Forbidden

by Rachel Van Dyken

  No, no, he scolded himself. He had preparations to make.

  One day later

  Katherine glared at the man sitting opposite her. The carriage hit a bump; she glared harder. Could he not feel the penetration of her stare?

  "You're going to hurt me if you keep glowering at me in that fashion, or worse your eyes will be stuck in that position, and we both know how offensive you find me." He grinned, his dimples mocking her every nerve.

  Drat the man! Days ago, she had not thought him capable of emotion, let alone smiling! And now he was practically enthusiastic. When she agreed to be his friend despite having to marry him, it seemed the best course of action.

  In her defense, she had thought to only see him a few more times before the Kringle Ball, and at worse, every day.

  But now, she was to spend four days in his company.

  In his cousin's company.

  She'd be shocked if she didn't expire from the emotional turmoil of it all.

  Add in ice skating and other games, and she was a ball of nerves. It had been pure luck on her part that she had managed not to accost the duke in the past three days.

  Surely her luck was running out.

  Benedict grinned again. Yes, it was most definitely running out.

  "Am I to understand that you've never ice skated before?" he asked, looking idly amused. If she could call inspecting her gloves and smiling amused.

  "I am quite skilled at ice skating, your grace."

  He cursed aloud and leveled her with a glare so intense, she was surprised her face didn't go up in flames.

  "We are to be husband and wife. I believe you can cease from calling me your grace, at least in private."

  "Sorry, Benedict."

  His teeth clenched. "Don't know why you'd have such trouble saying my name now, you were deuced good at screaming it when you were busy trying to plan my demise."

  Katherine bit her bottom lip trying to keep from smiling. "I was concerned for your welfare."

  "Concerned?" He tilted his head and leaned forward. "Pray tell, were you concerned before or after I was knocked out from a tree branch those many years ago?"

  She managed a stoic face. "After."

  "And when I fell off the balcony?"

  "Before."

  "Why before?"

  "Your aunt was hunting for you that night as well, Benedict, and if memory serves, you had just wagered a thousand pounds that it would rain before morning."

  Benedict's face turned serious. "How did you know my aunt was chasing me?"

  "Oh, you looked quite frantic, which is why I offered you an escape."

  "The escape being my ultimate death?"

  "I didn't say I planned it well," Katherine argued. At this point, her smile was going to freeze onto her face, permanent that it was.

  "Minx, you've been trying to ruin me your whole life, admit it."

  Katherine laughed. "Perhaps you're just upset that I ruined you first, Benedict." His name came out as a whisper.

  Eyes darkening, he leaned forward. "I didn't know you could ruin a devil."

  "And I didn't know you could redeem one, yet here we are."

  "Yes." His hands moved to her shoulders and then her neck. "Here we are."

  His lips were just a breath away from hers, but the carriage jolted them out of their moment, putting a stop to whatever spell had descended upon the carriage.

  "I'll just be reading then," Katherine said.

  "…must catch up on my sleep, you understand," he answered at the same time and quickly closed his eyes.

  Catch up on his sleep? More like experience firsthand torture. Confound it! Benedict had again almost kissed the girl!

  It wasn't necessarily the kiss that upset him.

  No, it was the way his body responded to her laugh, her every word, as if she wasn't just conversing with him but making love to him.

  Which was sheer madness! Speaking was not making love.

  And yet, with Katherine it was.

  Every word formed with her delicate lips, every sigh that escaped without her notice, every bat of her lashes.

  Mad. He was going absolutely mad.

  But kissing her? It would make things exponentially worse, for he wouldn't stop at one kiss. He would not insult his own intelligence by justifying such an action.

  With Katherine, a kiss had never been a kiss, but sheer ecstasy like he had never known. Her smell, her taste, everything about her unique and spiced.

  Better than whiskey. Blast it, better than sex.

  Madness. When a man compared kissing to sex and kissing won out, he needed to embark on a weeklong stint of debauchery.

  Yet, all he could think about was her kiss, her lips, and the simple idea that in a few short weeks she would say yes, and he could spend his days and his nights finding out what was so intriguing about the saucy minx sitting in that carriage.

  Yet, a part, a small part, warned him that once he began that discovery, he would never want to stop.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  A Snowball For a Duke

  Katherine was jolted awake by Benedict's hand.

  "Well? Are you going to wake up, or do I need to carry you?"

  Ah, just what she needed — a reminder of why he was called the Devil Duke, why he was disagreeable, and why she was upset she wasn't with his cousin. Katherine had needed that reminder, for her heart had felt lost on the journey, and she wasn't sure what was happening to her. Something larger than friendship was blossoming between them.

  And she wasn't sure her heart could take the devastation of what a man like Benedict would bring. Surely she could marry him and keep herself indifferent if he was disagreeable. But what if she began to like him, to befriend him, to love him?

  He would destroy her.

  It would start slow. Most likely Benedict would show her firsthand exactly why women whispered about his sexual encounters. But after a few weeks or even a few months, he would get bored. His eyes would wander in the general direction of the courtesans, and he would be lost forever.

  His laugh, gone.

  His smile, nonexistent.

