Rozalyn 4

by Shan

  ​“You had Justice kill DeAngelo?” I questioned and took a deep breath.

  I could feel the heat coming from my body and knew I needed to calm down. Tamar had his little girl in here and I didn’t want things to turn ugly and she end up hurt.

  ​ “And?” Tamar responded with more cockiness like there was nothing wrong with what he had done.

  ​ “That’s my baby mama’s brother. You knew that! She’s been sick as fuck behind that shit-driving me crazy over it, and you had my little brother do your dirty work!”

  ​“Look nigga, I don’t fuckin’ answer to nobody understand me? That nigga deserved every muthafuckin’ thing he got and I applaud Lil’ Justice for handling his thieving ass. That nigga ate off of six bricks and for some reason thought a nigga was handing out donations. He had an ample amount of time to produce my work or my money. And did neither-so fuck him and fuck you if you got a muthafuckin’ problem with it nigga!” Tamar boasted.

  The baby began to stir on the bed, I held my head down, and stared at my shoes for a few moments before I looked back up at Tae. “All I’m saying is that Justice is only seventeen years old and I would prefer that you left him out of shit like this. He don’t need to be murking niggas at this age mane. He’s still a lil’ boy.” I said through gritted teeth.

  ​ “Man, your brother came to me begging me to put some money in his damn pocket. Put some money in your pockets for that matter. He told me all about your moms and the situation y’all had going on before you moved up out the hood. I don’t make niggas do nothing they don’t wanna do, but if they coming to me saying they hungry, then I’ma make sure they eat. That’s one thing I don’t have a problem with-and that’s feeding a nigga. Your brother is hungry and…”

  ​ “And he don’t know shit about what’s going on out here Tae! He moving too fuckin’ fast and you know it.”

  ​ “Well maybe you should talk to him about that. Don’t come to me with that shit. I got my own family problems; I ain’t tryin’ to deal with y’all shit too. By the way, tell Justice to keep his fuckin’ mouth shut. He should’ve never told you shit about what he did for me.”

  ​ “You don’t have to worry about him or me saying anything. I just needed to know what he did to get that kind of money from you. That’s my lil’ brother and all I’m trying to do is look out for him. I hope you can understand that.”

  ​ Tamar nodded his head and took another pull of his cigarette. He left his place in front of me and went back over to the chaise to have a seat. I was confused as fuck right now. When E told me he was killed, I had no idea DeAngelo had done some bullshit as dumb as stealing six kilos of coke and refusing to pay the shit back.

  I couldn’t imagine anyone doing no crazy mess like that. Knowing if it had been me that he’d crossed, I probably would’ve-no I would’ve done the same damn thing. But shit, this was E’s brother we’re talking about. The mother of my child’s blood sibling and I knew who was responsible, but couldn’t say anything to her about it.

  This was a secret I was gonna have to take to my grave and I had to make sure Justice did the same. He couldn’t speak on this to anyone or that would be the end of my family.

  ​ “Your brother is a killer more than he’s a drug dealer. We all have a niche in life where we’re good at a few things, but there are some things we’re just better at. Young’n got the heart of a killer-Trust me I’ve been around enough to know one when I see one. You can try and stop him if you want to, but honestly after this, there’s no turning back.”

  ​ I held my head down thinking about what Tamar had just said. Had I raised a killer or was this something that was just in him? Without saying another word, I looked back at Tamar then turned around and left the room. Young’n got the heart of a killer echoed in my head as I sauntered down the halls and out of the hotel.

  ***

  Bam! Bam!

  I banged on the door and paced across the porch waiting for someone to answer. My nerves were bad and I honestly needed someone to talk to. I just couldn’t wrap my mind around the fact that Justice had killed someone and not only did he kill someone-he killed E’s little brother.

  Damn. How the fuck am I supposed to look at my girl knowing Justice is responsible for her pain?

  "What?"

