HALE: Lords of Carnage MC

by Daphne Loveling

  “I got it covered, cousin. Don’t worry about it. I’ll go out there now, give you an update once I have one.”

  “Thanks.”

  “Of course,” he replies easily. “What’s family for?”

  I almost laugh at the deceptive simplicity of his words. To say my cousin and I haven’t been close since Scotty’s death is an understatement. Even after I told him where Scotty got the drugs, and that I was pretty sure Charlie Sutton had him dealing for him, Mal never blamed Kylie for not telling us what Scotty was into. Not like I did. That pissed me off. I felt like Mal was being disloyal to our friend, not seeing that Kylie could have saved him if she hadn’t been trying to protect her dad.

  Now looking back, I’m starting to see all of that in a different light. Maybe Mal didn’t need to be angry as much as I did, I don’t know. All I know is, when you’re in real pain at losing someone, sometimes anger can feel better than grief. Anger’s more active. You can project it outward. You can give it a target. With grief, there’s just nothing. Nothing to hold all the pain.

  But anger can make you stupid, too. You hold onto it, and it can fuck you up. Bad.

  Going down to Ironwood, coming face to face with my past, has been a reminder of just how fucked up I was after Scotty died. And for years after that.

  But now, I realize I pushed away the same people that probably could have helped me get through it. Mal. Kylie.

  The same people who were going through their own grief.

  “Yeah,” I agree with my cousin. “What’s family for?”

  24

  Kylie

  “Ugh,” I complain, after swigging down so much water that I feel like I’m going to explode. “I hate these damn horse pills. I can’t wait to be done with them.”

  I’ve never been good at swallowing pills at all. And whatever these things are that Smiley’s got me on, they stick in my throat like they’ve got glue on them. But I know I need them. Whenever they start to wear off, the dull throbbing of my headache turns into a full-blown jackhammer. Smiley says it will take time for the headaches to lessen, but he seems pretty confident I’ll be back to normal eventually.

  “I know,” Jewel grins. “They suck. But you need to keep taking them. Do it for me. If Hale comes back and finds out you’re not following orders, I’m the one he’ll come after.”

  This is the first time I’ve been out of Cam’s sight since the MC rescued me. It’s been four days now, and it took this long for me to convince him I’m not going to keel over if he leaves the clubhouse for an hour. He’s gone to his place to get a change of clothes, and then I guess he’s heading over to his club’s garage to work on his bike a little bit. He promised me he’d be back before dinnertime, and the look on his face was so earnest and serious it would have made me laugh, if it hadn’t tugged at my heart so hard.

  Ever since I woke up in this strange bed and room at his clubhouse, with Cam’s concerned face hovering over me, he hasn’t left my side. He’s been here twenty-four seven, making sure I take my meds, get enough sleep, and don’t forget to eat. I haven’t lifted a finger for myself. He makes sure there’s no loud noises around me, since they hurt my head. He even got the club’s president, Angel, to put a ban on parties at the clubhouse until I’m well enough to leave.

  I’m hoping that will be tomorrow. Cam has promised to take me down to Ironwood to see my dad, if I’m feeling well enough. Dad’s starting his cancer treatments today, and I want to be there for him as much as I can. I’m still not sure how I’m going to pay for them, especially since now I’m probably not going to be able to work for a little bit until my head gets better. But I’m not going to think about that right now. I have the money from the last run I did for the Ironwood MC, and that’s a start.

  I don’t really know what’s going to happen after tomorrow, either. I haven’t talked to Cam about where I’m going to stay going forward, but I don’t want to stay here at his clubhouse any longer. I feel bad about them not being able to party with me here. Jewel says everybody’s fine with it, but I don’t want to wear out my welcome.

  When Jewel is satisfied that I’ve swallowed all my meds, she shoots a look toward the window. “Do you want to try going outside today?” she asks. “It’s really beautiful outside. Sunny, but we can put a hat and some sunglasses on you. I think it’ll do you some good to get out.”

  I nod. “I like that idea. But first, I’m gonna take a shower and get into some clean clothes.” Cam had some of my stuff brought up here from Ironwood — how exactly, I don’t know. They just showed up.

