by E. L. Todd
Beatrice crossed her arms over her chest and faced me. That guarded expression still marked her gaze. She wasn’t letting me see any part of her. She was completely closed off from me and I didn’t think she would ever let me in again.
“I wanted to apologize for what happened…” I didn’t know how else to begin this conversation. Beatrice wasn’t going to say anything and give her position away. “I…I know things are weird between us. I know our friendship is affected. But, I really want to go back to being what we were…if you’re willing.”
Beatrice obviously didn’t expect me to say any of that. Her body relaxed slightly, and her arms came down. “You don’t have to apologize for anything, Jared…I’m the one who kissed you.”
But I wanted you to kiss me. “You wanted something and you went for it. You should never be sorry for that. For what it’s worth…I enjoyed it.” I hoped by giving her some honesty she would be comfortable around me again.
“Then why did you stop it?”
Now comes the tricky part. “We’re friends and I don’t want to mess that up.”
“So…do you feel the same way?” Hope was in her voice even though she tried to hide it. It reflected in her eyes, showing her true desire.
It was even harder to keep up this act. She was right in front of me and I could have her. She wanted me and I wanted her. All I had to do was tell her how I felt and this would be over. I could hold her as long as I wanted and continue that scorching hot kiss. It was the best I’ve ever had. “You’re one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen, and obviously I love who you are on the inside. You’re my best friend. But…I don’t want to be anything more than friends.” It killed me to say that last part. “I just don’t feel that way.” I wanted to cringe then slap myself across the face.
“Oh…” She nodded slowly, like she couldn’t process what I said fast enough. “I understand…” Heartbreak was in her eyes. It thudded like a drum. I could feel the same pain in my heart. Watching it was devastating.
Kill. Me. Now.
“What we have is pretty amazing,” I said. “I don’t want to mess that up.”
“I don’t either…” She crossed her arms over her chest again, keeping her walls up. “I just…nevermind.”
“Tell me.”
The debate was in her eyes. She finally made her decision and spoke. “You held my hand at the movies…”
So, she did know.
“And I thought…that meant something. Then you hugged me at the vineyard…and called me baby.”
Wow, I wasn’t as discreet as I thought. I wore my heart on my sleeve and paraded my feelings around like a ringing foghorn. She’d be stupid not to figure it out. How did I explain all those things? “You mean something to me. I really care about you. You’re the only person in the world who doesn’t think I’m a terrible person.”
“Because you aren’t, Jared.”
“You make me feel good about myself, which is hard to do. I guess…I like the intimacy. But it didn’t mean anything romantic.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “It just…didn’t mean anything.”
Her eyes fell once again. “I see…”
“I don’t deserve you anyway, Beatrice. You can do so much better than me.”
“What makes you say that?” The sincerity in her eyes told me she meant what she said. “Jared, you’re a great person. I wouldn’t love…care about you if that weren’t true. You’ve brought me back to life when I thought I was dead. You make me happy. You’re…my hero.”
I closed my eyes and cringed. She was torturing me. She was making my stomach do flips and my heart flutter like it had wings. “You make me happy too.”
“I’m not better than you. You aren’t better than me.”
If only that were true. “Which is why I think we should forget about this and move on. I can’t afford to lose you from my life. And it sounds like you can’t afford to lose me either.” Could this really work? Would she be my friend again?
“I don’t know…are you okay with that?”
“Okay with what, exactly?” I asked.
She looked down like she was embarrassed to say the words out loud. “Knowing I have feelings for you…” It was the first time she said it. “Doesn’t that make you uncomfortable? Doesn’t that make you not want to be around me anymore?”
I knew I had to handle this right, and I thought humor was the best option. “Girls are always into me, B. I’m used to it.”
She still wouldn’t meet my gaze.
“Come on, look at me. I’m irresistible.”
Beatrice didn’t chuckle or loosen up.
“If anything, it’s flattering. You’re the hottest chick I’ve ever seen and you actually like me? That makes me a badass.”
Finally, the corner of her lip upturned in a smile.
There we go. “Believe me, it only makes my ego bigger.”
“I didn’t think it could get any bigger.”
She was starting to come out of her shell. “You’d be wrong.”
“Apparently…”
My hands moved to her shoulders and I forced her look on me. “Friends, right?” I couldn’t lose this relationship. It was everything to me. She was the only thing that made me happy. I couldn’t have all of her the way I wanted, but this was the next best thing. I could still see her all the time, worship her from afar, and not break her heart at the same time.
She nodded. “Friends.”
Chapter Thirteen
Skye
Cayson entered the house from the backdoor. He only wore his running shorts, and his chest was bare. Sweat covered his rock-hard chest, and his hair was messy from running on the beach. He took off his headphones and tossed them on the table as he walked by.
I was sitting on the couch when the Greek god walked inside. “Have a good run?” My eyes were glued to his tight stomach and narrow hips. I loved feeling his chest against me when we made love.
He was a hot piece of ass.
“Yeah.” He grabbed some water from the fridge and down it in thirty seconds. “It’s a nice day.”
