Lost Energy

by Lynn Vroman

  “Come on, you know that’s not realistic…please.”

  His eyes slammed shut, his jaw tightening as he worked to control his emotions. The wind picked up outside, though no storms erupted. When he spoke, his voice was soft, deceptively soft. “You have Wilma.”

  “Great. Wonderful, but there’s always what-if.” He shook his head, and I grasped the sides of his face, forcing him to look at me. “Maybe there’s only a slight chance, but there’s a chance. Just make sure I end up here.”

  He inhaled, blowing it out in slow intervals. Then he kissed me until I almost forgot what I asked.

  Almost.

  But yeah, he definitely had moves.

  We broke apart, both of us working on catching our breath. But I wouldn’t let it go. Not until he promised. “Promise me.”

  He slid a finger down my cheek, sadness dulling his eyes.

  “Tarek?”

  A pause, the silence I loved and hated, stretched between us. He finally leaned up to speak right against my lips. “Wherever you are is where I’ll be. Always.”

  WAR ROOMS

  As soon as the portal opened, the drawbridge came down far enough for us to leap onto it. We ran full-bore to the big double steel doors as the bridge moved to close up again. The right door flung open when we were feet from it, Wilma there waving a frantic hand to hurry.

  The door slammed behind us while Farren and I gasped for breath, mostly from the rush of adrenaline, both of us used to a little exercise.

  Wilma glared while we heaved and coughed, her hands planted on hips. When I caught my breath, I managed to find every cobweb woven in the hallway ceiling. I counted twenty before glancing at Wilma again, who still tagged us with her famous sneer.

  Speak, dumbass!

  It wasn’t clear if Wilma or I blared the command in my head, but we were probably thinking along the same lines.

  Farren braved her wrath first. “Umm…Wilma? This was my idea. Don’t–”

  “Save it.” She raised a hand to him, keeping her blue glare on me. “There’s not a damn thing you can say to convince me you didn’t let a kid talk you into being stupid.”

  “Hey! I’m not…” My face burned when her eyes narrowed. “…a kid.”

  I so wanted to sound more mature than that.

  She didn’t acknowledge me, not with words, anyway. I still got the stare that’d turn Hell into an ice rink. She pointed to Farren. “Go get some sleep. You got two hours before we figure shit out.”

  Under normal circumstance, he would’ve told the person talking to him like that to fuck off. Wilma wasn’t any person–and she never would be. “Yeah, okay. Ah…sorry, Wilma.” He nudged my shoulder before taking off down the hall past Wilma, doing a run/walk trot before disappearing around the corner.

  Wilma tortured me with her condemnation a few minutes longer. I wouldn’t say sorry, though. No matter how much my knees shook, I kept my chin lifted, staring right into her shark eyes. Finally, she let me have it.

  “Do you realize how dangerous that was?” Her voice grew quieter with every word, way different than her usual yelling. That flat tone made me wish I’d went to the bathroom before coming back.

  “I-I had to go. The plan wouldn’t have worked, if not.”

  The calm she exuded wasn’t fooling anybody. “Is that right?”

  I swallowed, fighting the urge to cross my legs. If I pissed myself, well, that’d suck. “Y-yes. Tarek…he was so upset…the weather.” Spitting out this excuse before Farren opened the returning portal sounded so much more convincing. I dropped my gaze, shaking my head. The energy it took to talk my way out of the mess became exhausting. I went with good old-fashioned honesty. “I had to see him, one more time, in case I didn’t make it back.”

  “Oh, you’ll make it back. I’ll make sure nothing–ah, damn it.” Her raspy voice hardened, but there was no denying how it quaked.

  I glanced up to find her anger gone, replaced with unshed tears. “Wilma?”

  She yanked me down into a fierce hug, taking me by complete surprise. “Don’t ever leave without telling me again. Ever. I promise never to stop you, but… I can’t protect you if I don’t know where you are.”

  I squeezed her hard, my own tears soaking her neck. “Deal. Sorry.” Okay, fine. I said it. But this Wilma had a stronger impact than angry Wilma.

