My mouth opened with my readiness to deny it, but her words pierced through me with their barbed truth. I snapped it shut.
Her look was knowing. “At any rate, this will all be better soon. I vow it. So long as you do what you must.”
“And that is?”
Harpy spread her arms. “Stop fighting this, Galeta. Let it be. Accept your past for what it was, and move on.”
That was easy to say. But my past was an awful, murky, and bloody place. I had hurt anyone who’d ever tried to get close to me; maybe I didn’t have the right to hope for anything better than to bear this pain for the rest of my days.
“But my past is ugly. It’s terrible. I can’t forget, and it pierces me like a blade every time I’m forced to endure it.”
A feather fluttered to the ground when Harpy shrugged her trim shoulders. “That’s life, girl. Don’t you get it? None of us are all good all the time. Do not place Syrith on a pedestal. Open yourself to him. He’s no better than you or I.”
I sniffed again, wiping at my nose, which I knew was now a bright shade of cherry red. “I know that’s not true. Everyone’s better than me. I shut off that vision before Syrith could see the rest of it. My words against Rumpel’s son hadn’t merely been talk. I did not want Syrith to see me like that.”
Her eyes turned sad. And neither of us spoke for several moments. But finally, she said, “Then perhaps do something different tonight. Do not worry about yourself and your past. Learn about his. Discover that you two have more in common than you might imagine.”
“I honestly can’t see how that’s possible.”
“He returns in but a moment. And I will leave you, but I had to meet you, fairy. I had to see you and you see me.”
“Why?”
Harpy’s lashes fluttered, and she lost another downy feather as her wings fluttered prettily behind her. “I like you, Galeta. And I hope that you’ll know you have a friend. Though you may not know me, I know you. And I’ve always been rooting for you. Though I do have one question. Just one. And I hope you would answer me honestly. May I ask it?”
Her words were so timid that it moved me. I sniffed, wiping at my nose, and nodded. “Yes, Harpy. You may ask.”
“Does it hurt? The darkness? Does it hurt you?”
I didn’t want to answer. The question was far more personal than any stranger deserved to ask, and yet I knew I had to answer her. The way her eyes were so big and curious in her face, how gentle she seemed, and how her voice shook. That question hadn’t been an easy one for her.
“More than you could possibly know. I would never wish this kind of pain upon my worst enemy.”
She shuddered, and her lashes fluttered like wings upon her cheeks. “Thank you, fae.”
“Galeta! Please come out now!”
I froze at the sound of Syrith’s deep treble. Twirling, I stared at the door. Feeling terrified of everything and yet also steadied by the strange woman’s words. Looking back to where Harpy had been, all I saw were two lonely feathers lying on the floor.
Smiling softly, I muttered to myself, “Trust him. Trust him, Galeta. You can do that. You can do this.”
Using my magic to transform to human size, I squared my shoulders and forced myself to march out of the safety of the room.
~*~
Syrith
I was already staring at the door when it finally opened.
My heart leapt at the sight of her. Her eyes were bloodshot, and her wings appeared nearly wilted behind her. Even her hair seemed far more limp, now barely even showing a trace of curl to it. And the color was far paler than ever.
Now I could no longer even call it blue. More like an ivory, white with hints of gold.
Galeta gripped the doorframe so tight, her knuckles whitened, and she reminded me of a terrified rabbit the way she stood so still, barely even daring to draw breath as she held my steady gaze.
Her mouth parted just slightly on an inhalation, and I tipped my chin forward, waiting on her to speak. But then she shut her lips and gave a tiny shake.
“No,” I said. “Say whatever it was you were about to say.”
I was physically exhausted and mentally drained. I didn’t want to try and guess anymore what was going through her mind. I simply wanted Galeta to be honest with me no matter where the truth led.
Licking her top lip, she took several deep breaths before saying, “I feared you’d left for good this time, Syrith.”
