Dust of My Wings

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  She was dead.

  He hadn’t truly thought about her in ages. The Angelic Wars had ended over eight-hundred years ago, and she’d been gone just as long. Why was he thinking of her now? Because of Lily?

  She didn’t have Lily’s smile. No, Lily was warm while Cora had been cool; but then Cora had been a warrior like him. She could fight better than anyone he’d known except for Ambrose and himself. She had been fierce and intelligent with harsh curves. Not like Lily or his own sister, Ilianya.

  Shade sighed and held his head in his hands. Ilianya had been a soft angel, the softest. His sister had married a cool and collected angel: his best friend, Ambrose. She and Ambrose had had two children, a son named Nathan, and a daughter, Laura. Ilianya had been pregnant with their third when the Angelic Wars had taken her and the children. No one had been safe. The battles hadn’t been fought on some distant plane or battlefield. No, they’d happened at their front doors and in their homes. That’s why the cost had been so high. They’d not only lost warriors, but their families, as well.

  Shade held back a sob. He hadn’t cried for them in centuries. There wasn’t any point. Tears wouldn’t bring Cora back, wouldn’t bring the sound of children laughing, or his sister singing while she danced in air. It wouldn’t bring any of that back.

  Shade closed his eyes and fought back the memories.

  “Shade, you’ll have to do better than that to catch me.” Cora gave a cool smile then winked before jumping off the ledge, the wind catching her gray wings.

  Shade laughed and jumped behind her, the cool breeze catching him on a draft. “I do not need to catch you, Cora. You will come to me eventually.”

  She twisted in the air then landed on a ledge. “Cocky.”

  Shade landed beside her and lifted a brow. “Just stating the facts.” He took a deep breath and stepped toward her, but he didn’t touch her. “I don’t want you to be fighting in this next battle.”

  She threw up her hands cursing under her breath. “Every time, Shade. Every time. It’s so frustrating! I’m a warrior angel. I may be forty years younger than you, but I’m way past the age of adulthood. I’m capable of doing this. Are you doubting me?”

  Shade pinched the bridge of his nose. “I know you can do this, Cora. I just have a bad feeling about this particular battle. Can’t you stay behind with Ilianya? Just this once?”

  Cora stood toe-to-toe with him, an icy glint in her eyes. “I will do what I have to, to protect our people. Don’t stand in my way, Shade. You may love me, but that doesn’t give you the right to control me.”

  He sighed and lowered his head. “Just be careful.”

  “I always am.”

  Shade pulled himself from his memoires. It would do no good to dwell on them. Cora was long gone. His job now was to make sure he kept Lily ignorant of the truth about him and his mission. He could fall for her; he knew it. He couldn’t allow that to happen because those he loved always died. Not to mention he was an angel and she was a human. He’d live for eons and she’d die tomorrow or in a matter of decades. He didn’t want to watch her grow old while he stayed young. It wasn’t fair to either of them. Lily was already in danger. He didn’t need to add anything else to the pile.

  ****

  The rain poured down outside her apartment, and Lily shuddered. Thank God she and Jamie decided to stay in and play dominos. She set down a double-three piece and smiled. She was almost out of pieces and Jamie still had a few more, though Lily had an odd amount of pieces and that was frustrating because even numbers were better. She let the thought of the other numbers on the board calm her. Yes, she was OCD, but she dealt with it in her own way.

  Nausea rolled through her, and she flexed her fingers and closed her eyes. It had been like this since the lightning strike. They should have gone to the hospital right away. For some reason, they had all decided that they would be fine. It had been as if some invisible force had held them back. Even now, when she thought about going to see a doctor, something in the back of her mind urged her not to go.

  Whatever it was, it made her nervous, but not as much as the thought of her date that night with Shade, a man she barely knew. Who was this woman? Certainty not Lily Banner, the OCD lab tech who had only had one prior relationship—a relationship that had gone nowhere because she had been too blind to see what was in front of her. Lily was a good girl. Yet every time she saw Shade, she wanted to be naughty. Real naughty.

