The Gender End

by Bella Forrest

  I sniffled and smiled, his words like the first bit of sunshine poking through a mostly overcast day. I rested my head on his shoulder and slid my hand under his, lacing our fingers together.

  “Oh God. Henrik,” Amber breathed, and instantly that moment of joy vanished, deflated under a heavy stone. “Do you think he knows?”

  Before I could tell her about our conversation with him yesterday, the man’s own voice cut through the silence.

  “He knows,” Henrik said gruffly, and I turned to see him leaning on the door, watching us—and my heart gave a leap to see Solomon standing solemnly behind him.

  Henrik’s eyes were rimmed red, and he still looked exhausted. The two men moved into the room, and I once again threw my arms around Henrik. He accepted the hug stiffly, with a soft pat on my back.

  “I’m okay, Violet.”

  I let him go, but only because I needed to move on to Solomon, relieved to see him well. He was already hugging Amber, patting her gently atop her red curls. I thought about waiting patiently, then thought Screw it, and simply threw my arms around both of them.

  I felt Solomon adjust his grip to include me as Amber and I squeezed him and each other, then eased back.

  “I’m so glad you’re okay,” I told him. “I figured you would be, but…”

  “I’m okay. Alyssa’s friends took care of us. We didn’t meet with much resistance—I assume you all drew them off…” He trailed off, then looked away, swallowing hard. “I… I regret even going with her. Maybe if I had been with you, we could’ve…”

  “Don’t,” I said sharply, shaking my head. “We have no idea how you being with us would’ve changed things, and it’s pointless to dwell on it. What happened,” my voice caught, my mouth suddenly dry, “happened.”

  Solomon’s expression did not lighten, but he nodded sadly. “I know. I was just supposed to do something useful.”

  “You did,” Amber replied. “You were a part of getting Alyssa to help us. You kept her safe. That was important.”

  He hesitated, and then sighed. “Yeah. I guess you’re right. Is it all right if I join you?”

  Amber and I both nodded, and Solomon dragged an empty chair over to the now-crowded little table, Henrik following suit. He moved slowly, almost plodding, still favoring his injured side.

  My fear and anguish for him must have shown on my face, because he picked up a fork and said, “Violet, you don’t have to worry about me. I know the score. I made my peace with it.”

  “Just like that?” I asked, unable to stop myself, and he speared me with an angry look.

  “No, not just like that,” he said bitterly. “But I’m an old man, Violet. And I’m tired. There’s been so much hatred, so much death… I just don’t have room for any more. Losing Melissa broke my heart. Is breaking my heart. Yet in spite of that, I can’t go on feeling angry for something she wouldn’t care about anyway. I don’t have the time left to waste on it, and I suggest you don’t waste any time on it either.”

  “I’m sorry, Henrik,” I replied, contrite. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just… I wanted to know if there’s a trick to it.”

  Henrik sighed and reached over to touch my hand.

  “No, I’m sorry, Violet. I’m still a bit… raw.” He withdrew his hand to run it over his face, tugging on the edges of his beard. Leaning back in his chair, he looked at us. “I also wanted to let you all know that I’m staying here. I asked, and Morgan is allowing me to take over training in Ms. Dale’s old studio.”

  “But why?” I asked, shocked by his revelation.

  Henrik gave me a kind smile. “I’ve been told it hasn’t been changed, and I don’t want to change it. I want to spend the rest of my life doing what she did before all of this, if only so I can feel closer to her. They’re even letting me take over her apartment. Her things were boxed up after her defection, but Morgan is letting me have them. I know it sounds strange, especially since I’ve been working so hard to change Patrus in the past few days, but… I’m so tired of it all, and it’s time for me to let you kids take the reins for a bit. This is how I want to spend my remaining time on earth.”

  My heart twisted, and I offered him a shaky smile. “I understand, but… we’ll miss you, Henrik.”

  “I’m not going either,” Owen blurted, and I looked at him, my eyes going wide. He fidgeted, looking down, and, even in the midst of all this sadness and worry, I wondered if I could see a bit of pink tingeing his cheeks.