  “Me too, honey. For everything. Your life, this life, wasn’t supposed to work out this way. I wanted you to be happy for once.”

  I buried my face deeper in her warmth, wanting to absorb all the stress I caused her. “I am happy–if you don’t count the ‘dimension wanting to kill us’ problem.”

  She laughed. “That’s a pretty big problem.”

  “Yeah, but there’s no place I’d rather be than right here with you.”

  Snorting, she patted my back. “Well, you’re a dumbass.”

  Awe, there she was, and man, I loved her.

  ∞ ∞ ∞

  Sleep never came. Granted, two hours wasn’t exactly enough time to take a sponge bath, remove the crud from my hair and pull a brush through it, eat, and nap. Something had to give, not that my nerves would let me sleep, anyway.

  Did these people really think I could lead a goddamn recon mission? Wilma said they were looking at me as a leader. Hopefully, she meant that in the most metaphorical way possible. The only thing I’d ever led was a track team. We won states last year, but still. Never had to kill anybody to do it.

  After the last knot came loose, I pulled my hair in a bun. When the knock on the door rang through the hollow room, I was more than ready to get everything in motion–so it could end.

  Expecting Farren or Wilma, I yelled to come in, busy figuring out how to tighten the waist on the way too fancy Empyrean pants. Having trembling hands didn’t help matters. Frustrated, I yanked a little too hard, breaking the leather ties.

  “Damn it! How can I pretend like I know what I’m doing in front of those people if I can’t even figure out how to work my pants?”

  Then the fuzz registered.

  I looked up to find a sad smile painting Zander’s face. “Oh. Oh, um, hi.”

  “Hey.” He moved to the dresser and pulled out another pair of pants made from fabric I didn’t recognize.

  Recognize it or not, all the clothes here were made from the same stuff, and when on, they felt like being wrapped in a cloud. If it weren’t for the damn ties…

  He handed them to me, grinning. “Here, try again.”

  I hugged them to my chest, my face burning. Crazy I let him kiss me.

  Can’t believe I felt something.

  “Ah, thanks.” I sprinted behind the dressing screen by the shuttered window. The ties on the second pair weren’t any easier. “Aren’t there any with an elastic waist?”

  “Afraid not.”

  “Shit.”

  His footsteps echoed on the marble floor, coming closer. “Let me help.”

  First instinct was to tell him to back off, but I swallowed that in favor of not having my pants end up around my ankles. I stepped from behind the curtain, holding them up to avoid a scene. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find any cloudy-soft underwear. “Just…watch where you put your fingers.”

  “Damn, Lena. I’m not a perv.” His deft fingers had no trouble lacing the blue fabric together. “There. You ready?” He headed toward the door.

  “Zander?”

  He stopped, not turning around. “Yeah?”

  I concentrated on my fingers, cataloging every new scratch. “About last night, I–”

  “No, don’t. Don’t say it.” His shoulders sagged. “I’ll never have a chance with you, and I’ll never be able to make up for what I’ve done, but…let me have last night, okay?”

  Nothing I could have said would’ve made it easier, and so I did the next best thing. I moved to circle his waist, resting my cheek on his back.

  He folded my hands in his. “When this is over, if you don’t mind, I want to go to Arcus with you. You’ll need my
help for when…for when they attack again.”

  There was no if, only when.

  I turned into his shirt and smiled. “I’d like that.”

  “Come on.” He squeezed my hands. “There are a few more people you have to meet.”

  Great. We might as well add to the tally of others who potentially hated me.

  Zander took us through hall after hall until the whole place felt like a rat maze. The more halls we trekked, the deeper we went into the manse. When I finally had enough marble and empty space, Zander opened a door–to stairs.

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” I said.

  He grinned, yanking a torch from the hand of one of many statues decorating the halls. “A little farther.” He grabbed my hand. “Stay to the right.”

  I snorted. “Or what? We fall into the dragon’s lair?”

  “Nothing so dramatic.” He flashed the torch on the stairs, the stone crumbled and chipped. “The right side’s in better shape. Lights went out a few days ago.”

  “What’s down here?” I held his hand so tight, my nails dug into his skin.

