The Blue Pool

by Siobhan MacDonald

  “What the hell…?” Sarah said, throwing her arms in the air.

  “What did you say to piss her off? What happened to our lift?” asked Kathy, peevishly.

  “Thanks for that,” said Ruth, annoyed. “I tried. Not enough room for three of us, she said. Didn’t stop the nosy bat giving me the inquisition though.”

  “I hope every single shitty book in her shitty library falls off her shitty shelves,” said Sarah.

  Fifteen more minutes went by. So did an empty school bus and three more cars. Two of the cars were full with passengers. That didn’t stop them waving cheerily at the girls. The next car that came along was a white Mercedes with a trailer – its driver so busy excavating his nose he didn’t even see them as they jumped up and down and waved their placard.

  “Okay that’s enough – we need a change of tack,” said Sarah.

  Ruth and Kathy exchanged glances as Sarah went off to fill her pockets with stones.

  What was she up to now? Ruth had to admire her spirit. She’d kept them amused for the last two hours. Not like Kathy who was now banging on about being hungry. Ruth had a Mars bar and an apple in her rucksack. But she wasn’t telling her. All she’d done was moan all morning.

  Looking at her watch again, Ruth began to feel on edge. She’d relax if she knew they’d have a ride within an hour. The clouds were even more threatening and the sun had completely gone. Balls of low-hanging mist were floating across the fields like tumbleweed.

  “Look!” Kathy shouted.

  Sarah had crafted SOS in stones on the road. She’d hitched her skirt to her thighs, and fashioned her hair into pigtails. Her placard now read ‘TENNIS?’

  “If you think that will work, you really are a nut-job,” said Ruth laughing.

  “I’ll crack up if we don’t get a lift soon. If I’d known we’d have all this hassle for the sake of a few lousy beers –”

  All three of them heard it.

  The unmistakable sound of an exploding exhaust. All three looked at each other. Ruth could just about make out the white blob coming towards them.

  “Shit. It’s them. The terrorists.”

  Ruth scuffed out the stony writing destroying Sarah’s SOS. Next, she grabbed her rucksack from the ditch and the three students ran behind the mound of stones and crouched low, scarcely daring to breathe.

  “This is ridiculous,” whispered Kathy. “They’re not bloody terrorists. You two are nuts.”

  “Shut up and stay down,” ordered Ruth. “I don’t want anything more to do with those guys.”

  “I don’t care what they are,” said Kathy. “I just want a lift.”

  “So do we all,” hissed Ruth. “But we’re not getting into a car with those guys again, okay? I was wasted last night. That’s the only reason I did. They’re going the wrong way anyway.”

  As if in salute, as the butcher’s van drove by its exhaust exploded. Ruth allowed herself to breathe as it passed out of sight. Perhaps Kathy was right. They were being over-cautious. But after two hours on the road she was losing perspective. She was hungry too. Time for that Mars bar. As she tore off the wrapper, she could feel Kathy staring.

  “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s goods,” she said, biting in.

  “Aw, come on, can I just have a one tiny bite?” asked Kathy.

  “Don’t you have anything of your own to eat?” asked Ruth. “Nothing at all?”

  “I didn’t pack anything. I didn’t feel like eating earlier.”

  “Oh go on then… just one bite,” Ruth relented, handing her the bar.

  “Thanks…”

  With one large bite at least half the bar disappeared. Ruth stared at her in disbelief.

  “What?” Kathy said as she chewed.

  “What!?” Ruth was apoplectic. “Are you for real? I said a bite and you’ve nearly taken the bloody lot.” Ruth grabbed what remained of the bar. Kathy had really done it now.

  “It’s only a bit of bloody chocolate.”

  “My bloody chocolate,” growled Ruth. She was livid.

  “Shut up, you two,” Sarah interrupted. “There’s something coming. A milk lorry, it looks like. You guys stay there. My turn now. I’ll get it to stop – you wait and see,” and off she wiggled into the road with her placard.

  They watched as sure enough Sarah got it to stop in a scrunch of brakes and gurgling diesel. Sarah walked to the far side of the lorry, and Ruth could just picture her purring at the cabin window. Something Ruth could never do. Seconds ticked by, the driver glanced in Ruth and Kathy’s direction, and back again to Sarah. Ruth held her breath. Fingers crossed. Next, the engine roared into action and the silver barreled lorry lumbered down the road.