  “Sounds good. I’ll just hang out here.” Jewel takes out her phone.

  “You can go downstairs if you want,” I offer, “and I’ll come down when I’m done.”

  “Oh, no!” Jewel laughs. “I want to be able to tell Hale I didn’t let you out of my sight. You know how he is.”

  I snicker. “Yeah, I do.”

  As I take a long, hot shower in the apartment’s bathroom, I can’t help but think about how protective Cam has been with me since I got rescued. I try like hell not to read too much into it, even though I can’t stop my stupid heart from hoping.

  Because the fact is, somewhere along the line, I’ve fallen for Cam. It’s gone beyond the simple high school crush I used to have for him back in the day. And it’s way more than the overwhelming desire I have for him to put his hands on me whenever we’re in the same room.

  I crave him. I want him. I can’t stop thinking about him. And more than anything, I want to believe that he doesn’t hate me anymore.

  No. That’s not true.

  More than anything, I want Cam to love me as much as I’ve fallen in love with him.

  Sighing, I turn the water off and reach for the towel. After drying off my body, I pull on a soft, comfortable T-shirt and my favorite pair of yoga pants. When I emerge from the bathroom, Jewel looks over and nods at the phone sitting on the kitchen table.

  “You had a call while you were in there,” she tells me.

  “Probably Cyndi,” I reply. “She’ll want to know if I’m still coming down tomorrow.”

  Poor Cyndi had been frantic when she heard that I’d gone missing. She called Mal in a panic after I didn’t show up to the bar for drinks with her friends like we’d planned. Her calls to me went straight to voicemail, and she’d assumed the worst. When Mal finally told her a bare-bones version of what happened, she begged Mal to have Cam get me another phone to replace the one the OTR Kings had taken from me, so she could talk to me. This one’s only a cheap burner, but it’s my lifeline to Ironwood right now, and I’m grateful for it.

  I grab the phone, and head downstairs with Jewel. On the way out, she grabs me a big pair of sunglasses and a wide-brimmed hat which she tells me she brought from home. Gratefully, I put them on, and we go outside into the sunshine. I wince at how bright it is — it feels like someone put the sun on turbo charge — but I’m not about to go back inside. It feels too good having the warmth on my bare arms, and a gentle breeze fanning through my hair.

  Since there aren’t any lawn chairs, we climb up onto the tables of the two picnic tables, the only actual furniture out here. As if reading my mind, Jewel murmurs, “We should really get some more comfortable places to sit out here.” She lies carefully down on her picnic table, placing her hands on her swollen belly.

  “When are you due?” I ask her.

  “Eight weeks. I can’t wait to get this thing out of me,” she jokes.

  “Have you picked out names yet?”

  “We’re still choosing from a few different ones. The girl names were easy, strangely enough. The boy names Angel likes, I don’t, and vice versa.”

  “Who will win?” I ask with a grin.

  “The one pushing this watermelon out of her cooch,” Jewel replies, giving me a wink.

  I cackle with laughter as I press Cyndi’s number on the burner phone. She’s thrilled to hear from me, and especially thrilled to find out I’m still planning on coming down to I
ronwood tomorrow. She and Mal have helped me conceal the worst of what happened to me from my dad. The version he knows is that I took a fall on a sidewalk while I was up in Tanner Springs visiting a friend, and hit my head on the pavement. That takes care of the essential parts.

  Cyndi tells me she and Mal have been keeping an eye on Dad, and that he’s eager to start his cancer treatments. We chat for a few more minutes, and as I hang up the phone, I send up one more silent prayer to the powers that be that my father will be okay.

  That task done, I lie down on my own picnic table and put the hat over my face to block the sun. I let myself be lulled to sleep by the soft traffic noises and the warmth of the sun on my body. Before I know it, I’m dreaming. I’m back in high school. I’m with Scotty, and we’re with a bunch of people in a park, and we’re laughing. He takes my hand and leads me over to a cluster of trees, away from everyone else. But when he turns back to me, I see it’s not Scotty anymore, but Cam. He starts to say something to me, but I can’t understand what he’s saying.

