Off Script

by Anna Paige

  “Been there,” he agreed. “So, how about the acting itself? Are you connecting with Meadow?”

  I couldn’t help my grin. “Let’s see, a complete newbie who is thrust into a profession she barely understands and has no idea what the hell she’s doing? It’s a stretch but I think I can guess how she might feel.” I rolled my eyes and chuckled.

  “Yeah, I think you probably relate to her pretty well. Maybe that was the whole point of having a new actor take on the role. It wouldn’t be the worst idea Bryce ever had, actually.” His lips pursed as he got lost in thought. “It’s kind of brilliant, if you think about it.”

  “Because Meadow is supposed to come across as inept, like me?”

  “No, new girl. I didn’t mean that. I meant the storyline and the ratings. We’ve been catching hell recently because there were no unknowns on the show, all seasoned actors like myself who just couldn’t manage to make the viewers empathize. I don’t know the full scale of what was said, but Bryce basically implied that no one believed any of us as vulnerable, whether because of our prior character arcs on Savages or our work on other projects. Hell, we’ve all had to scale back on our time in the makeup chair—a change I was thrilled about, by the way—because viewers are sick of seeing perfectly polished faces. They want to see us as flawed, real.”

  “Like me?” I nodded to myself, knowing the answer before he even said it. “They wanted me as Meadow because I’m not the typical starlet type. I’m not particularly thin, not model beautiful, and not polished in the least.”

  He started to shake his head. “Kaiti…”

  “Stop. I’m not being harsh, I’m just aware of who and what I am. I’m fine with my weight, with having a cute-bordering-on-pretty face that won’t be on any magazine covers anytime soon, and most of all I’m perfectly content with being blunt and honest rather than kissing ass and playing games. I see no reason to be anything than what I’ve always been—me.”

  He reached over and covered my hand with his. “I would never want you to be anything else because what you are…is amazing. You’re really killing it and I’m not the only one who’s noticed. Bryce doesn’t dole out compliments often and you’ve gotten several this week.” His thumb lightly stroked the back of my hand and sent a crackle of awareness all the way up my arm.

  Please don’t blush.

  “I really am trying not to let anyone down.”

  A line formed between his brows like I’d confused him. “Who would you possibly let down?”

  I shrugged. “Bryce, for one. He really stuck his neck out, bringing in a newbie actor on such a hugely popular show. If I fail at this, he’s going to catch hell from the executives, right?”

  Gavin waved it off. “He’s not afraid of them, trust me. And you’re not going to fail. You’re doing amazing work, sweetheart.” My heart fluttered at ‘sweetheart’ just as he squeezed my hand in encouragement. “Who else are you worried about failing?”

  I dropped my gaze to our joined hands and muttered, “You.”

  “Me? Why?”

  “I don’t want to disappoint you. You’ve been so great to me, helping me, looking out for me. You have your own lines to read, your own process to go through, but you spent the whole week making sure I was okay. Making sure I was comfortable and asking for breaks whenever I started to lose my cool. I don’t want to screw up after all you’ve done to help me make it as Meadow. I know if I have to be replaced with someone more…familiar with the process, it will cause setbacks for everyone. I would hate to do that but I’d especially hate to do that to you. I owe you better than that.”

  Gavin reached out with his free hand, placing it under my chin and gently nudging until I looked up. “You could never, ever disappoint me. I think you’re a fucking rock star. You’ve handled all this like a pro, and I am so damn proud of you.”

  I tried to look away but he gripped my chin, holding me in place while he met my eye. “I’m helping you because I believe in you, not because it’s what’s best for the show. Don’t ever think otherwise. I like you, Kaiti. I like spending time with you. I like that you’re not pretentious and you keep the drama on the show and nowhere else. I like that we make each other laugh. You’ve made work fun again for me when I’d forgotten what it was to truly enjoy my job. You don’t owe me anything, Kaiti-girl. I owe you.” His gaze strayed to my mouth and his tongue swiped his lower lip. The air around us seemed to come alive, a crackle of anticipation was all around us like heat lightning.