  Head bowed, Sarah traipsed across the road.

  “Don’t tell me, he prefers badminton?” Kathy said.

  “I’m really sorry,” said Sarah, looking ridiculous with her disheveled makeshift mini-skirt. “It’s the same old story – he’d take two of us but not three.”

  By now the solution to their problem was staring them in the face. It was time to make a decision.

  “Okay guys, It’s coming up to midday and we haven’t had one offer of a lift yet. It’s pretty obvious what we have to do,” said Ruth.

  “Walk back to the cabin?” said Kathy.

  She sometimes wondered about Kathy. Walk back to the cabin? To do what? How was that in any way the obvious thing to do? It didn’t even merit a reply.

  “We’re going to have to split up.” Ruth said.

  Kathy looked at her in alarm.

  Silence.

  After a moment, Sarah responded. “It’s looking that way,” she said flatly. “So, we hitch individually, is that what you’re suggesting?”

  “No, I don’t think we each have to hitch on our own. Only one person needs to hitch alone – the other two can hitch together.”

  “You’re volunteering to hitch on your own?” said Kathy, quick as you like.

  “No, I’m not Kathy,” Ruth said curtly. That would suit Kathy just fine. Presumptuous article. “We’re going to toss a coin. It’s the fair thing to do.”

  “I agree,” said Sarah.

  “Okay,” said Ruth taking charge again. “Whoever loses the first toss is in the second toss. And whoever loses that toss is hitching on their own. I know it’s not ideal. None of us wants to hitch on our own, but if we don’t split up we’ll still be here tomorrow. Agreed?”

  Kathy still didn’t look happy but she nodded.

  “Here goes,” Ruth rummaged about her jeans for a coin. No luck. Then her jacket. Nothing. She didn’t have a single copper to her name.

  “Either of you two have a coin?”

  Sarah shook her head. “Spent the last of my coppers on crisps in the pub last night,” she said.

  “How about you, Kathy?”

  “Sorry, I’m totally cleaned out.”

  This was ridiculous. Three adults. Twenty-one years of age. Not one brass penny between them. It was pathetic. Unlike Ruth, Sarah seemed to find the whole situation amusing. Picking up her placard she held it over her head and once again she sang “ We’re on the road to nowhere.”

  Kathy was staring dumbly down the front of her T-shirt and was rearranging her breasts. And then Ruth saw. She’d been staring without really seeing. Around Kathy’s neck was her St Christopher’s medal. They didn’t need a coin – that would do the job.

  “Your medal, Kathy. Could you give me your medal?”

  “My medal…what for?”

  “We’ll toss it instead of a coin,” said Ruth. “The two sides are different, I assume. It’s not the same on both sides, is it?”

  “No,” Kathy looked a little startled. “Lawrence’s name is on the other side.”

  “Do you mind?” she said as gently as she could. She knew it was a sentimental talisman.

  “I suppose… okay.” Sliding the medal off the fine silver chain, Kathy handed it over.

  “How about you and I go first, Kath,” said Ruth. “Heads
or tails? Christopher or…?” she trailed off. It seemed irreverent to invoke Kathy’s dead brother in the coin-tossing exercise.

  “I’ll go for Lawrence,” said Kathy.

  “I’ll have St Christopher,” said Ruth.

  Ruth tossed the medal, caught it on the back of her hand, and covered it with the other. She held her breath. St Christopher face-up, meant Ruth hitching to Ennis with a partner. Lawrence face-up, meant Ruth going forward into the second toss.

  In those split seconds as Ruth felt the metal warm in her palm, there was never a plan to deceive. Never a conscious decision to cheat. There was no forethought. No malice. Ruth simply reacted. Perhaps it was the subconscious result of all the frustrations, irritations, and her bewilderment at Kathy over the year. As Ruth looked at the medal, she heard herself say, “Sorry, Kath – St Christopher wins.”

  It was a lie.

  Kathy shrugged and pursed her lips. “Second time lucky,” she said.

  Ruth felt a dart of adrenaline. Why had she lied? She didn’t know. She could just as easily have told the truth. Lawrence was face-up. The words that came out of her mouth were almost involuntary. She hadn’t planned to say them. They just fell out.

