Overdone (The Loss of Reason) (Zelda's World Book 2)

by Paloma Meir

  Over the next week they all left. My mother and father left first for New York. Carolina decided to go back to Los Angeles and spend a week with Anthony before heading back home to New Hampshire.

  After my parents left they became more open in showing their affection with each other. My brother had always been goofy and carefree, Carolina always so serious. He rubbed off on her. She would giggle covering her mouth with her hand looking up at him in the most coquettish way. I wondered how long her “week” would last.

  I would whisper to Louisa all the details, keeping her updated on her uncle’s romance. She slept or fed most of the time but I felt she understood me. Her blue eyes were so open and aware when she was awake, taking in the world around her. Finally Carolina and Anthony left. I promised Anthony we would fly in for the Winter Holiday. It seemed that Carolina would be going home for that as well.

  Chapter Nine

  Studying business soured me on the stock market. The housing market was down. Los Angeles was in foreclosure. I bought two little houses, and an apartment building on the east side of town. One of the houses was in the less desirable parts of Echo Park, the other house and apartment building in the more desirable part of Boyle Heights. The city was spreading, pushing the poor farther and farther east.

  The change was good. The stock market was a zigzag of nothingness other than trading money up and down. Buying the houses and apartment buildings felt solid, real. I tried not to question my part in the gentrification.

  The houses were to fix up and flip but the multi-unit building in Boyle Heights I planned to keep. I fixed up the decay the previous owner had let the building fall into and added a playground for the kids that lived there. That would assuage my guilt until I was in a stronger financial position to do better works.

  I spent my mornings on the computer looking for my next purchase, researching the best options for what I already had. I had offers in on two other houses. I pushed the limits on my line of credit secured by my beach house that had doubled in value in the five years since I had bought it. I didn’t want to go into my trust. My goal was to never touch the fund. I could pass it straight on to my children if I ever had any.

  Serge was stretched out on the sofa instead of the bed in his room. He had fallen asleep with his phone in his hand. It rang, jarring him awake. He sat up. His hair stuck up everywhere, some of the dreadlocks had grown past his shoulders. He looked crazed. If I squinted I could still see my old lacrosse buddy.

  “Hey Danny. Carolina and Anthony are coming down for breakfast. Should I take them to Coogie’s? Do we have any food? I should make them breakfast.” He stared at his phone. He looked half asleep.

  “No food here. Take them to Coogie’s” I tried to make myself look as if I were doing very important things on my laptop.

  “Coogie’s it is bro. Get dressed. They’ll be here in ten minutes.” He stood up and stretched.

  “Busy.” I didn’t take my eyes off the screen. I was watching a video of raccoons eating cake.

  “Dude you’re going.” He stared at me, his eyes half closed.

  “I have a paper due tomorrow.” I didn’t look up from my laptop.

  “We’ll surf for three hours instead of four. I’m not fucking around. You’re going.” He walked out onto the deck that overlooked the ocean.

  “Why are Carolina and Anthony coming down together?” I didn’t see a way out of the breakfast. I closed my laptop.

  “I don’t know. Get dressed. We’ll find out in five minutes. Dude I haven’t seen my sister in two years. You’re going. Family day.” He wandered back into the house and into his bedroom.

  “Fine.” I went into my room, put on a pair of board shorts and a semi-clean t-shirt and stared out the window at the ocean to get my head together.

  “They’re here. Come on.” He stuck his head into my doorway and yelled out. We jumped in Anthony’s SUV and drove up the coast to Coogie’s. Serge and Carolina dominated the conversation with their catching-up. I hoped the rest of the drive and meal went in the same direction.

  I held up the menu and hid my face behind it. I studied the menu as if my life depended on the breakfast order. I wasn’t even hungry.

  “Danny we flew in from Madrid last night. Zelda had her baby, Louisa Moreau Ortiz. Do you want to see the pictures?” She reached into her purse for the photos I didn’t want to see. Breakfast was going to be worse than I imagined.

  “Zelda’s hysterical, wacked out on her hormones. Walking around with Louisa wrapped to her chest. When she’s talking she explains things to her as if Louisa’s part of the conversation.” Anthony leaned over and kissed Carolina on the cheek. This couldn’t be real. I was having a nightmare and would wake-up in a minute.

  “She has this German woman who follows her around, rubbing her shoulders all the time and feeding her berries and almonds.” Carolina joined in on the laughter, the two of them falling all over each other. “Astrid the mute. You wouldn’t believe it. Paolo hired a woman who only speaks German to help her out with the baby, but Zelda won’t let anyone hold her baby, forget about anyone helping her with Louisa. All she has left to do is pamper Zelda. Funniest thing you’ve ever seen. If Zelda walks to a chair Astrid will fluff the pillow before she sits down on it. Zelda loves it. She’s never going to let her go of her.”

  “She’s not too happy with Astrid now that Paolo put her on that ridiculous diet. Two days after giving birth he’s limiting her food. Lucky for him that she has a drawer in her office of filled with chocolate covered oranges. She would probably leave him if took away her sweets.” Carolina laughed again. They were having a grand old time with their storytelling.

