The Flash of a Firefly

by Amber Riley

  Sullivan was standing at the end of the hall shaking a snow globe as I stormed from the room. I couldn’t face him. I couldn’t even face myself. I started in the opposite direction, going nowhere in particular. I just had to leave.

  “She will grant you forgiveness,” he whispered, looking out the window. I stopped and clamped my eyes shut. I didn’t want to hear it. “You didn’t force yourself upon her. She won’t hold it against you,” he promised.

  I continued to walk away from him, down the stairs and out the French doors. I crossed the backyard and drove my fist into the thickest tree I saw. It creaked, and a few of the remaining leaves fell around me.

  Someone moved in the shadows. “What now?” I screamed. “If you want me, come and get me. I’m right here. I’m right fucking here.”

  “Kaden,” Sullivan called softly from behind me.

  “What?” I snapped, and all the anger left my body. The guilt came crashing around me like a tidal wave, making it hard to breathe. “What?” I asked quietly.

  Chapter 15

  As I watched Lyn sleep, her chest gently rising and falling, I went over and over Sullivan’s story in my head. He had finally told me exactly what happened before he ended up in Canada. He had accidentally killed the human woman he loved and upset some important vampires at the same time. It didn’t put me at ease, but at least I understood. A lot of things suddenly made sense, and it made me all the more determined to protect Lyn with everything I had.

  She made a small sound, and my body tensed. When she didn’t wake up, I relaxed against the headboard. I traced the line of her jaw with my finger and glanced at her neck. I hadn’t been gentle. There were two deep puncture wounds that were swollen and red.

  “Kaden?” Her eyes opened slowly, searching for me in the dark.

  “I’m so sorry,” I told her, staring at the ceiling. “I’m so, so sorry.”

  She reached in the direction of my voice and found my hand. “You’re warm.”

  I let out a groan and pulled my hand away. Her blood would stay warm inside my veins for hours. I would have an extra boost of strength and energy until it was out of my system. Going back to my diet now would make me feel twice as weak.

  “I didn’t mean to hurt you,” I whispered.

  The sheets rustled as she pulled herself into a sitting position. She let out a little gasp as she touched the holes I had left in her. “I’m not mad at you,” she told me. “I wanted you to do it.”

  “Why?” I asked. “Why didn’t you run when I told you to?”

  “I wasn’t afraid.” She looked in my direction and gave me a small smile. “Can you turn on the light? I can’t see anything.”

  I got up and flicked the switch. Lyn blinked against the sudden light and gasped. Before I realized that I was topless, Lyn cried out, “Oh, my God.”

  I hit the light switch again, throwing her back into darkness. My breathing picked up, and I counted backward from ten. I had never let anyone outside the family see my scars. Just the thought of them took me to a dark place.

  “What happened to you?” She hopped down from the bed and stumbled.

  I caught her and set her on the edge of the bed again. I knelt in front of her and put my forehead on her knees. “I took more than I should have. You might be a little dizzy for a bit, so don’t try to get up.”

  “Kaden?”

  I squeezed the sheets on either side of her legs. “I’m sorry. I can’t say it enough. I never … I didn’t want … I was supposed to protect you.”

  It felt like someone had stuck a knife in my stomach and was twisting it around and around. She was such a fragile little thing. If I couldn’t keep my control around her, then I was a liability. I felt so guilty that I couldn’t imagine it happening again though. I hated myself.

  “It’s okay.” Her fingers ran through my hair. “It really is.”

  I sighed. I would never be able to make it up to her. The fact that she was fine with everything, that she had wanted it, made me feel even worse. I didn’t understand how she could be all right with it. I wanted her to be mad. I wanted her to yell at me and try to storm out of the house in a fit of rage.

  “What happened to you?” she asked again.

  It was in that moment that I decided two things that would make everything good again. The first thing: I would tell her what she wanted to know. She deserved that much. I flipped on the light again and stood in front of her, trying not to be embarrassed.

