Passion Sought

by C Zinnia

  Everyone chuckled.

  “So, what brings you to this neck of the woods?” Jim asked Mel.

  “No need to be nosy,” Thomas said.

  “It’s okay,” Mel said. “I’m here because I’ve never been outside of the city before and figured it would be a nice change of pace.” She wasn’t confident enough with her skills as a musician to announce them to everyone. “What about you two?”

  “We’re here because we also wanted to experience the country,” Jim answered. “And we are awaiting the birth of our beautiful baby girl. She’ll come into this world any day now.”

  “Congratulations,” Mel said. “Do you know the woman?”

  “No, we’re actually from the D.C. area. An adoption agency found the pregnant woman here for us,” Thomas answered. “She agreed that we could be in the area around her due date so we could be there for the birth of our child. Her family offered for us to stay with them, but we wanted to enjoy our last days before parenthood. Goodness knows it will soon be all about our child and we won’t have time for each other!”

  “Wow. Congrats again,” Mel said.

  Dana, Lee, and Daren gave their congratulations as well.

  Bill was enraged at everyone’s reaction. He found the whole thing deplorable. He stood up and left the room without a word.

  Trixie rolled her eyes. “Don’t mind him. He’s very barbaric. He doesn’t know how to be open-minded about anything,” she said. “As though who a person loves affects Bill’s life somehow. I’m a firm believer that those who are vehemently opposed to other types of sexuality are so because they are insecure about their own.”

  Mel was surprised by Trixie’s statement. She hadn’t expected Trixie to be so progressive.

  “Then why date him?” Daren asked.

  Trixie glared at him, then she quickly bowed her head to hide her anger.

  Dana gave Daren a look. “Now is not the time,” she muttered.

  Mel was astonished. Do they all know each other? Mel wondered. Maybe they all do! What if Bill and Trixie are here for the fight too? Mel’s imagination took over. Maybe Trixie is here to compete. She seems like the type who would be a vicious fighter.

  “How did you two meet?” Lee asked the male couple, breaking Mel’s train of thought. Mel understood Lee was trying to change the subject, but she was too curious about their answer to think too hard about Lee’s motive.

  Jim grinned. “Well, we met in high school at a track meet. Thomas was the first person to ever beat me at the 400 meter. We met again in college because we both received track scholarships to the same school. I personally think it was destiny.”

  “It sounds like it,” Mel agreed.

  Dana advised the couple; “Be sure to make time for the two of you. You can’t forget that you love each other and why you are together. Your relationship is the foundation for the family you are creating with this child. Always keep it strong.”

  “Thank you, Dana,” Jim said. “We appreciate the advice.”

  “Dana’s right,” Lee said. “Your relationship is the foundation of your family. It’s also the foundation for your child’s views on relationships. The better your relationship, the more secure and stable your child will feel.” Dana smiled at Lee and affectionately patted his hand.

  Mel could tell Trixie had calmed down. Despite Mel’s reservations about Trixie, she didn’t want her to feel left out. “How about you? Why are you here?” Mel asked her.

  Trixie warily looked at Dana and Lee. “Bill and I wanted a romantic getaway,” she said lamely. “So, we came here.”

  It was more than evident that it was a blatant lie, but Mel didn’t push it. Mel was intrigued with the way Trixie acted around Lee and Dana. Trixie was very acquiescent and Mel knew that wasn’t in her nature. They must know each other somehow. Bill and Trixie must be here for the fight! Mel decided.

  When dinner was over, all of the guests but Mel excused themselves and went upstairs.

  Dana and Lee began clearing off the table. Mel moved to help, but Dana stopped her. “You sit and relax,” she said. “We don’t work our guests; only our spouses and children, right dear?”

  “Whatever you say, love,” Lee said.

  Daren rose and helped his parents.

  As Mel watched them, questions swirled in her head about them. She didn’t know where to start or what was appropriate to ask. Her grandmother was good at diplomacy and it was a skill Mel had yet to acquire.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” Dana asked.

