Graced: A Love Letters Novel

by Kristen Blakely

  Noelle enjoyed his easy interaction with her family, and the patient way he handled his children. Grace, for all her belligerent attitude against her father, immediately went to him for comfort and care when she fell heavily on her knee while ice-skating in her socks along the corridor. Hope was much less shy about her affection for and attachment to her father. She looped back around to him after each round of exploring the house and clung to his knee until she received a kiss on the forehead and a gentle pat on her diapered butt, ushering her off into the great big world once more.

  Connor’s smartphone rang. Noelle scooted away from him so that he could pull it out of his pocket. While she stoked the fire, she caught snippets of his conversation. She did not miss the way he tensed.

  He hung up, his face tight.

  “What’s up?” she asked.

  “It was Jason. His wife just went into labor, and he asked if I could meet him at the hospital.”

  Holly’s brow furrowed. “She’s early, isn’t she?”

  Connor nodded. “She’s in good hands, but I think Jason just wants another doctor around—mostly to tell him not to panic.”

  Noelle chuckled. “Isn’t Jason your partner at the clinic?”

  “Yes, and like all good doctors, he’s thoroughly logical and professional until his wife is the one in the bed.”

  Try as she might, Noelle could not detect any bitterness or irony in his voice. Still, the situation couldn’t possibly be easy for him, bringing back recollections of last Christmas, when his wife had been the one in the bed.

  Connor stood slowly, a hand braced against his back. “My car is still in the ditch. Could I get a ride to the hospital, please?”

  “I’ll take you.” Holly reached for her keys and headed to the door.

  Connor glanced at Noelle. “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

  She waved her hand. “Don’t worry about it. If it gets late, I’ll take the kids home, or perhaps we’ll camp out here, in sleeping bags by the fireplace.”

  Grace perked up. “Really? We can go camping?”

  Hope wailed when she realized her father had left, but when Noelle picked her up, she settled into an occasional disconsolate whimper. In fact, Noelle suspected quickly that the whimpers were entirely for effect. They happened only when Noelle looked at Hope and Hope realized someone was watching her. “Sneaky child,” Noelle chided and kissed the whimper away. She glanced up and saw her father’s gaze on her. “What?”

  “Just thinking how good you look together.”

  “If you’re thinking of match-making, don’t. I don’t think Connor is ready to move on.”

  “If he weren’t, he wouldn’t be sitting with his arm around you. Connor’s a simple man, that way. Faithful too.” Her father snorted and turned his attention to the magazine he held. “He’s a good man, too good to be played around with.”

  Noelle frowned. “What are you saying, Daddy? We’re both adults; we know what we’re doing.”

  “Do you? You broke lots of hearts in this town, Noelle. Don’t break Connor’s too. He doesn’t deserve it.”

  It was past 1 a.m. when Connor walked into his house. Noelle uncoiled from the couch, where she had been napping beneath a heavy comforter, and propped herself up on one elbow. “How’s the baby?”

  “Mother and baby are doing well.” Connor smiled. He dragged his hand over his face. “I’m sorry it took so long.”

  “Did Jason fall apart?”

  He chuckled as he sank down on the couch beside her. “He did a great job, considering it’s his first.”

  “And how’s your back?”

  “It’s holding up. Swapping out the ice and heat packs early in the injury really helped. Thank you.”

  “No problem.” Noelle peered closely at him. “You look…good.” She heard the surprise in her own voice.

  “I handled that better than I thought.” He sounded surprised and satisfied. “It was a little hard at first. Newborn. Christmas…”

  “Even though Christmas is technically the celebration of a newborn’s birth,” Noelle said drily.

  “Yes, even though.” Connor laughed. It was a tired sound, but it rang with sincere humor. “I think being there for someone else helped me not fall apart. It was…” He stared at the neat piles of discarded Christmas wrappers Noelle had gathered, smoothed, and folded. He laughed, a sound that warmed her. “Do you reuse them too?”

  “Of course. Doesn’t everyone?”

