Chances Are

by Barbara Bretton

  He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “I won’t ask you to go steady with me until I come back from Malaysia.”

  She started to laugh, the kind of laugh she had lost many years ago. “Do I get to wear your class ring?”

  “Depends what your boyfriend has to say about that.”

  “I don’t have a boyfriend.”

  “What about that guy I saw you with Friday morning?”

  “That was our first date.”

  “Will there be a second?”

  “He took me to dinner Saturday night.”

  “You like him.”

  “He’s very likable.”

  “Any plans for a third?”

  “I don’t know,” she said. “Part of that is up to him, isn’t it?”

  “I’m not afraid of competition.” He turned her hand over and kissed the palm, making her shiver. “This is only the beginning, Claire,” he said. “Are you willing to see where the road takes us?”

  CLAIRE DROVE BACK into town in a state of elation, confusion, and almost giddy excitement.

  He had asked if she was willing to see where the road took them. There were no guarantees. They both knew life didn’t come with any. He lived out of a backpack. Her roots grew deep in a sleepy Jersey Shore town. Family life was a mystery to him. Living without the support of her own blood was even more of a mystery to her.

  She didn’t care. Change was in the air, and she wanted to embrace it wherever she found it. Deciding to leave the safe cocoon of O’Malley’s for the uncertainty of Cuppa was the first of many steps toward some big, unknowable future that had the chance to be disastrous or wonderful or something in between.

  They made no promises. They told no lies. They had seen too much, been hurt too often, for anything but the clear-eyed truth. Hopeful romantics, that was what they were. Old enough to know better but young enough to still believe happiness was possible.

  She even looked different. She kept stealing glances at her reflection in the rearview mirror. She looked happy, like a woman with a delicious secret she wasn’t quite ready to share with the world. Corin was leaving tonight for Malaysia, but even that wasn’t enough to dim her sense of optimism and hope. If what they had was real, it would still be there when he returned at the end of the summer. No matter how it played out, where that road he talked about led them, nobody could take away the unexpected gift of this single hour together on a strip of Jersey Shore.

  She whipped into the parking lot behind O’Malley’s just shy of five-thirty. The place was packed for a Monday afternoon, and she was glad. She wanted the bar to take off like a skyrocket on the Fourth of July. It was long past time for the O’Malley luck to change.

  Aidan and Billy Jr. were in the back. Billy was washing down a plate of brownies with milk from his favorite beer stein, while Aidan chopped onions for the ubiquitous vat of chili.

  “Hey, guys,” she said then turned to her son. “Better go brush your teeth, Billy. Dr. Danzig isn’t going to be very happy with all that chocolate.”

  “Can’t,” her offspring said. “I don’t have a toothbrush.”

  She reached into her tote bag and withdrew a toothbrush and a tube of Colgate. “Nice try,” she said as she handed them over to him. “Now get going. Your appointment’s in twenty minutes.”

  “You’re in a better mood than you were when you left,” Aidan observed as Billy grumbled his way into the bathroom. “Did Mike get settled in at Lilly’s place?”

  She stared at him for a second, struggling to figure out what he was talking about. “Yeah,” she said finally, “but he was seriously pissed when I handed over his Dentu-Creme to Lilly. He actually thought she didn’t know.”

  “His teeth were in a glass on his nightstand,” Aidan said, laughing. “How the hell was he planning to explain that?”

  “Love is blind.” She grabbed a chunk of green pepper from the bowl on the work counter.

  “Toss me another onion from the basket, would you?”

  “Big or small?”

  “Big.”

  She chose one the size of a softball and lobbed it to him. “Speaking of being pissed, I wish to hell you hadn’t lied to me about Kelly.”

  “I thought we went through that before. She asked Maddy to look for a dress with her. Don’t go reading more into it than there is, Red.”

  “Cut the bull, Aidan. I know where they went. I saw Maddy’s car.”

