Married by Mistake

by Abby Gaines

  The decision weighed on him like a ton of that stodgy cornbread Eloise was so certain he liked. He looked at his watch. “It’s nearly lunchtime. You must need a cigar by now.”

  The lawyer stood. “I’ve given them up.”

  Adam clamped his mouth shut to keep his jaw from dropping. “You love those things.” Sam didn’t smoke during working hours, but at the end of most evenings there were four or five cigar stubs in his ashtray.

  Sam shrugged. “Eloise doesn’t like it.”

  “Did she ask you to quit?”

  “She’s a lady, she’d never ask that. I wanted to do something for her.”

  Sam took his leave. Adam scowled at the door as it closed behind the lawyer. How did Eloise do that? Have men falling over themselves to do things for her without her having to ask? As far as Adam knew, she’d never asked anything of Sam. Adam realized now she’d probably never asked anything of his father, either. James had wanted to do things for his wife. Because he loved her.

  “Love, schmove,” Adam said.

  He yielded to the irritation that had been pricking at him all morning. Instead of enjoying his work, all he could think about was his wife.

  When had staying home with Casey started to outweigh the appeal of Carmichael Broadcasting?

  Staring unseeing at his computer, Adam realized it was before Casey had spent last Saturday night in his arms. The tenderness, the passion of that night were symptoms of his current malaise, not the cause.

  Which brought him to the real question: what exactly was this malady? There was only one diagnosis that didn’t give Adam the urge to lock himself in his office and never come out again.

  Lust.

  That Casey occupied his thoughts to an alarming extent, not just with the memory of her exquisite body, but with her smile, her eyes, her laugh, her kindness, her mind. It all came down to lust.

  He’d hurt her with his coldness the morning after they made love, he knew. But the generosity of her lovemaking had scared him. She’d given him everything, and that intimacy had been more precious than he’d known it could be.

  Was she in love with him? Or did she at least think she was?

  Adam told himself he hoped she meant what she’d said. That if on Saturday night she’d for some foolish reason thought she loved him, his coldness on Sunday morning had changed her mind.

  Because Adam didn’t do love. And he especially didn’t do adoring.

  He glanced at his desk calendar. If Sam’s petition to Judge Skelton was successful, the annulment would be through very soon. Life would go back to normal. Adam forced himself to smile.

  Hopefully, he and Casey could part as friends. Although, since Sunday morning, there hadn’t been anything more than chilly politeness between them.

  He should fix that before it was too late. Explain himself better, make sure she understood. And let her know he appreciated just how great her gift had been.

  The clock on his wall clicked over to noon. That’s right; she had the neighbors Adam had never met coming for lunch. At his house. With his wife.

  “Cancel my afternoon appointments,” Adam told his startled secretary. “I’m going home.”

  * * *

  THE DOORBELL RANG at noon, just as Casey typed “The End” at the bottom of her manuscript. She’d written the book, she’d revised it to her satisfaction, and now those two little words gave her a deep feeling of accomplishment.

  They also gave her a sense of foreboding. As if they might refer to more than her book.

  She pushed her uneasiness aside as she went downstairs, reminding herself to enjoy the release that came from not having an incomplete manuscript hanging over her head. I feel great, really I do. There was an almost genuine smile on her face as she pulled the heavy front door open to welcome the Harveys, and, coming up the walk behind them, Alison Dare and her children. “Come in,” Casey said.

  She’d just served the soup when Adam walked into the dining room.

  What was he doing here? Surely he wouldn’t throw the neighbors out, just because he’d told her not to invite them?

  He walked up to her, kissed her lightly on the lips. “Hi.”

  “Hi,” she said nervously.

  Adam scanned the room. “Are you going to introduce me to your friends?”

  Casey performed the introductions, then sat speechless through most of lunch as Adam chatted to Mr. and Mrs. Harvey about the changes in the neighborhood, and took an apparently genuine interest in Alison’s three not-very-well-behaved children.

