by Shan
“Then, what’s the problem?”
“Well, eventually, a nigga starts feeling like he’s no longer needed. If you don’t need me to provide for you, to take care of you-then what am I good for? You can easily go out and get another nigga right?”
“I don’t want another nigga. Having my own doesn’t have anything to do with me wanting another man. How could you even think that?”
“That’s just how I started to feel back then and hell how I feel now. Can’t help how I feel. That’s why I want you at home taking care of the kids. I want you to need me. But at the end of the day, man, I know you still young as hell and the last thing I wanna do is ruin our relationship behind my insecurity. You just make sure you got everything in order and I’ll be sure to help you with whatever you need me to help you with,” I sighed.
After having that little session with Dr. Eppinger last week and thinking about everything that Rozalyn talked about, I had to admit I was being a little uptight. It was for my own reasons why I didn’t want Rozalyn working and going to school. Sometimes, a man just needed to feel like a man; and I honestly just felt like some of that would be stripped away from me.
At the end of the day, I had to realize if I forced Rozalyn to be a homemaker, due to my own self-centeredness, it would only push her away. Pushing her away was something I had done a lot of in the past and was not something I wanted to do in our future.
“Oh my God! Yes!” Rozalyn ran over to me and jumped into my lap. She began to kiss me all over, and bounce up and down cheering like she’d won the damn lottery or something. “Thank you so much Tae! Oh my God, you just don’t know how happy this is going to make me. And just think in a few years, I’ll be a fuckin’ lawyer and you don’t need to go to nobody else to handle your legal issues. I got you!”
“Oh yeah,” I smirked. “Damn, my wife a criminal defense attorney. I don’t know if I want you defending niggas like that though.”
“Baby, I’ma be a damn good lawyer. Trust me! I am so excited right now!” Rozalyn kissed my lips and slid her tongue into my mouth.
I groped her ass and was about ready to pull her up out of the lingerie until there was the noise of a car pulling into the driveway followed by the sound of a door closing.
“Did you tell anyone we were here?” I asked, becoming a little suspicious.
“No, only the baby sitter.”
Just as the door bell rung, I pulled Rozalyn off of me. I stood up from the chair, checked for my pistol, and realized I had left it in the front seat of the car. “Fuck,” I cursed under my breath and cautiously walked toward the front door.
“Damn, do you hear sirens too?” Rozalyn asked.
“Yea, but I doubt they coming here-I mean, you did get permission to be here right?” I asked and looked back at Rozayln curiously.
“Yea crazy. The agent told me we can stay here tonight and to let her know something in the morning,” she said.
I signaled for her to stay back while I answered the door. Reaching for the door, I pulled it open and swore I was staring into the eyes of a ghost. Before I could even react, I felt the blade of the knife penetrate my skin, and slide deep within. Swiftly, the knife came out, and went right back in.
I grabbed a hold of my stomach and tried to fight him off but he just kept shoving the knife inside of my gut until I could no longer stand. I fell onto my back, and tried to cover the wounds where the blood was profusely gushing from, but it was no use. My life just poured out of me like it was being drained from a well.
He dropped the knife to the floor, pulled out a pistol, and pointed it at me. It was just like I had done him. I guess I fucked up when I walked away and didn’t make sure he was dead. Damn, had it been that long since I killed a nigga that I forgot to make sure he was completely out of it. I thought before I felt myself slipping away.
“Oh my God! Noooooooooo!” I heard Rozalyn yell but it wasn’t long before her screams fell on deaf ears. On my deaf ears.
30 ROZALYN
All I could see was Tamar’s back but not who had been standing on the other side of the door. I couldn’t tell what was going on, but did realize that no one was exchanging words.
Initially, confusion set in, but in a matter of seconds, everything appeared to become clear when Tamar’s body hit the floor and blood shot out of him like a water hose in a garden. My eyes bucked so damn wide and my heart practically stopped beating. I couldn’t believe what was happening before my eyes.
“Oh my God! Noooooooooo!” I screamed in horror as he lifted the gun and pointed it at Tamar. I took off running toward them and dived through the damn air. You would have thought I had wings, the way I flew at him. I knocked him off balance and caused the shot to stray only a few feet away from Tamar’s body.
POW!
POW!
The second shot landed just above Tamar’s head as he back-handed me across my face, causing me to stagger a few feet backwards. He tried to get another shot off but I was too persistent and wasn’t about to let shit go down like that. I swatted at the gun but didn’t hit anything.
POW!
I could hear a slight grunt from Tamar’s body and knew that time he’d been hit. When he brought the gun back up and pointed it in my direction, I began to back away. Shaking my head regretfully, I hated the things I’d done in my past.
“I told you I wasn’t scared of your bitch ass baby daddy! How many times did I have to tell you I would fuck that nigga up? He don’t fucking scare me!” J.B. yelled as he inched further and further in my direction. I continued to back away from him until I tripped up on my heels I had kicked off and went crashing to the floor.
“Did it have to come to this though J.B.? All this over a paternity test,” I tried to argue with him; hopefully reason with him so that he could see he was just being foolish.
“A paternity test? You think I flew all this fucking way, harassed all these people, and followed you two muthafuckas for three days over a damn paternity test. You see what your bitch ass baby daddy did to me!” J.B. pulled up his black shirt showing off a set of bandages that covered his back and chest. “I almost died. My mama had to drag me to the fuckin’ hospital while crying and praying over me because of this jealous ass nigga!”
I shook my head, unaware that Tamar had done this to him. After the results had come back, I was surprised when I didn’t hear from J.B., but figured it was because he accepted the truth and was going to move on without further cause.
I had no idea that this had occurred between the two of them and wished like hell I could do something to fix it. Fix it before it had gotten to this point. Fixed it before my husband was lying in the middle of the floor in his own blood, in what was supposed to be our new home. Where we were to start a new life together.
“I’m sorry J.B. I had no idea. Please don’t do this. You know I have kids,” I tried pleading with him but he just kept coming at me.
“Fuck you and your kids!” he bolted. I just closed my eyes and waited for what I knew was to come.
“Freeze! Drop the weapon!”
I shook my head and my eyes flew open. Suddenly, the room was swarming with Dallas DEA agents holding onto sniper rifles which were all pointed at J.B.’s head. I heard the sirens but never thought they would be coming here. What were they doing here? Who were they looking for? Had they followed J.B.? They can’t be looking for Tamar because no one knew we were here. Or wait, did the Nanny tell them where we would be? Oh shit, where are my kids? Are my fuckin’ kids okay?
“Drop the fuckin’ weapon now or we shoot!” another agent yelled.
I tried to stand up to my feet feeling as though I was safe now that they were here. I needed to get over there to my husband.
“Drop it now!”
J.B. held the pistol high above his head but never took his eyes away from me. Without so much as a word escaping his lips, his
eyes said a lot. I breathed heavily and watched as he was tackled by the DEA agents, unarmed, and handcuffed.
“Tamar!” I shot up to my feet and raced in his direction. Kneeling down beside him, I took his hand into mine. "Tamar!"
"Ma'am you need to come with us," one of the agents said as he tapped my shoulder.
"Somebody needs to help him! Help him, damn it!"
One of the agents grabbed me underneath both my arms and pulled me up from the floor. I began to kick and scream for him to put me down but then…
"Help him! He just moved his head! He just looked at me! Help him!" I screamed out but no one seemed to pay any attention to me or my dying husband. I still couldn’t figure out how they knew we were here or why they were here.
Somebody, somewhere had done some snitching and if my baby made it through this shit, he was gonna fuck something up. Just wait and see.
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