by Blue Saffire
“Seriously?” I say with my mouth hanging open. I didn’t know my father had game.
“Yes. He had me right there. I knew he was my husband in that exact moment. Now, my question to you. Do you know who this Ryan is to you?”
I don’t have to think about her question. However, I won’t admit it to her or Ryan. I’ve fallen in love with him. I know it’s been super-fast and that scares me a bit, but I feel like I’ve known him for so much longer. We’ve found this easiness about our relationship. His humor and teasing have grown on me.
“You don’t have to answer me. As long as you know, that’s what matters. That’s where the courage to tell your father what you want will come from.”
“I think you will like him. Ryan is smart and caring. He listens to everything I say. It’s one of the things that I love most. I know he’s listening.”
“I can’t wait to meet him,” she says with a secret little smile.
I can’t help the feeling that she’s not saying something. I let it go as my stomach starts to complain and demand I finish the food in front of me. My mother makes sure I’m nice and full before I leave.
Okay, I may be a little spoiled.
Ryan
I start my car when Carmen steps out of the house to get into hers. Before getting into the driver’s seat, she hauls a black bag into the trunk, tugging at my curiosity. She’s been with her mother from this morning, well into the afternoon. I’ve gotten used to her routine, which includes visits to her mother at least three times a week.
“Did you hear what I said?” Felix asks from the Bluetooth connection.
“Yeah, I’ve got you. I’ll be there for the fitting tomorrow. Ne already agreed to cover for me and spend time with his sister.”
“How is that working out?”
“It’s fine.”
Felix goes silent. I groan. I don’t need him in my business. I’m doing my job. That’s all that counts.
“What aren’t you saying?”
“Now I get why you guys think I’m annoying.”
He chuckles. “You’re not the only observant one. You’re my little brother. I know when something’s bothering you. What’s up?”
I blow out a breath and turn on my signal to turn at the next light along with Carmen’s car. I’ve had a lot on my mind in the last few weeks. Things that have started to eat at me.
“I’m lying to her. This shit is going to blow up in my face. She means too much to me for me not to protect her, but I’m digging a deeper hole with the lies with each day that passes.”
Felix releases a long whistle. “Yeah, that can be a big problem. For now, though, her safety is the biggest concern. If she cares about you as much as it sounds like you care about her, then it will work out.”
I snort to myself. Care about her. I’m in love with her. It’s like that shit came out of nowhere and hit me with a bat. It’s only been a few weeks, but she’s all I think about and I can’t wait for the moments I get to spend at her side.
“I hope you’re right.”
“Yeah, it sucks to be in love with someone and know you have shit between you that can threaten it all.”
“Yeah.”
Felix falls silent again. I frown as I ride a few cars behind Carmen’s car. I glance to make sure the call is still connected.
“You do realize you just admitted to loving her?” he finally says.
I shrug as if he can see me. “And? You know I don’t play that shit. She’s mine. I made my peace with my feelings. She’s what I want. Why fight it?”
“Excuse me.” Felix chuckles. “You’ll figure this out. Keep her safe.”
“That’s what I’m doing genius. I don’t need you to tell me that.”
“Bro, that pissy attitude isn’t going to change the situation. It’s only going to get your ass kicked.”
“Who’s going to kick it?”
“Me.”
“Yeah, you can sniff the crack of my ass. If you don’t need anything else I’m out.”
He laughs and hangs up on me. I don’t much care. We’ve arrived at Carmen’s apartment building. She parks and gets out. I park and get out of my car causally as if I’m arriving at the same time by coincidence.
Carmen looks tired as she steps from the driver’s seat. I walk right up to her and tug her into my arms. She looks up from her phone surprised.
I kiss her parted lips and she smiles that sweet smile. I could stand here staring at her all day. Instead, I tuck her under my arm after she gathers her things and lead her to her apartment.
“You finished work early again?”
“Yeah, got most of it done this morning.”