  “I’m sorry, but I need to make a fresh start. I really feel like I could do some good over here—maybe even start training to be a Matrian diplomat and change some of the antiquated laws regarding males. Besides, Morgan hasn’t been here for a while. I figure she could use a friendly face. And with Thomas…”

  He trailed off, and we all fell silent, and I felt a pang of guilt. I’d been so wrapped up in the injustice of what happened with Ms. Dale that I had… Well, it wasn’t that I had forgotten him, but I had prioritized her, and I was fairly certain that made me an awful person.

  “Owen—God, I’m sorry,” I said, and he gave me an incredulous look.

  “Why?”

  “Because! I spent all this time dwelling on Ms. Dale and how unjust it was, that… well… we didn’t talk about Thomas like we did Ms. Dale.”

  “Thomas would’ve found that sort of thing in poor taste,” Amber announced, picking at her food again. “We talked about it once—I can’t for the life of me remember how we even got there—and he said it was the worst part of funerals. Everyone crying about who they lost and why they were important… It just wasn’t Thomas’ way.”

  “Doesn’t mean I’m not going to miss him,” Viggo said softly, and I looked over at him. He met my gaze, his eyes still red and filled with grief. “He saved all of our lives, and gave us every opportunity to put an end to all this madness.”

  “Him and those damned odds,” Henrik said, tugging at his beard. “He and Melissa both… They just wanted to keep everyone safe, no matter what the odds. When they put their minds together…” He looked up, his eyes bright with unshed tears. “They were impossible to argue with.”

  “Thomas was my best friend,” Owen added. “I could never understand why, but I… I loved him. And God, I miss him.”

  “We all do,” I whispered. “Even me. I know he and I didn’t get off on the right foot, but…”

  “He respected you a lot, Violet,” Owen interjected with a sniffle. “He might not have always shown it, but… We all know how he felt about emotional displays.”

  We all chuckled, but it was a somber, short laugh, because it came coupled with the knowledge that we were never going to see Thomas again, never hear him quip about the flaws in our plans or the problems with emotional decision-making.

  I exhaled sharply and leaned against Viggo, needing to touch him, to feel comforted. He leaned back into me, and we supported each other.

  “Besides,” Owen added after a long moment, a gentle smile coming across his lips, “I feel like Thomas wouldn’t want us to dwell on the past. He’d instead want to bring up the future of Patrus, and want to know what the new chancellor has planned.”

  “Oh God,” Viggo groaned, placing his face in his hands. “Why did you have to remind me?”

  “I’m so sorry, Viggo,” I breathed, appalled that my grief last night had eclipsed that turn of events, but he shook his head at me. “Have you thought about it at all?”

  “I did. Last night. I’m just… I’m still not sure what to think about it. I don’t think it’s right that you can get elected when you’re not even there.”

  “I think it’s great,” Amber said casually, taking a sip from her mug. “I mean, I would’ve much preferred Mags, but seeing as we can’t break Patrus from its patriarchy too soon… you’re my second favorite.”

  Viggo smiled at her. “Does that mean you’re coming back with us?”

  “Of course! I’m not missing my opportunity to get in on the ground floor of a brand new gover
nment! I’m aiming for Spy Master.”

  “You can’t just declare that loudly in front of half a dozen witnesses,” Logan laughed. “It kind of defeats the purpose.”

  “Yeah, yeah. So what do you say, Viggo?” she asked, leaning forward on her elbows and giving him a wide smile.

  “I’ll have to think about it,” he replied, and I felt a smile bloom on my lips—a real one. It was a moment of normalcy in the wake of turbulence, and I embraced it. Soon we’d be back in Patrus, ready to roll up our sleeves and put the country back together brick by brick. And with a little luck and a lot of love, we’d build something new and improved, ready to stand the test of time.

  It was all we could do.

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  44

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  EPILOGUE: VIOLET

  ONE YEAR LATER

  “Aren’t you ready yet?” shouted Viggo from the closet, and I ignored the question, staring at myself in the full-length mirror and adjusting my dress. I turned to one side, then the other, and sighed, running a hand over my stomach and pulling the loose yellow fabric down so that the small bump was more noticeable.