  When Bob Harvey made mention of a street party as he left, Adam didn’t even flinch.

  * * *

  “WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?” she demanded, as he shut the door behind the departing guests.

  He headed for his den, Casey on his heels. “What do you mean?”

  “You didn’t want them here. Why were you

  so nice?”

  He leaned against the oak roll-top desk. “I know you could have coped on your own. But you

  shouldn’t have to.” When she didn’t say anything, he added reluctantly, “That neighborly stuff matters to you. I thought you’d like it if I was here.”

  Casey caught her breath. “What do you care if I’d like it? You don’t want me.”

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  THE PAIN BEHIND HER WORDS seared Adam’s conscience. “You can’t seriously believe I don’t want you.”

  “It’s what you said.”

  And he’d been planning on saying the same thing to her again now.

  They stood facing each other, a few feet apart, the tension almost a physical barrier between them.

  Adam drew a calming breath, loosened the fists he’d clenched at his sides. “I care about you, Casey. That’s why I came home. And I care about your future. You’re a wonderful person—I hope you find a man who deserves you.”

  She took a step closer to him, then another, until she stood only inches away. She swallowed. “What if I find him and he doesn’t want me?”

  How, despite his best intentions, could Adam not reach out and pull her to him, kiss her hard on the mouth?

  It took only a second of body-to-body contact for him to be on full alert and ready for a rerun of the other night. Casey’s arms were around his neck, and she was kissing him with a fervor that left him in no doubt as to her wants. He ran his hands down her back to cup her derriere, pulling her against him, and she whimpered with need.

  Clumsy with desire, he fumbled at the buttons of her shirt, at last managing to push the fabric aside to cup her breasts through the ivory satin of her bra. She arched against him, and he lowered his mouth to the swell of flesh. At the same time, he tugged the bottom of her shirt out of her shorts, slipped his hands inside her waistband. Suddenly, his progress eased considerably, and he realized she’d unsnapped her shorts. He slid them down and she stepped out of them. She began to tug at his belt.

  Dimly, Adam registered that the phone on the desk was ringing.

  He ignored it, concentrating instead on the incredible sensation of Casey’s fingers undoing his trousers, then pushing them down. He kicked off his pants, then backed her toward the couch, not lifting his mouth from the tender hollow he’d discovered where her neck met her shoulder.

  The room was silent, apart from muffled sounds of their need. So when Sam’s voice boomed out from the answering machine, it was as if a bucket of cold Mississippi water landed on them.

  “Adam, it’s Sam. Good news, my friend. I had a call from Judge Skelton’s office. He’s granted your annulment. I’ll send the paperwork out to you, but congratulations, you’re Memphis’s most eligible bachelor once again.”

  Adam would never have believed that not being married to Casey would be a complete passion killer. But it was. He no more wanted to make love to her now than she did to him—and he could see in her eyes that she’d gone right off the idea.

  “We can’t...” Casey choked on the words. She twisted from his embrace—he didn’t try to stop her—a
nd stumbled over to pick up her shorts, dragging them back on. Adam found his pants and dressed in silence, not trusting himself to speak for a moment.

  “So that’s it.” Somehow he managed to sound calm, even casual, as he ran a hand through his hair to smooth it. “We got our annulment.”

  “I heard,” she said shortly.

  Already, there was a distance between them that was more than just the abrupt end to their lovemaking. Frustration and disappointment gnawed at Adam, and suddenly the room wasn’t big enough for both of them. “I’m going for a run,” he said.

  * * *

  AFTER HE’D RUN NEARLY three miles, Adam turned around and headed for home. Each thud of his shoes on the sidewalk hammered in the reminder that Casey would leave soon.

  He didn’t want her to go. She added an extra dimension to his life that he would miss. He could make her stay, of course. He sensed that if he wooed her, she could love him. She might even love him already. And marriage was in his long-term plan. So why not?

  Because of the kind of marriage Casey wanted.