  “He put her on a diet? She’s was as thin she’s as always been when I saw her last summer. What’s wrong with him? The weight would have come off naturally. She always took care of herself.” I regretted saying as it came out of my mouth.

  “You didn’t tell me you saw her last summer.” Serge said.

  “It was a quick hello/good-bye. I hadn’t thought about it after.” Anthony laughed. I shut him down with a stern look.

  “He’s controlling but you of all people know how she likes that. It doesn’t matter. She does what she likes in the end. She’s looks curvy not fat. Look at the photos. You can see for yourself.” Carolina handed me the stack of pictures. I glanced at them and put them on the table. Serge picked them up.

  “These are great. I haven’t seen her in years. She looks exactly the same. Cute baby. Why is her top open in all the pictures?” Serge asked.

  “She nurses every twenty minutes. I told you she’s out of it. She loves that baby. Who knew she would be so into motherhood? Earth Momma," It was as if they were trying to rip my heart from my chest, hold it up and declare victory.

  “Here Danny, look at this one.” Serge handed me a picture.

  “Thanks but I’ve seen her boobs before.” What was wrong with me? The table laughed.

  “Look at the picture Danny. Beautiful baby. Why are they in black and white?” Serge forced the photo into my hand. He seemed irritated with me. Me too.

  I looked at the picture. Zelda sat propped up on the bed holding her baby. I didn’t look at the baby, only her. Her hair cascaded over the pillow, a dreamy smile on her face, her eyes so big, so happy. Her nightgown open, half of her breast exposed, large, full of milk I guessed. Time stopped, I was lost in the girl I would never have again. I dropped the picture back on the table and went to the bathroom and splashed cold water on my face. I took a deep breath and went back to the breakfast of pain.

  “Are you two a couple?” I asked knowing a good defense was a strong offense.

  “Strange isn’t it? Anthony always hated me when we were kids.” She answered.

  “I never hated you.” He put his arm around her.

  “I’m only here for a week. Then I go back Anthony.” She laughed.

  “I could transfer to Cornell.” This was too much.

  “Ease up Anthony.” Serge warned.<
br />
  “He’s kidding. The magic of Madrid will slip away now that we are back.” She put her hand on his, “Cute baby Danny, don’t you think?” She wasn’t going to let it go.

  “Yep.”

  She looked at me as if she were reassessing whatever game she was playing. “I talk to Serge all the time but not you in years. Catch me up. What happened to medical school? You were so ready to jump right into it. Wasn’t that why you couldn’t take a year off to travel with Zelda?”

  “I took a gap year after she left and never went back.” She was out to get me. Why?

  “So your relationship with her ran its natural course then? You must have been relieved when she didn’t come back so you could take that year unencumbered by her.” There was a trace of venom in her voice.

  “That’s it exactly. I was relieved to be “unencumbered” by her.”

  “Sarcasm? Seriously what was the thinking behind that? I’ve never understood it. I don’t think it’s something she would ever ask herself so I’m not going to trouble her with that question. That leaves you.”

  “Leave him alone Carolina.” Serge said.

  “Why are you dredging this up? Did she say something to you? Is she okay?”

  “She didn’t say a word about you.”

  “What is your angle then? She’s married with a baby. You want me to call her? Apologize? It’s been six years. We’ve moved on.”

  “She’s not married. She lost interest in that after her trip back home.”

  It didn’t matter that Zelda hadn’t married Paolo. She had his baby. What was done was done. Our breakfast arrived. I picked at my eggs. Everyone uncomfortable, we ate in silence.

  “Do you want to come back into Hollywood with us? I haven’t seen our parents yet. We could go visit together.” Carolina asked Serge.

  “I’m going to stay down here with Danny.” He patted my shoulder, “Dinner later?”

  “Perfect. Do you want to come over for dinner Danny?” Carolina smiled sweetly as if nothing had happened. She reached into her purse and took out a card and pen and began writing. “You should send Zelda and Louisa a gift. I’m sorry for being so intrusive. I must have jetlag.” She handed me the card.

  “Thanks but I have to pass. Busy week ahead.” I looked down at the card, “I’ll send her a gift. Serge do you want to run back home?” We got up, paid, said our good-byes, and left.

  “What was that about?” Serge asked as we walked down PCH.

  “Fuck if I know. She’s your sister. What was up with her and Anthony?”

  “We will never talk about her and Anthony. That didn’t happen. He’s a big guy now. Last time I saw him he was climbing a tree. I think she was trying to get you to call Zelda.”

  “Why? She looks pretty happy in that third world of a country she calls home.”

  “Spain’s not third world dude, Madrid’s a world-class city. Try living in Peru... She’s a rich girl living a rich girl’s life.”

  “I know that Serge. I was venting. I’m not calling her. I’ll send her a baby gift and be done with it.”

  “Cool. What about the asshole husband or boyfriend putting her on a diet? That girl was a bone growing up. I should know, she ran around my house in tank tops and underwear for half her life.”