  “Honestly, Violet, we need to be in the car in ten—” I looked up in the mirror and saw Viggo emerging from the closet, his hands busy tying a black bow tie around his throat. He smiled fondly at me and dropped the untied ends of the fabric, crossing over to me. I exhaled and leaned into his chest as his arms came around mine, his large hands pressing against my stomach.

  “You look beautiful,” he breathed in my ear. “And frankly, I love that you’re starting to show. I couldn’t be more proud.”

  I smiled and tilted my head to one side, and he planted a soft kiss to my cheek.

  “I love you,” I told him.

  I felt his smile as he pressed his lips to my cheek yet again. “I love you.”

  He slid around to my side, pulling us together and looking at the image we presented in the mirror. It was hard not to see the subtle changes in both of us. We were both a little fuller—even though this past year had been rough—and a bit more rounded out. I had more flesh on my bones, but I was still fit, just… healthier. My skin was better, my hair growing in thick and shiny, my gray eyes luminous.

  It didn’t change the fact both of us still had nightmares that would tear us from our sleep in a panic. But we talked about them, described them to each other, and it helped soften them over time.

  The last nightmare I’d had was when I found out I was pregnant. I had been too stunned and surprised to bring it up with Viggo immediately, and had fallen asleep waiting for him to come up from one of his late-running council meetings.

  In the dream, I had been back in The Green, lying there, unable to move as all the creatures closed in. And then pain began radiating from my abdomen, and when I looked down, my stomach was flayed open, with massive black centipedes that somehow bore resemblances to Tabitha, Elena, and Desmond climbing out of my womb and heading out into the world, beginning a whole new cycle of destruction and terror… and it was all my fault.

  I woke from the terror with a cold sweat drenching through my clothes, feeling frozen to the core, afraid to look down at my belly in case I would see that my nightmare was a reality. But Viggo had been there. As always, he was right by my side to comfort me and chase away the shadows.

  It hadn’t exactly been the ideal way to tell him about the baby, but, of course, he had made it feel perfect, soothing me with his words and his hands.

  A sharp rap on the door leading to the hall jarred me out of my recollections, and Viggo shouted, “Come in,” as his hands went back to the tie.

  “Everyone is waiting for you and Violet, and I’m afraid they’re growing quite impatient,” Jeff announced as he stepped in. “Should I tell them you are ready, or will you need a few more minutes?”

  “We’re ready,” I announced to Jeff with a smile. He gave me a small bow, and I resisted the urge to shake him. “Jeff!”

  He smiled, his eyes twinkling. “So sorry. Habit, you understand.”

  “It’s been a year, Jeff, and frankly, I still feel weird about you serving as our butler,” I told him. “You’re not our butler, you’re our friend.”

  Jeff’s face softened as his lips curled up into a smile.

  “Violet, I’m not merely your butler—I am your secretary and bodyguard, and I consider it a distinguished honor to serve you in that capacity. Besides, this is my skillset. And, may I remind you, I would be hard-pressed to find a position better suited to my own needs in my field. So please, I beg of you, allow my attempt to preserve tradition.”

  I glared at him, but I couldn’t shake the smile from my lips.

  “Fine,” I said in mock exasperation. “Keep bowing! At least tell me—”

  “Tim and Jay are both waiting for you in the atrium,” Jeff answered me smoothly. “I’ll be coming behind with the other state officials, but you have to be there first, Violet. You’re in a critical role.”

  “I know, I know,” I breathed. “Viggo?”

  “I’m ready,” he announced as he turned, bow tie neatly tied. “Let’s go.”

  He took my hand, and the three of us exited the bedroom, heading down the hallway toward the stairs. Morgan had changed the palace quite a bit in the year she’d been queen—for the better, I thought. The carpets were a deep blue, while the walls were painted a bright, warm yellow. It seemed like nothing bad had ever happened here—it felt like nothing bad had ever happened here. It was only when I thought about it too much that a pang of loss caught me off guard.