She tips her head back. “Hm. I’m going to have to ask your brothers about this. I think you’re the slacker in the family.”
I chuckle. “Whatever, baby. How was your time with your mom?”
She groans. “I think she was trying to kill me today.”
I knit my brows as I look down at her while she unlocks the door. She pushes the door open and we both walk inside. Carmen drops her bag and heads to the kitchen.
“She tried to kill you?”
She waves me off and gets a glass of water. I wait for her to give me a real answer. Placing the glass down, she chews her lip as if she’s thinking over whether she’ll explain.
“We work out together when I go over,” she says but I know there’s more to it than that from the way her eyes won’t settle on me.
I decide to let it go for now. She truly looks exhausted. I round the counter and lift her into my arms.
She wraps her arms around my neck and places her forehead to mine. I’ve waited all day to have her in my embrace like this. I take her lips as we enter her room.
It’s a slow kiss. I’m not looking to deepen it too much. My plan is to get her into the bed so she can take a nap.
“You’re the best.” She sighs as I put her on the bed and remove her shoes from her feet. “Ugh, I need a shower.”
“Nap first. We can shower after.”
Her lids are too heavy for her to protest my words. Her shoes barely hit the floor before she’s snoring. I laugh and kiss her forehead. She’ll probably be hungry when she wakes.
I head to the kitchen to find something to cook for my girl. While I’m searching, I think back to her hesitance to reveal what she and her mother do on their visits. Secrets. I hate them, yet we seem to have a few between us.
Chapter 16
Oops
Carmen
I wake to the smell of something delicious in my apartment. I look at the clock on my desk and groan. I can’t believe I’ve been asleep for so long. I don’t remember passing out.
I slip off the bed and start to strip from my clothes. As good as that food smells, I need a shower. I put on a robe and start to collect my things to head to the bathroom.
“Hey, sleepyhead.” Ryan appears leaning in the doorway.
I smile. “Hey. I’m going to shower and change. I’ll be right out.”
He pulls his shirt over his head. “I thought we agreed we’d take that shower together.”
I bite my lip as I stare at his chest. Yeah, a shower with him does sound better than one by myself. I move closer to him and place my hand over his heart.
When I look into his eyes, I can’t help but wonder if he knows I’m falling in love with him. He has to know. This connection between us has been steadily growing.
He brushes his fingertips across my cheek. Those gorgeous eyes seem to look through me as he searches my face. He tilts his head toward the bathroom.
“Come on.”
I nod and follow him as he takes my free hand in his and leads me to the bathroom. Once we’re behind the closed door, he takes my things from my hand and places them on the countertop. I move to the sink and brush my teeth.
Ryan moves behind me and removes my robe from my shoulders. While I brush and rinse my mouth out, he hangs the robe on the back of the door. I turn and lean against the
sink as I watch him.
A part of me can’t believe that I’m standing here naked before him as he loosens his belt and unfastens his pants. I bite my lip as he steps out of his jeans and tosses them aside. I move closer to him as if my feet have a mind of their own.
Placing my hands on his stomach, I make eye contact with him. Slowly, I glide my hands up his warm smooth skin. He dips to kiss me and palms my backside.
It doesn’t take long before he lifts me onto his waist and starts for the shower. I almost forgot why we were in here in the first place. I slide down his body and reach for my shower cap.
One side of his mouth turns up. He shakes his head. I lift my shoulders. We’ve been together long enough. He knows better.
“You already know the deal,” I say.
“You look like Marvin the Martian,” he says.
My mouth falls open. I swat at his chest as he laughs. Turning my back, I tuck my hair into my cap. I turn on the water and ignore him standing behind me.
The water feels like heaven as it starts to cascade down over me. Ryan wraps me in his embrace and buries his face against my neck. I still don’t respond to him.
“You’re mad at me?” he says into my ear. “You’re a cute Martian. Come on, baby. Don’t be mad at me.”