  I turned around to see Passion standing at the door with her arms crossed over her chest and a look of disgust planted all over her face.

  "I need someone to talk to," I said throwing my hands on top of my head.

  "Really? You need someone to talk to?" She questioned, throwing deadly daggers in my direction.

  "Look, I'm sorry for the way I spoke to you earlier, but shit is fucked up right now. You gonna let me in or not?"

  "No, but I will come out and talk to you. You hurt my feelings and I’m not gonna make it that easy for you."

  "A’ight, I'll take that." I stepped back a few feet to allow some space between Passion and me. I pulled out a cigarette from the pack and a lighter from my pocket. Looking at my hand as I tried to light the square, I could see myself literally shaking. I guess Passion noticed it as well. Her eyes bucked wide open and she came closer to me.

  "Baby, what's wrong? Why you shaking like that?"

  "I know who killed E's brother."

  "For real? You gonna take care of that nigga or what? That's fucked up how they did him."

  "It was Jus, Passion. Tamar paid him to do it. Tamar fronted DeAngelo six kilos and he refused to pay for it. DeAngelo was supposed to be Tamar’s go to person out here but he fucked that up. I don't know how to feel about this shit Passion."

  Passion was quiet for a few moments before finally giving her opinion. "Think about how you felt when Lil’ Mark stole your work off the block that time. Had you struggling to make ends meet for a whole month. So just imagine how Tae felt-six keys Jamir? That's not no lil' work. What the fuck was DeAngelo thinking?"

  "I'm not questioning that Passion. What that nigga did was out-of-line. No doubt about it. But Tamar hired my seventeen-year-old brother to do the shit and had the nerve to tell me that Justice is a killer...it's in him. Not my seventeen-year-old brother!" I yelled, then took a deep breath to calm myself down. "Tamar knew DeAngelo was E's brother. That's why he didn't ask me to do it."

  "Would you have done it?"

  "What? Hell no! You know how bad E is suffering right now? Since I've known her, I've never seen her this bad."

  "I'm sure Tamar knew that you wouldn’t and that's why he asked Jamir and not you. Besides, there’s no honor amongst thieves. You know how I feel about niggas like that. Fuck DeAngelo. E will get over it and as far as Justice goes-he was bound to put in that work sooner or later. At least he got some cheddar for it."

  I looked at Passion and wanted to straight slap her for what she’d just said. Nobody seemed to understand my point of view. Justice was only seventeen-years-old and not ready for this life like everyone seemed to think. I raised him; therefore, I knew him better than anyone.

  I knew that if shit got too hot for him, he would easily fold and find himself staring down the barrel of a gun. That-I was trying to prevent.

  "Stop worrying about it. The only thing you need to worry about is making sure the baby’s mom never finds out. That would be the real problem," Passion smirked.

  I took a tug at the cancer stick and shook my head. Her finding out would be the real problem. I guess I should be more worried about that than anything. Passion reached for my hand and pulled me inside of her house.

  "You need to relieve some stress? Come on," she said closing the door behind me. "Let me help you out."

  19 TAMAR

  “Hey guys! Do I have you both on the line?” Dr. Eppinger asked.

  “Yeah, I’m here,” I said looking into the computer and couldn’t help but look at my wife on the screen in repulsion.

 
She sat in some big ass chair with a look of conceit and cockiness spread across her face. Fuck she think she me or somebody! She looked damn good though, that I won’t lie about. But seeing her look at me like this was some big ass joke to her, pissed me off.

  Seeing as how we were supposed to be conducting weekly sessions with Dr. Eppinger for six weeks, and only attended one meeting, I decided to hook up a Skype session with Dr. Eppinger out of Houston. I promised I would do this therapy shit and that’s what I was going to do.

  Truthfully, I wasn’t about to let Rozalyn walk away from me like that. She was gonna have to give me a good damn reason and a good ass argument before I let her off that easily.