  “Lawrence won’t let me down again,” said Kathy, choosing him for the second time.

  “St Christopher for me,” said Sarah.

  For the second time, Ruth tossed the medal smacking it down on the back of her hand.

  “Sorry, Kath,” said Ruth. “It’s St Christopher again.” Kathy was hitching on her own.

  Kathy burst into tears. Ruth shouldn’t feel so heartless but her store of sympathy had been raided too often throughout the year. Her reserves were running low. And she knew how easily Kathy could dissolve into tears.

  “Don’t mind me,” blubbed Kathy. “It’s just the exams and Lawrence and everything.”

  “I know, I know,” said Sarah putting an arm around her.

  “I’ve never hitched on my own,” she sniveled.

  “Don’t worry. You don’t have to,” Sarah said.

  Ruth gritted her teeth. What was Sarah suggesting? She had won, fair and square.

  “Listen. You head off with Ruth,” she said, ignoring Ruth’s dagger looks. “I’ll hitch on my own. It’ll be an adventure. My mother would have a fit if she knew. It’s worth it for that alone.”

  Ruth was furious. How could Sarah be so soft? She’d won the toss and now the silly cow was giving in to Kathy’s silly theatrics. Kathy was playing her for a fool.

  “Are you sure?” Kathy looked at her with big doe eyes.

  “Of course, no problem. You go with Ruth.”

  Ruth was disgusted at this spectacle. Disgusted at the way things had unfolded. She was the one who’d have to suffer Kathy’s company to Ennis.

  “Okay. Decision made.” Sarah clapped her hands. “You two get your asses over the other side of the road. Make yourselves look sexy because the sooner you’re out of here, the sooner I’ll be able to get a lift on my own.”

  Ruth’s plan worked. Within minutes of her and Kathy standing on the roadside, a green post office van came to a halt and offered them a lift. Sarah had hidden herself behind the mound of stones to give them every chance. For the first time that day they were in luck. The driver offered them a lift the whole way to Ennis.

  Squashing into the van beside Kathy, Ruth felt a niggle of anxiety. It was too late to change things now. As the van pulled off, Ruth took one last look in the wing mirror.

  Sarah was standing on the mound.

  She was waving.

  Kathy

  August 1991

  “I’ve just had Mrs Nugent on the phone to me.” Charlotte sounded breathless.

  It was seven thirty a.m. and Kathy was groggy. She hadn’t been expecting a phone call. And certainly not this early. Barely ten hours had passed since she’d had arrived back at the farm, frazzled from the journey home. She shivered in pajamas in the hallway. Charlotte was sounding really weird.

  “Mrs Nugent? What does she want?”

  “Sarah didn’t arrive home last night,” said Charlotte.

  “Ha ha. Very funny, Charlie.”

  “I’m not joking, Kath.”

  It took a few seconds to sink in.

  “Are you there, Kath? Did you hear what I said?”

  Kathy was speechless. This was the last thing she’d expected. “What do you mean, she never arrived home?”

  “Just that, Kath. I can’t say it any plainer. Sarah never showed up in Dublin. She never got home.” Charlotte sounded shaky. “Mrs Nugent rang to see if we’d had a change of plan. As far as she was concerned, Sarah was coming home last night. So she rang to see if Sarah was with any of us. I explained that she certainly wasn’t with me, but that I’d check with you and Ruth.”

  “Well, she’s certainly not with me,” said Kathy, “and I also doubt if she’s with Ruth.”

  “Yeah, I know that,” said Charlotte, “I’ve already rung Ruth.”

  This was not good. This was not good at all.

  Kathy had a really bad feeling. A truly bad feeling. Breathe. Let the breath out slowly. Breathe again. She squeezed her eyes shut. She tried to squeeze the badness out. But it was here again. She knew it. Exactly like before. Like when she’d been in college and got the message to phone her mother and father back home. Before she’d found out about Lawrence.

  “Does Mrs Nugent know that we were hitching?” Kathy forced the words out.