  “I do. I didn’t think anyone else did. It drove Millie crazy. She said it added to the clutter in the house, and she was probably right. It didn’t help that we couldn’t quite recall where we’d stashed it the previous year, so we ended up using all new wrapping paper anyway. Oh, what a day it has been.” He leaned his head back against the sofa. The motion bared his neck, and she was touched that he didn’t think twice about appearing vulnerable when he was alone with her. “It feels like I’ve grown up more in the past twenty-four hours than I have in an entire year.”

  She placed her hand over his. “You’ve spent the entire year growing. It’s just the first time you’ve paused long enough to reflect.”

  “I suppose.” He stared at their entwined fingers. “What about you? How have you grown since leaving Havre de Grace?”

  “Oh, it’s been so long. I told myself I was keeping Mom company after the divorce, but really, I just wanted to get away from a little town and all the expectations that form up around you before you even enter first grade.”

  “Like taking over your dad’s pet store?”

  “See! You heard that one too.” Noelle huffed. “People think that destiny is an ancient concept in a modern world. I just say no one really understands the concept of destiny unless he or she was born in a small town where everyone knows everyone and, worse, has an opinion on everything. The opinions are like brick and mortar. They form a wall that shepherd you down one path without giving you an opportunity to look around.”

  Connor chuckled.

  “Didn’t you mind?”

  “That people expected me to become a doctor and take over the clinic when my father retired? No.”

  “Did you even consider anything else?”

  “Not really. Not seriously, at any rate.”

  “And it didn’t bother you?”

  “I guess some people find the familiarity—or destiny, as you call it—comforting. I like knowing my neighbors, even when they stop me in the middle of the grocery store aisle to talk about gout. I like knowing I can pick up the phone in the morning, make a couple of phone calls, and find someone to keep an eye on Grace and Hope during the day.”

  “I thought you had the whole of next week off?”

  “I did, and then Danica gave birth a month ahead of schedule. Jason’s going to need time with his new family, so I offered to go back in to the clinic.”

  “Small town communities,” Noelle murmured. She knew all too well how it worked. She had no doubt Jason had stepped in to cover for Connor many times during the previous year. Friends covered for each other; that was just how things were in Havre de Grace. “Why don’t you leave Grace and Hope with me?”

  “Aren’t you going in to the pet store?”

  “Yes, but I think Grace will enjoy it there. Besides, she likes hanging out with me.”

  “Yeah, she does.” He glanced at her. “Your Christmas break isn’t turning out the way you imagined.”

  “No, but that’s not to say I’m not enjoying it.” She smiled. “Like your Christmas, it’s turning out to be a great deal more than I expected.”

  His gaze lingered on her. The fluttering nerves in the pit of her stomach consolidated into the low burn of desire. “What are you thinking?” she asked, her voice husky.

  “That I’d like to kiss you again.”

  She wet her lips. “What’s stopping you?”

  He expelled his breath in a low sigh but said nothing. He did not need to. She knew exactly what he was thinking: Grace and Hope.

&nb
sp; Noelle shifted to face him. “This time is just for us. No promises. No expectations.”

  Connor frowned slightly.

  Her father’s warning echoed through her mind. He’s a good man, too good to be played around with. She hadn’t expected Connor to leap at her open invitation. Of course he wasn’t built that way. Connor was built for marriage and a lifetime romance with his high school sweetheart. He believed in destiny, in all that was familiar, but he was still a man with needs.

  Yet at that moment, with more certainty than she ever thought possible, she knew that what he needed was her.

  Her hand wrapped around the back of his neck; her fingers combed through his short hair. His shallow breaths came faster. His brown eyes were dark in the dim light cast by the flickering flames in the fireplace. She leaned in close until she could feel the pounding of his heart against her breasts. “Kiss me,” she murmured into his ear. “Kiss me, and we’ll take it from there.”

  Chapter 10

  The sun was setting on December 26 when the door to the pet store opened and Holly walked in.