  “I’m here as well,” Rozalyn said crossing her arms over her chest.

  “Good. I’m so excited to be speaking with you two. Rozalyn, Tamar contacted me the other day and explained that you all had a family emergency and that’s why I haven’t seen you. I was beginning to think you guys had given up but I’m happy that you haven’t. I’m so glad we could work out this Skype session and talk about what’s being going on,” Dr. Eppinger said happily. “So please tell me what has happened since the last session?”

  “Well-I’m a little upset that Tamar decided to sell our home-well his home without making me aware as well as he decided to stop construction on my shop without telling me. He also wants us to move to Dallas but he didn’t discuss that with me either;” Rozalyn said and I could hear her sigh loudly over the speakers of the computer.

  “I’ve always made decisions on where we lived since we left Atlanta so I don’t see why it’s a problem now,” I shrugged and reached for my drink. It was the middle of the day and I was already sipping on some of that good ol’ brown liquor.

  “Rozalyn, is this true? Why is it bothering you this time?” Dr. Eppinger asked Rozalyn. We both waited for her answer.

  “It’s always bothered me but before I could never really say anything-I just went along because I didn’t have much of a choice. Everywhere we’ve moved, I’ve pretty much been forced. Forced out of Atlanta-forced into Beijing...” she paused and looked away from the screen.

  I got up from the chair and went to pour myself another glass of Hennessey and thought about what Rozalyn was saying. Damn, she’s right. I thought and went back over to my chair. She was forced out of Atlanta but it wasn’t because of me.

  She could’ve stayed but it just seemed then that everything worked out the way it did for a reason. She had that pervert P.J. after her and Dmitri needed me in Miami for business. It was supposed to be the start of a fresh and new life. Never once did I think it would end up turning tragic and that she would be kidnapped and forced out of the country.

  And as far as me forcing her to move to Houston-shit that was just another time that I was protecting her from whatever crazy shit that fool Donald might have had up his sleeve. I know I told her it was only supposed to be temporary and we would be going back to Miami once shit settled-but that was the problem, shit never settled.

  Now, Dallas was where the money was and I wanted my family close to me. What the hell was so wrong with that?

  “Certain situations made it necessary for us to have to move around in the manner that we have, and Rozalyn knows that. It comes with the job,” I stated flatly not offering an apology.

  This is my life and the way a nigga like me has to live. I’m sorry she felt as if she was forced to sacrifice herself in order to be with me, but what else was she expecting? “What do you expect Rozalyn? You know what I do and if this isn’t the lifestyle you’re looking to live, then I need you to explain to me just what you were expecting ‘cause somehow we got confused.” I asked and shook my head completely in awe that she was feeling this way.

  “I expect for you to make me apart of these decisions. Decisions concerning where we live, where our kids live. Tamarion is about to start school. Is that something you want for him? To be moving around every school year-new city, new state every time he gets comfortable. How is he supposed to have a normal life like that?”

  “No, I would’ve preferred that you homeschooled the kids anyway. Damn it Rozalyn!” I yelled getting frustrated. Why the fuck is she trying to act like she don’t know what the fuck I go through every day? What the fuck I look like sending my boys to a fuckin’ public school, where a nigga can easily touch them?

  I grabbed a cigarette from the pack and fired it up, quickly taking a pull from it, and blowing the smoke in the air. The frustration I was starting to feel was beginning to become more and more evident to Rozalyn. I could tell she knew it was taking everything in me not to go straight the fuck off on her.

  “So you want me to stay at home-be this homemaker and just give up on everything that I wanted to do with my life. I’m only twenty-years-old Tamar. Damn, I have dreams and goals that I want to accomplish as well. I think it’s only fair that you at least act like that’s something you care about. I don’t wanna sit at home and take care of kids the rest of my life.”

  “I think what Rozalyn is saying is pretty fair Tamar. She doesn’t want to be a homemaker. I think she wants to feel like she’s contributing to the household in some type of way. Do you have a problem with her getting a job and helping out around the house?”