  “You know how you don’t want to talk about Carolina and Anthony? I don’t want to talk about her body, okay? We good there? Paolo sounds like a dick. For all of her pretensions she was an idiot.”

  “If that’s what you need to tell yourself bro.” I never knew if our dude, bro, mans were serious or not.

  “Danny I don’t want to overstep our boundaries but I always wondered about you not going with her to Europe. The last time I saw the two of you together in Boston was at your apartment. She had all those brochures on schools for you... All that jumping up and down trying to get you to take a gap year or go to school over there for a year. It didn’t seem like she was asking for too much... Then you didn’t go anywhere anyway.”

  “It’s easy to look back on it now and say that. At the time it seemed like I would be putting my life on hold for some romantic whim of hers. I wouldn’t want to live over there, you know? I thought if she went away for a semester she would get it out of her system, and then... Well you were there for that... Her being with Paolo... I had been with her since she was fifteen. I don’t know... I thought she would be back within the year.

  That didn’t happen. That year turned into another year. She wasn’t coming home. I was kind of okay with it until she came back last summer. We good Serge?”

  “You never told me you saw her last summer. What happened? It must have been something for Carolina to make that attack.”

  “Nothing that would explain your sister’s takedown. Let’s run. Good warm-up for our wetsuits.”

  …

  Wiped out after a long day in the water I grabbed my laptop and got into bed. Baby presents. What to get? It was easy with my nephews. Boys, I understood. Zelda and all of her femininity and ideas, I couldn’t figure it out. I knew she would just throw away anything made of plastic, so toys were out. A dress, a baby outfit? She had probably bought everything anyway. I wanted to get something special, something that wouldn’t get lost in the wave of gifts she would receive.

  A blanket. I would get a blanket. Blankets were useful and Zelda were anything like Vanessa she would never have enough of them. I scrolled through pages not finding the right one. Pink, girls liked pink, but maybe Zelda was staying away from gender norms. That seemed like something she would be against at the worst possible time. No, from the pictures they had shown me she was in one of her overly feminine stages. Pink, pink, pink, all the blankets were too traditional or cute.

  It was 1:00 AM before I found the perfect one. The blanket wasn’t pink, feminine or silky. It was made of a sustainable natural fiber, bold colors, a map of the United States. It was perfect. It sent a message I didn’t want to think about. Let her wile away her nights figuring it out.

  I spent another half an hour composing the message. Everything I wrote was either needy or angry. I settled on Welcome to the World, simple and friendly, nothing that would require a follow-up. The thought of becoming one of her pen pals was my idea of Hell. I would do nothing to encourage that kind of correspondence. I didn’t even sign my name. Let her look at the package if she wanted to figure out the sender.

  I looked at the card Carolina had given me with her contact information. It was her business card, made of loose fiber, with a gold thread running through the center. She was always a crafty girl. I flipped it over to the information Carolina had written down. She had put it all down, email, cell, home and work. I sent it to her home. I next day aired it so that I wouldn’t have to think of about it anymore.

  I lay down to go to sleep. The waves outside pounded in a rhythm that had always knocked me into sleep before. Not that night of course. I thought Paolo, of him putting her on a diet. I got a little worked up. Did he have her under his thumb? Keeping her down by assaulting her self-image? I couldn’t imagine anyone breaking through her narcissism to take her down. No she had been the same way when I had seen her the year before. She wouldn’t stay with anyone who didn’t treat her well.

  2:00 A.M I couldn’t sleep. She was on my mind. Carolina had wanted me to call her. It would be 11:00 in Madrid. I put the thought away. I didn’t have anything to say to her. I opened my laptop and mindlessly scrolled through pages. A candy ad popped up. I thought of her again, of her sweet tooth specifically. Rollo’s, I would send Zelda her favorite candy. I sent it to her office so the asshole father of her baby wouldn’t take it from her. I ordered up a case. No note this time. I sent it and fell asleep.

  Chapter Ten

  It was Louisa’s first birthday. I thought of gathering up some of the neighborhood families and having a party for her but decided against it. The first birthday was always more for the parents. We would have many other years to be extravagant with ponies and party favors. I did indulge mys
elf by having matching dresses made for us.

  We invited Paolo’s friends and associates from the University along with Silviana and her cousins who sometimes helped me out with my production. It struck me while making the list that although I had lived in Madrid for almost seven years I hadn’t built any strong relationships.

  I met Silviana at the University when I had first come to Spain for the textile program on my semester abroad. She had been working for me for seven years and as an equal for the past five years.

  Although we were close I never spent much time with her outside of our studio. Occasionally we would go to a concert or play. We made plans to go to Gibraltar at one point but they fell away. I never liked the ocean much anyway.

  Paolo’s friends from the University were split. Most of the women merely put up with my presence not having appreciated a young American woman coming and taking one of their men away. They had warmed up over the years but still kept me at arm’s length. It had gotten a little better since Paolo and I had Louisa. After all the years it wasn’t something I wanted from them anymore.