Faithless: A Salvation Society Novel

by Megan Green

  “I could try—” I start, but one sharp look from Shane cuts me off.

  “No, Gracie. Aunt Kate is going to sit up front next to me. Imagine how bad Daddy would feel if we got in an accident and Kate was hurt because she wasn’t in the right seat.”

  Gracie’s eyes flash to me, concern written all over her face. I give her a warm smile.

  “Tell you what,” I say, crouching down beside her. “How about this be your seat during the fireworks?” I pat one of my thighs. “And this one can be Ellie’s?” I add, patting the other.

  Gracie seems to contemplate this for a moment before nodding. “Okay, Auntie Kate. You can sit up front.”

  I grin, my eyes moving to Shane’s in amusement at getting her “permission.” Shane just shakes his head, a sideways smirk on his face as he helps Gracie into the truck.

  I use the time he’s busy to make my own way around to the passenger seat and climb inside. The last thing I want is for him to think he needs to open the truck door for me. That would make this even more awkward than it already is.

  But as soon as I think the words, I realize they aren’t true. I’d been so afraid to see Shane again after last night. My nerves had kept me up all night, and I’d chewed both of my thumbnails down to the quick during the hours leading up to this little rendezvous. But not even ten seconds after arriving, I’d already started to calm down. Being with Shane and the girls is as natural as breathing.

  It’s when the two of us are alone I have to worry.

  Shane climbs into the driver’s seat, giving me a tight-lipped smile as he turns over the ignition. Knowing him, it bothers him that I let myself into the truck. Not because he doesn’t want me here, but because, being the gentleman that he is, it probably tears him up inside to allow a woman to open her own door.

  Fortunately, the moment passes quickly, and soon we’re all singing along to the Tangled soundtrack at the top of our lungs, Shane included. I’d been momentarily shocked when the first song on the album had started. I grew up watching this movie and singing these songs. I love that it has withstood the test of time and is still a hit with kids today.

  Before long, Shane slows to a stop at a pullout on the side of the road. I look around, seeing a hill about a hundred yards out.

  I jerk my chin toward it. “Is that where we’re going?”

  Shane nods. “You won’t find a better seat in all of Virginia Beach. It’s great seeing the fireworks against a backdrop of stars instead of all those city lights.”

  We weren’t far off from the Oceanfront, but enough that I knew the light pollution would be much less visible than it would be in the stadium. The fireworks might not be straight over our heads like they would be if we were there, but something told me I’d enjoy this view much better.

  Shane and I both climb down from the truck, each of us helping one of his daughters out of their seats. Gracie and Ellie take off at a run for the hill, clearly already knowing where we’re headed.

  Shane lifts a foot on one of his rear tires, hoisting himself up and into the back of the truck. After unfastening a bungee cord, he pulls out a cooler and passes it to me.

  I take it, watching in bewilderment as he grabs an armful of pillows and blankets before hopping back down from the bed of the truck. When he sees my raised brows and the way my lips are pulled down in a frown, he stops.

  “What?” he asks, his eyes wide and his expression blank.

  “What are you doing?”

  He looks down at the objects in his arms. “Well, we can’t very well sit in the dirt now, can we?”

  He had me there. I hadn’t thought far enough ahead to consider how exactly we’d be watching the fireworks.

  “And the pillows?” I ask.

  He snorts. “Trust me. The girls will conk out about an hour before the fireworks actually start. They run and play nonstop while we’re waiting, then crash just before the show’s about to begin.”

  “You mean they’ll miss it?”

  He shakes his head. “Nah. Gracie will hear the first boom, and she’ll wake up Ellie. Ellie won’t be pleased about the interruption, but she gets over it quick.”

  “Sounds like you know exactly what you’re doing,” I observe, shifting the cooler from my left to my right hand as I start to follow behind him.

  Shane nods as he walks. “There may be a lot of shit in this world I don’t know or understand. But those two over there,” he says with a jerk of his chin toward his daughters. “Those two I know better than I know myself. At least for now.”

