Joseph’s belly.

  Joseph took a calming breath then dared to ask, “Have you ever thought about leaving earth?”

  “Thought about it, yes. But I never will. I wouldn't be of any use anywhere but here.”

  Joseph tried to keep the sound of relief out of his voice and asked casually, “Why do you say that?”

  Warren shook his head. “Most angels have certain talents or abilities. Clara can bring souls back from the dead, if she gets there in time. You can understand why that would be an important skill to have in a war.”

  Joseph nodded in agreement and took the tin cup as Warren offered it.

  “Actually, she figured out she could do that because she brought me back when I was twelve and she was fourteen. I was very sick and she followed my soul when it started to leave.” Warren gave a small smile. “It’s not the only trouble she’s gotten me out of, but it was the most important.”

  Joseph’s mind flashed to the Durnham family who lost their eldest brother just a couple days ago. He knew any one of them would have done anything possible to have followed his soul when it had begun to leave his body.

  Warren stretched his legs out and shifted his tone. “Lettie on the other hand, is the one I’m always having to get out of trouble. She can fit in places that most angels can’t. See, in order to get from one world to another, you have to transform your body and soul. Lettie can do this very well, and very fast. That means she can get to places that most other angels can’t and she can get from one place to another without anyone knowing. They call that being a Traveler. She gets sent on missions behind enemy lines quite often, because she can get in and get out. But what makes her so powerful is that she can also take other souls with her. Most angels can only transform themselves to get from place to place, but Lettie can do it for others.”

  Joseph tapped his fingertips against the now empty tin cup. “And I probably don’t even need to ask if that has something to do with how you ended up with the baby.”

  “Yeah. There are parts of the Universe that are very bad for Fallen angels. The only way to save the Fallen from those places are to sneak in and smuggle the souls out. But then the souls have to be reborn here on earth. That’s what my sister Lettie had done—smuggled a soul inside her. But before she could separate her soul from the one she smuggled, the Righteous had found out and were coming after her. She managed to transfer the baby to me and send us back to earth—the only place that’s safe.”

  “Is she… Lettie… all right now?”

  “I don’t know,” Warren answered. “Right before she sent me back she said she was going to go to a place where she could fight the Righteous that were after her. She said she needed to eliminate them, not just run away, so…” Warren let out a long breath. “It might take some time, but she’ll find me when she can. She knows where she sent me.” Warren rubbed his eyes. There was worry in his voice as he added, “I’m hoping she’ll find us before we make it to Cunard, if I’m honest.”

  The warmth from the tea and the fire couldn’t combat the cold that crept in at the thought of not finding help in Cunard. There was nothing Joseph would be able to do to help deliver the baby and that made him feel helpless.

  “If we can’t find help at the church,” Joseph said slowly, “can you… transform yourself and bring the baby back?”

  Warren shook his head. “Even if I knew exactly how to do that, I wouldn’t be able to. I’m not a very powerful angel at all.” Warren’s tone shifted. “But we don’t need to worry. We’ll find help. Angels always help.”

  Joseph trusted Warren and knew there was no use in worrying. He changed the subject.

  “So…” Joseph sat the empty tin cup down on the ground. “What can you do? What is your special angelic power?”

  Warren’s shoulders slumped. “It's not very exciting.”

  Joseph just waited patiently. He sensed Warren was stalling so he just let him to take his time.

  Warren sighed. “All right. I can't really explain it, but… I absorb other people’s fear… and sometimes sadness or anger. I don't know I'm doing it and I can't turn it off.” He shook his head. “That's why everyone back in White Spring acted so bold around me. No one was afraid of me because I took all their fear.” Warren shrugged. “Or maybe I just am that pitiful and no one was afraid of me to begin with. I don’t know.”

  “No,” Joseph said, shaking his head, thinking back to that night. “I remember in the jail... I felt so brave, I was doing things I never had the confidence to do before. When you left me alone it was like all the fear came crashing down on me at once.” Joseph let out a long breath. “I couldn’t have done it without your help.”

  “No,” Warren said, assertive. “You could have. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

  Joseph remained silent. Without the cup in his hands to fidget with he felt awkward. But Warren sounded steady and content.

  “I think I’ve answered enough questions for one night. It’s your turn now.”

  Joseph opened his empty hands. “I’m mostly boring, but, ask away.”

  “Where are you from?” Warren asked eagerly.

  “I grew up in Ohio. I had a sibling, but she... Well… I'm the only one left now. My parents still live there.”

  Warren nodded. “Do you miss it?”

