But the slightest touch of his hand to mine, and it completely undid me. Made me feel weak and strong.
He turned my chin toward him. “Look at me, Galeta.”
I did, fighting a ball of tears gathering in my throat. What a stupid woman I was.
“I will never be anything but honest with you. It is a vow sealed in truth between us. But she was a part of my past.”
“Past? As in no longer?”
I didn’t believe he was still with the female, but even now I heard the love in his voice when he spoke of her.
“No.” He shook his head. “Seraphina died three years past.”
I sucked in a sharp breath. So not only had he loved her, but she’d passed. I would forever battle the ghost of his first love. Not that it should be a contest, but that was a wretched position to be in.
My lips thinned. I felt crushed by his words even as I also felt stupidly relieved by them. I hated myself for feeling this, but I didn’t know how to stop it either.
“She killed herself because of me, fae,” he whispered brokenly.
“What?” My head snapped up. I hadn’t expected that at all.
That hurt that would sometimes flash through his gaze was back now, burning intently and making me want to take that pain away from him, want nothing more than to erase a past that seemed such a torment to him now. I was crushed by his obvious hurt. My heart beat hard in my chest. My stomach hurt. For him.
I wanted to ask him why. Wanted desperately to know all the sordid details. But after how he’d reacted when I’d asked him about his true form, I knew that truth and this story were somehow intertwined.
Syrith had used many forms around me. But I’d never sensed any of them to be his true one. Not even the one he wore now. The one he seemed most comfortable in.
Grabbing his free hand, I brought his knuckles to my lips and kissed them. Rubbed my thumbs across his calloused hand. His breathing suddenly turned erratic, and I felt his hot eyes drilling into me.
Tilting my face, I rubbed my cheek across his knuckles like a kitten and breathed, “It’s okay, Syrith. You don’t have to tell me. I won’t judge you for it.”
The hand he’d casually draped across my shoulder moved to the sensitive tip of my wing, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
“You asked me who I really was, Galeta,” he said deeply. “I showed her. One night, beneath the bloodred moon. I showed her who I truly was. The next morning, she was found dead. Leaving behind only a note that read—”
“Ssh.” I shook my head. “Don’t speak it.”
His thick brows twitched. “Don’t you want to know?”
“No.” I stood on my knees, looking him deep in his eyes. “No, I don’t. Because there are some things in life that aren’t worth revisiting. She hurt you, Syrith. Don’t let her keep doing that.”
He was quiet for a moment. “Aren’t you curious? If it were you, I would be.”
My grin was weak, but my words were strong. “Of course I’m curious, but not at your expense. Digging up the past, it brings the demons out with it. What’s the point, beast? Sometimes in life you simply have to accept what was and let it go.”
He stilled. “Have you?”
I knew what he was asking. And he knew that answer. But I answered him anyway. “No, I haven’t. And so I lock myself away in that room, dying inside, because these memories wound me. I cannot change who I was. But I can change who I want to be. The Blue was a terrible person.” I framed his beloved face in my palms, squeezing gently. “But you don’t make me feel like her. You make me want to be a better version of me. Someone I know exists, but I’ve buried so deep, I’d forgotten she was ever even there. I don’t know what Seraphina told you, Syrith, but it doesn’t matter to me. All I know is that when I see you, I feel whole again. You did that, and no matter what your true form might be, I will never forget it.”
I stilled, realizing just how much of myself I’d stripped bare before him. But I’d needed to make him see, needed to somehow make him understand that it didn’t matter to me if he had one head or twenty—he was still special to me.
“I’m monstrous, fairy. You say this to me, but you’ve never seen me as I truly am.”
I laughed. “What does it matter the skin we wear? It’s the heart should matter, Prince. And mine is just as monstrous as you claim yours to be.”
Turning his face, he pressed a tight kiss to my palm, making my skin burn. Involuntarily, I crawled closer to him. Pressing my small breasts tight to his chest, putting our faces so close that our lips shared breath.
