by Jodi Thomas
‘‘What are you doing out here? You could have gotten hurt stumbling through this place in the dark.’’ As always his voice was low, angry.
‘‘I came to look for you.’’ Kora raised her head, trying to see his face, but the shadows made it impossible.
‘‘Why?’’ he asked. ‘‘You seemed to be having a grand time with the doc.’’
‘‘I was.’’ Kora pulled an inch away. ‘‘He’s becoming a great friend.’’
She felt his body stiffen, but Win didn’t say a word.
‘‘He was waiting for his buggy. Wyatt and Jamie took it for a little ride after supper.’’ Kora wasn’t sure why she was explaining. Gage sitting in her kitchen didn’t seem anything unusual. And everyone, including Kora, had given up on trying to discourage Jamie from her rides with the gambler.
Winter was silent for so long, she didn’t know if he was going to say anything. Finally he let out a long breath. ‘‘I never heard you laugh like that.’’
In the darkness Kora felt like a light flashed on in her mind. Suddenly she knew what she’d never thought to guess. Win was jealous.
The knowledge made her feel powerful and cherished for the first time in her life. He wasn’t angry about the ranch, or at anyone.
It was time to put her shyness aside. The darkness became her ally, allowing her to do what she might never do in the light. She’d been the outsider, looking in all her life, and she couldn’t stand the thought that Win felt like that now.
She slid her fingers down his arm and closed her hand around his. ‘‘We need to talk,’’ she whispered as she led him the few feet to a fallen tree trunk.
Win was silent, but she could feel his body tensing for a fight.
‘‘Sit,’’ she ordered as she put her hands on his shoulders.
Slowly he lowered to the log. Now she was almost a head taller than him. Kora moved between his knees, trapping him. She pulled off his hat and laid it beside him.
‘‘Steven is a friend, but you are my husband. That night we talked on the porch, the morning you washed my hair, when I rode with you-all those were times I let you closer than I’ve ever allowed another person. And I did it not because I signed some paper and made an agreement for six months, but because I wanted to.’’
Kora rested her hands on his shoulders. ‘‘I could never feel about him the way I feel about you.’’ How could she explain that laughter was shallow compared to the way Winter made her whole body react just by being in the same room? Could he really have been so close and not know what he did to her? ‘‘I did those things and more. Every night I kiss you when you’re asleep. Not because I’m playing the part of your wife, but because I want you.’’ Kora surprised herself with her boldness.
She lowered her lips to his and lightly kissed him. He pulled away at the unexpected act, so she repeated her action more slowly.
‘‘And you,’’ she whispered against his mouth, ‘‘want me.’’
He returned her kiss, but didn’t respond otherwise, leaving Kora to wonder if she’d been wrong. He was the first man she’d ever wanted to touch her. Could it be possible that he didn’t feel the same?
Moving her fingers into his hair, Kora held his head in her hands as she lowered her lips once more for a longer kiss. She had to make him believe how much his nearness meant to her. She didn’t want him to feel like an outsider any longer.
When she straightened, he moaned slightly, but didn’t reach for her.
‘‘You know I was never in mourning, but I still needed time. But since that night you held me all the way back from the settlement, I thought you’d come up to our room if only to sleep beside me. It’s the way of husbands and wives. But you haven’t.’’
‘‘I was waiting to be invited.’’ Winter moved his hands gently around her waist. ‘‘Is that what you’re offering now?’’
‘‘You’re my husband, if only for a while,’’ she whispered against his hair. ‘‘You don’t need an invitation to your own bedroom. How can I get used to you if I only see you a few minutes at breakfast each morning? If you don’t climb the stairs, how would we ever find a minute alone together?’’
‘‘I have a lot on my mind.’’ Win moved his hands along her sides. ‘‘Though I’m having trouble remembering any of it at the moment.’’
Kora moved closer until his head rested against her chest. ‘‘We don’t need much time, only a little to get to know each other.’’