  Yes, it was just a date with Shade. That’s all he said anyway. Then she remembered the molten looks and the tingling touches, and she wanted to melt on the spot. She had a feeling she wouldn’t be sweet Lily after she went out with Shade. No, she’d be wanton Lily. She was okay with that.

  Well, mostly.

  She really, really wanted Shade. He was the man of her dreams, literally. She’d seen her blue-eyed man before. That night after the lightning had struck, she’d seen a face in her dreams. Shade’s face. It hadn’t been too clear, but now that she thought about it, she knew it had been him.

  Was it fate’s way of saying she should take a chance with him?

  She smiled. No, she couldn’t think that way. It was just a coincidence. Shade was just a blue-eyed, dark-haired stranger. There were tons of them in the world. Shade wasn’t anything special.

  Now she was just lying to herself.

  There was something odd about this stranger. She couldn’t put her finger on it. It was as if a weird energy surrounded him; which made it even odder since she normally didn’t notice that type of thing. Maybe it was just the fact that he was ultra-sexy and those were hunky vibes or something.

  “Lily? It’s your turn.” Jamie waved her hand in front of Lily’s face, and Lily blinked.

  “Oh, sorry. I was distracted.” She looked down at her pile and carefully placed her pieces so the edges matched perfectly.

  “Really?” Her friend grinned, and Lily blushed. “Are you thinking about Shade?”

  Lily sighed and closed her eyes. “Yes, you know it. God, what am I doing? I don’t even know this man, and I’m going on a date with him.”

  Jamie picked another piece from the boneyard and then played it. “You know him enough, Lily. That’s what dating is for; to get to know people. Unless you start dating your best guy friend, you’re pretty much going to meet a stranger.”

  “That doesn’t alarm you in any way?” She set down another piece and straightened it.

  “Of course it does. What was the last time you’ve seen me on date?”

  “True.”

  Jamie stuck out her tongue. “Jerk. You’re a nun just like me.”

  “Until recently.”

  “So, Lily, what did you think about drinks last night? You at least had a little bit of fun, didn’t you?”

  Lily smiled and bit her lip. “It was so nerve-wracking. What was I thinking having him come to my favorite place and meet my friends? Isn’t that supposed to be date five or something?”

  Her friend shrugged and ran a hand through her bangs. “I’m not sure. You were going to go out to coffee with him until Glenn called, so it wasn’t as if you had planned it that way. Plus, we’re very protective of you, and you didn’t invite Faith. You saved Shade with that one.”

  They laughed, and Lily shook her head. “You’re bad. Completely correct, but bad.”

  “I try.”

  “Last night was fun. I mean you got to meet Shade and his friend Ambrose. What did you think of him anyway?”

  Jamie blushed. Interesting. “He was okay.”

  “Really? Just okay?”

  “Okay, he was hot. There. I said it.”

  Lily laughed. “He was hot, though the white-blonde hair isn’t my thing.”

  “I know, you like the dark and mysterious type, hence Shade, but I think I like blonds. Or, in Ambrose’s case, the really blond. Not that it matters.”

  “Why?”

  “Uh, have you looked at me? I’m about the plainest person you’ve ever seen. Ambrose didn’t even no
tice me unless he glared at me.”

  “Okay, you’re not plain. Shut up. When did this happen?”

  “If you had bothered to take your eyes of Shade for a moment, you would have noticed, but it’s okay. Really.”

  Damn. Talk about being a bad friend. “I’m sorry, Jamie.”

  She waved her hand in front of her face. “It’s fine. I was probably imagining it anyway.”

  “Well, I’m sorry anyway.”

  “At least I wasn’t in Nadie’s shoes last night?”

  “What do you mean? How much did I miss last night?”

  Jamie smiled and put a piece down. “I’m glad to see you were so focused. Haven’t you noticed Nadie has been acting odd whenever she’s in the bar?”

  Lily thought about it. “You know, she has been acting odd; like she has a shorter temper or something.”

  “Could it be because of what happened?”