  Noelle glanced up. “How’s Daddy?”

  “Doing just fine. The visitors started up again. Somehow, everyone must have thought we invited the entire U.S. military over for Christmas dinner because they brought more food even though we’ve scarcely made a dent in the food we already have.”

  “I figured.”

  “You were definitely smart to run away and tend the pet store instead. Anyway, I just wanted to check in on you. How are the kiddos doing?”

  “Hope’s sleeping in her play yard in the back office, and every pet has had a bath and is all cuddled out, thanks to Grace.” Noelle peeked down one aisle where Grace was playing with a white kitten.

  “Busy day.”

  Noelle nodded. “I was busy, but the store was quiet. I don’t even know why Daddy insists on keeping the store open the week between Christmas and New Year. Nothing ever happens.”

  “I suppose not.” Holly leaned on the counter. “So, what happened with Connor?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Three thousand dollars worth of nothing?”

  Noelle followed Holly’s gaze down to the bracelet on her wrist. Her eyes widened. “Three thousand dollars?”

  “And it was on sale too.” Holly shrugged. “I couldn’t resist. I had to find out how much it cost. The sales assistant said he didn’t even look at the price tag.”

  “Yeah? Probably because he was too tired to think straight.”

  “So, is he as good in bed as Millie used to say?”

  Noelle scowled. “I’d forgotten that you were friends with Millie.”

  “Best friends. Well?”

  “I wouldn’t know.”

  Holly’s eyebrows shot up.

  Noelle rolled her eyes. “Jeez, give him a break. The man hurt his back. He’s popping painkillers every four hours.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Holly’s face fell. “I suppose you’re right.”

  Noelle’s smile turned mischievous. “He is a heck of a kisser, I’ll give you that.”

  “Oh. More details, come on. Don’t be shy.”

  “There isn’t more to say, except that we both enjoy it, and we’re consenting adults of sound mind.” Noelle’s prim façade collapsed into a giggle.

  “So, you’ll think he’ll go all the way?”

  “If he doesn’t, it certainly wouldn’t be because I objected. God, he’s so sexy, and I don’t even think he realizes it.”

  “The words ‘doctors’ and ‘sex symbols’ usually aren’t used in the same sentence, I grant you.”

  Noelle punched Holly lightly on the arm. “He is eye candy, but it’s not his looks. It’s—” She waved her hands in the air, trying to find the elusive term. “—everything else. His strength, his kindness, not just with his children, but with everyone he meets. When you think he should stop, he keeps going. He’ll give up his vacation for a patient, for his partner. He would go to the ends of the world to make his children happy.” Her voice caught, and she blinked, startled by the swell of emotion.

  Holly looked alarmed. “Oh my God. You’ve fallen in love with him? But…it’s only been three days.”

  “I’m not in love with him. I just…admire him.”

  Holly arched an eyebrow. “That was a pretty extreme reaction for admiration. That’s the problem with you. You think with your heart.”

  “You say it like it’s a bad thing.”

  “You’ve always had good instincts about people, but wishful thinking isn’t going to make the hard facts go away.”

  “What facts?”

  “Connor’s a small-town guy. He’s not leaving Havre de Grace. His business is here; all his friends are here. You’re only setting yourself up for disappointment if you think you can convince him to follow you back to the bright lights of L.A.”

  “Connor and I aren’t in a relationship.” Yet.

  Holly shook her head. “You’re skimming right on the edge of it. Connor’s not a hard man to love. In fact, I’d say you’ve already tumbled head over heels for him; you’re just not ready to admit it.”

  “I’m not the only person in this so-called relationship.”

  “No, but Connor’s ready to fall. I saw him for myself yesterday, snuggling with you on the couch. He’ll always love Millie and miss her, but he’s finally moving on. He wouldn’t have held you if he was still emotionally tied to her memory.”

  “Daddy said the same thing.”

  “We know Connor. You don’t.”

  Noelle frowned.

