Brothers Black 6: Ryan the Joker (Brothers Black Series)

by Blue Saffire

  “I never knew everything, but I knew enough to know it was big enough to weigh on him. Now here I am in the middle of a bunch of damn secrets. She’s so happy and she’s finding her way into her own, you know? What’s going to happen when she finds out the truth?”

  John grunts before he speaks. “There’s nothing like watching a woman you care about come into her own. It’s like watching a flower bloom. But here’s something I’ve learned. You can’t hover because you become a shadow and kill the light that’s feeding that growth.”

  “Allow her to have this time. How it’s coming about isn’t important. Her happiness is. Focus on that. Watch her shine in the light. It’s all you can do for now.”

  I hear his words but I don’t want to accept them. There has to be another way. How can I build a life with the woman I love when I’m lying to her?

  As if reading my mind, John answers my thoughts. “You’re doing this out of love. Besides, she can’t hide my niece or nephew for too long. She’ll have to tell her father soon enough.”

  I smile as I think about our baby growing inside her. “Dude, I’m trying not to be a total ass so I haven’t mentioned it to her, but do you see her baby bump. I swear it’s like it came out of nowhere. I love that shit.”

  “Best feeling in the world, isn’t it?”

  “Fuck yeah.” I grin and turn to look at my big brother. “Wow, we’re all going to be fathers. Three years ago I would have called bullshit. Now, I’m so ready for this.”

  John frowns and this time he turns to the ocean to stare. My wheels start to turn and I look at my brother more closely. Suddenly, the pieces start to click.

  “She wasn’t just threatening you with suicide. There was a baby involved,” I say aloud.

  He nods. “At least that’s what she told me. I trusted her at first. I took her word for truth. However, I’m a PI. At some point, the pieces didn’t fit and I started to dig.”

  “She was never pregnant like she said. Her roommate was. She used her pregnancy test to fool me. When we had that fight….” He pauses and swallows. “We had an argument. She started it, I don’t even remember what it was over.”

  “One minute we were arguing and I left. The next morning she claimed to have lost the baby, I felt so guilty and she used that against me. It was like her own personal weapon for years.”

  I release a long low whistle. “Bro, I knew you hated her for some reason, but I could never figure out what the heck was going on between you two.”

  “I didn’t want you to. I know you all too well. I kept it to myself. The guilt turned from me wanting to help her through her grief to loathing her for using it against me. The relationship had been over a long time ago.”

  “And when Roni came into the picture you admitted the truth to yourself?”

  He shrugs and turns to look me in the eyes. “I think I was ready to walk away and deal with the consequence before Roni. Meeting her sped things up. Everything about my relationship with Missy was toxic.”

  He stops to frown. I grin as I read his thoughts. “See, lies. I hate them.”

  He gives a dry chuckle. “Damn, you have a point.” He runs a hand through his hair. “If you decide to tell her, I’ll back you up.”

  “Thanks. That means a lot. I’m going to do as Nash asks for the time being. Carmen’s not ready to face him. I don’t want to lie, but I don’t want to be the catalysis that throws the ball in motion on this either.” I pause for a beat to ponder on that. “I don’t think.”

  “I understand that. Come on, she looked upset when you left out. You don’t want her to think you’re upset about the trip. Everything fell right into place. Don’t mess it up now.”

  “Don’t worry, I’m not going to blow your chance at kinky heaven.”

  “Fuck you.” He chuckles.

  “Nah, I’ll leave that for Roni and the freaks in Sydney.”

  I stand quickly and dart out of the way before he can hit me. John hits too damn hard for me to let him catch me slipping. I laugh all the way back to the house as he chases after me.

  When we step inside, he tosses an arm around my shoulders and leans to whisper in my ear. “You’re going to make a great husband and father. She knows that. It’s in the way she looks at you. Stop worrying so much.”

  With that, he squeezes my shoulder and heads to break up the squabble Roni and Torque are in the middle of. I swallow past the lump in my throat. I look up to all my brothers, no matter what I might say. Hearing one of them put so much faith in me means a whole lot.