  And she would be heartbroken.

  Which was why, when he woke her up with a smile on his face, she nudged him out of the way and stepped out of the carriage on her own.

  What she didn't know was that the ground was far closer than she realized, and she nearly lost her footing.

  Thankfully, Benedict was close behind her and caught her arm, but not before it hit him square in the face with a resounding thud.

  The footmen gasped.

  But Katherine laughed.

  Benedict cursed. "And there she is. I was wondering when your clumsy self was to make another appearance."

  She curtsied, because really there was nothing else to do in such circumstances, and wonder of all wonders the Devil Duke laughed heartily, causing the footmen to gasp for an entirely different reason.

  Naturally his laugh was followed by an excessive amount of throat clearing and chest thumping. After all, the devil was to never laugh in public. Benedict had always tried to keep his manners indifferent when in the presence of the ton, far be it from them to discover he actually had a heart. The mamas would be relentless in their pursuit if they thought him anything but disagreeable.

  Katherine wasn't sure what possessed her to indulge the man in a bit of playfulness. Maybe it was the way he cloaked his merriment with a devil-may-care attitude, or the line of his shoulders when he brought them back and tried to escort her into the large house.

  Perhaps, she thought as she looped her arms within his, childhood never truly leaves you. Maybe your physical body grows into what society deems acceptable, but those dreams, the itches you get to do something adventurous and dangerous never die. If anything, they are more intense in their drive, for the minute you decide to give in to the immaturity that plagued you when you were small, you are able to be free, to laugh, and to fly.

  "Benedict," she whispered out of earshot of
the footman. No doubt they would expire on the spot if they heard her addressing him as such.

  "Hmm?" He turned his large body toward hers. Eyebrows drawn in as if he was contemplating the meaning of life.

  "I'm sorry."

  "Sorry? Whatever for?"

  With a quick tug, she had him on his back against the snowy powder of the ground.

  "What the devil!" he shouted.

  And then Katherine grabbed a touch of snow in her hand and drizzled it on his face as if it were sand.

  He became very serious then.

  Almost too serious.

  Making her think she had finally gone too far.

  And then with a roar, he jumped to his feet firmly packing a snowball in his hand as his eyes turned to steel. "Run."

  So she did.

  As fast as her legs could carry her, she ran around the outside of the estate laughing the whole way. Snowballs flew past her head. Giggling, she found it nearly impossible to keep running as she heard him yelling threats from behind.

  And then his large arms came around her, and he whispered hoarsely in her ear, "Now, it's my turn to be sorry."

  "For wh—?"

  Benedict pushed her to the ground and pounced near her in the snow, he pinned her to the cold wet earth and leaned in. Panting, he lifted the snowball in his hand and laughed. "What will you give me for a truce, my lady?"

  Giggling, she pushed the escaped hair away from her face and gazed into his eyes. It felt quite like she was falling, only she was nowhere near a cliff or in danger. Yet her heart screamed jump, jump, jump. "Will a kiss be acceptable?"

  "No." He threw the snowball down to the ground.

  Her heart thudded, slow and heavy, in her chest and finally came to a near stop.

  Benedict's hands threaded through her hair pulling her head closer to his until their breaths were mingled. "Just one kiss is never acceptable."

  At the first touch of his lips, her world spun. His kiss was playful, as his tongue wrestled with hers and then slid out of her mouth. He tilted his head at a different angle, his cold nose lighting her skin like a fire, and then warmth met her again, as he tugged her head tighter and pressed his lips harder until it was difficult to breathe.

  "One kiss is never acceptable," he repeated, out of breath, and held out his hand. Unashamed, and still flushed from their little game, she took his arm and walked with him back to the front of the house.

  "I fear we've caused a bigger scandal than when the ton saw my knees," she said, changing the subject — anything to rid herself of the odd tingling sensation Benedict's mouth had left on her person.

  Benedict pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. "I'm a duke. Believe me, the footmen will be silent, and as for everyone else, it appears we are the first to arrive."

  "But what about Lord Marks? Surely he'll see the state of our dress?" She looked into his eyes and tried to calm her rapid gasps of excitement. Handsome to the point of stopping hearts, he merely shrugged. "That part, I already have figured out."

  "What do you mean?" Katherine asked.

  "You'll see."

  Fifteen minutes later, standing in front of the fire in her room, she knew exactly what the devil had meant. For the second Lord Marks had greeted them, Benedict had gone into detail of how Katherine, in all her clumsiness, had tripped him, causing them both to fall into the snow. He added that she often fell and took others with her, so it would be wise to watch his footing throughout the week. And then he winked.

  "I should have known," she said before they parted ways to their rooms.

  "But of course, my dear. You know how I love telling falsehoods."

  "Touché."

  "Does this mean I win this round?" He brought her hand to his lips and kissed each knuckle. His eyes danced with merriment as he licked his lips.

  "Yes."

  "Then, I believe we're even. Now change out of those clothes before you catch a chill. After all, I cannot in good sport play a game with someone who's ill."

  She withdrew her hand and curtsied but not before rolling her eyes at the handsome man. He paused, focusing on her lips and then her eyes.

