by Blue Saffire
“Here, babe. Drink this,” Ry says in my ear.
I groan and lift my head. I feel so weak. Reaching for the bottle of water, I bring it to my lips. My tank top feels so tight. I start to tug at the front in annoyance.
I want to go home. I’m tired and this isn’t as romantic as the last time we were here. Ryan can hardly touch me without me running to the bathroom. All my favorite foods have become my enemy.
“Thank you,” I say softly after I down the bottle of water.
“You’re welcome. Do you think I can carry you to the bed now?”
“I don’t want to get in the bed again. Ugh, I’m so tired of being in bed. Can we sit in the living room for a bit? I want to be around people.”
“Sure, I think they’re watching a movie or something.”
“I’ll probably fall asleep.”
“No different from John and Roni. I swear, we’ll have to strain to hear the movie over their snores.” He chuckles and lifts me into his arms.
The moment he has me held to his chest I feel safe and relaxed. My head stops throbbing and I feel like I might fall asleep on the way into the living room. Sure enough, we find John and Roni knocked out with the TV watching them. John has his legs up as he lays with his head back over one armrest and Roni is lying the same way with her head on the other side of the couch.
I look out of the sliding doors and Torque is in the distance walking the beach. He does that a lot. I’ve become curious about him. He seems to have a tortured soul at times. Others, you can’t help but smile with him as he gives off a carefree vibe.
Ryan sits in an accent chair, pulling me down onto his lap with him. I snuggle in close and rest my face in his neck. I love that his cologne is subtle enough not to turn my stomach.
“This is perfect,” I murmur before I drift off.
Ryan
She’s sleeping so peacefully. I wish I could find some of that peace. Her father and mother will arrive with my parents anytime now. I’ve second-guessed this plan so many times.
However, when I last spoke to Kiyoshi I knew it was time. The old man sounded tired and frustrated. Something I’ve never known him for. I know I give him shit, but I don’t think it’s right that Carmen hasn’t at least told him she’s dating.
Honestly, I think her father is hurt by that. He knows I care about her. I think he’s been waiting to see if she will come clean at least about our relationship. This is going to burn either way. There’s a baby involved.
John and Roni stir as the sound of tires crunching over gravel fills the air. I stiffen and my body coils. I don’t know if I should be ready for a fight.
The two across from me wake and sit up, but Carmen is still fast asleep. I don’t blame her. She’s exhausted from retching all day and night.
“Showtime,” Roni yawns out.
I heave a heavy breath, she’s right, John walks to the back door as Torque signals that the cars are indeed our family. He’s been on patrol out there.
Braxton’s voice is the first I hear, causing me to groan. Why did I think my brothers were going to stay out of this? Turning my head, I find the entire Black clan filing into the house. Good thing this place is huge and we own the adjunct properties.
“Ry,” Brax croons, coming to mess my hair and kiss my forehead.
I shrug him off as Carmen starts to stir a little. However, I freeze as Kiyoshi and his wife move further into the room and take in me with their daughter in my lap. This is what I wanted. I wanted Kiyoshi to come face to face with the truth.
I guess what I wasn’t expecting is the rage that I see in his face as he takes Carmen in. With her tank and shorts on, there’s no mistaking her baby bump. I hadn’t realized that I have my palm over it until her parents’ gazes lock with it.
Her mother grins, but her father looks livid. His eyes are narrowed, steam seems to come from his ears and his head. Nelson moves into the house with that cute chick that’s always with him and it’s his reaction that seems to get the air flowing back through the room.
“Is she… Ryan, is my sister pregnant?” Ne seethes.
“For what it’s worth. She was pregnant before you asked me to watch over her,” I reply.
“What?”
I close my eyes as Carmen’s voice rings through the room. I know my girl. The amount of hurt and betrayal oozing from her confused voice slices through me. She stiffens in my lap before she starts to slowly pull away from me.
It’s all happening so fast but in slow motion. I’m helpless to stop it. I open my eyes and the pain and confusion on Carmen’s face speaks volumes.
This is about to be a total train wreck, but there will be no more lies.
Carmen
I’m still groggy from sleep, but I know two things. My parents and brother are here and Ryan has been lying to me. What I’m confused about is why he would need to watch over me and what’s my family doing here?
“You have been lying to me nonstop,” my father bellows.
I’m stunned. While a stern man, my father has never raised his voice at me. I lift to my feet and wrap my middle protectively.
My mother takes off her sweater and takes a seat. She doesn’t look surprised at all. Suddenly, I playback that day we worked out. I think she knew then.
“All of this, behind my back.” My father waves his hands in the air at me. “School, travel, boyfriend.”
“All of it lies. Lie after lie after lie. I waited for you to come clean, to stop treating me like I was born yesterday and here you are pregnant to top it all. I don’t know you. Where is my daughter?”
“Kiyoshi,” my mother says. “Come, sit.”
My father turns to her with a sharp look. “You knew. Why didn’t you tell me this?”
“Come, my husband. Sit next to me. You’re going to give yourself a stroke.”
“The women in my life are out to kill me. Why should I be concerned with anyone else? Grandfather, hm. She’s twenty and makes me a grandfather without a husband.”