  “Ah! Ease up, will ya? It’s kinda like a bomb shelter, I guess. We’ve been using it as a military room lately.”

  “Military room?”

  We reached a platform, and Zander guided us to the left. “You think Empyrean wouldn’t have an army?”

  “By the looks of things outside…”

  He nodded. “They haven’t been winning any battles. Their numbers are low, maybe a hundred. Most are residing here in case Teenesee can’t keep the shield up. If they take her–”

  “We’re screwed.”

  “Pretty much, yeah.”

  We stopped at a set of iron doors that put doors in gothic insane asylums to shame. Zander handed me the torch and pulled out a key hanging from a chain around his neck. After a few tries, the lock clicked. Zander shouldered the heavy door open. Wouldn’t you know it, another long-ass corridor. “Really, Zander?”

  He took the torch back, the flames flashing on his grin. “Almost there.”

  Thankfully, we only walked another few minutes before the fuzz in my brain magnified. Avery and Grace were down here, or we wouldn’t have to look that far for the nest. Since Zander didn’t panic, I assumed the former.

  We turned one last corner, and the hall bled into one single, enormous room. Large groups of people, including Winston, the Protectors he brought with him, and Wilma and Farren crowded around the biggest table with map holograms glowing above it. The sole person to glance our way was Wilma, who motioned us over.

  Zander hooked the torch on an iron holder cemented in the wall, its flame no longer necessary. A cache of those ultra-green orbs encased in a cell-like room took up the entire left wall, putting out enough energy to light up New York City. “Holy shit.”

  He tugged me over to the table, smiling. “Cool, huh?”

  Cool. Sure, we’d go with cool.

  I moved to stand beside Winston and Farren as some really tall, really dark, and really handsome man explained the dimension’s terrain, pointing at certain spots marked with a bright green N. When he looked down and noticed me, he smiled and extended his hand through the hologram. “It has been a while, Lena.” His soft voice carried.

  I reached for his hand, his grip firm. “Um, I take it we knew each other? Before?”

  He nodded once. “Pit, Commander of Teenesee’s guard.”

  “Nice to meet you, again.” Our odds were getting better and better.

  He gestured to the map. “As we were discussing, we will begin the hunt tonight in order to avoid Guides in their purest form.” He brought the two marked spots closer by touching them. “These two areas have the highest Exemplian activity. The nests are more than likely in the vicinity.”

  I squinted, taking a closer look at the terrain. “How can you be sure?”

  “Because I trust my scouts. The wooded site has less traffic, but there is still activity.” He straightened, a small grin lighting his face. “They have become overly confident, not leaving many Protectors there to guard that nest.” Pit’s calm washed through my brain, infecting me. “We will be rid of this plague by morning.”

  His confidence, quieter than Winston’s but as strong, made everyone in the room lift their chins a bit higher.

  The thought of being anywhere near a cluster of Guides in energy form caused my skin to prickle, though. Last time, their attack made me useless. But I wouldn’t share that. No, I had to act as if I knew what to do next.

  I pointed to the two marked spots. “Okay, so we split up, Winston with one group, Wilma with the other. Better to communicate through minds. Who knows what devices they have, bad enough they got the screens.”

  “I’m impressed, Lena. I see a new life becomes you.” Pit folded his hands in front of him.

  My face heated, but his compliment gave my beat-up ego a boost. I kept focus on the map. “Yeah, well, almost getting killed a couple times makes you quick on your feet.”

  Winston jumped in. “My group’ll scout this area.” He pointed to the main village. “Wilma can check out the woods.”

  Knowing I’d be with Wilma, I didn’t like that idea much. “No. We’ll check that one out. You take Grace and Zander. We’ll take Avery.”

  Winston shook his head. “You take Grace and check out the woods. The villages are crawling with Exemplians killing off the population.”

  I closed my eyes to keep from rolling them and clenched my fists to prevent punching him in the face. No way would I waste time arguing. “Each group needs an active Guide if one of us…” Didn’t need to finish that thought. “I’m going to check out the village site. Period.” I opened my eyes and pegged him with a look I’d practiced after getting it from Wilma for years. “There isn’t gonna be any debate.”

