The Truth Will Out

by Anna McPartlin

‘Matt, this isn’t about relaxing – this is about proving a point.’

  ‘Right.’

  They remained seated in the bar in silence.

  It had not gone unnoticed by either party that Harri had done everything in her power to avoid Matt.

  ‘She’s just freaked out,’ Melissa said, after a while.

  ‘Me too,’ he replied. ‘She didn’t want to come, did she?’

  ‘Not really. I suppose I made her.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have asked. I made such an arse of myself when we met I just wanted to make it up to her.’

  Melissa laughed. ‘She doesn’t think you’re an arse.’

  ‘What does she think?’

  ‘She’s confused.’

  ‘Well, I know what that’s like,’ he admitted. ‘I shouldn’t have rushed things.’

  When it became apparent that Harri would not be joining them, Matt and Melissa made their way to the hotel restaurant and ordered some food.

  Over dinner Melissa talked about her problem. ‘You see, Gerry thinks it’s just a phase. He thinks sooner or later I’ll be back to myself, but I’ll never be back to myself because that was the old me and this is the new me’ – she waved her hand, spilling a little wine – ‘the stay-at-home-with-the-kids me.’ There were tears in her eyes. ‘I mean, I don’t like that notion either. I didn’t get a degree and work my arse off for the past twenty years for nothing. But, Matt, I’m a mother first. That’s it. That is the reality. I am a mother.’

  That night Matt did a lot of nodding. Melissa wasn’t really looking for his opinion or even advice, she just needed someone to listen.

  ‘You’re such a good listener,’ she said, a little tearful since she had drunk three glasses of wine too many. ‘Harri’s lucky to have you.’

  Matt smiled. It’s a pity she doesn’t think so.

  Alfio spotted Harri in the garden. ‘I thought you were dining with Matt?’

  ‘Don’t feel like it,’ she said, and sat on the bench.

  He joined her. ‘It’s all a little much?’

  ‘I shouldn’t have come. I’m not ready for this.’

  ‘Matt never does things by halves.’

  ‘I came for Melissa, really. I thought it would be easy but every time I look at him I feel weird.’

  ‘Weird how?’

  ‘I can’t explain. I have so many questions but I’m not sure if I want the answers. He’s a stranger and yet when he looks at me it’s with such great expectation. I can’t handle that. He keeps talking about the way I look and I know he thinks I resemble her and it’s creepy. He seems like a nice man but I’m not sure that he’s the kind of man I want to know. I don’t like horses – I don’t care how pretty they are. I don’t like country estates, welly boots and fleece jackets. I don’t like the way he looks at me so intensely when I talk. I don’t like him knowing so much about me, or that he’s been watching me from afar. I don’t like that he can’t seem to let go of a girl who died thirty years ago. I don’t like that he keeps texting me. I hate texting.’

  Alfio laughed. ‘Have you finished?’

  She smiled a little. ‘I don’t like that he’s flirting with my best friend. There, now I’m done.’

  ‘He’s been waiting for this for thirty years.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘He’s missed you for thirty years.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘He just wants to get to know you.’

  ‘I know.’

  ‘He’s not just some stranger who wants something from you and he’s not just about riding horses, welly boots and fleece jackets. He’s smart and funny and kind and, yes, he’s a womanizer and flirt but he’s also a gentleman and, like you, he’s just a little lost.’

  ‘I’m scared,’ she said. ‘He’s been waiting for this for so long. What if I’m a disappointment?’

  ‘You’re not.’

  Matt escorted Melissa to her room. ‘I had a lovely night,’ he said.

  ‘Liar.’

  Harri opened the bedroom door and Melissa passed her silently, leaving her standing face to face with Matt. ‘Sorry I disappeared,’ she said.

  ‘It’s okay. Sorry I pushed you to come here.’

  ‘You didn’t. Melissa did.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have asked.’

  ‘I shouldn’t have accepted.’

  He laughed, and she smiled. ‘We sound pathetic.’

  Matt nodded. ‘I have an idea. Why don’t we just have breakfast tomorrow? All I ask is one hour.’