  I smile as I picture the girls as they get older. How soon enough, they’re not going to want their father to be so involved in their lives. How one day, he won’t be able to look at them and know every thought running through their heads.

  Or maybe he will. I hope for his sake that the three of them stay close. Hell, for Gracie and Ellie’s, too. Having a father like Shane Dempsey is a blessing a lot of kids don’t get. Hopefully they’ll understand that, even as they grow and become teenagers.

  “You’re a good dad, Shane,” I say without really meaning to.

  He stops, turning to face me.

  “Thank you, Kate. I know it sounds strange, but that’s really the only thing I want in this world. I want to make sure I’m doing right by my girls.”

  I shake my head. “That doesn’t sound strange at all. It sounds like something every father should want.”

  Unfortunately for me, not all fathers felt the same.

  As if sensing the turn my thoughts had just taken, Shane leans over and nudges me with an elbow. “Come on. Once we get there, I’ll show you the surprise I threw in that cooler, just for you and me.” He winks at me as he sets off toward the hill.

  I step carefully through the dry grass, thankful I’d had the foresight to wear comfy shoes and not something stupid like heels. I manage to make it to the base of the hill without rolling an ankle, but once I get there, I realize how steep the climb up is.

  “You didn’t tell me there’d be exercise involved in this activity!” I shout at Shane as he’s already halfway up.

  He turns, a bark of laughter coming down to meet me. “Oh, come on, Mitchell. My three-year-old daughter climbed this hill without breaking a sweat.”

  “Your three-year-old daughter doesn’t have an extra ten pounds around her midsection from her late-night ice cream habit,” I retort.

  Dropping the pillow and blankets, he begins his way back down the hill toward me, his steps long and purposeful. I look around, uncertain of how I’m supposed to react to his lumbering gait, and what I’m supposed to do when he gets here.

  But before I can make a decision, he’s there, his face only inches from mine. His fingers brush mine as he takes the cooler from my hand, his other hand lifting and tracing a gentle line against the curve of my waist.

  “Trust me, Kate. There’s not a single thing wrong with your midsection,” he rumbles, his fingertips pressing deeper into my flesh. “There’s not a single thing wrong with you, period.”

  I swallow hard as I stare into his dark eyes, his look intoxicating with its ferocity. For a moment, I forget where we are, that his daughters are only a few feet away and that I’m not supposed to want him.

  I lick my lips as my gaze drifts down to his mouth, his lips parting when he realizes what I’m doing. His breath ghosts across my face, a hint of mint and something sweet invading my senses.

  So close. His lips are so close. I could just—

  “Daddy!” Gracie shouts, forcing me out of the lust-fueled haze I’d fallen into. I leap away from Shane at the same time his body springs away from mine. I’m too afraid to look at him. Too afraid of what I might see in his eyes. But his panting breaths tell me he’d been just as involved in that as I was.

  “What is it, Gracie?” he hollers, and my eyes seek out the girls. Luckily, Gracie’s head appears at the top of the hill at that moment, and I blow out a relieved sigh. They hadn’t seen us.

  “Did you bring cheesy cra
ckers? I’m hungry.”

  Shane exhales slowly, and I finally allow myself to look at him. He gives me a sheepish grin before holding up the cooler.

  “Of course, Gracie Lou Who. Got ‘em right here. Be right up.”

  Three hours later, the girls are fast asleep in the back seat of Shane’s truck, and my eyes are drifting shut from the feel of the cool night air hitting my face through my open window.

  Tonight had been amazing. Once I’d finally managed to make my way to the top of the hill, Shane had arranged the blankets and spread out the food he’d packed inside the cooler. We’d had a little picnic, the girls chattering happily as they munched on cheese and crackers and sliced fruit.

  The surprise Shane had mentioned turned out to be a bottle of wine and two plastic champagne flutes. I’d been hesitant to accept the alcohol, considering what had nearly transpired between us at the base of the hill. Keeping a clear head had seemed like the most important thing after that. But once Shane popped the cork and the sweet aroma hit my nose, I couldn’t say no.