  He narrowed his eyes in the same way his brother used to do when he had the feeling he wasn’t going to like what he was about to hear. “Where did you see her car?”

  “The women’s health center out past the bridge. Did you think I was going to freak out because she wanted birth control? Okay, so maybe I’m a little hurt that she turned to Maddy, but I’m not stupid. I know she’s practically grown now. I know she and Seth—” She stopped at the look on his face. “You really did think they were out shopping for a dress, didn’t you?”

  His expression said it all.

  Oh God, she thought as Billy Jr. raced back into the room. What on earth have I done?

  Chapter Twenty-five

  “MORE TEA, ANYONE?” The waitress tried hard not to look in Kelly’s direction, which probably wasn’t easy since she was crying loud enough to be heard in Philly.

  “Just the chicken rice soup, please,” Maddy said, “as soon as it’s ready.”

  The waitress nodded and hurried off to the kitchen.

  “I don’t want the soup,” Kelly managed between bouts of tears. “I hate chicken rice soup.”

  “It’s medicinal,” Maddy said. “And I’m not taking no for an answer.”

  Maddy sounded the way Kelly had imagined her own mother would sound, firm but loving, her voice more healing than any soup could possibly be.

  Which, of course, only made her cry harder.

  “Drink some water,” Maddy said. “You’ll dehydrate.”

  Kelly obediently did what she was told. She took two big sips of icy water, then put the glass back down on the paper place mat.

  “I can’t believe I did it,” she said. “I just can’t believe it.”

  Maddy reached across the table and took her hand. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. You did what you thought was right.”

  “But what if I’m wrong? What if—”

  “Here we go, ladies.” The waitress deposited steaming bowls of chicken and rice soup in front of them. “If you need me, let out a yell.”

  “I hate chicken and rice soup,” Kelly said again, peering down at the bowl.

  “So do I,” Maddy said, “but I’m my mother’s daughter.

  The medicinal value of chicken soup was too strong for me to resist.”

  Kelly started to laugh but quickly dissolved back into tears. She had started crying within moments of leaving the Women’s Health Cooperative over an hour ago, and so far she hadn’t been able to stem the tide.

  “Come on,” Maddy urged. “Eat. You need your strength.”

  “Those little ricey bits are disgusting.”

  “You sound just like Hannah.”

  She took a spoonful then pushed the bowl away. “Will you tell my father?”

  Maddy looked up, eyes wide with surprise. “I promised you I wouldn’t say anything, and I meant it, honey. That’s your decision to make, not mine.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t understand. I want you to tell Daddy.”

  For a second she was afraid Maddy was going to get up and head for the door, and she held her breath. Please don’t go . . . please don’t leave me here.

  “Kelly, do you really think that’s the right thing to do?”

  “Please! You have to help me. He’s going to be so hurt, Maddy!” She was crying so hard she could barely manage to push out her words. “He’s always been so proud of me, and now I’ve ruined everything.” She struggled to pull her emotions back from the edge. “All you have to do is tell him, and I’ll do everything else. Just break the news to him, and I swear I’ll never as
k you for anything ever again.”

  LASSITER AND HIS crew were still up in Surf City when Corin got back to the B and B. He walked straight over to the tape recorder Crystal had been using and pressed the Play button.

  Gina’s voice was instantly identifiable through the raucous laughter and loud music of the karaoke bar, but her words were difficult to decipher. He raised the volume and leaned closer. Crystal was a clever woman, and she saved tape by clicking on and off when Gina wandered away from the table in search of another margarita. Neither one of them was much of a singer. He winced as Gina’s throaty alto attempted to scale Whitney Houston heights in a painful rendition of “I Will Always Love You.”

  There had to be more to the tape than this. His mind started to drift toward Claire, when Gina’s voice pulled him back. Shit. He rewound, then hit the Play button again, listening carefully. Her words were slurred, but he had no trouble understanding her. His suspicions were right. The resemblance between Claire’s son and Gina’s boy wasn’t coincidental.