  Mel jumped. She hadn’t realized Dana had come back into the room. Mel tried to think of the right words but gave up. Bluntness was her natural style. “I was wondering, do you know Trixie?” Mel asked.

  Dana froze. She caught herself and tried to take a neutral posture. “Why do you ask?” Dana asked.

  “I guess it seemed like Trixie knew you guys. I figured the only reason Trixie didn’t say so out loud was because none of you like Bill,” Mel said.

  Dana was amazed by Mel’s brusque response. “We don’t really know her. We’ve seen her around at . . . family events. Her family is friends with our family. This is the first time she’s stayed here and we’re doing it as a favor. And, you’re right, it deals with a certain individual no one approves of. He’s not allowed to come to our . . . family events. I don’t even think he actually knows there is one. The story she told him is she’s here to visit family and he’s not allowed to meet them.”

  “He’s okay with that?” Mel asked.

  Dana shrugged. “No clue and I feel it’s not my business,” she said. “It’s her job to make sure he doesn’t come to any family event. It’s part of our laws-”

  “She’d be doing better if she was dating a snake if you ask me,” Lee said over Dana.

  Dana gave him a look of appreciation.

  “Our laws,” Mel repeated in her head. Whose laws exactly?

  “He is a snake,” Dana said as she nodded in agreement with Lee. “It’s just sad when someone is in a bad relationship like that. Especially when she has such a good support system from her family. She gave all of it up for him. She’d rather live with him than her family,” Dana said. She chuckled almost to herself. “My grandma had a saying that every person has to make a trip over Fool’s Hill. Each person’s hill is different and each person makes the trip at a different age, but each of us has to make it on our own. And some are so foolish they have to go over multiple hills. I just hope she’ll get over this hill someday and go back to her family.”

  “So does her family really live around here?” Mel asked.

  “Oh no, this is our territory.” Dana quickly added; “Why don’t you wash up and go to bed. I’m sure you’re pooped from all of the excitement of being in a new place.” Dana’s energy practically forced Mel out of her chair.

  Mel didn’t understand what she had done to upset Dana, but she could take a hint. “I am tired,” Mel said.

  Daren and Lee had both come back into the room to gather more dishes. They were both tense as though they understood why Dana was rattled.

  “Good night,” Mel said.

  They said their good-nights and watched her go upstairs. She could hear a flurry of whispers when she reached the top step, but not its content. She knew it dealt with her.

  Mel tried not to care as she grabbed her clothes and bathroom supplies. She went to the bathroom and locked the door. She double-checked the lock by pulling on the door handle. The door didn’t budge.

  She turned on the bathtub faucet and watched as water poured from the showerhead. She waited until the water was steaming before she stepped in the tub. She sighed happily as hot water danced across her skin.

  Mel glanced down her body and smiled at her black tattoo on her right inner hip. For Janna’s twentieth birthday, they each got a tattoo at the same spot. Janna opted for a Celtic cross. Mel’s tattoo was a treble clef and a bass clef that morphed together to create an asymmetrical heart. She lightly traced it. She was proud of the tatto
o and was grateful to the artist who had been able to come up with the design within moments of her describing it. He said when he drew it, it almost felt like the design came “from above.”

  She imagined the water washing away all remnants of travel. As her head cleared, conversations from earlier replayed in her mind.

  Something was odd about this place. The energy of the people here was different, except for the male couple. Daren, Dana, Lee, and Trixie all had a wild energy about them. Bill was a draining parasite. What was worse was he was malevolent with it. She didn’t know how much Bill knew about energy and she didn’t want to find out.

  Mel had dealt with draining people before, but never the wild energy the others had.

  She brushed her teeth as hot water hit her back and shoulders. Normally, she would find the warmth soothing as it seeped into her muscles, but this time she was tense and couldn’t seem to relax. There were too many puzzle pieces that didn’t seem to fit together. The words they used or nearly used left her baffled. Dana saying “territory” was bizarre to Mel. Is it like this space is claimed? And by who? Mel thought. The phrase had given Mel a vivid image of an animal marking an area with its scent by pissing everywhere.