  ‘Okay,’ she agreed. ‘One hour.’

  Breakfast was stilted and, although both of them made an effort, for a large part of their hour together they sat in an uncomfortable silence.

  ‘Do you ski?’

  ‘No. George does.’

  ‘Oh. I love to ski.’

  ‘Yeah, so does he.’

  Silence.

  ‘Ever lived abroad?’

  ‘No. You?’

  ‘America. Kentucky.’

  ‘Nice?’

  ‘Beautiful.’

  ‘Oh.’

  Silence.

  ‘The eggs are really good,’ he tried again.

  ‘Yes, they’re lovely.’

  ‘I love eggs.’

  ‘Me too.’ This feels like a really bad date. Oh, my God, I’m feeling panicked. Silence. Breathe. It’s all fine. Breathe in and out. In and out. Not too quickly. In. Wait. Out. Wait.

  ‘Are you okay?’

  ‘Fine.’ In. Out. In. Out. I have no idea what to say to this man.

  Harri managed to regain her composure but lost it once more following an embarrassing misunderstanding with the waiter, which seemed to confound both of them.

  Matt valiantly attempted to recover.

  ‘How about we ask each other a question?’ he suggested hopefully.

  ‘Okay, you go first.’

  ‘Is your dad a good man?’

  ‘Yes,’ she smiled, ‘he’s better than good.’

  ‘I sensed that. I’m glad I was right.’

  ‘Did you want to keep me?’

  ‘I was seventeen.’

  ‘That’s not what I asked.’

  ‘Yes and no. I’d just lost Liv. I was turned inside out. I was a mess.’

  ‘I understand.’

  ‘It still hurt to let you go.’

  She smiled. ‘This has been nice.’ She got up and left, having given him fifty-five minutes of her time.

  Back in the room, Melissa was attempting to sleep off a hangover. She woke to her friend crying at the end of the bed.

  ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘It’s never going to be like it used to be,’ she sobbed.

  ‘I know,’ Melissa soothed. She got up and joined Harri. ‘But that doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world.’

  ‘It fucking feels like it!’ Harri said, making Melissa smile. ‘The waiter thought we were a couple.’

  Melissa laughed so heartily Harri was forced to join in.

  Gerry was on red alert. ‘Okay, Melissa, you want to play games. Fine.’ He decided that the previous day had been a nightmare only because he wasn’t prepared. That would not happen today. The alarm went off at five, approximately two minutes before his daughter awoke crying. He walked around in circles before attempting to take her into the shower. She didn’t like the shower so he got out quickly and without washing. He tried to get dressed but she really did not like it when he stopped moving. After tripping over his trousers, he wrapped himself in a towel and gave up.

  He laid Jacob’s clothes out on his bed so that when he awoke they were ready.

  ‘That’s what you’re wearing,’ he said, pointing to the clothes. Jacob started crying. ‘I’m not listening. I’m not listening.’ Oh, God, I sound like Melissa.

  He put Carrie into her chair with a jar of food she could throw aroun
d and while she did that he made Jacob some toast.

  ‘I don’t want toast.’

  ‘You’re having toast.’

  ‘But –’

  ‘It’s one day – just eat the toast.’

  And while Jacob ate toast Gerry dressed. He ate the end of Jacob’s toast and took Carrie upstairs to wash and dress her.

  ‘Don’t forget my lunch.’

  He made Jacob’s lunch.

  ‘I can’t find my bag.’

  ‘Where did you put it?’

  Jacob shrugged.

  Gerry spent fifteen minutes looking for the bag, which he eventually found in the hot press.

  At eight thirty on the dot Mrs Rafferty arrived. He handed her the baby.

  ‘Jacob, let’s go.’

  Jacob arrived into the hallway. ‘Hi, Mrs Rafferty.’

  ‘Hi, sweet man.’ She looked him up and down. ‘That top looks huge on you.’

  ‘Dad said he doesn’t care.’

  ‘Right.’

  ‘’Bye, Mrs Rafferty,’ Gerry said, pushing his son out the door.

  He had to take Jacob inside the playschool personally as it was a rule. Then the teacher wanted a word with him.