  He shifted in his seat as his thumb swept over my jawline. His gaze was intense, focused and hungry. My pulse buzzed in my ears, and my skin burned under his fingers. He started to lean across the table, rising slightly from his seat while his gaze stayed locked on mine. I could barely breathe, the anticipation growing with the passage of each excruciating second. My tongue flickered across my lips, wetting them in anticipation of his kiss.

  This was it...

  Just then, the server walked in with our food, effectively squashing the moment as Gavin dropped back down into the booth and offered her a polite smile.

  He gave me a fond look as she placed the steaming plates in front of us but didn’t move to pick up where we’d left off once she was gone.

  He looked a little disappointed though, which made me feel better because I was a lot disappointed.

  After that, we got back to normal chatter, nothing heavy or overly flirty—though we did hold hands after we finished eating and continued to do so all the way to our cars. He didn’t kiss me when we parted ways, but I could have sworn the look on his face said he wanted to.

  We spent the entire weekend texting, but didn’t see each other again until Monday. That week went much smoother than the last, with a lot more sneak-flirting added in. He constantly found reasons to touch me or sit next to me and I found myself gravitating toward him the few times he didn’t initiate it.

  It was hard not to be obvious about it but we seemed to be pulling it off fairly well.

  We went out for French toast again the next Friday and got the same table from the week before, but this time when I slid into the booth, Gavin slipped in beside me rather than sitting on the other side. We eventually shifted until we were so close that our bodies touched.

  When our coffee was poured and our orders were placed, Gavin turned to me. “Another week in the books, Kaiti-girl.” He lifted his mug and I clinked mine against it in a toast.

  “You know, I have to do something about my regular job soon. I’m almost out of vacation time and eventually, the ‘family emergency’ excuse isn’t gonna fly anymore. Even if it did, when my first episode aired, I’m pretty sure that would let the cat out of the bag in a big way.”

  He threw his arm behind me on the back of the booth as he turned. “Do you want to keep that job? I mean, is it what you really want to be doing?”

  “Assuming they don’t fire me for lying, you mean?”

  He nodded.

  “I guess so. I mean, Meadow could still be written out in the next few weeks—we don’t know yet. How can I give up my steady job that’s been paying the bills just fine for a maybe job that will probably fizzle out within the next year, tops?”

  “That’s not what I asked you.” He grazed the back my neck with his knuckles, making me shiver. “Forget the show. If you knew for sure they’d write you out in a month, would you be disappointed when you rolled into that factory on your first day back?”

  I scoffed, wiping at a spot on the table with my napkin, trying to ignore the heat I felt from where he was touching me. “I feel that way every time I go to that place, but it’s stable and their payroll checks don’t bounce, so I do my job and pay my bills. It’s not supposed to be a grand adventure. It’s just a job—a means to an end.”

  “If you could do anything, have any job in the world, what would you want to do?” He was studying me again. I could feel the heat of his gaze on me as he spoke.

  I thought about it for a minute and shrugged. “I honestly don’
t know. Something I believe in, something that matters and accomplishes more than funding my electricity and grocery expenses.”

  He nodded, not speaking, and I knew then that’d I’d be calling in my resignation on Monday. If they wrote me out of the show, I’d find something I could be proud of even if I had to live on Ramen and tap water while I searched. I’d survived on a hell of a lot less. But I was starting to hope that they’d keep me on as Meadow, which was dangerous.

  The food came and we quietly ate, our sides touching. Occasionally, he’d lean harder against me, nudging until I looked up at him. Every time, I was rewarded with one of those dead-sexy winks that made my heart skip a beat.

  He was so damned attractive I could hardly stand it.

  Like the Friday before, we held hands and flirted but that was it.

  Every time he touched me, my whole body heated in anticipation. It was driving me crazy, wondering when it was going to happen, wondering if it was going to happen. The buildup was killing me, which I think was why Gavin was holding out.

  He seemed to like seeing me frustrated.