  It’s Cam’s voice that actually brings me back out of the dream. I hear him talking to Jewel, in the low, husky tone that I know so well. Blinking awake, I take the hat off my face and push myself into a sitting position.

  “So, I leave for a couple of hours, and when I come back, you’re sunbathing,” Cam remarks with a wink. “You sure you haven’t been faking this whole head injury thing all along?”

  Jewel laughs, and I laugh with her, shaking my head. I can’t help but notice as I do how cheerful Cam seems. It’s a remarkable change from how sullen and angry he usually was around me in Ironwood. And how serious and worried he’s been since he brought me back here to Tanner Springs.

  I guess being away from me for a little while has done him good, a small voice says inside me. The idea sends a stab of pain through my heart.

  “I’m feeling better,” I tell him, careful to keep the sadness out of my voice. “It’s nice to be out here.” I raise my arms up above me and stretch like a cat.

  “Yeah. Looks like it’s doing you some good.” He nods approvingly, then pauses. “So, if you’re doing better, you think you’re up for a ride?” He asks. “I’ve got something to show you.”

  “On your bike?” I ask dubiously.

  “Nah. Too loud. I brought my car.”

  I look at Jewel, who gives me an encouraging smile. “Go. It’ll do you good. I’m gonna be hanging around here for a while, but if I’m gone when you get back, I’ll see you soon.”

  “Okay.” I stand and give Jewel a hug, leaning around her pregnant belly. “Thank you. For everything.”

  “Not a problem. Any friend of Hale’s is a friend of the club’s.” She wiggles her eyebrows at me suggestively at the word friend, and I redden and try to ignore it.

  “You ready to go right now?” Cam asks me. “Or do you need to go in?”

  I think for a second. “I’m ready now, I guess. I don’t have anything upstairs that I need.”

  “Okay. Let’s go, then.” Cam reaches for my hand and takes it in his larger one. The gesture is so casual it takes me off guard. Pushing down my surprise, I let him lead me to a newer model Black Mustang, and wait as he opens the door and helps me inside.

  “Where are you taking me?” I ask when he’s slid into the driver’s seat.

  “I thought maybe you’d like to see more of Tanner Springs than just the inside of the clubhouse,” he answers. “Since you weren’t exactly paying attention when you came here.” He starts the engine, a soft roar that backs down into a purr. “And then after the grand tour, I got something else I want you to see.”

  25

  Kylie

  He glances over at me as we drive. “Just sit back and relax. Let me know if the motion of the car bugs you, and I’ll take you back.”

  This weird, solicitous Cameron Hale is so confusing that it’s wreaking havoc with my mind — not to mention my ovaries. I’m so used to him hating me, and then maybe not hating me but not exactly liking me. I don’t really know how to talk to this version of Cam. During the ride, he keeps glancing over at me, like he’s checking to see if I’m all right. He does it enough times that eventually I roll my eyes and sigh. “Cam. I promise you I’ll tell you if I’m not feeling well. Okay?”

  He shoots me a frown, but it’s a joking one. “You better,” he warns, but thankfully he turns his attention to driving after that. He maneuvers the Mustang slowly through the streets. He goes so slowly that I know he’s doing it for me. I almost call him on it, but honestly I’m not sure how much motion my head can take. So instead I just lean back and let him drive me around.

  He takes me through the downtown area, pointing out this bar or that diner. He points to a coffee shop called the Golden Cup, and tells me that one of his MC brothers’ old ladies owns it. We drive by the hospital, and he tells me Lucy and also Gunner’s old lady Isabel work there. I start to realize after a while that he seems to be spending a lot of time telling me about the old ladies in the club, but I don’t think to ask him why.

  Eventually, Cam turns the car away from the commercial part of town and heads into a residential section. At this point, I’m just looking out the window, enjoying the scenery, so I don’t question where we’re heading until he pulls up in front of a low, gray and white rambler. I turn and look at him as he parks.

  “My place,” he murmurs.

  I raise my eyebrows at him, but he’s not looking at me. He turns off the car, comes around to the passenger side and helps me out of the car.

  “Cam, I’m not an invalid,” I complain.

  “Yes, you are,” he corrects. “Besides, I thought chicks liked that chivalrous shit?”