  Lily shook her head. “No, it started before that. Oh, and that reminds me, what was with Dante last night?”

  “I know! He was acting so territorial and growly toward Ambrose and Shade. I was surprised he didn’t mark his territory or something.”

  “Eww. Totally not okay. Maybe it’s something along those lines though. I think it’s because Shade and Ambrose are the first men any of us have brought around. Maybe he was just jealous or something.”

  “Like he wants you?”

  Lily laughed. “Oh, no. I meant like he was the only guy of our group, you know.”

  “Ah, and then these two sexy men come waltzing into his life. I could see that being it.”

  “Whatever it was, I just hope he doesn’t get his feelings hurt.”

  “Lily, Dante is a big boy; he’ll be okay.”

  “If you’re sure.” A sharp pain, a sort of energy, surged through her, and settled in her stomach. She groaned and her body jerked. It felt as if someone had pushed her into an electric fence.

  “Lily? Are you okay?”

  She opened her mouth to speak, and a piercing pain stabbed her temple. She shook her head and stood on wobbly legs.

  “Lily, what’s the matter?”

  Ignoring her friend’s worried tone, she stumbled to the bathroom, her body breaking out in a cold sweat.

  She made it to the bathroom, locked the door behind her, and gripped the rim of pedestal sink, her vision graying.

  Oh, God, what was going on? She didn’t need to throw up, but just as her body felt as though it had been drained of energy, that vibrating current surged through her again. She glanced up, and her reflection in the mirror made her gasp. Her normally pale skin appeared even more stark, but now it had also been tinged with a green hue. However, that wasn’t what made her want to scream.

  Her skin rippled like the sea at the beginning of a storm. Little tinges of static energy popped and lit up the room like tiny fireworks.

  She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm down, but her body shivered and broke out into a cold sweat. Minutes later, her body calmed, and a banging sound make her open her eyes.

  “Lily! Open the door!” Jamie yelled.

  Lily took a look at her reflection, and she appeared normal, just a bit sweaty. With shaky hands, she opened the door to a wide-eyed Jamie.

  “What’s going on? Were you sick?” She grabbed Lily’s hand and led her to the toilet. Lily sat on the lid and lay back against the cool porcelain.

  “I think so. I just felt a little off. I’m feeling better now.”

  “You scared me when you locked the door. Don’t do that again.” Jamie placed a cool wet washcloth on her forehead, and Lily smiled.

  “Yes, Mom.”

  “Damn straight. Really, Lily, what’s wrong?”

  Lily sighed and rubbed her temples. “I don’t know. This is the first time that’s happened. I have been feeling a bit more tired lately. Since…you know.”

  Jamie nodded, her eyes full of a quiet understanding. “Well, I haven’t had any of what you’ve been having, hon.”

  “You do look a bit more tired this morning.”

  “Gee, thanks.”

  “You know what I mean.”

  “I do, and yes, I’m a bit tired today, but nothing like what you have.”

  “It’s just a bit troubling.”

  “I know, hon, but we’ll figure it out. We have to.”

  Something was going on, and Lily was nervous as hell to figure out what. If what had just happened was only the beginning, she was in trouble.

  Chapter 10

  “What about this one?” Becca held up a red scooped-neck dress that Lily hadn’t worn in years.

  “Not this time,” Lily answered. “He’s picking me up on his bike; I can’t wear a dress.” Her body warmed at the thought of Shade on his Harley, and she smiled.

  “Oh, I remembered, but I thought you could have fun with it anyway.” Becca winked and put the dress back in the closet.

  Becca had come over a few hours after Lily had started feeling better from her episode in the bathroom to help her and Jamie get ready for Lily’s date. She and Jamie had decided not to mention what had happened to Becca for the time being since it would just worry their friend.

  Lily would have to sit down with everyone at some point and tell them what was going on. As much as she’d like to, she couldn’t bury her head in the sand anymore, though the idea seemed more appealing with each passing moment.

  “Okay, then,” Becca continued, “are we going for slutty or cute?”

  Jamie laughed and set down a sliver-glitter top and a white jean jacket on the bed in front of Lily.