Her words were reticent and soft. As though she was forcing herself to speak. After all the progress we’d made, I hated knowing we were back to this. I’d been prepared to fight, to tackle the door down if need be, but now that she was out here, I was almost too exhausted to keep on my feet.
Taking the few lumbering steps back toward the couch, I settled onto it with a plop. “I said I would not leave you, fae, and I meant it.”
Dropping my head into my hands, I closed my eyes. I’d hoped after what I’d seen above that the world down here might have transformed again, might be different. But it was still gray, still depressively gloomy.
I didn’t hear her approach until her small hands landed on my knees and she gave them a tiny squeeze.
“Prince,” she said softly, “look at me.”
Unable to resist her when she lowered her walls between us, I did look and saw something in her eyes that caused my heart to swell.
Hope reflected back at me.
“All I ask,” she said softly, “is that you try not to judge me too harshly for how I react. My past isn’t pretty, and it shames me. But I do not wish to fight with you. You and I are connected somehow in this strange realm, and—”
Galeta had no idea how weak I was today. After the softness shown me by the clone and the way she’d fought... Her words to me now, they tore down my own defenses, and without thinking, I tipped her chin up with my forefinger and swooped in.
Not giving either of us time to think.
She gave a tiny gasp but didn’t pull back. And then my lips found hers, and I pressed down tight. Softly, gently caressing her mouth with my own. Tasting, nipping at, and learning her, imprinting her all over me.
I knew what I was doing. I was jumping into this with eyes wide open. I was letting her in too. For so long, I’d shielded my heart, built defenses around me, letting no one in. Determined to forever be alone, consumed by my unrequited love.
This step I took now, it was dangerous for me. For her. For us. We were both walking a fine line, and though I knew how ill advised this was, I was helpless to control my feelings.
Galeta squirmed, dropping several breathy moans and enflaming my own passions.
I’d not felt this discombobulated in a long, long time. I wanted the fairy. Wanted her lying nude beneath me as I worshipped and feasted on her body. As I made love to her and bound her as irrevocably to me as I already was to her.
But not like this. Not now. Not after all the pain and hurt she’d suffered. All Galeta knew was pain, hate, and duplicity. I would rather die alone than ever have her believe I was no different from everyone else in her life.
As painful as it was, I finally broke the kiss. But I couldn’t pull back completely. My hands had tenderly cupped her shoulders as my thumbs stroked her petal-soft flesh. Her eyes were wide and lips swollen.
“Syrith.” She breathed my name like a prayer.
My lips twitched, and my heart swelled.
She swallowed hard, letting me see her vulnerabilities. Letting me in. And it humbled me to know that she’d likely never done so with another in her life.
My fairy was a prickly pear. Tough and sharp on the outside, but inside, she was sweet and fragile.
It had bothered me this morning, knowing the depths of her darkness, but now I felt honored to know that with me at least, she was willing to be exposed. Her nails curved into my pants.
“Spend the day with me.” Her words were shy.
“You won’t lock yourself back in that room? Galeta, perhaps I shouldn’t
say this so soon, but—”
She pressed a finger to my lips, silencing my words. My heart twisted painfully within me.
“Then whatever it is, don’t say it. Let us only live in this moment. I am tired, my beast, and wish only to spend the day with you. Inside these walls, where it is safe.” She gave me a weak smile, as if begging my forgiveness for her rudeness.
I hadn’t been about to profess my undying love to her, because I wasn’t even certain that was what this was. All I knew was I felt far deeper for Galeta than I had even my beloved Seraphina.
Mother had always told me that in Kingdom, the very truest kind of love was a magic all its own. I’d never believed her. I’d loved Seraphina, and still, she’d killed herself.
But my feelings for my old lover were but a drop in the bucket compared to the all-encompassing sensations sweeping through me when I thought of my fairy.
“Lead me, fae, and I will follow.”
Chapter 16: In Which a Powerful Truth Is Revealed
Galeta
We’d been talking the past hour. Me still kneeling before him, and Syrith staring down at me with his perpetual smile.