His entire frame shook, and it thrilled me.
“You’re not a monster,” he breathed.
I shook my head. “And neither are you. Would you do me the great honor of allowing me to see you?” I asked into the still hum beating between us.
The whites of his eyes overtook his irises—a sure sign of his terror, and it pained me to see it. I wanted to hurt Seraphina for hurting him as deeply as she had. The old beat of that darkness whipped through my bones that someone as good and kind as Syrith could have ever felt such pain.
If he didn’t matter to me, I would drop it. But he did matter. Very much. Pressing my forehead to his, I rubbed my nose with his.
“Whoever you really are, whatever you look like, I don’t care.”
“Then why see me at all? It will ruin you, Galeta. You say it won’t, but it will. Even my own parents have a hard time gazing upon me.”
“I could force you to if I really wanted to. If I were the old me, I’d have no qualms about doing just that, but this matters to me, Prince. You matter to me. I want to see you because I want to prove to you that not everyone is like Seraphina. We are friends, you and I. You’ve helped me more than you can know. So let me be your friend now and help you back.”
His hands gripped my wrists hard, rubbing the bones together and causing me to suck in a sharp breath. But I knew it was fear that gripped him, and so I stayed my tongue.
I saw the play of emotions cross his tight features. The rage. Pain. Hurt. And finally steely determination.
He stood, slipping out of my grip easily, and I missed his warmth already. Taking several steps back, until his back was nearly to the hearth, he gazed longingly at me.
“I would say something to you first, Galeta. No matter what happens after this, it’s been an honor knowing you.”
My heart broke. He was so sure I’d reject him that he’d already said his good-byes. I shook my head.
I imagined a monster drug up from the very pits of the Underworld. Maybe with skin that looked like melted wax, red and raw. A dragon’s head and serpent’s body. Maybe he was green, or blue, or black. I shook my head.
“Do it, Prince. Do it before you lose your nerve.”
His hands curled into fists by his side. I thought that maybe he might decide to walk away, maybe beg me for a stay of execution, as it were. But Syrith was dragonborne and made of sterner stuff.
His chin notched, and my heart grew in my chest, threatening to overwhelm me with pride for him. He did not want to do it, but he would because I’d asked him to.
Magic tightened the room. Curls of glowing red cascaded over him. I flinched at the bright light, shading my eyes with my hands. When the light faded, I took a moment to breathe deeply.
Whatever happened, I would not react. Not in front of him. Whatever he was, whoever he was, I would remember who he really was. Syrith was seeing me at my worst, and yet he remained. I could do no less for him.
My stomach a twisted mass of razor-tipped butterflies, I dropped my hand and looked.
And there he was. As he’d always been.
My Syrith.
Tall. Strong. With a chest as broad and powerful as any male dragonborne’s. His legs were thick and powerful looking. His hands flinched as he awaited my verdict.
I looked up at his face. At where it should be.
I’d heard of the legend, the headless horseman. But Syrith did have a face. It was
ghostly blue and barely there, but it was there. I grinned, exposing the long curves of my fangs.
His eyes were still wide, and fear etched an indelible mark around them. His lips were thinned and pinched.
“I see you, beast.” I grinned. “And here I thought you’d be a monster. I’d been prepared for the very worst. I feel rather let down, all in all.”
He chuffed, the sound a mix of a whiz and a huff. “What?” Looking angry now, he jerked his hand through where his head should have been. Coming in contact with nothing but air.
Were I anyone else, I doubt I’d be able to see his face. In truth, Syrith would be a macabre sight to most anyone not built of magic.
“Do you not see what I am? The twisted deformity of a man and ghost? Were I missing a limb or two, it would be one thing. But to have no face—”
Getting up and feeling ridiculously more at ease than I’d thought possible just moments ago, I walked over to him. My wings flitted excitedly behind me.