  “Give me your hand.”

  She stared at me, shocked. “What …”

  I took her hand and directed her fingers over the first set of scars. She didn’t flinch away but touched them carefully, like they might still hurt. Her eyes studied each of the three crosses on the left side of my lower abdomen.

  “That’s where he pressed a crucifix into my skin until I lost consciousness. When I came around, he did it again. And then a third time.” I moved her fingers around to my side. The scars there were the ugliest. It looked like someone had carved strips out of my skin with a melon baller. “And this is where he dripped the holy water.”

  “Who is ‘he’?” she asked, mesmerized.

  “The Marquis. He takes care of the punishments for the master vampire, and he enjoys every second of it.”

  She trailed her hand freely over the scars. She outlined them one by one, touching first the skin around them and then the wounds themselves. Her fingers left streaks of heat behind that were barely noticeable with my new body temperature.

  I stepped back as her hand reached the bottom of the last holy water trail. She watched without changing her expression as I pulled a clean shirt from my dresser. It made me self-conscious. I knew how bad the scars looked. I turned away from her until I was covered again.

  Lyn winced from pain as she turned her head. “What were you being punished for?”

  I bent down to her level and took her chin in my fingers, moving her hair to the side to get a better look at the wounds. “I tried to leave,” I said. “Someone ratted me out.”

  “But you got away,” she said, half statement, half question.

  “I was more careful the second time,” I explained.

  The fang marks weren’t healing like they should have been. In fact, they looked infected. They couldn’t be though. My saliva was free of anything that could cause that from happening. It was just bruised and sore.

  “It’s not that bad,” she lied.

  “It is.” I let go of her chin. “I bit too deep.”

  “Really, it’s—”

  “Don’t.” I met her eyes. “I’ll get you some ice for the swelling. Lie back down and try to get some more sleep so you’ll heal properly.”

  She did what I told her, snuggling between the sheets, as I headed down to the kitchen. Reece was there, sitting on the green marble counter, talking to Sid. They both shut up as soon as they saw me, making me curious. No one ever stopped talking unless they were saying something they didn’t want you to hear.

  I went straight to the freezer and started pawing through frozen food. It was a mystery to me when all the microwave dinners made their way into the house. I hadn’t really thought about what everyone was eating. But there was an extraordinary number of supposedly healthy meals.

  “We’re going with you,” Reece told me. “To the meeting.”

  “I figured you would want to.” I continued to move boxes around. Ice shouldn’t be that difficult to find. “How’s the pack?”

  “Alex is using the car to get them all back to the city,” Sid explained. “He should be getting back from the last trip in a few minutes, and then we’re heading out.”

  Where were the ice trays? I started taking boxes out and stacking them in the sink. They had to be in there somewhere.

  “What are you looking for?” Reece asked.

  “Ice,” I grumbled.

  He hopped off the counter and grabbed a glass from the cupboard. He started to shut the freezer slowly until I moved out of the way. S
etting the glass on the shelf inside the stainless steel door, he asked, “Crushed or cubed?”

  Does it matter? I thought. Ice was ice. It would do the same thing no matter what shape it was in. “Crushed,” I answered anyway. It would be more comfortable to set on her neck.

  Reece pushed the button, and ice came falling out. I had bought the refrigerator because it looked nice and matched the rest of the kitchen, but I had never needed to use it before. When the cup was full, Reece hopped back onto the counter and grabbed an apple from the bowl beside him.

  “Thanks.” I grabbed a dish towel from the drawer and dumped the ice onto it. “Where are the two of you heading? Home to get some rest, I hope.”

  “Alex is going to stay here,” Sid said. “But I’ll need Reece to come with me. We’ll be back in time for the meeting though.”

  “He’s back.” Reece took a big bite from the red delicious as a car rolled up to the house. “Ready to go?”

  Sid nodded. “See you later.”