  ‘I don’t have time.’

  ‘Excuse me?’

  ‘Seriously, I’m not a bad parent, I just don’t have time!’

  He ran out of the door and got into the car before she could follow him.

  The traffic was back to back. He called Lorraine. ‘I’m going to be fifteen minutes late.’

  ‘They’re already here.’

  ‘Christ.’

  ‘I could entertain them if you want – maybe a medley from Grease?’

  ‘Lorraine.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘This is not the time for funny.’

  Gerry was twenty-five minutes late for his meeting and his fellow attendees were not too impressed.

  As Mrs Rafferty would be with the kids until five, he filled his briefcase with work he could take home and left the office at four fifeen, making it home for four fifty-nine. Mrs Rafferty had her coat on. From five o’clock until eight, he ran around the house after Jacob playing cowboys and Indians, cooked, fed his two kids and cleaned the kitchen as Mrs Rafferty had made it clear that she was not a cleaner. He then dressed Jacob and Carrie for bed, changed his daughter’s nappy three times, read his son three stories and attempted to drink two coffees, neither endeavour successful. At five past eight he opened his briefcase and by eight twenty-five he was face down on the table and fast asleep. He woke at ten.

  ‘Susan?’

  ‘Hi, Gerry.’

  ‘I need you.’

  She laughed.

  ‘She told you what she was doing to me, didn’t she?’ he said.

  Susan admitted that she had.

  He sighed. ‘I give up.’

  ‘What can I do?’

  ‘I have to be in work for a conference call at eight.’

  ‘I’ll be in your place by six forty-five.’

  ‘Oh, thank you! Thank you, Susan. Thank you. Thank you so much.’

  The next morning she arrived at six forty-five just as she had promised. She took over handling the kids while Gerry got dressed, reviewed key figures for his conference call and ate an actual breakfast. He was gone by seven fifteen. At eight thirty Mrs Rafferty arrived and Susan took Jacob to playschool. After spending the afternoon picking up fabrics for a client, she returned in time for Mrs Rafferty to leave at five. Gerry got home just before six. Both kids were fed and sitting in front of SpongeBob SquarePants. Susan served Gerry his dinner and sat drinking coffee while he ate.

  ‘I had no idea,’ he said. ‘I mean, I lived here and it’s not like I didn’t pitch in but I had no fucking idea.’

  Susan laughed. ‘When I had Beth, women didn’t really work.’

  ‘Well, now I can see why.’

  ‘It will be tight,’ she said.

  ‘You’ve no idea.’

  ‘But it will work out.’ She smiled.

  ‘I just worry that she’ll leave her job and realize she hates being home. I tell you, I think I’d rather die painfully.’

  ‘You’re exaggerating.’

  ‘No. I’m really not.’

  ‘I think she will miss it. She’s loves her job but she just can’t do it all and, as it turns out, she just wants to be there for her kids. Who’d have guessed?’ Susan smiled.

  ‘She can always go back,’ he said, rubbing his forehead.

  ‘Or she might want to do something else.’

  ‘When the kids go to bed I’ll play around with some figures.’

  ‘Tell you what? I’ll put them to bed and you start right now.’

  ‘Thanks, Susan,’ he said, kissing her cheek. ‘You’re a star. Andrew’s a lucky man.’

  ‘Yes, he ruddy is,’ she said, with a grin.

  9 July 1976 – Friday

  HE was drunk and bumped into me. I lost my balance and he grabbed me. His hand must have felt my hard stomach because he knew. The minute he touched me he knew it was more than fat. He’d been calling me names and I didn’t care. I said to Matthew he could call me anything he wanted, I don’t even hear him any more, but when he touched me and he looked at me I knew it was going to be bad. He hit me in the face with a closed fist. I thought my eye was going to come out of the back of my head. It knocked me down. It was so loud even Mam heard it and she came running and then he screamed that I was a slut and he was pulling at my clothes and she jumped on his back and wrapped her hands around his neck and she looked like a woman possessed and she screamed that she would never let him touch me and he was choking she was holding his neck so tight, and I swear – no matter how hard he tried – he couldn’t shake her. He fell to his knees before she let go and then she kicked him and told him to get out and he did. He just left. And afterwards she put ice on my eye and when it wouldn’t go down she took me to Dr B.