  “You got this, Ry,” I mutter to myself.

  Chapter 27

  Power in Mastery

  Carmen

  I sit in the private box wide-eyed, staring at the scene before me play out. I don’t have my camera. Over the course of the conference, I haven’t been able to record any scenes where the participants didn’t want to be recorded or if their faces are bare. The couple in front of us not only refused to be on camera, they’re gorgeous faces are bare as well.

  “Makes you want milk and cookies, doesn’t it?” Ryan chuckles in my ear.

  I palm my cheeks. “Oh God, Oreo cookies have popped in my head a few times,” I groan. “Is that terrible?”

  “No. Not the way he’s feasting on her cookies. Shit.”

  I shake my head at Ryan, but I can’t tear my eyes away from the couple before us. So many thoughts are running through my head. I’ve never thought about what Ryan and I look like to the outside world. His skin is much paler than mine, but I can’t say that I’ve given that much notice during sex.

  However, this couple… they’re breathtaking. Their contrast reminds me of Toby and Kamara. The guy below on the stage is white, white. Like, I’m sure he hasn’t sunbathed in a while, not that that wouldn’t help, and the woman, she’s the color of onyx with a glow to her dark skin that’s amazing. Total opposites.

  Running my hands across piano keys comes to mind. After all, these two move in perfect harmony as he seeks to give her pleasure and she gives herself over to it. I’ve been riveted to this beauty for the last thirty minutes.

  I watched with awe when her master poured oil on her skin. Her body became a picture of liquid glass. I’ve never seen a more beautiful sight. As his pale hands danced across her flesh, I felt like I was watching something too intimate for the rest of us to see.

  Now, as his head is buried between her thighs and the silver nipple clamps are fastened to her hardened, dark chocolate peaks with the beaded chain he keeps tugging, my breath is caught in my throat. It’s a sight that’s awe-inspiring, to say the least.

  “He’s showing so much restraint,” I whisper.

  Ryan places a hand on the back of my neck and starts to massage. My already aroused body tightens with need and anticipation as if I’m the one below ready to come. I ball my fists and try to concentrate.

  “Restraint becomes simple when all you want is your partner’s pleasure.” My pulse quickens as his breath fans my skin. I hadn’t realized he moved so near.

  The little viewing sofa is spacious enough that Ryan hadn’t been so close. He had been sprawled out, his arms across the back of the sofa and his long legs spread comfortably. Now he’s so close I can feel his body heat against my side.

  I’ve been avoiding glances at him. The leather pants he’s wearing are sexy on him. They’re tight enough for the imprint of his dick to show through. It’s not helping that he’s shirtless. It’s the suggested attire for tonight. Every event has had one.

  As I register his words and his nearness, I start to breathe harder. A shiver rolls through me. Sucking my lip into my mouth, I look down into my lap.

  “You speak as if you know more from experience. It’s been that way for the entire Con. None of this is new to you, is it?”

  I’ve been wanting to ask for days now. I brushed off his rope play comment before we come here as Ryan being Ryan. However, once we arrived and started to go to the workshops, I began to see my boyfriend in a new light. H
e knows a lot about this life.

  John and Roni seem to too. Torque has been like a kid in a candy shop. I’ve seen him get involved in workshops and the after parties as well. The sparkle in his eyes has been quite telling.

  Ryan shrugs. “I’ve had an experience or two. Let’s just say someone thought it was a good idea to allow John to be in charge of my eighteen birthday.” He chuckles.

  “I don’t think I want to know the story behind that one.”

  He kisses my temple. “No, you don’t. Carmen?”

  I force my eyes away from the couple below. Turning my head slowly, my gaze is met with golden eyes that are blazing with lust. He places his fingers beneath my chin and lifts my head.

  His lips are only a breath away from mine as he speaks. “We can continue to watch this or we can take advantage of this viewing suite. I know you’re wet. I can tell by the way you’re squeezing your thighs. It’s nothing at all for me to fulfill your fantasies. Ask and I’m yours. I promise what he’s doing down there has nothing on me.”