I was awed by my Prince.
Awed that he genuinely seemed to care for me. True, we hadn’t known one another long, but I’d seen the gleam of kinship aplenty in my time as headmistress in Kingdom.
There were souls that, upon first meeting, simply clicked. As though they’d been fashioned one for another.
Not always lovers. Sometimes the best of friends. But there was an immediate soul bond, and I felt that now. With him.
Anything I said, he smiled, or laughed, or chuckled, or nodded politely. Telling me that he truly was listening to everything I said. The old me might have been jaded, wondering what it was he wanted.
Except for the fact that I also did the same with him.
He fascinated me, my Syrith. My cheeks hurt from smiling so often. And I didn’t think I’d laughed more in my life than I had the past hour.
His silly stories of Wonderland. His exploits growing up with the Hatter and Cheshire. Learning how to handle his gifts.
“Mother always did hate when I’d meet up with that mangy cat, as she’d say.” He winked, and the region of my heart melted just a little bit further.
“You were a bad boy, Prince. I rather think I might have liked you.”
He snorted. “Cheshire taught me many forms. He can shift also, just not like me. Did you know he has a human form?”
I raised my brows at that. No, I hadn’t known the cat had a male form. Made me wonder whether he’d been cat or man first.
“Hm.” I chuckled softly. “So if you aren’t merely just a dragon”—I waved a hand down his body—“or a man, what is your true form? I confess I haven’t come across shifters such as you often in my long life.”
The sparkle in his blue-green eyes suddenly burst, and his body went rigid. I knew somehow I’d asked something that was a sore subject for him.
I frowned, pulling back into myself almost immediately. I’d grown careless and comfortable with him, laughing and talking and imagining that we were at the point where he’d share such intimate details with me.
What a fool I’d been.
“I’m sorry,” I stuttered.
Grabbing one of my hands, he yanked it toward him. Opening my palm and placing it tight over his chest, holding me fast and shaking his head. The strength of his body felt like corded steel beneath my hand, and I trembled.
“Do not shut me out, fae. I will not allow it. Not anymore.”
His words were quiet but also resonant.
I blinked and confessed, “The truth is, Syrith, I’m badly out of the practice of knowing how to interact with others. I’ve always simply told them what to do. There was no friendly banter or back and forth between us. I am trying, but—”
The touch of his knuckles upon my cheeks was featherlight and made my lashes flicker.
“And you are doing a great job of it. I’ve never been so thoroughly amused as I have this past hour. But your question touched on a matter very painful for me. And one I’ve rarely shared with others.”
I frowned, intensely curious but also willing to give him his privacy. “I will not push you, Syrith. I did not know. My apologies.”
He shook his head, rejecting my apology. “No, you’re correct. You did not know. How could I blame you for asking what seems like a simple and straightforward question? I can’t.”
His eyes grew distant as he looked at the wall over my shoulder. I could practically read the memories scrolling past his mind’s eye. If I really wanted to, I could pluck those memories straight from him. Few knew just how powerful I truly was.
Within the very tip of my finger rested life and death. I could have crushed Kingdom beneath my wee palm if I’d really wanted to.
That thought made me realize that though a part of me really was evil, another side, buried so deeply I rarely felt it anymore, had tried at least to keep me grounded.
It was a revelation I’d not expected. There’d always been a war inside me, one I thought the darkness had always won, but what if there was actually more to me? What if I hadn’t been born to be this...thing? What if I’d been born to be more?
Something inside of me fluttered, and warmth began to spread through my bones. My brows twitched. Was that even possible?
“Her name was Seraphina.”
Syrith’s deep timbre cut through my epiphany, causing me to shake my head and scatter the strange thoughts like marbles.
“What? Who was Seraphina?”
Leaning his head back on the couch, he stared up at the ceiling. Exposing the long line of his thick neck and the bulge of his Adam’s apple. It rolled with his swallow, and I was absurdly mesmerized by the flex and pull of the tendons in his throat. The light dusting of bristles upon his flesh.