  And why don’t they want me to know about some guy named Al? Didn’t Jon tell me Franklin County is well-known for making moonshine? What if it is a gang thing? Mel hoped not. But that would make sense, especially after Daren mentioning a fight that he wasn’t supposed to talk about. Maybe they have illegal bets on the fights and they sell illegal moonshine at those events. It would make sense too since they have their own laws.

  Hopefully, I’ll never find out the truth, Mel thought. I’m just here to relax and write music, nothing else. She knew it was a lie. She was interested in seeing the fight since it involved voluntary humans. She had never seen one live before. She had glanced at mixed martial arts fights on television here and there, but she never actually watched one.

  Mel turned off the shower. She dried herself and got dressed. She was grateful for her fuzzy warm pajamas and colorful socks. Her grandma had gotten them for her as a “vacation” gift. “Wear those and you’ll write a platinum record in no time,” her grandma had said, fully confident in the power of the pajamas.

  Mel was about to open the bathroom door when she felt someone near the door. She could feel Bill’s unpleasantness on the other side. He had just figured out she was in the bathroom. Nothing was worse than having a relaxing shower interrupted by a perverse energy. Thank God he wasn’t here during my shower, Mel thought.

  Mel felt him at the door and knew his ear was pressed against it. The action made her indignant. Bill clearly was hoping for a show. Does he really think I’m the type to get my rocks off in a communal bathroom? And even if I did, he has no right! she thought. What I do in the bathroom is none of his business? Didn’t his mother teach him better?

  Mel was angry. I bet he’s the type who is an advocate against transgenders using the bathrooms to ‘protect’ our women and children. Those advocates are the biggest perverts and creeps. Mel made an educated guess where his ear was. With the back of her fist, she hit the door as hard as she could.

  Bill recoiled with a yelp.

  Mel opened the door. She allowed a quarter of her power out, overwhelming him. It made him suddenly feel as though the world was pressing him down. He hunkered from the sensation. “Sorry if I startled you,” Mel said. “I had to smash a bug. I’m sure you were just walking by to go downstairs, right?” She didn’t wait for him to respond. She breezed past him.

  Trixie was standing unperturbed against her bedroom doorway. She had witnessed the whole event. “I believe I may have to buy you a drink,” she said.

  “Keeping him away from me is thanks enough,” Mel said. She closed and locked her bedroom door.

  Her heart was going 100 beats per minute. She hated confrontation with a passion, but she also knew he was the type who would quickly escalate a situation if given the chance. Mel was grateful Trixie didn’t hold her accountable for Bill’s actions. Some do. They’d rather blame the third party than a significant other. How is it logical for anyone to think I should be held accountable for another person’s actions? Mel thought.

  Mel moved away from the door. She went to the window and glanced out. She looked up towards the sky.

  “Oh,” Mel said. She couldn’t believe how many stars were visible in the sky. She couldn’t believe how dark it was either. She was used to street lights. There certainly were none here. She shivered at the thought of being outside in the middle of the woods in such darkness. She looked back up at the sky.

  At that moment, she wondered if she would ever find the type of love she had witnessed twice today. Her grandma had been blessed to find such love as well. Is my soulmate out there, looking at the same stars and wondering the same thing? Mel thought.

  She laughed. She tried to be a realist for the most part, but sometimes her romantic side crept out. The majority of relationships ended in divorce. Her parents were an example of it. Their relationship taught her not to trust. Their relationship taught her not to give too much of herself and not to be vulnerable.

  Her grandparents gave her false hope, but Mel felt like that sort of love didn’t exist in her generation. Is my generation too selfish and self-centered for that sort of love? Is my generation really so entitled? Mel didn’t feel like it was the case.

  Mel felt like her generation was far more accepting of people of different genders, creeds, sexual orientations, races, ethnicities, and the like. Mel felt like her generation was weighed down by insurmountable debt and fewer well-paid opportunities. Is wanting a comfortable lifestyle really considered selfish? Mel wondered. Is wanting to be in a healthy relationship built on mutual love and respect being selfish?