  “No. My father is a preacher there. I still write my parents, sometimes, but I haven't seen them in... Oh, more than ten years, now.”

  “You don’t get alon
g with your parents?”

  Joseph swallowed. He’d never talked about his past with anyone. “I… I respect them as my mother and father, but… I don’t like the people they are.”

  “Why’s that?” Warren asked gently.

  Joseph stilled his trembling hands by holding them together. “They cling to their faith out of fear from the darkness rather than love for the light. My father especially is very angry and hateful. He can always find the right passages in the Bible to justify his prejudices. By the time I was seventeen I hated him, I hated church. I hated God. So I left.” Joseph sighed and looked up into the night sky. “I lived in Iowa for a several years then headed west, did my first circuit in Nebraska then headed south. I've been running this circuit here in Kansas for about two years now. But I was running out of energy... and faith again. Until you arrived.” Joseph put a playful lilt into his voice, “But then you had to go and tell me it’s all a lie.”

  “Oh, I’m sure it’s not all a lie,” Warren said. “Humans wrote the Bible, but I’m pretty sure you knew that already. Most of the stuff you think is sinful isn’t. Jesus was a good guy. Other than that, with the war on over Heaven, you’re guess is good as mine. I don’t even know if there’s going to be an afterlife, for me, for you, for any one. At best, I can only offer you a hope for one.”

  “So you’re telling me we all, including angels, need to keep the faith,” Joseph said.

  “Mm. Maybe keep the faith in each other,” Warren said. “Be the most we can be with those who are here now to share it with us.”

  Silence settled between them and they listened to the fire pop, sitting together in the comfortable warmth.

  After everything they had been talking about, Joseph wasn’t guarded anymore. He let himself speak freely. “I’m sorry that you want to be with your parents and they had to go while I left my parents and they’ll probably live to be as old as Leta Anderson.”

  Warren shook his head. “Don’t be sorry for that. None of us can choose those things in life. What I can choose to do is create my own family. With Clara and Lettie. And now…” Warren let out a deep breath. “And now I’m a father.”

  Joseph nodded. “What are you going to do when she gets here? Where are you going to live?”

  “I don't know,” Warren answered, honesty in his tone. “Knowing the landlord, my studio in California has probably already been ransacked and rented out again. Really, though, I had no roots there, no friends. The west isn't a grand place to raise a family, and the trek out there with a newborn is completely out of the question. I might be able to take a train, but not very far.” Warren looked up again into the starry night above. “I hope to find a place to settle in until summer. I can start working in a trade until I have enough money to buy new photography equipment. I'll take any help I can get at the hub, but I know I'll have to make the best of things on my own.”

  Joseph frowned. “The hub?”

  “The church at Cunard,” Warren clarified. “We call churches like that where angels come and go a hub.”

  Joseph’s forehead wrinkled in thought. “I know the church you’re talking about, but it’s abandoned. The roof's caved in.”

  “That’s only an illusion,” Warren assured. “The holiest places often look derelict to human eyes.”

  “Will I be able to see it when we get there, even if I’m only human?” Joseph asked.

  “Yes,” Warren answered. “And you’re not only human, Joseph. You’re very special.”

  “Uh-huh,” Joseph picked up a stick to poke the fire, but it broke before it could be of any use. “You said all humans are special to Fallen angels.”

  Warren’s voice remained steady. “They are. But you’re something more… to me.”

  Joseph’s heartbeat quickened again. He tossed the broken stick into the flames and tried to sound casual “I do what I can.”

  “I mean it,” Warren said, with an edge of assertiveness this time. “I’ve come to care for you very much.” He turned toward Joseph as well as he could in his condition perched on the wobbly tree stump. “And I can tell that you harbor a lot of fear. Let me help.”

  Joseph didn’t turn away but he didn’t turn in either. “I have a kind of fear you can't take away.”

  “I don't think that’s true,” Warren said. “I know fear. Yours is a very specific kind of fear. I don’t pick up on it terribly often, but more than you’d think.”

  Pain shot through the palms of Joseph’s hands and he realized he was clenching his fists so tight his fingernails were digging into his skin. At that moment, the fear Joseph was feeling had to do with the fact that he was falling in love with Warren. And the fact that he had been attracted to Warren since he was first close to him back in the jail cell at White Spring. That fear was rooted in an even stronger fear that Joseph would have to reveal his secret: Warren was not the first man Joseph had been attracted to.