  We’d spent the next few hours giggling and playing with the girls. Gracie had challenged us all to a game of tag—a game that she had surprisingly let her younger sister win—and I couldn’t remember a time I had laughed so hard. It had definitely been a long time.

  As Shane had predicted, the girls had passed out around seven-thirty, leaving the two of us to sit and enjoy the remainder of our wine as we waited for the fireworks to start. We hadn’t spoken much, neither of us wanting to wake the girls, but also because we hadn’t needed to. It had been nice to just sit and enjoy the crisp October air with one another.

  I was grateful he hadn’t tried to talk about what had almost happened at the base of the hill. I didn’t want to hear him tell me it was a mistake. That he shouldn’t have let himself get so close to me. That he shouldn’t have touched me. I don’t think I could have taken it had he told me he regretted it.

  But I also didn’t know how I’d react if he told me he wanted more. There’d been a few times over the course of the evening where my eyes had caught his, and for a brief moment, I’d thought I’d seen… something.

  Desire?

  Longing?

  Lust?

  I knew being with Shane would be wrong. But there was a part of me that didn’t know if I was strong enough to say no. If Shane told me he wanted me…

  Would I be able to resist the temptation?

  I’m so lost in my thoughts, in the alcohol buzzing through my veins, that I don’t realize we’ve come to a stop until Shane clears his throat. I squeeze my eyes shut tight, wishing like hell I didn’t have to open them, didn’t have to leave this perfect, perfect moment where things didn’t have to make sense.

  But like all good things, this, too, must come to an end. I blink my eyes open slowly, clearing the fog away until the world comes back into focus.

  My brow furrows when I see where we are. “Why did we come back to your place?” I’d expected Shane to drop me off at the hotel.

  Shane lifts a shoulder in a half shrug. “I thought maybe you’d want to help me get the girls to bed. Then maybe we could… talk.”

  My stomach dips. It was the moment I’d been dreading all evening. I hadn’t escaped it after all. It’d simply been delayed.

  Shane must see the hesitation on my face, because he lifts his hand back up to the gearshift. “If you’d rather I take you back to the hotel, I can. We don’t have to do this tonight.” He pops the truck into reverse.

  I reach over and place my hand on his arm, shaking my head. This was going to have to happen sooner or later. Might as well rip the Band-Aid off now.

  “No, it’s fine. You’re right, we do need to talk.”

  He shifts the truck back into park before killing the ignition.

  The next ten minutes pass quickly, Ellie and Gracie stumbling around like half-dead zombies as we attempt to get their teeth brushed and their pajamas on. I take Ellie since Gracie’s a little too heavy for me to carry, and she kisses me softly on the cheek as I lay her into bed.

  “‘Night, Auntie Kate,” she mutters as she rolls over and tucks herself down deeper into her covers. “I love you.”

  My heart stops at the sound of those three words. I’m not sure she meant to say them. They might’ve just slipped out in her sleep-filled haze. But it’s the first time I’ve heard them spoken aloud, directed at me, in over ten years.

  Hot tears sting the back of my throat as I stare down at this precious little girl. Her breathing has already evened out, her little body already fallen back into a deep slumber. I reach down and smooth a hand over her hair before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead.

  “I love you, too, Ellie. So, so much.”

  A small smile tugs at the corner of her lips when I pull back, and I tell myself it’s because she heard me. I don’t know if it’s true, but I know that smile and that thought will help me get through even the darkest of days to come.

  I back out of her room slowly, switching on a night light on the dresser before pulling the door shut gently behind me. It closes with a click, and I turn, pressing my back against the wood and breathing deeply, overwhelmed with love.

  Until the sound of Shane’s voice from down the hall hits me, and dread immediately fills my stomach as I remember the conversation we’re about to have.

  I head down the stairs while I wait for him to finish with Gracie, settling myself on the couch. I briefly wish for another glass of that wine we’d had earlier. Anything to help make the sting of what’s about to happen a little less painful.