  I don’t need her help with shit around the house but the damn kids. What kinda job can she possibly get that would actually make a difference to our bank account?

  “Yes, he wants me to sit at home-cook, clean, take care of these kids, and hell pop more out,” Rozalyn scoffed. “While he goes out and has all the fun in the damn world. And the crazy thing, Dr. Eppinger, is that he doesn’t have to work. Why doesn’t he stay at home and be a homemaker, and let me go out and work for a change? I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t like it one bit.”

  I laughed and took another toke of my square.

  “Well, my suggestion is that you guys sit down and talk about this further. I think Rozalyn has made some pretty good points; I feel as if Tamar made some good points as well. Rozalyn wants to go out and have some independence and Tamar you want her to stay at home and care for the kids. This is very typical and something that I see often. I think Rozalyn you should give Tamar a plan of exactly what it is you want to do. Tamar, perhaps you should at least try her plan out. If it doesn’t work out, then you both need to figure something else out. Don’t let this small issue become something bigger than what it has to be. Okay?”

  I nodded my head but really didn’t give any thought to what Dr. Eppinger said. Rozalyn and I shared three kids together and of course a fourth one has been added from another relationship. If she wasn’t going to take care of them, then who the hell was.

  If she couldn’t do some shit as simple as that, then why the fuck do I need her? Maybe I needed to let her ass go.

  “I’m cool with that. I have my plan already thought out and ready to be discussed whenever Tamar is ready to listen,” Rozalyn said with a smile.

  “Is there anything else that needs to be discussed? What about from our last meeting? How did that go over? Did you all discuss that any further?”

  I sat back and listened as Rozalyn told Dr. Eppinger how things had gone well until this issue came up. In addition to the fact that I’d allowed her to go through a paternity battle with J.B. knowing that nigga wasn’t the father. She expressed how hurt she was in knowing that I would so selfishly cause her pain in order to gain something from it.

  Hearing her say that, I had to actually question if that’s what I had intended. Was I deliberately causing her agony because of what she’d done; or did I really feel as though it was necessary? Who knows? It’s over with now and it didn’t make any sense to constantly keep bringing the shit up and acting so childishly over it.

  What I needed to know was if she was coming to join her husband in Dallas and if so, when? I had other things to be taking care of besides spending countless hours out o
f the day looking for a house when it’s something she could be doing. Above all, I just needed her and my kids here for my peace of mind.

  Dr. Eppinger gave her final thoughts on our relationship, along with a little advice, and ended the call with us. She made us promise to set up a Skype session with her again within the next couple of weeks so that she could hear what we decided to do. Before Rozalyn hung up, I told her to hold on so that I could talk to her about some business I needed handled while she was out in Miami.

  “How’re the boys doing?” I asked.

  “They’re doing good. The twins are with your mom and, of course, you know Tamarion is holding onto my leg and not letting it go,” she smiled. “Come here Marion. Come say hey to Daddy.”

  “What up boy?” I asked and instantly a sense of calmness came over me.

  My oldest had gotten so big in such a short period of time that it was crazy. Other than the curly hair and skin tone that was his mothers, he was every bit of me. Otherwise, that young nigga was my muthafuckin’ twin. I smirked just thinking how it would only be a matter of time before my seed was walking in my footsteps. Taking over my throne and doing just what Daddy was doing today. It was only right. Why else would God bless me with not one, but three boys?

  “Hey Daddy,” he laughed. “Where you at?”

  “Just chillin’ up in here in this big ol’ room all by myself. Wishing you and your brothers were here with me-and your mama.”

  He laughed again but didn’t say anything. He looked up at his mama before sticking his whole face in the camera.

  “I miss y’all Rozalyn. I need you to be here with me. Whatever it is that we have to do to work this shit out, I’m willing to do it-but whatever it is-Dallas is gonna be home for now.”