  That gets a laugh out of me. “Yeah, I guess we do,” I admit.

  I don’t ask him why we’re here, and he doesn’t tell me. I figure I’ll find out soon enough, so I just follow him up the walk. He lets me inside, and tells me to make myself at home.

  Cam disappears into the back of the house for a few minutes, and I take the opportunity to look around a little. His living room is nicer and cleaner than I thought it would be. The decor is all man, but it’s also comfortable and more stylish than I expected. It’s homey. I can imagine him living here. I wander into the kitchen, and peek inside the refrigerator. Surprisingly, there’s actually food in it. I kind of expected to see nothing more than a case of beer and maybe a jar of pickles.

  Footsteps in the hall startle me and I hurriedly close the fridge door, but not before Cam steps into the kitchen and sees me. “Spying on me?” he asks, his tone teasing.

  “Kind of,” I admit. “It’s weird to see where you live. It’s a lot less bachelor-y than I thought it would be.”

  “Bachelor-y?” he grins. “What the fuck kind of word is that?”

  “It’s a perfectly normal word,” I say, sticking out my chin.

  “For a woman with a brain injury, maybe.”

  “Hey!” I grab the dish towel that’s threaded through the refrigerator door handle and fling it at him. He catches it easily, and then before I know it he’s crossed the kitchen and has wrapped the towel behind me, using it to pull me to him.

  “You definitely are feeling better,” he rumbles. “Your feistiness is back.”

  “Feistiness?” I echo with a snort, even though my heart is starting to pound. “What kind of word is that?”

  “It’s a perfectly normal word,” Cam rasps, brushing his lips against my ear. “To describe a damn infuriating woman.” He dips his face toward me, his mouth capturing mine in a kiss that’s at once gentle and demanding. My head starts to spin a little bit, but I’m pretty sure it’s not from the concussion. I return the kiss, so dizzy with the nearness of him that I forget to breathe until he pulls away.

  “That was…” I gasp. “Wow.”

  “Yeah. I’ve been wanting to do that for days now.” His voice is husky. “Glad to have you back, Ky. You fuckin’ scared the shit out of me, you know that?”

  Oh, God. Here’s w
here Cam reams me a new asshole for the Cincy run. He hasn’t said a word about it yet, presumably because he was waiting for me to get better, but I knew it was coming. I take a deep breath and wait for him to start yelling at me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he leans down and puts an arm behind my knees, taking me into his arms.

  “What are you doing?” I breathe as my heart begins to pound.

  “I’m takin’ you to bed.” He chuckles low in his throat as he carries me gently toward his bedroom. “Can’t get a damn bit of privacy at the clubhouse, what with somebody checking up on you every three minutes.” He looks down at me, his eyes dark and full of need. “I know you’re still healing, and we won’t go any further than you can handle. But if I’m reading you right, you’ve been wanting this as much as me for the last day or so.”

  My breath hitches. “At least as much,” I whisper.

  Cam is so careful with me as he sets me down on the bed. But the bulge in his pants leaves no mistake that it’s an effort for him to restrain himself. My skin is tingling, my core hot and wet as he pulls off his cut and his shirt. He stands there, massive and unbearably sexy. He seems momentarily unsure what to do, and I know it’s because he doesn’t want to hurt me.

  So, for once, I take the lead.

  I kneel on the bed, and slip off my T-shirt off, too, and then my bra. Reaching for him, I unbutton and unzip his jeans, pulling them down until his cock springs free. For just a second I hesitate, and then reach forward and wrap my hand around his thick shaft.

  Cam groans. “Fuck,” he hisses. “Jesus Christ, that feels good.”

  I begin to stroke, slowly, loving the heft and the heat of him. I’ve never thought this before about any man, but his cock is beautiful. Cam reaches down and cups my breasts in his hands, his thumbs teasing my nipples, and I grow even wetter between my legs. I lean forward and take his head in my mouth, sliding my tongue along the velvety skin. His thighs go rigid as I explore and taste. He’s salty, and delicious, and suddenly what I want more than anything is to make him come like this — to make him lose all control, and know it was me who did it.