  They were up to something. He had gone around my question without really answering it. If they didn’t want me to know what they were planning, maybe it was better that I didn’t. It was always easier to deny something if you didn’t know the details.

  Lyn was half-asleep when I got back. Her eyes were fluttering in an attempt to stay open. Her hair was clinging to the pillowcase with static electricity, and her hand was resting over the puncture wounds. I sat down behind her and lifted her hand.

  I grabbed my cell phone off the nightstand and checked for missed calls. Merv hadn’t called back. There was a part of me that was in denial over his death. I hadn’t seen his body. Maybe he was alive somewhere too.

  I tried to force myself to accept the truth. Francesca didn’t know I had been listening to that specific conversation. Merv was dead. I hadn’t been able to save him, but there was still time to save Tom. He didn’t like me at the moment, or maybe he never did, but I could do something for Lyn’s sake.

  Lyn moved her hand over mine to hold the ice in place. Her eyes were shut, but her grip on the ice was strong. I let go and let her keep the pressure on it so I could send the message.

  I had less than two hundred characters to text Tom to stay inside and not let anyone in until I said it was okay. I had to do it without scaring him, and I had to mention the idea of keeping silver bullets handy. I was sure he would catch the werewolf reference, but I had never admitted to him that they were real before. I sighed and clicked the message out.

  It had been a long night. My body was still buzzing with Lyn’s blood, and my head was still spinning from the talk with Francesca. My mind didn’t even have the capacity to fully grasp everything with Sid and the Philadelphia pack. And there was still the second part of my decision to take care of before I could get some sleep.

  “I’ll be right back,” I whispered in Lyn’s ear.

  Then I went to stand in front of Sullivan’s door. It was intricately carved with scrolls and little flowers, just like the rest of the ones on the second floor. My hand hesitated before knocking. I was determined that I had made the right choice, but I couldn’t stop feeling like it was wrong. When he told me to come inside, I had to ignore the urge to turn around.

  He was sitting at a small desk that was situated in the far corner of the room. A copy of Guinness World Records was wide open in front of him. His head was propped up with his fist under his chin, and only his eyes moved to look at me.

  “I have a favor to ask,” I blurted. I had to get it out before I changed my mind. “When this is done—”

  “You want me to erase her memories of what’s happened,” he finished for me. “I had a feeling you would.”

  “Yes,” I sighed. There was no going back now that I had asked it. I would stick to the plan. “It’s better that way.”

  “For some of us.” He shut the book slowly and turned his head to look at me. “I will do it because you asked me to.”

  I wasn’t quite sure if that meant he didn’t agree with what I was doing or not, but it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Lyn was going to be able to go home and forget this ever happened. She would be able to finish school, take care of her father, get married, have children, and die at an old age without knowing what really lurked in the shadows. It would never erase my guilt, but it was the only thing I could do for her at that point.

  “Thank you,” I told him. “I’ll let you know when.”

  He nodded and opened his book again. “Sleep well.”

  I felt exhausted by the time I made it into my own room. Lyn was still holding the ice on her neck, but she was losing the battle to stay awake. I lifted the towel away from her and put it in the bathroom sink to melt.

  “Is everything okay?” she asked.

  “Yes.” I climbed into the other side of the bed carefully. I wasn’t sure if she would be comfortable with the idea any longer, but she was calm and relaxed. In fact, once I was settled, she inched closer to me and put her head on my shoulder.

  “Good night,” she whispered right before drifting off to sleep.

  I would have rather had her hate me. There was no question about it. I didn’t deserve to be forgiven.

  Chapter 16

  I hadn’t slept much. What sleep I did get was restless. It wasn’t just my conscience, although that was a big part of it. I was like a person on a caffeine high. The fresh blood woke my body up. I was buzzing with energy all day and was even feeling the effects of it as I sat in the leather recliner in my living room.