  Gina and Billy O’Malley had stayed away from each other for a few years, when they slipped and made love one afternoon. He didn’t know if it had been lust or boredom driving them, but this time their luck ran out, and Gina became pregnant.

  “I asked him to come over that last morning. I had just found out I was pregnant, and I knew it was his because—well, figure it out for yourself, okay? Anyway, I told him, and he was . . . he came apart . . . all he kept talking about was Claire and his kids . . . what this would do to them . . . and I said you never gave a shit before . . . why do you suddenly give a damn how they feel . . . I was angry and hurt . . . we had been together off and on for almost twenty years, and this was our baby I was carrying . . . anyway we had a fight . . . the worst one ever, and I knew . . . and it was still going on when we heard the fire alarms going off . . . he had to go . . . it scared me, he was so out of his head with anger . . . be careful I told him right after I said he should go fuck himself . . . don’t drive like a maniac . . . do you know he actually hit my mailbox when he was pulling out of my driveway . . . sometimes I think that’s why . . . you know . . . that’s why he got trapped in the warehouse . . . he wasn’t thinking . . . couldn’t concentrate . . . I wish . . . shit . . . I wish—”

  Her anguish was unmistakable, and he felt a sudden and surprising flash of remorse for all the lives that had been irrevocably changed by Billy’s fatal weakness.

  Claire’s words from earlier that afternoon came back to him.

  At least I know I wasn’t sharing him with anyone else at the end. I don’t think I could have handled that . . . I would have known . . . I always knew.

  Did she know? He found it hard to believe she could look at Gina’s son Joey and not see her own son, her own dead husband, looking back at her. He hadn’t been in town more than twenty-four hours before he had nailed down the resemblance and begun to wonder about it. Probably half the town had figured it out by now, whispering behind their hands when Claire or Gina walked by.

  He couldn’t change that. He couldn’t reach back through time and beat some sense into the bastard, make him see what he was doing to his wife, his family, any more than he could understand her need to protect her memory of their marriage. Sooner or later the truth would come out. This was a small town. Secrets didn’t stay secret forever. One day Gina would have one margarita too many and slip again, or maybe Claire would want to put the final ghost to rest once and for all.

  But he would be damned if she found out in a televised documentary along with everybody else.

  “Sorry, Crystal,” he said as he replaced Gina’s tape with a blank one from the box on the table.

  This was one of those times when he was reasonably certain God looked the other way and maybe, just maybe, smiled.

  MADDY WAITED IN the high school parking lot while Kelly started up her car. The plan was simple. They would drive back to O’Malley’s, where Maddy would break the news to Aidan while Kelly drummed up her courage to face her father.

  It wasn’t much of a plan, but it was all they had. Clearly the girl was hanging on by an emotional thread. There wasn’t time to prepare Aidan, to ease him toward the truth. His daughter needed him, and she needed him now. Her tears had finally stopped, but Maddy wasn’t fooled. The young woman was overwhelmed by the enormity of her decision, and she desperately needed the support of her family to see her through.

  Which left Maddy wondering exactly where she would figure in the equation once Aidan was told about the part she had played in Kelly’s decision.

  But it was too late now. She made a right into the parking lot behind O’Malley’s and claimed one of the employee spots. Kelly came to a stop right behind her.

  She turned off the ignition and sat there staring ahead into the gathering dusk. There was no way she could put a pretty face on the ugly truth. She had betrayed Aidan’s trust. When the dust cleared, she knew he would be there for his daughter, but whether or not he would be able to forgive Maddy was anybody’s guess.

  She paused by Kelly’s car before she went inside. “Give us fifteen minutes,” she said. And say a prayer.

  Kelly looked up at Maddy. Her eyes were swollen from her crying jag, red-rimmed and still weepy, but Maddy saw the faintest beginnings of acceptance. I love you, Kel, she thought. She wasn’t sure when it had happened, when respect and reserve had been replaced with love, but there was no denying the very real emotion that filled her heart. She wasn’t quite ready to say it, not with the future up in the air, but there it was, just the same.