My dad goes to sit next to my mother, opening his suit jacket and flipping it out at his sides before he sits. Mommy leans over and kisses his cheek before whispering something in his ear. He makes that sound in the back of his throat, but you can also see the slight change in his demeanor.
See, she has a way with him. It’s like magic. I’m glad she’s here because his words have sliced a hole through me. I can’t even look at Ryan. I’m still confused.
“Daddy, I wanted to tell you. I planned to tell you. As soon as we returned home I was going to tell you about the baby.”
“We speak every other day. You had plenty of chances to tell me,” he says bitterly.
My own anger rises. I’m a grown woman darn it. I’m tired of feeling like a child that needs my father’s approval for everything. I won’t live like this anymore.
“Listen, I messed up. I should have told you that while I did well in my Journalism classes and I actually liked them for the most part, I wanted to go into visual media. It may be against what you do at your company, but I like it.”
“I was wrong for bringing Aunt Mariah into this as well. Yes, I should have told you that I have a boyfriend and I planned to spend the summer with him because we goofed up and I got pregnant and we needed to get to know each other more. And I should have told you and mommy the moment I found out that I was pregnant.”
“But I didn’t. Ryan was able to tell his family right away and they accepted us. I didn’t think I would have that. You’ve always made me feel like if I didn’t do things a certain way, I would disappoint you.”
“I’ve always felt like the black sheep of the family. Like I’ve never belonged. You take Ne to Japan all the time. I can’t remember the last time I’ve gone there with my family. I’m always left behind.” I huff and push a hand through my hair.
“So no, I didn’t think I could tell you. It’s been eating away at me that I couldn’t pick up the phone and tell you I’m in love and having a baby. I’m happy a
nd I don’t think I’m going to finish school. At least not for journalism.”
My stomach rolls. I barrel from the room to the nearest bathroom as fast as I can. Everyone moves out of the way.
I’m embarrassed and full of emotions I haven’t yet been able to place. This is blowing up in my face and I still don’t understand how. Did Aunt Mariah rat me out? Why are the Blacks here with my family? What was Ry talking about? What the heck is really going on?
Chapter 31
Honor
Ryan
Man, this is worse than I could have imagined. I go to follow after Carmen as she runs off for the bathroom. Kiyoshi stands to block the way.
“You will stay here.”
I rock my jaw to hold back the words that are about to fly out of my mouth. I’m not in the mood. There’s no telling what I’ll say by the time I’m done.
“I will go,” Paloma says and follows after Carmen.
“I’m going to take the girls next door and get them settled in,” Felix says.
He and the ladies start to file out. My mother and father remain as do the rest of my brothers. Ne and the chick with him bend their heads together before she turns to follow after Felix and the others.
Kiyoshi takes his seat once again, but not without glaring at me. I cross my arms over my chest and glare back. Carmen’s words are still slicing through me.
“Sit,” Kiyoshi says sharply.
“Ry,” my dad warns when I go to let him have it.
I blow out a breath and take my seat. Kiyoshi removes his suit jacket and starts to remove his shirt. I crack my knuckles. Bracing for a fight.
“If you want to get it in a fight, we can, but I love your daughter so it’s going to be a fight I’m willing to have over and over because I’m not going anywhere.”
“Shut up!” he snaps. “You and Carmen think you know so much.”
He tugs off his dress shirt and then the white tee beneath it, revealing a surprisingly well-toned and defined upper body for his age. However, that’s not what grabs my attention. This man has more ink than I do.
On his torso, there’s only a blank stripe down the center of his chest. There’s dragons, flowers, Koi fish, even a Samurai on one side. The tats on his arms stop right at the wrists.
“I was a young boy when I lost my father. I was often picked on and teased after. One day I decided, no more. I wouldn’t be made to feel any less than my empty belly and tattered clothes made me feel. I started to fight back.
“An acquaintance of my father’s had been watching me. Genkei pulled me into his folds. Loyalty and honor became my life. My allegiance was to my oyabun. I cut myself off from everyone I knew to show my loyalty and respect to my new brothers.”
“I didn’t speak to my mother for years. Not until Genkei took her as his wife. That is a long story, but it caused me to become a different person, to question the choices I had made.”
“Then Genkei was killed and I had to flee with my mother until I got her to safety. I was still a boy in the eyes of many. In America is where my mother found true love and I find my truth. When I returned home alone, they were waiting for me to take Genkei’s place. I did and I found out everything that had led me to my position.”
“I had a score to settle, one that has bound me to this life until my revenge was complete, and well after. So when two babies came to me with this idea of an Alliance, I agreed,” Kiyoshi says and stands.
He begins to remove his pants and I look to my dad and mom. They don’t seem the least bit fazed. Stepping from his shoes, Kiyoshi drops his pants and turns in a full circle, revealing his back and legs covered in more tattoos. He has a geisha on his back and more of the dragon’s body.
“This is a sign of respect and trust,” Ne explains.
“Aye, it is,” my father says with a nod.