  She wanted to be the most important thing in her husband’s life. She’d never put it in those terms, but what else did being adored mean?

  Adam breathed more heavily as he ran uphill. Only half a mile to go. Think faster.

  He cared for Casey. He even loved her, in his own way. Though he wouldn’t risk telling her that, in case she assumed he meant her kind of love. He wanted to be with her, he wanted to make love to her with a fierceness that scared him. He wanted to have children with her.

  Never mind that until Sam mentioned it, he’d never thought about kids. Right now, something inside Adam went mushy at the prospect of a child of his own.

  A son.

  A chance for Adam to be the kind of dad his own father had never been.

  A chance to heal some of the hurt of his youth, to set a new pattern for the Carmichael family. Adam snorted. Healing! He was starting to sound like Casey.

  He rounded the corner onto his street. Home was just a couple of hundred yards away.

  He forced himself to focus on the practicalities. As Sam said, having a child would prove their marriage was genuine. It could be the key to securing their future.

  Adam wasn’t prepared to trade his independence for the emotional ties he’d convinced himself Casey would demand. But maybe he was wrong about her. She’d changed in the past month, as he had. Her willingness to make love to him this evening, when she knew their relationship was nearing its end, when he’d reiterated they had no future, suggested a more practical attitude toward love.

  Maybe he should lay his cards on the table, find out if his kind of love was enough to make a marriage work.

  * * *

  IT TOOK CASEY a few seconds to identify the source of the dread that enveloped her the moment she awoke the next day. She looked around her bedroom, with its luxurious furnishings, the wooden shutters at the window. This place had become home remarkably fast.

  But no longer. There was nothing to keep her here.

  She was thankful Sam’s call had come before she and Adam made love again yesterday. How much harder today would have been! With the annulment, they’d tied up the last of the loose ends. The only remaining problem—Casey’s broken heart—wasn’t going to be fixed in a hurry. And it wasn’t going to be fixed here.

  She arrived downstairs for breakfast later than normal and was surprised to find Adam still at the table, lost in contemplation.

  He looked up at her and smiled, a movement of the mouth belied by the strain in his eyes. “Won’t you join me?” he said, almost as if she were a stranger.

  Casey tipped cereal into her bowl and nodded her thanks as Adam poured her a cup of hot tea. She ate in silence, aware of his somber scrutiny the whole time.

  It was off-putting, and she pushed her bowl away when she was barely half-finished. The movement seemed to act as a cue.

  “Can we talk?” he said.

  “Of course.” Were there more legalities to deal with?

  Adam cleared his throat, and she realized he was nervous.

  “This might sound odd,” he said, “but now that we’re no longer married...will you marry me?”

  A bubble of hope, joy and laughter rose from deep within her, splitting her face in a grin. “Are you serious?”

  Even as Casey asked, she realized Adam was extremely serious. In fact, he looked more as if he was about to have a tooth pulled rather than get married. And nothing like a man who had just realized he was in love. “Tell me more,” she said with careful neutrality.

  “It makes good sense,” he said, and she had the impression he was launching into a prepared argument. “We get along well, I enjoy spending time with you, we’re physically compatible. You’re a great wife, and I think you’d make a wonderful mother. We could remarry without anyone knowing we’d had our first marriage annulled.”

  “So it’s convenient,” she said. “And it fits nicely with your father’s will.”

  He shook his head, seeming annoyed at her logical summation, even though it was just the sort of thing he would say himself. “I still believe I’ll win in court, if that’s all there is to it. But I’m very fond of you, Casey. We could make a good life together. Very fond.”

  Fond. That was how she’d felt about Joe. Five weeks ago, Casey had been prepared to give up on the idea of a man who adored her. Could what Adam offered be enough? Could she be satisfied with fondness on his part, and desperate, all-consuming love on hers?

  “And Eloise loves you,” he said.

  Which only served to remind her that Adam didn’t. And that Eloise had never given up on finding true love.

