by Shan
***
The agents allowed me to wait with Journey until the crime scene investigators and coroner arrived to take her away. They didn’t give a fuck though. For them, they were ready to toss me in a cell and throw away the key. I had never felt so alone in my life.
It wasn’t like before when I was locked up, because then I’d asked everyone to go away and allow me to do my time in peace. Then I knew what to expect; I knew how a prison sentence could end in disappointment, so I did what I could to prevent it from ever happening to me. With family being the farthest thing from my mind, I did my time.
“Man, get that shit outta my face! For the last fuckin’ time I don’t know what you’re talking about! I thought I was supposed to be getting processed and given a fuckin’ number. You niggas on some crazy shit right now!” I huffed.
Ever since they dragged me out of my house three or four hours ago, they put me into this dark ass room and have been questioning me non-stop. The crazy thing about it is it had nothing to do with my charges; the charges that Donald was facing or any of that.
They had all these pictures of Tamar lined up in front of me, along with pictures of people he associated with when he was here in Miami. I was confused as hell, but I wasn’t really paying this shit any mind. I kept going in and out of focus, mainly thinking about what I had lost today and how it all could’ve been prevented.
“Mr. Andrews. We’re offering you a chance to walk away scott-free from your charges. All you have to do is tell us what we need to know about Tamar’s operation. We want to know who his connects are, who all is involved, on which days or day does he pick up his shipments, and where he stores his drugs and his money. If you can help us with all of that, then we can easily delete your name from this petty money laundering case,” one of the agents, whose name was Diggs said.
“I have no idea about none of that,” I answered and puffed on the cancer stick that they’d given to me.
“Do you ever wanna see your daughter again? Because no matter what kind of lawyer you go and get, you’ll still end up doing the minimum of ten years behind bars. By then, your daughter will be too old to fuckin’ care who you are, because her mama would’ve moved some other faggot in and tell her that’s daddy,” the other agent Runnings said.
I shook my head and tried to ignore what they were saying. Larry was capable of getting anybody off. It was why he was paid the big bucks-but damn-- would I be able to afford him seeing as how everything I had saved up was fuckin’ gone? And now that Tamar wasn’t talking to me, I couldn’t ask him to help me out. Shit, he’d already said I was on my own. What the hell am I gonna do?
“Come on, just tell us what you know. Do this for your daughter, do this for her,” Agent Runnings pleaded.
“Okay, okay. What is it you wanna know again?” I asked and fired up another cigarette.
Agent Runnings took out his pen and pad and closely pulled up a seat next to me. “Where does Tamar get the dope from? Let’s start there.”
28 JAMIR
I had done everything possible to try and stop E from going to the police but she was too adamant about seeing to it that justice was served in her brother’s murder. I had hoped this would stay between family, but of course that day my phone was accidentally put on speaker, Black heard all he needed to hear.
It had all gotten back to Tamar.
Now I had to figure out a way to fix this shit or else he would step in. Since then, the police had come through and searched our place, took Justice in for questioning but so far, charges had yet to be filed. I didn’t know what was going to happen but I knew the aftermath wasn’t going to be good.
I didn’t want to see my brother locked up or dead. Also, I didn’t want to lose my girl and not be able to see my child behind this. However, it seemed as if I was going to get all of that.
“You okay?” Passion asked, and reached out for my hand.
“Yeah, I’m good. Just worried about what’s going to happen to Jus,” I said somberly.
“Don’t worry, you said the police didn’t find anything right?”
“Nah, I got rid of the gun back when he first told me about it. I really don’t know if I’m worried about the fuckin’ cops or this nigga Black. I just feel like I need to handle him and Tae before they try to do something to Jus and E.”
“What?” Passion let out a chuckle.
“Tae is going to try to do whatever he gotta do to keep his name from surfacing around this shit. He told me I had a few days to take care of it, but damn if E don’t stop this shit, and if Jus can’t keep his damn mouth shut, then I don’t know. I can’t believe he pretty much admitted to E that he was guilty. How dumb can he be?”
“Yeah, I really didn’t think he would go as far as running his mouth to people. He should’ve known better than that. He’s lived in the hood long enough to know better.”
“Yeah but this is what happens when you get a child to do a man’s job. I knew this wasn’t gonna turn out right. Fuckin’ lose my brother and my damn child all at once. I can’t deal with this shit,” I sighed heavily.
“Don’t worry. Justice is gonna be okay. And eventually, Erica will come around. If you have to go to court and get visitation, then that’s what you gotta do. I got your back Jamir. I’m here for you,” Passion said and kissed my hand.
At this moment, I appreciated her words a whole lot and regretted that I’d been so damn mean to her. I treated her like trash when she wasn’t deserving of it. Passion had always had my back through a whole lot. The least I could do is show her some respect.
No matter how many times I fucked up, mistreated her, dismissed her or whatever-she always had my damn back. She might have pouted, fussed, or even went without talking to me for a certain amount of time, but she was always there. I never had to worry about her judging me either.
Jamir was always Jamir around Passion and she appreciated that and loved me for it. I was starting to think I had been loving the wrong person all this time. Although Passion had her faults, she wasn’t a bad girl. She was down for whatever; she was down for me and what more could one ask for.