She knew she was being bold. He might shove her away and think her foolish. Except for a few times when he’d kissed her, Win had shown little interest in wanting her. But she’d seen the way he looked at her and was willing to bet a desire was building in him as it had been in her since that first night.
Running her fingers deep into his hair, she tugged until he leaned his head back. She kissed him lightly on his mouth and stepped a few inches away. ‘‘I’m not sure how this works since my first husband was dead on arrival, but I think I want you to touch me.’’
Win couldn’t believe what she was saying. This shy mouse of a woman he’d married was starting to roar. ‘‘Where?’’ he asked.
‘‘All over,’’ she answered. ‘‘I’ll not undress outside my bedroom, but I’d like not to jump when you touch me. So I think it would be a good place to start if you put your hands on me.’’ She swallowed. ‘‘Anywhere you like.’’
Placing her fingers on his shoulders, she straightened in front of him. ‘‘Isn’t that how people who want to know each other better start getting used to each other?’’
Win laughed. ‘‘Not in any civilization I know of. But I’m not about to ask Logan or argue with your plan. Are you sure you want me to touch you, really touch you?’’
Kora lifted her chin. ‘‘Yes.’’
‘‘Why?’’ he whispered as his large hands moved to her waist.
‘‘Because…’’ She swallowed. How could she put it into words? She admired him more than she had any man. Not because he owned this ranch, or was strong and honest. Not because he’d stayed with their bargain when any other man would have thrown her out. Not because, despite all his armor, he was as lonely as she. She wanted him to touch her because he made her feel like she belonged in the circle of his arms. He was gentle and kind and tender beyond anything she’d ever dreamed a man could be. ‘‘When I’m gone,’’ she whispered, ‘‘I want to remember your touch.’’
For a long while he didn’t move. Kora could feel her heart trying to break through her chest, but she couldn’t say more. She’d made the offer; now she’d wait.
Finally he raised his hand to her throat. Slowly he moved his fingers over the material of her cotton blouse. She could feel him hesitate as if he thought she might pull away. But she didn’t move.
His hands glided along her arms, then to her waist. The layers of material kept her from feeling the warmth of his touch as his fingers moved lower over her hips. Then slowly he slid his hands back to her middle and up until he passed over her breasts. The action was slow, calculated, almost impersonal.
He repeated the action.
Kora let out a sound as she felt the weight of his palms over her breasts. The cotton barred his warmth. She hoped he couldn’t feel her trembling, but she wanted to grow accustomed to his touch… anywhere on her body. It seemed only reasonable if she was planning to sleep beside him. And sleep with him she would before she left for California. Jamie might be destined to have many lovers in her life, but Kora would have only one. This one.
But the feel of a man’s hand was something she never thought she’d experience. For some reason fate had given her this one good chance, and she planned to play it out.
‘‘Again, please,’’ she whispered, knowing that in the years to come she’d need this memory.
‘‘Are you sure, Kora?’’
‘‘I’m sure,’’ she answered. ‘‘Move your hands over me once more.’’ She thought she’d find the action unpleasant, but she didn’t in the least.
&nb
sp; He slid his hands into her hair and pulled the strands free of pins. He watched her hair fall, then brushed over it lightly as it fell over her shoulders and back.
‘‘More?’’ he questioned, his voice now very low.
‘‘Please,’’ she answered.
With a sudden impatience he pulled her mouth down to his. The kiss was warm, hungry. He pushed her mouth open and tasted her, shocking her with his boldness.
When she shook with near panic, he held her head with one hand and stroked her back with the other. But he didn’t lighten the kiss. He seemed starved for the taste of her, and now that she offered, no reins would be pulled. He was free to let her see just how deeply he longed to touch her.
As she finally relaxed and accepted his kiss, he moved his hand through her hair, gently turning her head to fill his desire. The strokes along her back grew longer until he covered her hips with each passing. When his hands formed over her hips, his kiss grew bold and fiery with need, taking his pleasure, giving her a hunger for more.
Kora felt herself shake with sudden passion. She’d never dreamed a kiss could be so consuming. He moved his fingers along her jaw and tugged her mouth open wider. The more he tasted, the more his longing seemed to grow.