And I bet everyone who watched him run by through the window thought the same thing. “I wish I could go with you.”
“No, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing.” He approached the couch then gave me a quick kiss on the forehead. “Do you need anything?”
“No.”
“You aren’t hungry or thirsty?”
“If I were, I would just get up and get myself something.” It was unnecessary to wait on me hand and foot.
“Or you can have me do it.”
“Nah.” I turned back to my book.
“Well, I’m going to shower.” He headed to the stairs.
“Can I watch?” I blurted that out without thinking.
He turned around and gave me a smug look. “You can watch me do anything anytime.”
I tossed my book aside and hurried after him.
***
I rubbed the soap up and down his chest and didn’t pay attention to any other part of him. He’d become so strong and it was the sexiest thing in the world. Cayson had a nice body before he left, but now he was on a whole new level.
“You really like my new bod, huh?”
I kept my eyes glued to his torso. “It’s not bad to look at…”
Cayson watched me rub him up and down. “I guess I’ll work a little harder every day to say this way.”
“That works for me,” I said happily.
“I like the changes to your body too.” His hands cupped both of my breasts and squeezed. “I think about fucking these all day when I’m at work.”
“Maybe I’ll send you some dirty pictures to get you through the day…”
His eyes darkened. “I’d like that. But I’d definitely rather have the real thing.” His hands glided down to my stomach. “This baby bump is so fucking hot.”
I smiled and blushed at the same time. Who knew gaining weight would make me more attractive. It was the one thing I wa
s good at.
“I love it.” His large hand took up most of my tummy. “I want you to stay pregnant forever. And when our baby does get here, I want to have another one right away.”
“Whoa…let’s just take it one day at a time.”
His hands moved to my ass and he squeezed. “It’s hard to do that when my life is so perfect.” His lips found my temple and he gave me a gentle kiss.
I rested my face against his chest and felt the water fall down our bodies.
“We need to start getting everything ready.”
“Getting what ready?” I asked.
“The baby room, baby stuff, diapers and clothes. Stuff like that.”
Oh yeah. I’d been too absorbed with Cayson to think about it. “We should.”
“Well, we can’t decorate the baby’s room unless we know the sex.”
“Do you want to know the sex…? Or do you want to be surprised?”
Cayson shrugged. “I’ll be surprised either way. At least if we know now we can get everything ready.”
He had a point.
“Unless you don’t want to know. That’s fine too.”
I wanted to decorate the baby’s room just right. I wanted to have all the cute clothes and toys ready when we came home from the hospital. If we had to figure it out after the baby arrived, it would be hectic. “I want to know now.”
“Yeah?” His eyes filled with excitement. “So, should we make an appointment with the doctor?”
“Well, why don’t we have a gender surprise party?”
Cayson had a blank look on his face. “A what?”
“When you reveal the gender to all your friends and family.”
“Well, weren’t we going to do that anyway?” He had no idea what I was talking about.
I explained what the party was. It was more common now than it used to be. “So, it’ll be a surprise for us too. Only one person will know and that’ll set everything up. It’ll make it fun and exciting.”
Cayson nodded. “Yeah, that would be fun. But who would we have organize that? Your parents?”
“No,” I said immediately. “I want them to be surprised too.”
“Clementine?”
“She’s so busy with her own baby.”
Cayson suddenly had a tense look on his face.
“What?” I asked.
“I’m pretty sure there’s only one person we can ask.”
I wasn’t following his thought process. “Sorry?”
“Slade. It has to be him.”
“Why does it have to be him?” I asked.
“Come on, he would love to do it. He did a great job at Trinity’s bridal shower, and he’s so excited for the baby. Let him do it. That way if we don’t pick him as the godfather he’ll at least have this.”
I sighed in irritation. “Why does your best friend have to be so sensitive?”
Cayson shook his head slightly. “Because he really cares, Skye. And that’s not a bad thing.”
“I don’t know…it’s a big party. There’s a lot of stuff he needs to handle.”
“He’ll do a good job. I promise.”
Sometimes I got sick of Cayson and Slade’s unusually close friendship. Trinity and I were close, but we weren’t nearly as dramatic about it. “Okay…fine.” I couldn’t believe I was agreeing to this.
“Remember, Slade took care of you the entire time I was gone. I didn’t even need to ask him to. He took you to the doctor, drove you to work every day, and he made sure there were always groceries in the house. If anything, he earned it.”
I couldn’t deny that. Slade did wait on me hand and foot. He was even nice to me when he lived here. “You’re right…he did.”
***
Slade sat across from us at Mega Shake. His hands rested on the table and he looked anxious, practically squirming in his seat. He drummed with his knuckles while he stared us down. “So…you wanted to ask me something?”
“Yeah,” Cayson said. “Thanks for meeting us.”
Slade continued to drum impatiently. “And…?” He glanced at my stomach.
I took over the conversation. “Cayson and I have decided to find out the sex of the baby.”
“Oh…” Slade clearly didn’t expect the conversation to go in this direction. He probably expected us to ask him to be the godfather. “Well, you should. I think it’s a great idea.”