  “He won’t blame you,” Kelly said. “I won’t let him.”

  She reached through the window and gave the girl’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “Try to relax, honey. He loves you more than anything in this world. It’s going to be okay.”

  The bar kitchen blazed with lights. Laughter rose in waves from the building and mingled with strains of vintage Springsteen. The spicy smells of chili and cheeseburgers wafted toward her. He made great chili. She had always said that. No store-bought chili powder for him, he always blended his own from—

  His voice seemed to come from nowhere. “I wondered when you’d show up.”

  Her heart lurched against her rib cage as he stepped out of the shadows near the kitchen door.

  “You scared me!” She could hear her pulse pounding in her ears. “I didn’t see you there.”

  His gaze shifted toward the parking lot. “Why is Kelly still in her car?” She shrugged. “I need a cup of coffee,” she said, falling far short of the light tone she was aiming for. “Let’s go inside.”

  He didn’t budge. “Why is Kelly sitting in her car?”

  The hairs on the back of her neck lifted in response. She wasn’t sure exactly what he knew or how he knew it, but there was no mistaking his tone of voice or the charged atmosphere between them.

  She had never been good at confrontation. Even during those years of endless arguing with her mother, she had hated the loud voices and slammed doors, the siege mentality that had plagued their relationship. Running away was what she did best. Her fifteen years in Seattle were proof of that. This time, however, there was no place left to go. She was where she was meant to be, the place she had longed for all her life.

  “Please,” she said as she reached for the latch on the back door. “We need to talk.”

  He was bigger and heavier than she was, so physical intimidation was out. If he wanted to storm across the yard and confront his daughter, there was nothing she could do to stop him. She held her breath and prayed as she stepped into the kitchen. Thank God, he followed her inside.

  The kitchen looked the way it always looked: cluttered, chaotic, but weirdly effective. Aidan had a system that not even Claire had been able to figure out. Chili bubbled on the stove next to a pot of pasta e fagiole. The grill gave testament to years of burgers and Philly cheese steaks. His laptop graced the top of the fridge.

  “Okay,” he said, leaning his cane against the side of the work c
ounter, “why the hell didn’t you tell me?”

  She should have known better. They had never been very good at anything but the truth. Right from the start they had been open and honest with each other, and she had blown it all to bits. Her intentions had been good, her motives pure, but that didn’t mean a thing when it came to the damage she had caused.

  “It all happened so fast,” she said, aware of how lame the excuse sounded. “I’d had my suspicions, but I kept looking the other way. She tried to talk to me. I knew she wanted to tell me something, but I was so afraid of what she had to say that I kept pushing her away.” She paused to drag in a shaky breath.

  “Why didn’t you tell me?” he repeated.

  If only she could erase that look in his eyes, a combination of anger and pain, and she had no one but herself to blame. “Aidan, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wanted to tell you more than anything. I tried to convince Kelly to tell you, but she threatened to drive up to New York alone if I did. If anything had happened to her, I—”

  “Why the hell would she drive up to New York?”

  She felt like somebody had dropped a two-ton block of ice on her chest as she realized they had been talking at cross purposes. God, if you’re paying any attention at all, help me know what to say. “I’m sorry,” she said, “but I’m not following you.”

  “Claire saw your car at that women’s health center near the bridge. She figured out what was going on and tore a strip off me for not telling her.”

  The real story? Oh God. It was almost laughable. He and Claire thought they had gone to the center for birth control. Abortion would never have crossed their minds.

  “Sit down,” she said. “I have to tell you something.”

  “How about telling me why you lied. She’s my daughter. You’re going to be my wife. I thought we were all on the same team. I don’t get it. She never hid things from me before. Why the hell would she start now?”

  She took a long breath and plunged headfirst into the deep end of the pool. “Because she’s never been pregnant before, Aidan.”