Bracing herself against his shoulders, she took the full wave of his desire, feeling as though she were swimming in fire.
He was all she’d ever know of passion. And all she ever wanted. When she’d begged to be touched, she had no idea that his touch, or his kiss, could be so complete.
‘‘More,’’ she whispered, suddenly wanting to know how deep this well of passion in him was.
He didn’t answer with words, but with action.
For a while she was so lost in the kiss that she didn’t feel his hands caressing her body once more. Warming her though the layers. They grew bolder, more sure of their path, as his fingers gently slid over the worn cotton of her dress.
She whispered his name within the kiss as he pulled her hard against him. The smell of leather and dust and Winter surrounded her. She could feel his need for her even through their clothing. His strong hands rocked her against him as his mouth devoured her. She could taste the passion and longing he had for her, and the knowledge excited her even more. This strong powerful man filled with so much passion had waited to be invited.
When he ended the kiss suddenly, Kora leaned back, drinking in air. Her mind was whirling, and a fever seemed to be pulsing though her, making her feel more alive than she’d ever felt.
‘‘Is that what you wanted?’’
‘‘Yes,’’ she answered, suddenly realizing it was far more than she even thought to want. ‘‘And you?’’
‘‘No,’’ he whispered. ‘‘I need more.’’
‘‘The invitation’s open,’’ she whispered.
He pulled her back to him, only now he buried his face between her breasts. His hands ventured up her sides, pressing her mounds against his face, seeming to need to feel her with more than just his hands.
When she sighed in pleasure, he raised his head in question.
A slow smile spread across his face as their eyes met.
Without a word he kissed her again. Now she leaned into him as his mouth moved softly over her tender lips and his hands slowly opened and closed around her breasts. His passionate kisses before had made her mouth feel raw, sensitive so that now even the light kisses were wildly felt. He gently pulled her bottom lip into his mouth and tasted it, and she knew she would deny this man nothing.
His hands crossed over her as if they’d always had the right to do so. His tongue touched the corner of her mouth until she smiled, opening her lips to his kiss. And kiss her he did, soft and hard, gentle and rough, fast and slow.
Finally he turned her in his embrace and wrapped his arms around her while pulling her full length against him.
‘‘Are you accustomed to my touch now?’’ he whispered into her hair.
Kora couldn’t answer. Nothing had ever prepared her for how he’d touched her. Nothing had prepared her for how she’d reacted. When she’d asked him to touch her, she’d expected a light brushing of his fingers over her, maybe an embrace, but nothing like what he’d done to her.
‘‘I’m trying to go slow, but God, woman, your body’s not making it easy.’’ He ran his hand along her side. ‘‘All day I tell myself I’ve got other things to think about, but I keep remembering the way you move and wishing I could touch you. Then, tonight, you walk up and ask me to do the very thing I’ve been wanting to do every hour I’ve been with you since we met.’’
He moved one hand low, over her tummy and down. She arched her back against his shoulder as she felt his hand press hard through the layers. Panic flooded her mind once more. He was touching her where no one had ever dared. Covering his hand with her own, she tried to pull his fingers away. But his strength didn’t seem to feel her action as he stroked boldly.
His teeth bit gently into the flesh of her neck as his fingers explored. She pressed against his hand, suddenly needing his touch. Her back shifted against his shoulder as his hand roamed freely over her, dipping again and again between her legs. Each time his actions grew bolder, stronger. Her reaction matched his. She heard herself let out little sighs as his warm mouth moved along the pulsing in her throat.
He twisted his hand into her hair and pulled her around once more to face him. This time when his mouth found hers, his kiss was light. ‘‘Don’t pull away from me, Kora,’’ he whispered. ‘‘I need you so desperately.’’
‘‘I won’t,’’ she answered, knowing that her fear was of the unknown and not of him. ‘‘Touch me, taste me all you like.’’
Hesitantly she spread her hands over his shirt. The rock wall of his chest was there as always, but she could feel the heat of him through the material. As she kissed him, she glided her hands along his chest to his belt and then back up.