  My pussy gushes in my panties. The deep rumble of his voice and the way his breath tickles my lips combined are enough to have me panting with want and need. I reach up to push his overgrown hair from his face.

  He hasn’t had a cut since we arrived here in Australia. Sometimes I feel like he’s afraid to let me out of his sight or something. Back in Barbados, a guy would come once a week to cut it for him.

  I secretly like seeing his hair untamed. It speaks to the real Ryan. Yes, he’s smooth and put together when he wants to be, but there’s something unhinged about Ry that you can’t deny.

  A “rough around the edges, do as I please, handle my business and dare others to get in the way” vibe. All things I promised myself I didn’t want in a boyfriend. Now, I wouldn’t want him any other way and I love him just the way he is.

  I lick my lips. “Talk is cheap, Black. If you can do better than that, show me,” I say boldly.

  “That’s my girl. Talk shit and see what happens. I love a challenge,” he retorts with a wicked grin on his lips.

  Yes, I know I just signed a check my butt can’t cash. Oh well. That’s what soaker tubs are for.

  Ryan

  That defiant spark in her eyes is something new that I like. It matches the Carmen I know. The one that’s been defying her father and secretly defining who she wants to be. Before the actions were there, but not the confidence to own them.

  However, in this moment, as I look deep into her eyes it’s all there. The defiance and the confidence that she didn’t have two weeks ago. That’s what I love about the BDSM life.

  There’s something empowering about it. Not only for the Dom but for the Sub as well. I always tell people not to knock it before they try it. There’s so much more to it than the books and movies. That shit isn’t the life.

  Knowledge is key and the life gives you knowledge. Knowledge of self, knowledge of pleasure, knowledge of give and surrender. Not my Sub’s surrender to me, but our surrender to each other and the release of the chaos that can consume our minds.

  I stand and move before her view of the stage below. “Come here,” I command as I lock eyes with my woman.

  She stands with that adorable look of awe on her face. She looks sexy as fuck in the pink satin robe and red heels they gifted all the women tonight. However, it’s the little outfit beneath that I want to get a look at.

  She takes the few steps to close the distance between us. I don’t move an inch. I watch as her chest begins to heave with anticipation.

  “Release the ties. Take the robe off, slowly.”

  She nods and reaches for the ties. I like that she keeps eye contact. She had gotten into the habit of not looking me in the eyes after the first few nights here. That doesn’t feel right for us. I read her through her soft orbs. I’m not on that kind of power play. It’s fine when we’re out in the parties and general events, but when we’re alone I won’t accept it.

  She peels the ties apart and slowly pulls the fabric from her shoulders. The pink satin floats to the floor and her beautiful body comes into view. Her swollen belly is on display, causing me to smile inside.

  My baby has been making itself known in the last few weeks. There’s no way she’s hiding that bump from her father. She’s lucky I’m not taking her back to Cali yet.

  “So beautiful,” I murmur and palm her stomach. “It’s important we communicate. It’s always important during play, but we have our little one to think about. If anything is too much or uncomfortable, we stop. You have to let me know. I won’t put you or the baby at risk.”

  “Should we be doing this?” she asks, concern crossing her face.

  “It’s fine, as long as we communicate and take our time, it will be fine. It’s no more risky than all the shit we already do.”

  That brings a smile to her lips. I tap my lips. Following the silent command, she lifts on her toes to kiss them. I look over toward the display in the room. These suites are set up for this. You can view the action below through the two-way mirror or create your own. Some do both.

  For us, the scene below shall be forgotten. I’m not going to lie. I started to get a little jealous. Carmen has been intrigued by a lot of the scenes and workshops, but those two down there know how to command a room. Hell, even I was captivated until my woman grabbed my attention.

  Watching her has been the biggest turn-on of the night. The way her full lips parted in awe. David and Christena are a gorgeous couple, but they have nothing on me and my girl.