  Casey added sugar to her tea, even though she preferred it unsweetened, and concentrated on stirring the gold liquid.

  “We could have a baby,” Adam said. “I know you’d like that.”

  Casey froze.

  “Sam was saying a baby would help with our legal battle,” he said. “He’ll ask the court to delay its decision. He says the best way to prove our relationship is lasting and committed is to have a child.” He paused, then a smile—a boyish grin—creased his face. He reached across the table, grabbed her hands. “A baby, Casey. Let’s get married and have a baby.”

  Casey removed her hands from his. “Adam.” Her voice shook. “I can’t have children.” And though she’d known it for a long time, telling him now brought a stab of pain so fresh it took her breath away.

  It seemed a full minute before Adam spoke. “What do you mean—can’t?” he asked, dazed.

  Somehow she strung the words together. “When I had a perforated appendix as a teenager, I got an infection in my pelvis that damaged my reproductive system. The doctors tell me I’ll never conceive.” She pressed her lips together. “Does that answer your question?”

  “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” His tenderness was unexpected, and tears smarted in Casey’s eyes. Adam came around the table and dropped down beside her. Gently, he pushed a strand of hair behind her ear, then ran a finger down her cheek. “My poor darling,” he said, and her heart leaped. “I don’t know what to say....”

  Tell me you love me, that you want me for myself.

  But she might as well wish for the problem with her fertility to magically disappear. Adam was being kind, but in his eyes she could still see shock and, worse, distance.

  She looked at him steadily, made absolutely sure he understood what she was saying, and put the final nail in the coffin. “So if you want a child, it won’t be with me.”

  She saw, in the sudden blankness of his expression, that he was letting her go. That although he wanted to marry her—and she knew, even if he didn’t, that his offer included some degree of emotional commitment—he wanted to secure the business more. And she accepted that. He would never love her as much as she loved him, no matter how fond he was of her now.

  He had made his choice; now she must make hers. So though it hurt beyond measure, she pushed her chair back and stoo
d. “I’ll leave tomorrow.”

  “Casey, there’s no rush. Can’t we—?”

  “My writing conference starts tomorrow night,” she reminded him. “It’ll take all day to drive to Dallas.” She paused. “I won’t come back afterward.”

  Adam looked at her, stone-faced, and said nothing.

  * * *

  CASEY COULDN’T HAVE children!

  Adam was still struggling to absorb it as he lay in bed, trying to sleep.

  He felt betrayed, as if she had lied to him. He shouldn’t, of course he shouldn’t, but she’d allowed him to come to this momentous decision that he wanted to marry her, which went against all good sense, without telling him the one thing that would never have allowed him to get to this point.

  He was being totally unreasonable, he knew. Hadn’t he reiterated over and over to Casey that their marriage would have no future beyond the time it took to get an annulment? Until now, her fertility had been none of his business.

  And yet he felt cheated of the babies he’d pictured them making together, robbed of the family life he’d imagined.

  But however painful this was for him, it was worse for her. A part of him wanted to take her in his arms, comfort her, murmur to her that it didn’t matter, they’d be all right.

  But it did matter. And they wouldn’t be all right.

  * * *

  CASEY DIDN’T SEE ADAM again until the next morning. She breakfasted early, alone, then went to pack her bags. She’d half hoped, half dreaded that he would go to work without saying goodbye, but when she came downstairs at nine o’clock, he was waiting.

  “I’ll take those.” He picked up her bags and carried them outside, where he loaded them into the trunk of the Fiesta. It took only a minute, then she was ready to leave.

  She cleared her throat. “Goodbye, Adam. It’s been a memorable month. Thanks for your help.” She stuck out a hand, but he ignored it.

  Instead, he cupped her face in his palms and kissed her fiercely. “Goodbye, Casey.”

  She clambered into the car, holding herself rigid so she wouldn’t cry. She turned the key in the ignition and—nothing happened. She tried again, several times. Still nothing.