He sucks the skin on my neck into his mouth. I have to press my hands to the shower wall to hold myself upright. He groans as he continues to suck on my flesh. His length presses into my cheeks as he grows harder by the second.
“Ry,” I whisper.
“You forgive me?” he says then licks my neck.
I don’t even remember what I was mad about. I turn to him and grab his face. I kiss him hard and he returns it, taking over to deepen the kiss and devour me.
My back hits the shower wall as he grabs my breasts. He pinches my nipples and rolls them with his long fingers. I gasp and whimper as he breaks the kiss and dips his head to capture one of my hardened peaks.
“Tell me what you want, baby,” he says against my breast.
I go to reply, but I suddenly feel dizzy. I put a hand out to steady the spinning room. Ryan looks up at me with concern. He straightens and looks down at me. Cupping my face, he observes me closely.
“Are you all right? What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know. I feel a little dizzy.”
Without another word, he cuts off the shower and lifts me into his arms. He puts me down long enough to wrap a towel around his waist and to place my robe back on my body. After, I’m back in his arms he takes me back into my bedroom.
He sits, bringing me into his lap. Pinching my chin between his fingers he lifts my head, his gaze bounces across my face. “Did you eat lunch?”
“Oh no! I left my leftovers on the counter. Mommy packed some for you too. I wanted you to taste her roti.”
I left the bag she made for me right on the kitchen counter. I don’t know how I forgot it. I had it in my hand at one point. Darn it.
“Focus, baby. So you did eat.”
“Yes.” I nod and pout as I think of the food I left behind.
A little smile comes to his lips. He sucks the bottom one into his teeth. It’s so sexy to watch, I lose my breath and my lips part as I stare.
“I’m going to ask you some questions. Don’t freak out when I do,” he says, bringing my attention back to our conversation.
“Okay.”
“Are you on birth control?”
I laugh. “Yeah right. Between classes and studying, I’ve never had time to date. Not seriously. Besides, my father doesn’t make it any easier. I’m like a princess in a bubble—” I stop talking when I realize I’m rambling.
“Sorry. No, I’m not on birth control,” I say.
He nods. “Carmen,” he says slowly. “Baby, when was the last time you had a period? I’ve been inside you almost every day since I showed up on your doorstep that first night. It’s been over a month…” he lets his words trail off.
“Oh my god.” I jump up and tug my shower cap off. I stare at my feet as my mind races. “No, no, no. Ryan no.”
I turn and race to my drawer and pull out panties and a bra. I throw them on quickly. I find a pair of leggings and tug them on too.
“Where are you going?”
“I need to get a pregnancy test. I can’t be pregnant. My father is going to lose it.”
“Baby, you need to calm down. If you’re pregnant, the last thing you need to do is stress out and run off.”
The gentle tone of his voice causes me to stop and turn to face him. He’s looking at me with a twinkle in his eyes. I cover my belly and stare up at him.
“I could be pregnant, Ry,” I say the words in almost a whisper.
“Yeah, babe. Which means, my pull out game is trash.”
I twist my lips and roll my eyes at him. “Really?”
He shrugs. “Facts. Your pussy was so good that first night. I’m not surprised I fucked up.”
He moves over to me and wraps me in his arms. I can’t help shaking my head at him. He kisses the top of my head and gives me a little squeeze.
I sigh. “So this is a fuck up to you?”
He pulls back enough to look down at me. His face is the most serious I’ve ever seen. There’s something there that I can’t put my finger on.
“That’s not what I meant. I meant that I was supposed to pull out, not get you pregnant. Now that you are, I’m happy as fuck. My baby is having our baby. Told you our story would be the best yet.” With that, he captures my lips in a searing kiss.
I moan and cling to his damp hair. He slides his hand into my bra and starts to knead my breast. I whimper and he turns us for the bed.
He lowers me to the bed and climbs on over me. I pant and squirm beneath him as he kisses his way down from my collarbone to between my breasts. I go to help him with my leggings when the doorbell rings.