  “Oh, don’t get defensive. You know it’s the truth. You haven’t seen each other in twelve years. You’re not the same people you were even though—” Holly bit her lip.

  “Even though what?” Noelle asked.

  “Nothing.” Holly flipped her wrist dismissively.

  Noelle sighed. “So you and Daddy both think I’m doing the wrong thing? I’m not trying to lead him on, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

  “That’s precisely the problem. You’re not a cold-hearted bitch; we know you’re not doing this to hurt him. You’re honestly trying to help, and you’re genuinely attracted to him, which will lower his defenses. He’ll fall for you, and then when you leave—”

  “He needs someone.”

  “We all need someone, but why you?”

  Noelle opened her mouth to respond and shut it abruptly. Why me? Her brow furrowed. “I don’t know.”

  Holly snorted. “When you figure it out, you let him know.

  The chime tinkled as Connor pushed on the door and entered the pet store. At the sight of Noelle behind the counter, a surge of joy warmed his chest, and he relaxed into a smile. “Hey.”

  She smiled, too, but the curve of her lips seemed restrained somehow. “You closed up early.”

  “Actually, right on time. Most days we close late, but we didn’t have much traffic today. I saw Holly leave your store just as I turned the corner. How are the kids?”

  “Hope is still napping, and Grace is down that aisle. Why don’t you get her while I put Hope in her stroller?”

  Connor walked toward Grace. She looked up at him and back down at the white kitten purring at her feet. “This is Snowball, because she’s white like snow and she curls up into a little ball.”

  He knelt beside her and stroked the kitten, who grabbed his hand between her little paws and tried to gnaw on his knuckles. “She’s beautiful.”

  Grace’s chin tilted up. “I want to take her home.”

  Connor sighed. “I don’t think we’re ready for a kitten.”

  “I’m ready for a kitten.”

  “You’re at school all day, and I’m at work all day. The kitten would be lonely at home.”

  “My friends have pets, and they’re at school all day too.”

  “I know you want a kitten, but we can’t adopt one, not right now.”

  Grace scowled. “You always say that. When is it ever going to be now?”

 
; “When we know we can handle the responsibility of caring for a kitten.”

  “You never give me what I want.”

  “Grace—”

  “I hate you.”

  Connor inhaled sharply. Most of his conversations with Grace ended the same way, and he was tired of it.

  Noelle cleared her throat. “Is the kitten causing problems between you and your father?” Her tone was mild.

  Grace searched Noelle’s face before she looked away sullenly. “No.”

  “Good, because it would be a shame to have to send that kitten away to another home instead of keeping her here so that you can come by to play with her when your dad says you can.”

  “Really? You’ll keep her here? You won’t sell her?”

  “Only if I can find a responsible little girl to come by and care for her for a few minutes each day.”

  Grace jumped excitedly. “I’m a responsible little girl. I mean, I’m a responsible big girl.”

  “We’ll see about that. Now, it’s time for you to go home for dinner with your daddy.”

  Grace frowned. “You’re coming, too, right?”

  Noelle shook her head. “I’ve spent all day with you. I think you, Hope, and your daddy need some time together.”

  “But I want you to come for dinner!”

  Connor cut in. “Grace, Noelle needs to spend time with her sister and her daddy too.”

  “Did your daddy give you pets?”

  No, no. Connor caught Noelle’s gaze. Trick question.

  She winked at him before kneeling down to talk to Grace. “My daddy made me help at the pet store until he knew I could take care of a pet on my own. And I always went home for dinner.”

  “I don’t wanna go home. Mama’s not there anymore.”

  Like a spear hurled at fragile glass, Grace’s words shattered the thin layer of normality, of happiness he had rebuilt on the foundation of two wonderful, amazing days with Noelle. He grabbed Grace’s arm and pushed her toward the door. “We’re leaving.”

  “No, I’m not.” She yanked her arm out of his grip. “I want Noelle to come with me.” She glared at her father, her lower lip quivering. “You’re mean and horrible when she’s not with us.”