  But Joseph didn’t want to let go of his fear. His fear kept his secret safe. Without the strangling fear keeping him in line, Joseph was bound to do or say something incredibly stupid. With his guard down around Warren, Joseph had already let himself say things he would have never said around anyone else. It didn’t matter if Warren was an angel. Joseph had to keep his to himself.

  Or what? Well, Joseph had never even let himself entertain the idea of ever telling another a person. But of all the people in the Universe to see what might happen if… No. Just no.

  “Joseph. Breathe.”

  Joseph didn’t realize he was holding his breath until Warren’s gentle prompt. He forced himself to breathe in and let it out slowly.

  “That’s better. Now, let me help you.”

  “You can't.”

  “I can… and more importantly, I want to.”

  Hearing Warren say those words to him, so close in the warmth of the firelight, was too much to fight. Joseph let go just enough to ask, “How?”

  “Let me kiss you.”

  All the fight and disbelief and fear fell away with those four words. His human side quieted and Joseph let his faith guide him. In that moment it felt like it was just him and Warren and their little campfire in the whole entire Universe.

  “But you’ll have to come closer,” Warren said, then gave a soft laugh. “I’m not as flexible in this condition.”

  Joseph slowly pushed himself up. His knees trembled beneath him but his voice remained steady. “You don’t have to do this just to make me feel better,” Joseph said. “I only want it if you mean it.”

  Warren’s features were serene and blissful in the firelight. The ghost of a smile tugged at his lips. Without a word Warren cupped Joseph’s face with a gentle hand and pulled him in.

  Their lips were cold when they first touched but a flourish of heat broke through and tingled. Joseph let his eyes naturally fall closed and their kiss deepened. Joseph breathed in as their embrace blossomed and their lips parted with a perfect rush.

  Joseph opened his eyes, finding his gaze level with Warren’s.

  “I mean it,” Warren whispered.

  “I… can tell,” Joseph said.

  And then they were kissing again, one passionate bloom after another. Soon tongues and the edge of teeth joined in, hands through hair and the hot graze of scruff on their jawlines.

  Joseph was not a brawny man by any means. Joseph didn’t have the physique of a farmer or laborer. Still, he wasn’t used to being the slighter figure, especially in an embrace. But he had never been in a passionate embrace, just timid, comforting ones. The heat rose in Joseph’s core and he let it rise.

  For the first time in his life, this passionate desire within him did not feel sinful but sacred. Joseph indulged deeper in Warren’s heat, raking his fingers through Warren’s hair, relishing the feel of Warren’s touch on his face, his neck. Warren tasted like Heaven on earth and Joseph’s entire body thrummed to life.

  Joseph felt on the edge of lifting into a new, hot state of passion when Warren suddenly broke their kiss.

/>   Panting and concerned, Joseph pulled back enough to see the look of frustration on Warren’s face in the firelight.

  “What’s wrong?” Joseph managed, mind somersaulting in confusing. He thought things had been going well.

  “Believe me when I say nothing on earth world distract me from this except one thing,” Warren stated.

  Joseph swallowed, fearing the worst. “What’s that?”

  In answer Warren took Joseph’s hand, slipped it into his coat, and pressed it firm to the left side of his stomach. Joseph’s heart leapt as he felt the baby moving inside.

  “First time… I’ve felt her… really move,” Warren breathed. “This is… wow.”

  The sexual heat in Joseph’s core suddenly entwined with his protective instinct. The two feelings inside him were not battling each other, but clinging to one another desperately. Joseph felt sexual and nurturing all at once. He felt alive.

  “This.. is a lot,” Joseph choked out.

  “It is and I’m sorry,” Warren said.

  “Don’t be sorry,” Joseph reprimanded. “Does it hurt?”

  “No,” Warren answered. “But it’s like nothing I’ve ever felt before.”

  “Me either. And it’s amazing.”

  The two cuddled together in silence for several minutes and the baby settled down. Overwhelmed but happy, Joseph shifted to look at Warren again. His eyes were tired but they gleamed in the firelight and a hook of a smile was fixed on the edge of his lips.

  “You’re a good kisser,” Warren said.

  Joseph laughed softly. “I’ll take the compliment only because I haven’t had much practice.” He brushed the backs of his fingers across Warren’s cheek. “I always thought there was something very wrong with me. I thought my desires were sinful.”

  Warren sighed. “Humans made up a lot of rules about desire that angels have never followed. Actually, all angels, Fallen or Righteous, can fall in love with men or women. It’s not in our nature to desire one or the other the same as it is for humans. But… most humans deny their nature however it happens. Your desires aren’t sinful. You won’t be able to tell other humans… but, among angels, such desires are not a sin, shame, or secret.”