  He opened his mouth, but Wilma interjected, her tone leaving no room for argument. “We’re taking the village.” Her promise drifted in my head: I’ll find out, one way or another…

  Farren slung an arm across my shoulders, thankfully no longer fangirling around Winston. “I’m going with her.” He nodded to Soccer Mom and Accountant. “Take a few of them to help protect Zander and the old lady.”

  Oren perked up, irritation tightening his face. “Watch it.”

  I held up a hand, so not wanting to deal with testosterone. “Enough. Farren, ease up. And, Oren? Stop making that face. Anyone ever tell you it might freeze like that?” I turned to Pit, who though calm, had tension narrowing his eyes. “Sorry, continue.”

  “Right.” He cleared his throat, focusing on the screen. “As soon as the fires are blazing, I will need to be informed.” He touched his temple. “We will then stage an attack. However,” he glanced at Winston, “you must inform Arcus’s Warden when the enemy screams render the air. That is our surprise–that is how we will beat them.”

  Winston nodded, concentrating on the map. “We need to do anything and everything to kill as many as possible. The more energy, the better.”

  Oren crowded the table, pushing a few Empyrean soldiers out of the way. “Wait. We had a deal.”

  I sighed, looking at Avery, forever hiding behind her Protector. “You come up with anything?”

  She stepped forward, face ashen and looking about ten pounds lighter than when we first met. “The only way is for Zander and I to go into the camps in energy form, sense the reluctant participants, and convince them to leave with us.”

  I palmed the table, leaning forward to make sure she didn’t miss my anger. “That’s it? That’s what you came up with?” I looked at Zander, who shook his head, and pegged her again. “Your plan will eat up precious time. Time we’re not gonna have when they figure out we’re around.” I stood back. “No. It’s too risky.”

  Oren’s face turned a bright shade of red, almost purple. “So, you’re willing to kill innocent people?” He sneered, throwing a finger in my face. “You talk about change, a new life? Different ideas? No. Death hasn’t changed you.”

>   All right, that did it. I slammed a fist on the table, making the hologram’s pixels scatter. “Every goddamned person out there is fucking guilty!” Not even Wilma tried to calm me down. “Have you seen what they’ve done to these people? Because I have. The real innocent people are covered in bloody sheets and thrown on the street like trash.” I narrowed my eyes. “Do you know they killed Teenesee’s daughters? Do you even care?”

  His face paled. “They’re here under duress. It’s fight or death.”

  “So you want to save people with a ‘better them than me’ mentality? Is that it? They’ve killed children,” my voice hitched before I could swallow it, “babies.”

  From my peripheral, I noticed a few Protectors shaking their heads. Soccer Mom had tears pooling in her eyes.

  Oren pursed his lips–and kept on arguing. “I’m saying we should at least try.”

  “Fuck that.”

  I nodded to Pit before heading to the hall. Who knew if I’d find my way back up to my room, but when Wilma, Farren, Winston, and Zander followed me I stopped worrying about it. If that sonofabitch thought throwing the past in my face would change my mind, well, he didn’t know me all that well.

  I yelled over my shoulder as we rounded the corner. “Tell you what, anyone who grovels–no, begs–for mercy might get a chance to live another life, but trust me when I say this, they won’t get to finish this one.”

  THE CALM BEFORE

  I needed to puke. Seriously. I even had to swallow the regurgitated diet of dried fruit and fish a couple times. Talking about killing people as if I’d done it before, like it wasn’t a big deal, made me sound like I belonged in a psyche ward.

  Sociopath, anyone?

  They followed me to my room, none making any moves to leave once I opened the door. I shuffled my feet, wishing for alone time. All I wanted was to let my stomach have free reign over the toilet in private. “So, um, I guess I’ll see you all tonight?”

  Winston shrugged and stuck in his earbuds before taking off down the hall. “Sounds good. Later.”

  Christ, if I thought of myself as the perfect case study for sociopathy, well, the way Winston acted he’d have been any psyche major’s wet dream.