  “How about sexy cute?” Lily asked.

  Oh, God. Why had she said yes to Shade? Her palms were sweating as if it was her first ever date. She’d been engaged for God’s sake.

  None of her experiences could prepare her for Shade.

  Lily drifted to the bathroom and changed into the clothes Jamie had picked out. The top and jacket set went perfectly with skinny jeans and silver boots. She’d blown out her hair and then clipped it on the base of her neck so she could wear a helmet and still look okay. Well, at least she hoped. Maybe Shade wouldn’t care about helmet hair.

  At least her boobs looked good in this top. That was something.

  She walked back to her bedroom and did a slow twirl. “So, what do you think?”

  “You look great, hon,” Jamie said.

  Becca wrapped an arm around Jamie’s shoulder and dried an imaginary tear from the corner of her eye. “They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

  They all laughed, and Lily walked to her dresser to put in some small silver hoops.

  There. She was ready. Well, as ready as she could get. She picked her up small purse and put everything in it. She’d either snap it under her jacket or put it in a side bag if Shade had one. She looked around her room and straightened the already smoothed out cream bedspread and flicked off an imaginary fuzz ball.

  “Your house is as immaculate as always, Lily. Stop worrying,” Jamie said.

  “Yep. It’s perfect, which is good because since Shade is just in town for a bit, he may not have a place to take you afterward.” Becca wiggled her eyebrows, and Lily blushed.

  A soft pang entered her heart at the thought that Shade wouldn’t be here for long. She had to remember that. He wasn’t here to stay. He’d be gone soon, and Lily would be alone with her ODC and her thoughts.

  “Lily, stop that.” Jamie smiled.

  “I know. I just need to think about tonight and not the future. It’s just a date and I need to have fun.”

  “That’s the spirit,” Becca said. “Okay, we need to go before he gets here. Keep your cellphone on and be careful. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, and if you do, make sure you take pictures.” She winked and gave her a hug, Jamie following soon after.

  Her friends left, and Lily was alone in her home, nervous as all hell. A moment later, a knock at the door startled her, and her pulse quickened.

  He was here.

/>   Okay, you can do it. Just don’t throw up.

  Lily laughed. That was a great thing to think before a date. She opened a door with a smile on her face then froze in her tracks.

  He was even more handsome now. How on earth was that possible?

  His midnight black hair hung loose, framing his face. He wore a black button-down shirt tucked into jeans with the sleeves rolled up so she could see his forearms. Damn, she wanted to lick them. Just a little taste.

  Who knew forearms were sexy?

  His dark jeans encased thick thighs and make her think of what else could be thick…

  She raised her head and blushed.

  Oh. God.

  “Hi.” Shade smiled and tilted his head.

  “Hi,” she said on a quiet exhale.

  “You look beautiful, Lily.” He tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and she shivered.

  “You do, too.” She blushed again. Soon she’d be Crayola red. “I mean you look handsome.”

  He traced her jaw with a calloused finger. “Thank you. Are you ready to go?”

  She swallowed hard. “Uh-huh.”

  Okay, she really had to remember the English language. This was getting embarrassing.

  “Okay, then.” He trailed his hand down her arm and wrapped his hand around hers. His warm skin felt like heaven against hers.

  She shook her head, clearing her thoughts. How was she supposed to get through a whole date if she couldn’t even formulate enough of a conversation to get out of the door?

  With a nod, she gripped his hand tighter and closed the door behind her. He led her to his bike, and she smiled.

  “I love it, Shade.”

  He gave a huge grin. “Thanks. This is my baby. No matter where I am, I try and take her with me.” He rubbed the leather seat, and an irrational urge to knock the bike down went through her.

  She would not be jealous of a motorcycle. Would not.

  “So, here is your helmet.” He placed it on her head and fixed the strap beneath her chin, his fingers grazing her skin. “I have some night glasses for you.” He placed yellow-lensed glasses on her face and he smiled. “I know they aren’t too fashionable, but they will keep the wind out of your eyes and help with glare.”