  All too soon, I hear Shane’s footsteps as they descend the stairs, and I train my eyes on the rug in the center of the room. I hear as he walks up behind me, feel his presence as he comes to stop mere feet away. He stands in silence for a moment, and I suck in a deep breath, holding it in until my lungs burn, just waiting for the other shoe to drop.

  He’s going to tell me to leave. He’s going to tell me we can’t do this. He’s right. Of course, he’s right. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell.

  “Get up,” he finally speaks from behind me, and I flinch from the gruffness of his voice. When I don’t move to stand, he rounds the sofa, coming to a stop right in front of me.

  “Kate, please get up,” he says, this time his voice a little gentler, a little less brusque.

  With trembling hands, I push myself up off the sofa, keeping my eyes firmly on the rug. I can’t bring myself to look at him. Can’t bring myself to see the look in his eyes when he tells me I have to go.

  Tears well in my eyes as I wait, my lips curling in on themselves as I try to stifle my cries. I squeeze my lids shut, hoping he won’t be able to see my sadness.

  The soft touch of his fingertips as it brushes the hair away from my face surprises me. So much that my eyes spring open, my face lifting to his in question. But before I can open my mouth to ask him what he’s doing, his lips crash down hard against mine.

  His kiss is demanding, his tongue pushing past my lips and invading my mouth as I try to catch my breath. But the feel of him against me… his tongue on mine, his body hard as he crushes me to his chest…

  I throw myself into the kiss, my hands frantic as they claw at him, my body needing to be closer…closer…closer still. Not a sliver of space exists between us, and still it doesn’t feel like enough.

  Shane falls back into the sofa, pulling me onto his lap. His hands push into my hair, turning my face so that he can push deeper into my mouth.

  I moan as my core rocks against his hard length, whimper at the delicious friction that ignites a blaze deep within my belly. I grind myself down hard, feeling the groan that reverberates up from his chest and into my mouth.

  Our kiss lasts for seconds… minutes… hours…I have no clue the length of time that’s passed before Shane finally tears his mouth from mine. All I know is it’s entirely too soon.

  His breath is frantic as he buries his face into the crook of my neck.
>
  “You have no idea how badly I’ve wanted to do that all night,” he purrs, his voice a rich velvet to my ears.

  Placing a finger under his chin, I lift his face back to mine. “Believe me, I do.”

  “You make me crazy, Kate,” he says, his eyes locked on mine. “I don’t know what it is, but I can’t seem to stop thinking about you.”

  “The feeling is mutual,” I mutter, the breath finally reaching its way to my lungs.

  He scans my face, his eyes searching for an unspoken question. Finally, he says, “People aren’t going to like this. Us being together.”

  I shake my head. “No, they’re not.”

  “Nobody is going to understand.”

  “You’re right, they won’t,” I say as I move to slide off his lap.

  His arms circle around my waist, holding me in place.

  “But I’ve always found the best things in life are the things worth fighting for. And you, Kate Mitchell, you’re worth going to war for.”

  His hand snakes up to my neck, and he smashes my lips back down against his. I kiss him with an urgent need I’ve never felt before. I need to touch him. To feel him. To have him.

  I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t know if in the light of day, we’ll see how selfish and irresponsible we’re being. Right now, there’s only one thing I’m sure of.

  I’m in love with Shane Dempsey.

  And if this is all we can ever be, I’m going to make the most of it.

  I pull back, ripping my top over my head and tossing it on the floor behind me. Taking his hands, I place them on my breasts at the same time I grind down hard against his cock.

  “Make love to me, Shane,” I plead, kneading his fingers into my supple flesh.

  He growls, taking me by the waist and spinning us so I’m beneath him on the couch. He makes quick work of both of our jeans, and before I know it, he’s plunged deep into my wet heat.

  The feel of his girth sends a shock pulsing through my body, and I lift my hips to try and take more of his length. He slides into me so easily, it’s easy to forget how long it’s been since a man has been inside me.