“We wanted to have a gender reveal party,” I said.
“What the fuck is that?” Slade blurted.
I turned to Cayson and silently asked him to explain.
Cayson released a sarcastic laugh before he explained what it was. “Basically, we want you to know what the sex is going to be first. Then you would organize the party and make games where everyone guesses what the sex is. Then you would do a big reveal, like opening a banner that says it’s a boy or a girl.”
Slade took all of this in, and the confused look on his face slowly started to disappear. A gentle smile formed on his lips and a touched look developed in his eyes. “You want me to know the sex of the baby first?” He clutched his chest in emotion. “You would trust me with that information?”
“Of course we would, man,” Cayson said.
“Wow…” Slade was in shock. “I…I would love to do that for you. It means a lot that you asked.”
Now I felt terrible for ever doubting him to begin with. Slade was an interesting character, but it was because he had so many layers to him. His emotions, thoughts, and personality ran so deep you can never see the starting point.
“It’ll be amazing,” Slade said. “I’ll do a great job. And I’ll keep it a secret.”
“You can’t tell Trinity,” I said.
“I won’t,” Slade said immediately. “You have my word.”
“She’s going to try and break you.” I pointed at him. “Don’t let her.”
Slade rolled his eyes. “I can handle my own wife. Calm down.”
“You know she has powerful weapons,” I said. “Don’t let her get to you.”
Cayson patted my hand. “Baby, he gets it.”
“Because she won’t tell me,” I said. “But she’ll drop all these hints and then I’ll figure it out.”
“Chill out,” Slade said. “I won’t tell her. Now, when do we go to the doctor?”
“Are you free tomorrow?” Cayson asked.
“I’m free anytime,” Slade said. “For this.”
***
We sat in the patient room while Slade paced back and forth. Cayson sat beside me and rested his hand on my thigh. His thumb moved over my knuckles in a loving way, silently telling me what he wanted to do when we got home.
Slade wouldn’t sit still. He kept walking. “What’s taking him so long?”
“Sick people,” I said sarcastically.
Slade crossed his arms over his chest. “I wonder what it is.”
“What are you talking about?” Cayson asked.
“If it’s a boy or a girl,” Slade said. “It’s a big deal. I’ll have so much power. But with great power comes great responsibility.”
I wanted to roll my eyes but I stopped myself.
The doctor finally came into the room. “Sorry to keep you waiting…” He had his clipboard in his hand.
“What is it?” Slade blurted. “Tell me. They don’t want to know but I do.”
The doctor chuckled. “I remember you.” Then he turned to Cayson. “You’re much calmer than your friend here. That’s a good sign.”
Cayson nodded. “He and I balance each other out.”
Slade tapped his foot against the tile. “Come on, doc. You’re killing me here.”
He grabbed a notepad and pen and jotted something down. “Alright. Here you are.” He folded it then handed it to Slade.
Slade stared at it for thirty seconds without moving.
“First you were anxious and now you’re terrified.” The doctor shook his head.
Slade finally grabbed the paper. He fidgeted with it in his fingerti
ps before he looked at us. Then he decided to move to the corner and open it with complete privacy. He didn’t react for a full minute. Then he turned around with a stupid smile on his face. His cheeks were slightly red like there was more emotion going on inside him than he could take. He ripped the paper into tiny pieces before he tossed the shards in the garbage. “Well…yeah.” He crossed his arms over his chest and continued to smile wide. All of his teeth were showing. “It’s…great.”
Now the anxiety was killing me. Slade knew if I was having a boy or a girl and I was completely in the dark about it. I turned to Cayson. “Now I want to know even more.”
“I’m not telling you,” Slade said. “So don’t even ask.”
“We’ll know this weekend.” Cayson put his arm around my shoulders. “And our whole family will know too so it’ll be exciting.”
I nodded in agreement.
Slade clapped his hands in excitement. “This party is going to be awesome. I know exactly what I’m going to do.”
I never thought I would be jealous of Slade. But right now, I’d give anything to be him.
Chapter Fourteen
Slade
I knew what they were having.
They entrusted me with this responsibility and I was going to deliver. I knew it was a test before they asked me to be the godfather. At this point they didn’t need to test me. I already proved I was the right person after taking care of Skye for three months.
I deserved a medal for that.
I had a skip in my step every single day that week. All I could think about was the party and everything I had planned. It would be an event they would never forget. Everyone would find out the sex of the baby, and I was the man to make it memorable.
“They asked you to throw them a gender party?” Trinity asked in surprise.
We were eating lunch together in her office. We both sat on the brightly colored yellow couch and ate our Chinese food with chopsticks. “Yep.”
“So, you know the sex of the baby?” She lowered her box of Chinese take-out.
I didn’t even bother not gloating. “Yep.” I shoved a pot sticker into my mouth.
Her jaw dropped. “Tell me! What are they having?”
“Nope. I can’t do that.” I kept eating.
“What do you mean no?” she snapped. “I’m your wife. You’re supposed to tell me.”