  I missed Ms. Dale and Thomas. I thought about them every day, and I remembered every day what they had sacrificed so that we could change our world. I still wasn’t sure it had been worth it to lose them, but our world was improving. Especially after the harvest this past autumn—we’d had more than enough fresh food to feed Patrus and Matrus both, and Viggo had worked out a great trade agreement with Morgan.

  We followed Jeff outside to the car that was waiting for us. The city streets slid by as we headed for our destination, the sun still out but hanging low in the sky, giving us a brilliant view of orange and pink skies over Matrus.

  Viggo shuffled through some papers next to me—it seemed like he was always working these days, and the reports were endless—and made a pleased noise. I looked over at him.

  “What is it?”

  “It’s Alejandro’s report on The Green and the effectiveness of the filtration device we created for the river.”

  “Oh?” I sat forward, instantly excited. “And?”

  He gifted me an exuberant smile. “It works—King Patrick’s filters can effectively remove eighty-nine percent of the toxic materials, even upriver in The Green, where the toxicity is greater. Unfortunately, we don’t currently have a delivery system big enough to accommodate the whole river, and we will definitely need to set up two facilities to ensure that all the water is treated, which would mean another adventure with the MPJC.”

  I grinned at the groan in his voice. Even though it had been his idea to form the Matrian-Patrian Joint Council, he couldn’t stand it now. Mostly because it would be him and Morgana ready to get it done, while fifty statesmen and -women argued this way and that, and, more often than not, devolved the conversation into insults and name-calling. Progress, right?

  I, however, was relieved by the news, and intended to let him know.

  “That’s fantastic! Does that mean we’re scrapping the plans to go back to the Tower?”

  Viggo’s forehead wrinkled.

  “Maybe… I’d like to send an envoy on a peace mission, but with their defensive capabilities, it seems unwise right now. I’m still entertaining Amber and Logan’s crazy idea to take a heloship and explore the world around us a bit more—and they don’t necessarily have to get near that place. They are really chomping at the bit, and I can’t blame them. But we barely have our feet under us—we should learn to walk before we can…”

  He trailed off as he c
hanged papers and continued to read, another sigh escaping him. This one was heavier, reflecting his exhaustion. Luckily, by now we were both used to the highs and lows as information came across Viggo’s desk; for every good thing, there was always something to chase away the elation, some new problem or trial that needed to be faced.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Nothing—Drew wants us to be more aggressive in our demands to send a few of our own scientists to the lab where they are working on the egg, but I’m going to deny him.”

  “I’m sure if you just asked Morgan, she’d be more than willing to do that,” I replied.

  He gave me a look and smiled. “I know, but it isn’t a good way of showing we trust our neighbors.”

  “Viggo, you and I both know resentment still runs deep,” I replied, feeling saddened by my own words. It was true—there was a lot of mistrust of the other side in Patrus, even after Morgan and the rest of Matrus had made amends and continued to be helpful and accommodating at every turn. Everything Morgan had done had borne the risk of her hurting the Matrians to help the Patrians, and just like in Patrus, a small group of people complained. Although, to be fair, a small group of malcontents in Patrus complained about Viggo just as much, and often questioned Maxen’s death in the caves, calling Viggo an assassin. Luckily, it was a small part of the population, but I knew personally how much trouble a small group of people could cause when they put their minds and wills to it.

  “It will take years before everyone can ease up,” I told my husband. “Until then, let Drew have this, and just ask Morgan. It’ll be all right.”

  “You’re right, of course,” Viggo said with a sigh. “I just hate that I have to be the one to go to her asking for more when she’s gone above and beyond helping us. Our economy is still fragile, and with how low our population is… she saved us.”

  “Because she wants to show that the petty differences that held us apart are a thing of the past. But that takes time, and it takes her giving in to us every now and again. Especially where the egg is concerned. The public knows too much about it to feel comfortable with them handling it alone. As much as I hate to admit it, Drew’s right—even if he’s being obstinate about it. Just ask.”