  Damn tease.

  The following Friday, after a long week spent shooting and flirting, we left the set at nearly four AM—which made it Saturday morning but the days ran together after a while. We’d decided to forego our usual early morning calorie fest in favor of desperately needed sleep. It wasn’t a decision either of us made lightly, though.

  I was a disturbing mixture of tired and wired—the latter thanks to the double shot iced espressos one of the PAs had so thoughtfully procured for the entire cast.

  Gavin appeared to be in the same boat, as he strode up behind me and threw an arm over my shoulder—one of my favorite Gavin-isms. “So, we’re off for a whopping fifty hours. What big plans does Kaiti-girl have for the rest of the weekend?” He sounded almost stoned, a by-product of the long days and massive caffeine consumption.

  “Sleep is priority number one. And food, but only stuff I can have delivered and eat in bed.”

  He kissed the top of my head, his lips lingering as usual as we made our way to the parking garage—he walked me out every night. “Careful, you’re turning into one of those wild-child starlets the tabloids are always talking about.”

  I shrugged as much as I could with him leaning on my shoulders. “I’m just me. You have to remember that my idea of a wild night is boozy ice cream and Netflix.”

  “Sounds like heaven, Kaiti-girl,” he mused quietly.

  “You’re welcome to come by for some delivery Chinese and binge-watching.” I didn’t know where it came from, the invitation just popped out, but I was glad when I saw his smile widen. He hadn’t been back to my apartment since that first weekend.

  “Best offer I’ve had in ages. I’ll even bring ice cream for your boozy floats.” He squeezed my shoulder. “See you around six?”

  “It’s a date,” I blurted automatically, then cringed. Shit.

  He stopped me a few paces from our cars—which were parked side by side today—and did something incredibly unexpected.

  He kissed me.

  Not the top of the head we’re-just-friends kiss, either.

  He leaned down, cupped my cheek with one warm hand, and pressed his impossibly soft lips to mine. Just for a second, just that one time, and just enough to make my whole body light up. Then he pulled back and waited for my eyes to open.

  When I looked up at him, he smiled and brushed a stray lock of hair from my face. “It’s a date, Kaiti-girl.”

  I was still standing there with my hand to my chest and my heart in my throat when he drove away.

  Holy shitballs!

  I had a date with Gavin-damn-his-lips-are-soft-Lane!

  Dear God,

  Thanks for not hitting me with the previously requested lightning bolt. I would have hated to miss that kiss.

  Amen.

  Seven

  Kaiti

  I obsessively cleaned my apartment for hours—after collapsing into my bed for a much needed ten-hour near-comatose nap. My hair was freshly washed and bound in a towel atop my head while I did my best to create a casual look with my makeup, briefly wishing that I could call one of the super-talented makeup artists from the show to help me out. My hands shook so hard I was afraid I’d blind myself with my mascara wand.

  And there was no way in hell I was attempting liquid liner. No way. I could barely manage that when I was perfectly calm.

  I tried not to be nervous, but who the hell wouldn’t be? Sure, I’d been spending a lot of time with Gavin over the past few weeks, and we’d been flirting like crazy but this was…it was a date. And last night, that had been a kiss. A real one.

  I’d never ever felt about a guy the way I felt about Gavin. Nothing else I’d ever had was even in the same ballpark. It was exciting and addictive and scary as fuck.

  I wanted so badly to talk to Evie but I couldn’t. Dammit. Of course, even if I wanted to tell her everything via email, she’d been radio silent since she left, probably too tied up with her sweetheart to worry about Wi-Fi. And until now, I’d been too busy to dwell on it, though I still missed her terribly.

  I finished grooming five minutes before Gavin was due to arrive, and paced the floor until the knock at the door cemented my feet to the hardwood. I had to stand there and give myself a pep talk—the old ‘if he hasn’t run away screaming yet, maybe he never will’ spiel—before I could manage a step in that direction.