  We walked together through Devil’s Glen and if she realized I was pregnant she didn’t say anything. Instead she just breathed in the fresh air as though she’d forgotten what fresh air smelt like. She didn’t really talk but when I said, ‘Thanks for helping me,’ she stopped. She kissed me and told me she loved me with all her heart and then we walked on in silence and all I wanted to do was cry but it hurt too much. Dr B took away the scrunched-up knickers filled with ice that I was holding up to my eye and he said it was nasty but I’d be fine. Mam waited in his sitting room and watched Coronation Street. He asked me what had happened and I told him, ‘Nothing,’ but he knew I was lying and then he asked me straight out if I was pregnant and I said yes and asked him how he knew and he said he’d guessed and instead of being annoyed he apologized for not noticing sooner. I told him not to worry, that I’d gone to a great deal of trouble so that people wouldn’t notice. He checked me out and said he was worried I might go sooner than we thought. I told him I couldn’t because Matthew and I were going to Kentucky in a fortnight. He asked how and I told him Matthew was doing everything.

  That was when he rang Matthew’s house and told him to come down, and then everything went a bit weird and basically he said that our plan was rubbish, not in those terms but that was what he meant. By the end I was crying, Matthew was crying, Dr B was pacing and Mam was still watching the TV, even though Coronation Street was long over. And then some time after that it was agreed that Matthew would go to his grandfather and seek his permission to marry me. It has something to do with money and the estate or something – I don’t know. I switched off.

  Anyway, Matthew said he would and then we were engaged and we hugged and Dr B made tea and we clinked our mugs, and Mam was still watching TV. Dr B said if she wouldn’t listen to reason he might have to put her into hospital forcibly. I asked if he could really do that and he said he could. I told him about how she’d saved me and that I really thought she was i
mproving and I do, I really do. He said he’d keep an eye on her but our priority was Matthew going to his grandparents. He’s leaving the day after tomorrow. I can’t wait.

  26. The treasure in Castle Street

  ‘Okay. I have a question,’ Harri said, holding the phone to her ear and sighing into the receiver.

  ‘Go on,’ Matt prompted.

  ‘When did you fall for Liv?’

  ‘Oh, that’s easy. One day in the stables my father came out of nowhere screaming about one of the horses being lame. I’d exercised the horse so of course it was my fault. He called me every name under the sun and all the while she was standing in the stable behind me. I knew she was there and I liked her so I was really embarrassed.’

  ‘So what happened?’

  ‘After he stormed off she walked up to me and nudged me. I was so red I didn’t want to look at her but she smiled and told me not to worry, that all dads were dicks.’ He laughed at the memory. ‘I fell in love then and there.’

  Harriet laughed. ‘All dads are dicks! What a beautiful story.’ She was making her way around the market with Melissa, who was tired and hungry. ‘I should go.’

  ‘Okay.’

  ‘Enjoy the horse show.’

  ‘I will.’

  She hung up.

  Melissa turned to her. ‘So let me get this straight. He brought you to Seville so that you could communicate on the phone?’

  ‘It works better like this.’

  ‘To each his own, my friend. To each his own. Now let’s eat. I’m starving.’

  Alfio knocked on Harri’s door at a little after six. ‘I called my ex-girlfriend.’

  Harri opened the door and allowed him in. ‘Well?’

  ‘She’s married.’

  ‘Oh. Shite. Sorry.’

  ‘No. It’s good. I’ve been holding on to what was for too long.’

  ‘You look like you might cry.’

  ‘That is because I might.’

  Oh, Jesus. ‘Well, what does Matt say?’

  ‘He says what he always says. Get laid.’

  Charming.

  ‘But, you know, this time I think he’s right.’

  ‘Good for you.’

  ‘Thank you, Harri. You’ve opened my eyes. It’s been painful but necessary.’

  ‘You’re very welcome.’