  "Minx."

  "Rogue."

  "I shall see you at dinner."

  "You shall."

  And again they paused, words left unsaid. But weren't actions louder than words, for their very actions must have led everyone to believe that a minute without one another was like a thousand deaths.

  And so, Katherine was the first to turn on her heel and enter her chambers.

  She smiled at the memory of the day then cursed herself for being so infatuated. All was lost, for he already had the better part of her heart.

  "Please don't break it," she whispered into the fire and closed her eyes as her chest constricted with that all too familiar pain of rejection. Benedict never said he wanted her, and it was clear that Paisley had still thought her a little girl. Fear squeezed the walls of her throat threatening to close it all together. Was he toying with her? Or did he truly enjoy their flirtation? And if he did, was it enough for him to marry her in earnest?

  The flames licked into the air as if mocking her. The very flames that the Devil Duke was born out of no doubt, yet a small part of him it seemed was not the man he wanted everyone to believe he was. The more moments they had together, the closer she was to understanding the man behind all the rumors.

  He was actually fun.

  Invigorating.

  Beautiful.

  She cursed. A decision needed to be made. Her heart was already lost, her body his. So, it was without pause that Katherine decided on giving in to the very thing she as most afraid of. If he denied her, refused to repay her vulnerability with his own truth, then at least she'd have tried and would have no regrets, save the absolute horror of falling without the proof that he would be there to catch her.

  CHAPTER THIRTEEN

  Erotic Dinners and the Like

  The evening of the first day of the house party was upon them, and already Benedict was feeling lost.

  A snowball fight? Whatever had he been thinking? Or her for that matter! Then again, he hadn't remembered a time since he was a boy that he'd laughed so hard, or felt freer.

  It was her fault.

  She even turned her clumsiness into a private joke between the two, smiling at him, making him feel warm inside as if her smile held the secret to the sun's rays.

  The secret to the sun's rays?

  And apparently, in his mad state, he was turning into a poet.

  Heaven help him.

  He was losing not only his sanity but also his heart. Benedict could only hope that Katherine would do something, anything to make him remember the girl she once was, not the seductive woman he currently saw.

  It had taken the power of God alone to get him to stop kissing her in the snow and the strength of angels to push his feet toward the house.

  He made his way down the stairs to the dining room and cursed his eyes for scanning the room in hopes of seeing Katherine.

  She was nowhere to be seen.

  Perplexed, he didn't even see Lord Marks until the man cleared his throat. "Say, I'm not sure I've ever seen you so distracted, your grace."

  "Yes well, I…" Benedict felt off balance, as if someone had pushed him onto ice without skates. "Have an aversion to cold weather," he offered, wanting to slap himself for such a ridiculous excuse.

  "Do you now?" Lord Marks looked amused, his brown eyes twinkling as he folded his arms across his chest.

  "Yes." Benedict stood his ground and promptly began to sweat. He still felt odd as if something was off, perhaps the universe was trying to communicate with him that he needed to stop being a besotted fool and kissing girls who would rather fillet him alive than marry him. And then, his eyes again scanned the doors to the dining room. They opened.

  His jaw slackened.

  Lord Marks cleared his throat. "Close your mouth before you scare the poor thing. She is not to be the meal."
<
br />   Saints alive, let her at least be the dessert then.

  Katherine walked in with more grace than she ought to possess considering she had only hours ago tripped out of the carriage and started the most arousing snowball fight he had ever had the pleasure of participating in.

  His eyes openly admired her form in the blue dinner dress. Had she any idea how much skin she was showing? The poor thing was going to freeze to death! Suddenly irate and irritated that she would think nothing of her health, Benedict stomped over to where she stood and grabbed her arm roughly, placing her hand in the crook of his elbow and covering it with his own. A feral growl rumbled in the back of his throat.

  Yes, like a dog. He growled to show his displeasure. Was he now at odds with his body? It seemed to instinctively do things it ought not do. Poetry? Growling? Staring? Salivating? Sweating?

  Cursing, he clenched her hand and gave her a tight smile. "Beautiful dress."

  "Why thank you. I—"

  "Where would the rest of it be? Hmm?" His eyes flickered to her breasts and then back up to her face, and to his ultimate shame, back down to her breasts where they stayed for a painfully long time until Katherine nudged him in the ribs.

  "Manners, you devil." She winked.

  His stomach did an odd sort of flop.

  His heart increased his blood flow to all the wrong areas of anatomy, and when he made introductions to the rest of the dinner party, he felt such a stab of jealousy when Sir Constantine's gaze flew to her bosom, he thought his head would explode.

  If not for Katherine being on his arm, he would have ripped the man's head off and beat him with it. But the minute he tensed, Katherine looked up through dark lashes and smiled brilliantly, striking him dumb and immobile.

  "Shall we sit?" she whispered, her lips only inches from his.

  Why did her simple invitation seem to be one of sin rather than common sense? Shall we sit? Why the devil would he sit when he wanted nothing more than to lie down, plunder, possess… Truly he could think of any number of actions he would rather give his full participation to than sitting.