“This is who I am. This is what I’ve kept from my daughter. The blood that drips from my hands and sword are things I never wanted her to know about. My mistake was thinking I could create two worlds without consequences or closing the door to the monsters that threaten the world I’ve created for my most precious treasures.”
“This Alliance, it will do good things in our futures, but first it will reveal the things that go bump in the night. It will reveal us all as men. You want me to reveal who I am to my daughter. I want all of you.” He looks around the room at my family. “To reveal to yourselves that you are as much a part of this as those of us at the table.”
“I want you to reveal the young man you are meant to be. The young man I’ve watched since you were in diapers. The one that can be responsible and wise.”
“My anger is not that my daughter is dating you, Ryan-san. It’s that she kept it from me. Your father helped to save my life when I arrived in America.”
“Any son of his is a son of mine. But what Carmen doesn’t get to do is keep things from me that bring me joy and the humanity that I’ve so desperately clung to.” He takes a pause as tears fill his eyes. I’m stunned. “Paloma brought me my first spark of joy. Then I had my children. My life was the reflection of hell before them.”
“Not telling me about a film program that she’s excelling in is a greater wound than those I’ve received in battle. Now, I am to be a grandfather and it seems everyone has known except for me. The markings you see before you speak of pain, power, wealth, and strength. We do not show them to just anyone. You… you Ryan are my family.”
“It is why I’ve trusted you with my daughter’s life. Your father says you have called me here.” He gives a curt nod. “Thank you. Again you show the man I know you will be.”
“So he’s off the hook. This is all on me?” Carmen gasps, making her return known. She turns her fiery gaze on me. “You were only watching over me for my father. For how long? Did any of this mean anything to you or was I a mistake? Oh my God, I feel so stupid.”
“Baby, it’s not what you think,” I say.
“Save it. I know what those tattoos are. How could I be so blind? I spent years studying the Yakuza out of curiosity. I should have put two and two together. The way your men are, the trips to Japan without me. It’s all clicking into place. Wow… just freaking wow. You have a bodysuit.”
“This is not something I wanted you to know. I… I thought of what the Alliance could do to better your life. I never thought of how it would drag you into this life. No, wait. That’s a lie. I didn’t want to think about what it would mean. I wanted to believe I could protect you from all this forever.”
“So those men in the parking garage, they were after me because of you?” Carmen says with so much hurt in her voice.
“Yes and no. This is so much bigger than me or you.”
“I was pregnant then. Do you understand that I and your grandchildren were in danger because of what I didn’t know?”
“You will lower your voice,” Kiyoshi bites out. “You were never in any real danger. If Ryan failed to protect you, I knew your mother trained you well. You were walking out of there safely. Instinct would have kicked in.”
“It did,” I say. “She was amazing.”
“Wait, you were there?”
“Yes, I took care of the other guy that was on his way after you.”
She covers her belly with her hands. Her lips tremble. My heart breaks as I watch the hurt on her face.
“I was wrong for lying to you, Daddy. I am sorry for that, but you and Ryan have wronged me so much more deeply than that. While I was falling in love with him, I was only an assignment or charge or something. You’ve been lying to me all this time,” she says.
I go to cross the room to her and she takes a step back. “Carmen, please listen to me.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “I’ll be going to stay with my mother and her family. Please stay away from me.”
Carmen
I feel so hollow as I sit curled in a ball in the bed at my great-grandparent’s house. My mother sits rubbing my hair as I try to stop crying. I’m so hurt and
confused.
“You are mixing together two very different things, child,” my mother says breaking into my thoughts. “Your father chose Ryan because of his love for you. Ryan agreed because he loves you. However, the boy didn’t want to lie to you. He actually has locked horns with your father over the lies.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? You could’ve told me a long time ago. You were in on all the secrets.”
“Girl, first, watch who you’re talking to before I make you swallow your teeth,” she kisses her teeth and rolls her eyes at me. “I agreed with your father. I didn’t want you to be a part of that world either. Remember I told you about the day I met your father?”
“Yeah,” I murmur.
“I left the restaurant with him and we spent the day together. It was the best date I’d ever had, but that night was one of the worst nights of my life. Some men attacked me after he dropped me off.”
Her eyes take on a distant look. I feel like I’m seeing my mother for the first time. She continues as if she’s telling me the story as she relives that day.
“Lucky for me, your father doubled back in time to save me. He told me later that he returned because he regretted not kissing me goodnight.” She smiles and gives a soft laugh, but it dies off and an almost haunted look takes over her face. “To see your father in action. The man is deadly without apology. When he’s Kiyoshi Matsumara, oyabun, he is a different man.”
“I knew then that I was dealing with a dangerous man. He was tender with me long enough to get my tears to stop. After that, he demanded I pack a bag and he had swords in my hands that very same night before he took me to his bed to claim me as his for the rest of my life.”
“Ew, Mommy. Too much.”
“Hush, I tell you this so that you know the true Kiyoshi. That night I watched your father tear in two. Kiyoshi Nash is the man that loves his wife and children and wants nothing but the best for them outside of the world he grew up in. Kiyoshi Matsumara is a man you never want to cross. He’s ruthless, angry, and will destroy anyone that comes next to his family and thinks to harm them.” She blows out a breath.