I growl and punch the bed. I’ll kill Gigi if she lost her key again. Ryan mutters under his breath as he allows me room to get up. I quickly find a shirt and make my way to the front door.
When I pull it open, all the blood drains from my face. Ne and his assistant, Yui, are standing before me. My heart starts to pound as Ryan’s naked body in my bedroom pops into my head. His jeans are still in the bathroom.
“What are you doing here?” I breathe as I find my voice.
Ne looks at me like I’m crazy. “What kind of greeting is that?”
“I’m sorry. I… um. I wasn’t expecting you.”
“Well, mom wanted me to drop off the food you forgot.” He moves into the apartment before I can stop him. I groan under my breath and close the door as he and Yui move into the living room. “I remember when my little sister was always happy to see me.”
“I’m happy to see you,” I say. “Um, give me a second.”
I rush to the bathroom for Ryan’s pants. I need him to get dressed before my brother sees him. Ne may be on my side most of the time, but I don’t think my naked boyfriend will go over so well as an introduction.
I grab the pants and rush to my bedroom. Ryan is lying on the bed with his arms behind his head as he looks up at the ceiling. He looks so sexy, I can’t help taking a moment to take him in. He turns to look at me and gives me a smile as he holds a hand out to me. I shake my head quickly, clearing it of my lust and toss him his pants and underwear.
“My brother is here with his assistant. You have to get dressed,” I say quickly.
Humor lights his eyes. “Babe, why do I get the feeling you’re ashamed of me? Are you going to introduce me to your brother?”
“Ryan,” I warn.
“Okay, okay.” He sits up and starts to tug on his clothes.
I push a hand into my hair. This day is turning out to be crazy. I’m still processing the fact that I could be pregnant.
This is so bad. Hiding film school was one thing. Hiding a baby isn’t going to work out. Not even Aunt Mariah can save me from this one. Or maybe she can send me somewhere to hide me.
&n
bsp; First, I need to get through my brother meeting my boyfriend. One thing at a time. I wipe my sweaty palms against my leggings.
“You look like you’ve seen a ghost. Relax, your brother will love me.”
“Ry, I swear. I’ll kill you if you start with that smart mouth. Let him get to know you first.”
“Handling my mouth is part of getting to know me. I’d never ask you to be anyone but you around my family.” I palm my forehead. This is going to be a disaster. Ne has always been laid back, but he has a temper. Ryan can try the patience of a saint. “Relax,” he repeats.
I blow out a breath as he kisses the top of my head. I nod and turn for us to go out and face the music. I’m shaking as we walk out into the living room.
“Ne,” I say as we stand before my brother sitting on the couch. “I want you to meet my boyfriend, Ryan.”
Ne narrows his eyes at Ryan. His gaze drops to our entwined hands. To my surprise, he stands and crosses his arms over his chest. He keeps his glare on Ryan.
“Why is your hair wet as if you’ve come out of the shower?” Ne says to Ryan.
“Your sister only has one of those shower caps and she was already using it.”
I squeeze the hell out of Ryan’s hand and dig my nails into his skin. I go to talk my way out of this mess. The last thing I need is for my brother to run to my father to tell him that I have a boyfriend I’m sleeping with. Not that that’s not going to come out soon enough.
However, Ne’s phone rings and I’m saved. With a frown, my brother excuses himself to take the call. I chew on my lip while I watch him go.
When I turn back to the couch, Yui sits looking between the two of us with a secret smile on her face. Like Ne and I, you can see her Japanese heritage, but her African American roots show through as well. Her pretty dark skin has always been something I envy. Yui brings to mind Taral Hicks and that movie Belly.
“We will talk soon,” Ne says as he returns and nods for Yui to follow him.
“I look forward to it,” Ryan replies as if my brother is talking to him.
I elbow his side and glare up at him. I swear, I’m going to choke him. I wait until my brother is out of the door before I spin on Ryan.