  Lifting my other hand, I finger the strap of her lacey bra. I ordered this set special for her. The corsets they gifted everyone else weren’t safe for her and Roni so John and I took care of it.

  Goosebumps rise across her breasts. Licking my lips, I can’t wait to taste her skin. One of the gifts in the basket for tonight was flavored lotion. On the first day we filled out packets with our preferences for each night. I remember the choices for tonight because of the caramel flavored lotion.

  I dip my head and lick her neck for a taste. A groan leaves my lips. The flavor is more intense than I expected. She really tastes like caramel.

  “Ry,” she whispers.

  “Sh. No talking. I want you to listen and feel.”

  She pouts a little, but she doesn’t protest. I have a reason for this. I want her to understand the sacrifice a man in love is willing to make.

  “Restraint is your power, not mine but yours. Watch and learn.” I take a small step back. I lift my chin and give the command. “Turnaround.”

  She does as I say. Damn, I’m a lucky man. The black lace thong she has on is swallowed by her ass. Those round globes alone could end this night. I want nothing more than to bury my face between them.

  “Take the bra off.”

  Again she obeys without question. I’m so hard, I have to unfasten my pants. No matter how much pain I’m in, I’m not rushing this.

  There’s a change in Carmen and I want her to see what I see.

  Carmen

  I can see him behind me in the reflection of the mirrors that surround the room. I want to cover my belly and shy away, but the look of lust on his face makes me feel sexy. I went from not having a baby bump to not fitting any of the jeans I purchased the first day we arrived.

  It’s the look that he’s giving me now that has kept me from freaking out. Every night we fall asleep with him palming my belly no matter how I lay. I’m honestly in awe of my body and the fact that there’s a little person growing inside of me. I think it’s finally starting to hit that I’m going to be someone’s mommy.

  The more I think about it, the more I want to stake my claim on the life I want to live. Sure, I still fear what my father will do and say, but I’m ready to face it. I think. Okay, maybe not completely, but I’m getting there.

  “Where have you gone?”

  I yelp and jump as Ryan’s voice rumbles in my ear. He places his hands on my hips to steady me. I wobble on my heels.

  “K
ick the shoes off. I want you and the baby comfortable.”

  I nod and will my heart to stop racing. Stepping out of my heels, I lock my eyes back on him in the mirror. He looks down at me with a smile in the corners of his lips. It’s sexy and dangerous at the same time.

  I bite my lip nervously. I’m never sure what to expect, but this feels so different. The atmosphere is charged and change lingers in the air.

  I can’t explain it. I know he’s about to change me. I’m just not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing.

  “Stop thinking,” he says as he palms my breasts.

  His touch fires off straight to my core. My thighs are so slick with my arousal, I can hear the moisture when I shift my legs. Clearing my mind of anything but his touch, I anchor myself to the moment.

  In one of the classes I sat in on this week, the Mistress did an entire presentation on remaining in the moment with your partner. I start the breathing exercise she shared with us and immediately Ryan’s touch becomes so much more potent.

  “That’s my girl,” he says in my ear as he rolls my nipples between his fingertips. “Don’t make a sound, baby. Your only job is to feel. Only time you speak is if you need me to stop or if you’re uncomfortable.”

  I want to fuss at him and ask how the heck am I supposed to remain quiet. My panting already sounds so darn loud in my ears. I clench my fists as he releases my breasts and glides his hands down my body. He fingers the garter around my waist. I had reservations about the lacey piece, but Ry helped me into it to show me that I still looked sexy.

  “This looks so good on you,” he says, bringing a smile to my lips.

  I love it when he does that. In the time that we’ve been together, he has shown me time and again that he’s in tune with me. I never knew how much I wanted someone that gets me, like really gets me.

  He kneels behind me and unfastened the thigh highs from the garter. I almost moan when he chases the fabric down my leg with his tongue. He sucks a patch of skin into his mouth, causing me to bite down on my tongue. I don’t know about this not making a sound business.