I grinned. “Syrith, have you forgotten who I am?”
His nostrils flared. “I’m beginning to think I know very little of who you truly are.”
I grinned. Because I’d forgotten a long time ago too. But I was remembering now.
“I’m magic, my boy. And you are so beautiful.”
Then, flitting my wings, lifting off my feet until I was eye level with him, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
A spark passed between us. And though at first I felt nothing, I poured a wave of that golden magic into him. But I would never give him back his head. Because this was who Syrith truly was. And shockingly, I rather liked it.
Knowing I’d somehow managed to tame a beast such as he—it was a heady, intoxicating thought. He’d tamed one too. Though he might not know it.
What I did do was make him feel me. Feel the breadth of my mouth move against his own.
He sucked in a powerful breath. “Galeta, I—”
“I know, beast,” I murmured against his mouth. “Now kiss me.”
And he did. His hands gripped my biceps, holding me fast. Gods, he was powerful. I sighed. Losing myself to his heady touch.
When we finally broke apart, both of us breathing heavy and staring deep into each other’s eyes, I knew our world had changed again.
Taking my hand in his, Syrith marched to the front door.
Once I might have balked, but I trusted him completely. I stepped through that door and gasped.
“Flowers, Syrith. They bloom in color.”
The path that led away from our door was bursting with them. With violets, poppies, daisies, sunflowers, bluebonnets, petunias, dragonsnaps, scarlet orchids, and so, so many more.
I covered my mouth with my hands as tears rolled down my cheeks. But this time it was joy that brought them.
He touched the backs of my hands. I looked up at him. He’d changed again, returning to his familiar male form. But I didn’t care.
Heart bursting nearly to the point of pain, I whispered the words that’d been seared upon it. “I love you.”
The trees shook, the clouds parted, and a bright-golden beam of sunlight washed over us.
Chapter 17: The Heart Knows
Syrith
I loved her. Though the words had frozen on my tongue two weeks ago, I knew it with every fiber of my being. I worshipped this fairy before me.
Seraphina had been nothing compared to this.
Galeta loved me too. Truly loved me. She’d seen me, and she’d never once flinched. But more than that, something about my true form had broken down that final wall between us.
I’d felt it. The fall.
Her touches were more frequent now. Soft. Sensual. In many ways, she was still a novice, but she learned quickly. Her kisses weren’t so hard or punishing. They were soulful, deep, and penetrating.
We’d stayed out of the hut for the rest of the day, holding tight to one another as we’d watched the sun track westward until, finally, the bright jewels of starlight had filled the navy-blue sky.
Animals now gathered in this realm. Birds sang in the trees, and lumbering beasts marched over the ground. The world was a strange mix of grays and bright, vivid colors.
We’d stayed within the shelter of the hut, not straying too far. But I didn’t sense it was fear that kept us here this time. Rather, Galeta and I both felt our time in this mirror realm slipping away.
I’d not seen or heard from Harpy for some days now. And apart from the occasional moments I’d been whisked away to do battle in the games above, it was just Galeta and I.
She slept with her door open now. And I’d begun to crawl closer and closer to her bed each night. Until this morning—I now rested upon the foot of it.
Watching her with my heart in my throat.
She was in miniature, with her arms crossed in front of her and her cheek resting upon them. Her breaths were soft, her face at peace.
Her colors were changing. There wasn’t a hint of blue on her now. Just her eyes, but they weren’t unnaturally cold. They were warm and filled with laughter.
She teased me so easily now.
I love you...
The words echoed in my head. My cat’s tongue twitched with the need to get them out.
Aphrodite had told me that today would be my final day in the tournament. It was obvious now to one and all that the clone too had altered. She was softer. Still Blue, and still played dirty, but when she looked at me, love burned through her gaze.
Whatever was happening to Galeta down here, a sliver of the real her was also in that clone up there.
I love you. I love you. I love you...