As her hands passed over his chest, his kisses deepened. Suddenly he stood, pulling her off the ground in his embrace, and kissed her wildly as his arms tightened around her.
Kora couldn’t breathe. She tried to break the kiss, then her hands turned from touching to pushing. Finally, in panic, she slammed her fist into his chest as hard as she could.
Win broke the kiss immediately and lowered her to the ground. For a moment he didn’t want to let go, but Kora pushed free.
‘‘Stop!’’ Her voice was shaking as she took in quick breaths. ‘‘You were holding me too tightly. You were hurting me.’’
Winter turned away and slammed his fist so hard against the tree trunk that a shower of blossoms fell around her like huge snowflakes. He swore in his low voice.
Kora felt as if she’d been on a runaway train. Her emotions were raw, out of control for the first time in her life. She lowered to the ground as silently as the flowers had fallen. The solid earth felt good as she leaned back, her body drained of all energy.
After a long silence Winter looked over his shoulder. For a moment he thought she’d vanished as quickly as she’d appeared tonight. Then he saw her lying on the ground with tiny flowers all around her. Her hair was wild and he thought she looked like something not quite of this earth. Maybe an angel, or a fairy.
All the anger left him as it always did when he looked at her. Logan had been wrong about her being invisible; she was magic. She was all he could see, even when he closed his eyes.
He knelt beside her and gently lifted her. For a moment she didn’t open her eyes, and a fear stabbed at him that he might have really hurt her by holding too tightly.
‘‘Kora?’’ he asked as he moved the long golden strands away from her face.
She opened her eyes and surprised him with a smile. ‘‘I’m sorry,’’ she whispered. ‘‘I was afraid I couldn’t breathe. I panicked. I pulled away when I said I wouldn’t.’’
‘‘No…’’ Winter couldn’t believe she was the one apologizing. ‘‘My hold is too strong. I’ll have to learn to be careful. Dear God, I’d never w
ant to hurt you.’’
He leaned back against the tree trunk and gathered her gently against his chest. ‘‘This is no justification for what I did, but there’s never been anything soft in my life. I don’t know much about women, and the women I’ve known have been hard and fast. I’ve seen men lightly holding a woman’s arm, or gently patting her hand like it might break at any moment, but I never considered myself one of those dandies. Everything I’ve ever wanted in this world I’ve had to fight for to win and to hold. Nothing’s ever come easy to me except finding you to marry.’’
‘‘But you didn’t want me when you offered marriage.’’ Kora rested her head against his chest, listening to the steady pounding of his heart. ‘‘Not the way you did tonight.’’
‘‘I didn’t want a wife and I fought it as long as I could. But I wouldn’t give up the house, so I married. At first I told myself we’d made a fair bargain, nothing more, and I could forget you were there. But I was wrong. Every time I see you, I’ve had to fight a stronger urge to reach for you.’’
He lifted her shoulders so that she faced him only an inch away. ‘‘I want you, Kora. I want you like I never wanted anyone in my life. Not just to touch, but to hold all night long.’’
‘‘I want you, too,’’ she answered honestly. ‘‘But you don’t have to hold so tightly. I’ll try not to pull away again.’’
EIGHTEEN
KORA MOVED AS SILENTLY AS SHE COULD UP THE stairs to the attic. She sensed Winter following a step behind. The soft jingle of his spurs echoed his movements. Everyone in the house, Cheyenne, the two wounded cowhands, Jamie, and Dan, was asleep, and Kora was surprised the rapid pounding of her heart didn’t wake them all. She couldn’t believe that she was about to sleep with a man. And not just any man-Winter McQuillen. He was big and powerful and frightening when he roared. He only knew one speed, full gallop, when he wanted something, and tonight, he wanted her.
But that wasn’t the reason she was interested. The fact he owned the ranch didn’t matter. Or that he wielded more power with his low voice than most men did with a yell. Even the knowledge that he was her husband hadn’t been her motivation.