I pulled Passion’s hand, kissed it, and thought about some much needed changes that had to be made.
“Aye, I just wanna tell you that I appreciate you for always being there for me and looking out for a nigga when he was down. I know I don’t always show you love like I should, but I got mad love for you Passion,” I expressed.
“I know you do boo. No worries over here. I always got you Jamir.”
Once again, I brought Passion’s hand up to kiss it but was halted when I spotted several police cars lined up and down my block, a couple of ambulances, and a fire truck. Neighbors were outside of their homes being nosey and-“Damn Passion that’s my shit.” I said upon noticing all of the commotion was coming from my townhome.
The police had a wide range blocked off, keeping people from getting too close to the house. The further I got, I was able to notice that something wasn’t right.
“Damn, do you think the police tried to go up in there and get Jus?” Passion asked, sitting all the way forward in the passenger seat.
“I don’t know what the fuck going on but I’m about to find out,” I said and placed the car in park. With Passion right behind me, I quickly jumped out of the car and headed toward my home. She caught up to me, grabbed my arm, and we both tried to go through the yellow tape but were stopped by an officer.
“Stay back please.” The officer said putting his hand on my chest.
“That’s my…” I started but was cut off by Passion.
“That’s E’s car Jamir.” Passion pointed to the street and I noticed E’s car parked right behind a police car.
“Look man, that’s my house! What’s going on?” I yelled becoming impatient and scared at the same time. “Aww man, what’s going on?”
“Sir, I need you to stay behind the tape please.” The officer said and took out a notepad. “What’s your name?”
“Jamir, Jamir Woods. Sir, tell me what’s going on. Is my brother okay?” I asked beginning to get agitated.
“Just a moment. Let me give your information to the officers inside and someone will be out to speak with you. I can’t…”
Upon seeing the paramedics rush out of the house with my little brother laid out on a gurney, I tore through the tape and pushed the officer out of the way. There was blood everywhere and he was lying there practically still.
“Jus! Justice!” I screamed out and tried my hardest to get to him.
The paramedics were working profusely on him as they rolled him toward their awaiting truck. There was an oxygen mask over his face, an IV coming out of his arm, and needles being shot into his chest. “What the fuck? Let me go! That’s my little brother!”
“Sir, stay back! Stay back!” Another officer had grabbed a hold of me and had to damn near tackle me to the ground to keep me from getting to Justice. I fought and fought to get away from him but he wasn’t letting me go.
Tears poured from my eyes as I watched the paramedics close the back of the unit and rush to get inside so that they could drive off.
“Please let me go! I need to be with my brother!” I bellowed. “Let me go!”
I tried harder to get away from the officer. Eventually, another one came over to assist him with restraining me. I began to cry like a baby, broke down unlike ever before. Justice was too much like my child; he was the only blood I had that I actually cared about.
I didn’t speak to my mama and I didn’t know my father. It was just us-just me and Jus.
“Oh my God,” I heard an onlooker say.
I looked up and spotted two police officers coming out of my home with Erica in cuffs. She held her head down in shame, trying to protect her face from being shown to the crowd of onlookers but I knew it was her. She was so bowlegged that there was a huge gap in between one leg from the other.
And her belly-it just stuck out more and more each day. She’d done this. She’d killed Justice.
The officers gave me a few minutes to calm down and told me they wanted to ask me a few questions. I asked them if they would allow me to go to my car to get a cigarette to calm my nerves, then I would answer all the questions they needed. Once I was given the okay, I took off running before anyone could stop me.
This was all Tamar’s fault. If he would’ve stayed the fuck away from my brother influencing him with money and street fame, then none of this would have happened. I just lost my entire family in one fuckin’ night and right now he was the only person that I could see that was responsible for this tragic situation.
Hurriedly, I jumped in my car and backed away and off the street before Passion or the police could stop me. I reached over and pulled my pistol from my glove compartment; prepared to put Tamar down, and if I had to-Black for the pain they’d caused me.
They were supposed to add to my life and not take away from it. They were supposed to help my brother and I rise to the top, not assist with keeping us at the bottom.
“It’s cool. These muthafuckas gonna pay for this shit,” I said and hit a sharp right at the stop sign. “They gonna pay for this shit!!”
29 TAMAR
The moment Rozalyn stepped foot into Dallas, she jumped on the ball, and went house shopping for us. Instead of using Passion to keep the kids for us, she found a nanny service and hired some older Mexican chick to take care of them. I can’t say I blamed her though.
I guess that “woman’s intuition” bullshit was hitting her hard because she just knew that I fucked Passion. She was so damn sure about it that she swore if she saw the girl around me or the kids again, she was beating her ass and then leaving. I wasn’t about to admit to a damn thing and I hoped that Passion was on the same page.
A couple of quick fucks between us wasn’t enough for her to go telling my wife or even Jamir about it. Let’s just hope that hoe would be smart enough to realize it wouldn’t get her anywhere-especially fucking with a nigga like me.
Damn!” I said as I pulled up to the address that Rozalyn text to my phone a few hours ago.