  “Coming!” I called, taking a quick peek in the mirror by the door. Hair and makeup holding up so far. Here’s hoping I can do the same.

  I swung the door open and was met with his dazzlingly perfect smile.

  “Hey there, new girl. I brought ice cream and booze.” He winked as I stepped aside to allow him entry. Without hesitating, he headed to the kitchen and began unloading the bags he’d been carrying. “I got mint chip and peppermint Schnapps, as expected, but I also grabbed rocky road and some marshmallow vodka, in case you were in the mood to change it up.”

  “They both sound amazing. Thank you.” I put the ice cream in the freezer and turned back just as he was putting the bags in the trash.

  He stopped and looked at the small, framed needlepoint directly above the can, reading it aloud. “Don’t forget the booby trap.” There was an image of an unhooked pink bra beneath the text. He turned to me with a baffled look, one corner of his mouth turned up.

  I nodded, chuckling. “Inside joke.”

  “With who?”

  “Evie.” I was so thoroughly enjoying the look on his face that I hated to explain, but I ended up feeling bad for confusing him so I let him in on the joke. “The night I moved into this apartment, Evie came over and we watched the first few Pirates of the Caribbean movies—marathon style.” I shook my head at the memory. “We were halfway through the third movie, munching on popcorn and drinking beer, when I shifted on the couch and realized how much popcorn had inadvertently fallen into the V-neck shirt I was wearing.”

  He chuckled, waiting for the punch line.

  “So, I came over to the trash can, pulled the bottom of my shirt and my bra away from my chest and let the wayward pieces fall into the bag. Evie, drunken loon that she is, leaned over from behind me and started singing ‘gotta empty that booby trap’ directly into my cleavage.”

  Gavin was shaking his head, laughing hard as he pointed to the frame. “And, what? She made this to commemorate the occasion?”

  “Nah. You’d be surprised what you can buy on the internet.” I pointed to the door. “I used to have one outside my door that said, ‘Come back with a warrant,’ but someone stole it.”

  He cracked up at the irony.

  When he was done, he leaned against the counter and grinned, simultaneously calming me with his presence and amping up my nerves because he was so incredibly sexy when he smiled that way. “I have to admit, I was kind of nervous about tonight.”

  I did a double-take. “You? Why the hell were you nervous?”

  “
Why not? Because I’m a guy?”

  “No,” I blurted. “Because you’re Gavin-fucking-Lane.”

  He smiled. “And you think because I’ve been on a lot of ‘dates,’” he used air quotes, “that this is no big deal for me. Is that it?”

  I found myself fidgeting under his intense stare. “Well…yeah. I mean, I know why I’m nervous. I’ve dated but not very much and not recently. And you’re…well…Gavin-fucking-Lane so that makes it even more intimidating.”

  “I don’t want to intimidate you, Kaiti. I just want you. I have for a while now. Everything about you is attractive. Hell, I can’t even look at you without wanting to touch you and that’s not something I’ve ever experienced before, so yeah, I’m nervous.”

  Gulp.

  He didn’t mean that, did he?

  He gave me a steady look, letting me know he’d intended to say exactly that. “You seem surprised.”

  “Stunned. Seriously stunned.”

  “That I find you that damned attractive or that I was so blunt about it?”

  I forced a swallow. “Both?”

  He shook his head, still smiling. “I thought you liked bluntness.”

  “I said I am blunt.”

  He stepped closer, closing the distance between us until I had to tilt my head back to hold his gaze. “So, be blunt now, Kaiti. Are you attracted to me?”

  “Yes,” I croaked, unable to look anywhere but his deep, emerald eyes.

  “Because I’m Gavin Lane?”

  “No,” I replied immediately, giving my head a little shake.

  “Then why?”

  “Because you’re not what I expected.”

  “Meaning?” His hands came up to rest on my hips, the heat of them practically burning through my clothes.

  “You’re kind and funny and sexy without needing to flaunt it in people’s faces. You’re famous, but you don’t seem to like attention, and you’re smart as hell, which is the sexiest thing about you.”