How the words burned for release. I’d sworn a long time ago that I would never again say them. That I would never again give in. But I’d fallen so deeply and so completely, I couldn’t not feel this either.
It was fear that held my tongue and nothing more.
Her chest inflated and deflated with her even breaths. Reaching out a paw, I gently rubbed my fur against her back, and she smiled.
How was it that I’d never realized what true love should really be? How was it that Seraphina’s beauty had so addled me that I’d actually believed myself happy with her?
Looking back, I could finally recognize her indifference to me. The way she’d lean away when I’d move in for a kiss. How at times she’d tease me with cruel, cutting words, and yet I’d been so blind as to believe she’d honestly felt as I had.
Not once had Galeta made me feel ashamed of myself. Not once had she made me feel I wasn’t enough.
To her, I was.
She might not say it. And though I knew that fairies didn’t love, I also knew that for the farce it was. This fairy, at least, did.
The world had lit up when she’d uttered those three words. And each night before sleep, she’d say the same to me.
I’d thought at first it was only Galeta with her walls up, but I now knew I’d had them with her too.
Galeta’s breathing pattern shifted. Going from deep to shallow. She was waking. This was my favorite time of day, watching her rise. Waiting until she spotted me, and seeing that slow burn of love blaze across her face.
I would tell her today.
I would open my mouth and simply say the words.
The room popped with a tightening of magic. I knew immediately that Aphrodite had returned for me. My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to leave yet. But the sooner I left, the sooner I could return.
“Your love blazes through my heart, dragonborne,” Love said deeply.
I nodded, not tearing my eyes from my woman. I would follow her to the ends of Kingdom if need be, but I would never leave her side again. No matter where the Fates took us.
“Why have you not told her yet?” Aphrodite asked softly.
Imprinting every swell and curve to memory, I finally turned. Hopped down from the bed and shifted mid-jump into my familiar form.
Using a bit of dragon’s breath, I cleaned myself off then dusted off my ves
t before smiling broadly at the goddess staring quizzically at me.
“Because I was afraid, Love. Afraid that by saying it out loud, I’d somehow ruin it all. Afraid that by confessing the truth, I’d discover this dream to be nothing but a nightmare. But I’m not scared anymore. And I will tell her everything.”
Aphrodite was dressed in a gown of swan feathers that looked painted upon her tight body. Blond hair flowed down her shoulders. She might be beauty personified to every other male in all of the worlds, but her beauty paled in comparison to the woman who gripped my heart fast in her wee hands.
Looking back at Galeta one final time, I whispered the words that’d imprinted themselves on my heart.
“I love you.”
Lush lips tipped up in a sleepy smile. I wasn’t sure if she’d heard or not. But I would never stop saying it to her.
“Come, Syrith,” Aphrodite said deeply, “we must not tarry.”
~*~
Galeta
I love you...
The ghostly echo of Syrith’s words wrapped around my heart like a string. With a cry, I sat up looking around my room in a daze.
When I’d first come this world, there’d not been much life. But life was blooming, even within the confines of these four walls. My bed, which had once just been a lumpy mattress, had begun to turn into the softest, lushest mound of rich moss. The bare walls were now crawling with vines whose leaves were as broad as a large man’s palm, and were dotted with a colorful array of miniature flowers. Saplings had sprouted from the ground, with the promise of soon becoming deeply rooted and mature conifers.
It wasn’t just me changing things. It was him too.
“Syr? Are you here?” I whispered.
The memory of those three little words continued to hammer away at my heart. Shoving thick curls of hair out of my eyes, I only gave it half a thought that this morning it appeared far blonder than ever before.
“Beast?” I said tightly, nerves stretched taut as I awaited his response. He’d said he loved me. Those words hadn’t been a mere dream, right? Two weeks ago, I’d unburdened my heart to him, and though he’d still yet to say it to me, I felt his adoration in everything he did.
The Fairy Queen (The Dark Queens Book 6) Page 17