  “She knows,” said Charlotte. “I had to tell her…” She sounded apologetic. “I told her you three were hitching to Ennis, to get buses and trains.” Charlotte paused again. “Oh God, Kath, you should have heard her. She went absolutely crazy. Said she’d warned Sarah never to hitch a lift. That Sarah had promised her faithfully she wouldn’t.” Charlotte stopped to catch her breath. “I explained to her that we’d run out of petrol money, and that was why you three had agreed to hitch.” Charlotte sounded like she was blowing her nose. “I felt absolutely dreadful, Kath. Like really bloody awful.”

  Kathy could just imagine an apoplectic Mrs Nugent on the phone. What would Sarah’s mother do when she found out that the three of them hadn’t even stuck together? It didn’t bear thinking about.

  “I don’t suppose she knows that the three of us split up?” Kathy asked, her voice full of fear. The hallway suddenly seemed cavernous, her voice echoing off the walls.

  “Split up?”

  There came a long pause.

  “What do you mean split up, Kath?” Charlotte sounded very wary.

  Charlotte didn’t know? That was so weird. How could Charlotte not know? She’d just been talking to Ruth.

  “That’s right. We split up,” Kathy repeated. “We tried for nearly two hours to get a lift together, but no one would take three of us. No one had room for three, you see. So we split up. Ruth didn’t mention it?”

  “No, no she didn’t,” Charlotte said. “I guess I was only on the phone to her for a few minutes, just to check if Sarah was there.”

  Silence again.

  Charlotte was probably trying to get her head round this turn of events. So too was Kathy. Why hadn’t Ruth told her they’d split up? It didn’t make sense. And then it dawned on her. Ruth was trying to cover for her. Not wanting the situation to reflect more badly on Kathy than it needed to. It didn’t reflect at all well on Kathy that she’d lost the toss and yet she’d allowed Sarah to go off alone. It didn’t look good at all. That was it. Ruth was a loyal friend. She’d kept her mouth shut.

  “Alright, Charlie, so here’s what happened…” Kathy suddenly found herself giving an abridged account of what went on. The words came tumbling out, sliding one over the other. “Sarah said she’d hitch on her own,” Kathy began. “I know we shouldn’t have done it. I know we shouldn’t have split up. We shouldn’t have let her go off on her own. But Christ, if you had been there, Charlie… the mist came down… it was bloody miserable. Total crap. We waited. For ages and ages.” Kathy could feel a ris
ing panic as she remembered. She was babbling. A torrent of words gushed out of her. She was verging on hysteria. “There wasn’t a soul… lorries and cars… they stopped but then drove off… I’d visions of us being on that road forever… another hour passed… famished, we were so bloody hungry and it was getting later and later –”

  “You okay?” Her dad popped his head round from the kitchen door with a look of concern.

  Kathy nodded her head, waving him back into the kitchen. Keep it together, Kath. She didn’t want her bereaved parents getting wind of any of this. It was the last thing she needed.

  “For fuck’s sake!” Charlotte exploded. “I should have given you all a lift back to Ennis. Then this never would have happened. This is all down to my bloody bright idea. All this, for a lousy beer.”

  Kathy giggled. She’d always had the unfortunate habit of laughing at the wrong time There was nothing remotely funny about the situation but anxiety was making her really nervous.

  “Are you laughing?” Charlotte sounded incredulous. “For fuck’s sake, tell me you’re not laughing, Kath. It’s not funny,” she said. “Where the hell is Sarah? This is not like her, not like her at all. Okay, we all know she doesn’t get on well with her mother but she’d never not show up like that. Sarah’s not stupid. Sooner or later she’ll have to face the consequences. Christ, did Sarah even make it to Ennis?” Charlotte was freaking out now.

  “I don’t know, Charlie. I don’t know. I don’t know where she is. Please stop shouting at me.”

  Kathy’s laughing fit had evaporated.

  “I’m sorry, Kath. I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. But do you have any ideas where Sarah could be? Any at all?”

  Kathy had ideas okay, but all of them were scary. What Charlotte had said was true. It was unlike Sarah not to return home. No matter how much she liked to goad her mother she wouldn’t do this to her.

  Kathy remembered Sarah’s devilish delight at the prospect of hitching against her mother’s wishes. But that was purely mischief, not malice. Sarah wouldn’t deliberately worry her mother like this. And yet, if Kathy took this line of argument to its logical conclusion, it could only mean one thing – that Sarah had indeed meant to return home, but for some reason had been prevented from doing so. It was a thought that brought cold comfort.