She told me to meet her at this place because she wanted to get my opinion on it before we purchased. I didn't really care though. Of course, I wanted it to be nice but if she liked it, then I was sure I would love it. Besides Rozalyn had a taste for design, it was her passion and looking at the outside of this house-she definitely had a nick for it.
Just pulling up to the iron steel gate, checking out the landscape, and the physical aspects of the exterior of the house-this shit was on point. I pulled around the circular driveway to the front of the residence, parked the car, then got out. I climbed to the top of the stairs and checked out the outside once more.
I'm really feeling this shit. I thought as I walked up to the door prepared to ring the doorbell, but instead it came open. "Whoa!" I looked Rozalyn up and down; instantly, astonished by the fire red lingerie set with the matching candy red pumps. "Shit!" I scratched my head and looked around to ensure I wasn't trippin’. "You coming in or what?" Rozalyn asked placing her hands on her hips. "I've been meaning to ask you-saw you in them lil' wedge things when you first got here, now you got the pumps on. Doctor cool with that?" "I've been taking it easy. Only wearing them for a few hours out the day until I get used to them again. Anyway, I'm standing here looking delicious and you asking me about shoes." Rozalyn grabbed my arm and pulled me into the house.
She shut the door and led me through the inside. I looked above my head noticing the high ceilings that were decorated with some kind of art. The shit was mad nice!
"Baby, I really dig this for real. See, that's why I needed you here ‘cause I knew you would find what we needed." "I'm glad you like it. The asking price is a bit much to me but you a boss; I'm sure you can handle it," Rozalyn giggled. I laughed. "What is the asking price, smart ass?" "Let's not talk about it right now. Let’s enjoy this dinner I made for you, celebrate our re-engagement, and just enjoy this time together." Rozalyn said and pulled me to this cheap little table that sat in the middle of what I perceived to be the dining area.
She had thrown a cloth cover over it, had a few candles lit, and a couple of wine glasses sitting on top of it. I picked up the glass with the dark colored liquid and brought it up to my nose. "Henney in a wine glass, huh? I can fuck with it," I smirked and took a sip of the drink. Rozalyn rolled her eyes and pushed me toward my seat. I took a seat in one of the flimsy chairs and tried my hardest not to laugh. The house was completely empty so I knew she just went and grabbed some shit to make this happen. I had to admire the effort though. "Look, don't be making fun of my little set up. It was last minute and I wanted to make sure you liked it before I ordered new furniture and shit. This was all I was able to find at Walmart,” Rozalyn snapped her neck with a little attitude as she placed a plate in front of me.
A huge smile crept across my face, I sat my drink down, and rubbed my hands together. There was a huge pile of dirty rice, topped with four huge pieces of stuffed shrimp, and a nice helping of jambalaya mixed with smoked sausage.
“Damn ma, you went in. That’s what I’m talking about,” I said and quickly stuffed my face with a fork full of jambalaya. Rozalyn placed a few pieces of cornbread in the middle of the table then took a seat across from me.
We started talking about the plans and ideas she had for the wedding; where we would renew our vows and pretty much make this marriage legit. Being that we didn’t obtain our marriage license from the U.S., the marriage wasn’t recognized as being a legal one.
I had promised Rozalyn before shit got crazy that we would do everything right. Now that we were back on track and making things work, I wanted to make sure we did exactly just that.
“So, I wanted to tell you about what I
wanted to do down here in Dallas-but first let me just say that I went and had the construction done on the shop in Miami…”
“What…”
“Wait, before you get mad just listen,” Rozalyn said and took a bite of her shrimp. “I paid for the work to be done, I also paid for them to add some stuff onto it, and then I purchased the building next door to it.”
“You had that much money sitting around Rozalyn?” I asked pushing my food away. What had started off as a wonderful evening was starting to turn into one that I knew I would be walking out on soon.
“Yeah, I had that much money sitting around. You know I’m not stupid and I’ma keep money sitting around. Don’t go getting all mad and shit before you hear what I got to say.”
“Well say what you got to say because you pissing me the fuck off. Why did you even come here if you gonna…”
“Brian is gonna run the shop in Miami-and the other building I purchased is for the clothing store that I wanted to open with my designs that I’m having done. I don’t know who I’ma get to take that over but I’m sure I can find somebody. I want to do the same thing here in Dallas-open up a shop as well as a store. I want to have a chain of them all over.”
“Damn, you was just saying this morning you were gonna enroll back in school and finish up your damn degree.”
“I’m gonna do that too-the nanny service told me they can help me find a live-in nanny for the boys. They also said I can get someone to come here a few days out of the week to teach the boys since you want them to be homeschooled. If I gotta pay for that, then I will Tae, but please let me do this,” Rozalyn pleaded before taking a sip of her drink.
“It’s not about the money and you know that. I just-shit let me be honest with you. This independence stuff is cool. I mean I love to see a chick doing her own thing, a chick that has her own, and don’t need a nigga for shit. It’s sexy as hell. Just seeing you have your own back when we’d split up gave me a new respect for you, and made me want you in a way that I never have…”