  Flo and Stu were at it again. It hadn’t gotten to the point where anyone would get injured, unless you count a headache, so I didn’t stop them. It was going to happen. They were like five-year-old siblings. You could put them in time out, but the second you turned your back they would be at it again.

  “Being the ladies’ man that you are, you shouldn’t have a problem,” she hissed at Stu.

  “Don’t flatter yourself. You’re not my type,” he replied. “Besides, it only works on human women.”

  “It doesn’t work with any women—alive or dead,” she snarled.

  “Sure it does.” Stu turned his head toward Lyn and smiled. The look in his eyes changed, and his voice dropped an octave. “Hey, what do you say about—”

  The spoon hit him right between his eyes, sending corn flakes around the room. It was a perfect throw. “Don’t even try it,” I told him.

  Stu started to laugh and used his sleeve to clean the milk off his forehead. Lyn looked at him, then at me, and then down at her cereal before she realized what had happened. “I was using that,” she said when she spotted the spoon on the floor.

  Stu kept laughing. “Don’t let him bully you.” He disappeared into the kitchen and popped back up beside her with a clean spoon. She jumped in surprise but smiled. He reached over and ruffled her hair. “So are we going or not?”

  “I’m not,” Alex said. He glared at me from the stairs, where he had perched himself. He had to be uncomfortable. Marble wouldn’t have been my seat of choice, but he didn’t want to be anywhere near me.

  Apparently he had just as big a problem with Lyn being bitten as I did. He made that blatantly obvious when I went downstairs just after dark. It wasn’t so much the shoulder check as it was the snide remark about being hungry. In my opinion, he had gotten a little big for his britches, or maybe Sid was getting too lax in the way he ran his pack. That was my doubled-edged sword. I wanted the racism between species gone, but I wanted their never-ending respect.

  “Party pooper,” Stu taunted. “That’s what you get for staying up to watch American Werewolf in London with a certain human this afternoon.”

  Alex glared at him. “Mind your own business.”

  Stu rolled his eyes at me. “What about you?”

  “What about me?” I grumbled. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what he had in mind. It was either the grin that was spread across his face or the way he said it. I knew Stu too well.

  “We’re going
to your club for a night out.” He started doing a little dance in the middle of the room. “We’ll let off some steam before playing Russian roulette with our lives.”

  I sat in that chair wondering if I had heard him wrong. They were talking about going dancing when we were in the middle of a manure pile. I blinked slowly at him and shook my head. “You can’t be serious.”

  “Of course we are,” Flo scoffed. “Even Sullivan is coming.”

  Sullivan looked completely modern from his clothing to his hair, which was slicked back and knotted. “It will be a good time to check the exits,” he said, squirming uncomfortably in the recliner opposite my own.

  I did want to take a look around before the meeting. I had my reservations about the location. There weren’t many exits, and being in such a busy neighborhood, it wouldn’t give us much privacy if things went downhill. It would be crowded tonight. It would be hard for anyone to attack us, but it would also be hard to defend ourselves.

  “Would you like to go?” I asked Lyn.

  She hesitated. “I … guess, yeah.”

  She was probably worried about getting killed before I had a chance to take her back home. As unwarranted as that fear might be, I could hardly blame her for it. She was just a little girl with no special abilities. She wasn’t stronger, faster, or more agile than any of the things trying to kill her.

  “Wear this.” Flo held out a loosely knitted blue scarf to Lyn. “We don’t need to advertise anything.”

  There was a grunt from the stairs. I turned my head and threw Alex a dirty look. “You can stop. I get it.”

  “Do you?” He got up and stormed into the kitchen. He started pulling dishes out of the cupboards and slamming things around. I had to bite my tongue and let it go. He was young after all.

  Flo started to fuss with her hair in front of the mirror. Her eyes were carefully done with dark shadows, and the neckline on her dress plunged. Stu was hovering behind her. She batted him away, but he just moved to her other side. He was asking for trouble, and he got it. She spun around and swung a fist at his head.