Syrith was a potent male, and in the quiet of my mind, I was willing to admit that he drew me in more and more.
“Come up here and sit beside me, fairy. If I must tell this tale, then I wish to feel your body pressed against mine.”
My brows shot up to my hairline. I’d never asked him to speak of his past. And yet I was more than willing to listen if it meant I got to sit closer to him. Hopping quickly to my feet, I sat beside him. Tucking my feet beneath me and resting my thigh against his.
The transference of his heat through me was immediate and sparked through my blood like lightning.
I sucked in a deep, shuddery breath as my insides rioted and my nerves strung tight.
Casual as could be, Syrith draped his arm across my shoulder. The comforting weight of him, his scent, and his nearness—it made me feel weak and tingly everywhere.
Was this love that I felt? Was this the power I saw in others? Was this feeling of being infinitely bigger than oneself what I’d destroyed with my careless and unrepentant evils?
I trembled, swallowing hard as a thick knot banded around my soul. I was beginning to understand in a way I never could before just what I’d destroyed, and it wounded me.
His fingers brushed deliciously against my skin, breaking me out in a wash of goose pimples. Feeling both brave and weak, I placed my hand upon his upper thigh.
His muscle bunched tightly, and I wasn’t sure whether that meant he liked it or not. I went to move, but he said, “Don’t. Leave your hand there. Your touch soothes me.”
Biting onto my lower lip, I nodded weakly, feeling suddenly sick to my stomach. But not because I was ill.
I felt very odd right now. Weak and fluttery but also strangely mighty. I curled my fingers into his pants, and he trembled beside me.
At first my posture was tense, uneasy. But after several moments, I began to relax. Giving him most of my weight as I leaned further into his side.
And then my head leaned against his shoulder, and Syrith kissed the crown of my forehead. I smiled.
“I loved her for years. We’d been betrothed as children,” he began slowly.
> My heart clenched when I heard him admit to loving another, but I was no fool. A man such as Syrith couldn’t have remained alone long. He was too beautiful. Too kind.
“What happened?” I asked gently.
His nose began to track through my hair as he inhaled. And I nearly squeaked at the intimate touch, but I liked it too. It made my body burn and caused things between my legs to tighten and throb.
Good gods above, had I really just confessed to a throbbing? I almost groaned at that stupid thought. I’d once heard a maiden confess to such. I’d cursed her to celibacy after that, laughing through my nose at the absurd notion of throbbing anything.
I wondered what had happened to that maiden. I’d not even known her. I’d simply cursed her and flown on about my business. Never giving her another thought. With a heartfelt sigh, I fluttered my fingers over my gown that was no longer built of ice, but now of spider silk.
Maybe if I ever escaped this prison, I’d find her again. Fix her. I sighed.
But Syrith didn’t seem to notice my sudden depressive mood. His gaze was unfocused and stuck in the past.
“Seraphina was all I’d ever wanted. We’d grown up in neighboring realms, but our fathers were both Kings, and we didn’t often get to meet up. But when we did, we spent all our time together. When we were children, I loved nothing more than to play by her side and explore the wilds of Wonderland. As a man, I would steal her away to woo and romance her. She was my everything. And I knew as surely as the sun would rise the next morning that Seraphina was all I’d ever want.”
My body stiffened up again. It wasn’t that I wanted him to stop telling me of his past, but I’d be a liar if I said hearing this was any fun for me.
To imagine Syrith touching another. Kissing her as he did me. Doing other things. It killed a part of me to think there’d ever been another. There’d been a first that hadn’t been me.
Of course, I knew he and I were nothing now. We merely shared a few kisses now and again. It’d been rare, but I’d done so with a few others in my life. More curious than anything. None of it leaving a lasting impression upon me. In fact, I’d once bedded Rumpel to satisfy that same sense of curiosity. It’d done nothing for me, and I’d never thought of bedding another since.
The Fairy Queen (The Dark Queens Book 6) Page 16