  Mel remembered stories her grandma would tell her of her friends who were abused and/or cheated on in their marriages. Most stayed in their relationships because they feared judgment from their families or they knew they didn’t have the education or work experience to create financial security for their families. Mel wondered how many of those women would have divorced their partners if they were born in Mel’s generation. Would they be considered self-centered for putting their wellbeing first above someone who isn’t concerned with respecting them? Mel thought.

  “Way to wreck the moment, Mel,” she said out loud. “Here I am, sitting with a beautiful sky before me and I still can’t manage to get my head out of my ass.” She knew that if she ever attempted to be in a relationship, she would have to be comfortable with the concept of putting herself in a vulnerable situation. She wasn’t sure she was capable of that sort of thing. How can I find someone who will love me when I barely do? Mel thought. Do I even truly deserve to be in such a wonderful relationship? She wasn’t sure. She thought of her father and his passing. How can I expect to have a wonderful relationship when Dad didn’t? He was a good man who didn’t have a good outcome. Mel didn’t have an answer to any of her questions.

  “If nothing else, maybe I can at least write songs about love,” Mel said to comfort herself. “I may never experience love, but I have enough people around who do that can inspire me.”

  Mel picked up her guitar and went back to the window. She played absently as she watched the sky. “There are as many possibilities as stars/ If you’re willing to take the risks to go far/ So fight on through the dark parts of the night/ Keep your head up and you’ll always find your light.”

  She smiled at her guitar. Maybe this place was exactly what Mel needed.

  Chapter 5

  Earlier that day . . .

  Sweat poured from her. All of her body parts protested as she ran up the mountain for the second time. She jumped up on large boulders that decorated the landscape and dodged large trees and their large exposed roots. When she reached the peak, she walked around to cool down. She threw light kicks in the air to keep her joints lubricated and muscles loose. After resting for a while, she began warming up again by l
ightly jogging in place. Then, she went through her high-powered workout routine.

  Push-ups. Lunges. Squats. Burpees. Jumping jacks. She did an array of explosive movements. Each time she felt tired, she pushed harder. She knew her body’s capabilities. She worked through the pain because it wasn’t a warning pain that cautioned tearing if she kept going. Nothing else existed in her mind except her current routine. She took a few breaks in between to recuperate.

  She did hundreds of back kicks and hook punches. She agreed with the philosophy of Bruce Lee. She knew the more she practiced one kick and one punch, the more devastating her strikes would be. An hour had passed before she felt her workout was thoroughly done. Satisfied, she drank gulps of cool water from her camel pack. She could have gone longer, but she had to go to work. She also was going to work out this evening and wanted time to recover.

  She walked down the mountain. When she reached the bottom, she stretched.

  “Successful morning workout, Viola,” she told herself. “You did a good job. You are the best. You are the greatest. You are number one.”

  Viola walked through the woods. She always liked to walk after a workout. She felt it helped increase her recovery rate. She casually stopped every so often to stretch her psoas, hamstrings, quadriceps, and calves.

  Training wasn’t just part of “the job” for Viola. She truly enjoyed it. It helped craft her into the woman she was today. She loved pushing her body to its limits to see how much it could endure. She felt like the training process wasn’t given enough credit.

  People liked to pretend the time spent fighting showed who the best warrior was. It didn’t. A champion was a champion because of how she trained. Anyone could get lucky during a fight. Many great fighters have been defeated by those who could never replicate their one-time success. A champion strived for excellence and pushed for perfection, knowing it would never be reached.

  Training is also the only way you have found where you feel like you are in control of your environment, Eli’s voice resounded in her head. While it’s good that you’ve found a healthy outlet, you still need to continue to address your traumas through therapy and other complementary care. Viola felt uncomfortable thinking about her talks with Eli, the pack’s witch. Viola used to train even harder than she did now. She used to micromanage her diet more. It concerned the pack enough that they had her meet with Eli.